The Funny Papers

Steve Sack, Michael Ramirez, David Horsey, Kevin Siers, Gary Varvel, Nick Anderson, Clay Bennett, Drew Sheneman

Random Musings

I cannot get over the hypocrisy of a president who tells the Syrian people, including the children, they cannot come here because they come from terrorist countries, and then he drops bombs on Syria because Syria gassed those same Syrian people and their babies.

If he’d just let them in ....

Adele just broke a record set by Carole King’s Tapestry; Adele’s 21 has been on the Billboard Top 200  for 320 weeks now besting  Tapestry’s 318 weeks ... and 21 still sits at #103.

It was a long run for King, but now Adele rules.

Carlos had a birthday over the weekend and all he wanted was some new pants and a few new shirts, so I took him shopping on Saturday to get some new duds.

Once home, he swore he would “thin the herd” in his closet and while I was working on the computer he came into the office and said,

“Should I keep these?”

“These” were pair of gauzy white pants that were nearly sheer, and that looked like they, at one time, had a drawstring waist; so I replied,

“Sure, if you’re going as Don Johnson from Miami Vice this Halloween.”

For some reason he stomped off ...

Howsabout that United passenger that was dragged off the flight because United overbooked the flight and needed to make room for some United employees to get to Louisville?

As I said on Facebook, they ought to change their name to  UnAmerican Airlines or, if I had been the passenger they dragged off the plane, they should rebrand as Bob Airlines cuz I’d own that sh*t.

Little Donald Trump Jr. said he won’t run for governor of New York in 2018 which is good because no one asked him.

Oh, and the state of New York berated a yuuuuge sigh of relief.

Alabama Governor Robert Bentley resigned this week after it was revealed he embezzled state funds to cover-up his affair with aide Rebekah Mason.

Bentley was married for fifty-plus years until his wife found out about his cheating ass, and he used to be a Baptist Deacon and he stood strong against same-sex marriage because marriage is between one man and one woman ... and his mistress, I guess.

Now, I know there are Democrats who lie, cheat and steal, but doesn’t it always seem like its Republicans who get busted for being lying, cheating, stealing, religious bigoted hypocrites?

Yeah, I know, Tuxedo was here last week, but then he did this ... as I was getting ready for work yesterday he decided to nap in the bathroom window. But then stretched out on his back and twisted his body and when I walked in he held out his front legs to me and meowed like a little kid who wanted to be picked up.

I thought maybe he’d gotten himself twisted in the window and was having a hard time getting down, so I scooped him up, gave him a smooch and set him down.

So he could climb back into the window, turn on his back, twist his torso, hold out his paws and say, “Meowwww.” to me.

Apparently this will be a new game ....

Note to Sean Spicer: rule #1 of being a political spokes-tool, even for the Hair Furor, is that you never compare the leader of a country, no matter how despicable, to Hitler by using the phrase “at least Hitler didn’t ..."

And what was that holocaust Center business? Did Hitler escape the bunker, flee to Argentina, then return to Germany to work as a tour guide at Auschwitz?

Seriously, you’d think a spokes-tool could actually speak.

Last week, whilst watching SNL, I was once again struck by the idea that Colin Jost, of ‘Weekend Update’ fame, is kinda hot; and since he’s also funny—which I find very sexy—well, that was a plus. So, I made a mental note to make him a Hot Man this week. Then I saw that Mark Alexander at Veonix Rising, had also found Jost a little something-something and he, too, posted a few sexy snaps. I was gonna switch gears, but said, ‘Nope, hot and funny always wins.’

And then I stumbled—and I wish it had been literally—upon Reid Scott, who is on Veep  and after seeing him, all sleek and sexy, thought to myself, ‘Damn! Why didn’t we upgrade our cable to get HBO so I could him every week?’

So here is, too; we have funny and sexy and sleek and sexy. Just sayin’.

Well, for over For 138 years, the annual Easter Egg Roll has been the biggest single public event held at the White House, attracting some 35,000 Washington-area schoolchildren, military families, and Congressional guests to celebrate Easter.

Alas, not this year. When the _____’s  host the high-profile event April 17th, it will be significantly scaled down as a result of a failure to do the necessary advance planning, such as purchasing the wooden eggs given as gifts on time and sending out invitations to bring the children and their families to the White House for the celebration. 

I guess when the wife refuses to live in the same house as the husband and he’s too busy lobbing Twitter Lies and dropping bombs and dodging an FBI investigation, the little children suffer.

Muslim Family Booted Off United Flight For "Safety" Issues?

A mother and father and their three children boarded a plane in Chicago bound for Washington DC.  The mother asked if the stewardess could provide five-point harness safety seats for their children.

And then they were asked to leave the plane … oh yeah, they’re Muslims. And the pilot of that United Airlines flight cited "safety" issues as the reason for removing the family.

Eaman-Amy Saad Shebley, the mother, filmed two separate videos showing the stewardess and then the pilot asking them to leave. When Shebley asked is this was some “discriminatory” decision he simply said it was a “flight safety issue” and nothing more.

The Council on American-Islamic Relations sent a letter to United Airlines:

“We are tired of Muslim-looking passengers being removed from flights for the flimsiest reasons, under a cryptic claim of ‘security’. Security means securing passengers, not harassing and humiliating them and booting them off their flight for, of all things, actually asking for security.”

Eaman-Amy Saad Shebley wrote on Facebook:

“Shame on you ‪#‎UnitedAirlines for profiling my family and me for no reason other than how we look and kicking us off the plane for "safety flight issues" on our flight to DC for the kids spring break. My three kids are too young to have experienced this.”

The airline apologized multiple times to the Shebley family and rebooked them on another, perhaps less intolerant, flight, saying that the family was removed from their original flight because of concerns about their child’s safety seat, which did not comply with federal safety regulations.” They added that the airline has “zero tolerance for discrimination”.

Huh. Then why wasn’t that explained to the family? I mean, it sounds logical, so why not simply tell them that? United airlines, that pilot, and that flight attendant, should be ashamed of themselves.

Feeding into fear; spreading fear; just behaving badly. Whatever the excuse, they should be ashamed.

Independent