I Didn't Say It....Monday Edition

Matthew Mitcham, out Australian diver, on being an outspoken LGBT advocate:

"I certainly don't see it as a burden. I never did, especially with how much attention the LGBT cause has been getting lately with marriage equality...and with how few openly gay sports stars there are around at the moment. I don't mind attention being put on it. Ideally I would like one day for sexuality to be as unimportant and uninteresting as hair colour, or eye colour or even just gender in general. One day it will get to that. But until it is easy for sports people to come out without fear of persecution or fear of lost sponsorship income and stuff like that, or fear of being comfortable in the team environment, I don't mind attention being brought to my sexuality in the hope that it might make other people feel more comfortable … in being comfortable enough about who they are in their sporting environment."

Obviously, we need more out athletes, willing to speak up for the LGBT community.

Mitcham has paved the way, as Greg Louganis did before him, and now other athletes, straight and especially gay, need to speak up.

Michael Bloomberg, NYC mayor, on the NRA and the Stand Your Ground laws:

"These laws are vigilantism masquerading as self-defense, and getting 25 states to pass them is one of the best con jobs the NRA’s leaders have ever pulled off. They don’t give a damn whether innocent people are shot and killed. And they don’t give a damn about the integrity of the American justice system. They want to create a nation where disputes are settled by guns instead of gavels, and where suspects are shot by civilians instead of arrested by police. These laws destabilize our justice system, they degrade our society, and they destroy innocent lives. We can’t be silent — and we can’t let them stand."

That whole 'Guns Don't Kill People, People Kill People' bull really irks me.

It should be 'People With Guns Kill People'. 

Or 'Peaople Who Shouldn't Have Guns, But Can Get Them Easier Than Buying A Bottle Of Gin, Kill People'.

Mark Morford, San Francisco Chronicle columnist, on the Homophobes Are Gay theory:

"Really, who doesn't already know? Who among us with the slightest acumen toward self-reflection doesn't fully understand that the more you wail against something, the more violently outspoken or hateful you are against this or that perceived indiscretion, sexual proclivity, perversion, deviance, expression, delight, taste sensation, the more certain it is that said deliciousness secretly attracts you, turns you on and makes you enormously, terrifically scared? Case after case, priest after priest, GOP senator after megachurch pastor after spittle-flecked Tea Party zealot -- all suddenly caught pants down in a bathroom stall, in a leather bar, gay chat room, in a Grindr hookup app, living out their real and honest selves even as they rail and oppose and thump their Bibles everywhere else. Hypocrisy, thy name is homophobe. Which is, essentially, exactly what the study found. One's level of homophobia lies, quite frequently, in direct proportion to one's own brutally closeted desire for homosexual sex. Result: self-denial, self hatred, wailing and thrashing and Prop 8-ing against an unfair world." -  writing about the just-released study on the cause of homophobia."

How many anti-gay, bathroom stall toe-tappers must we endure before we understand that the most vile homophobes are actually gay men and women who are so deeply closeted, and so self-loathing, that they, in effect, attack other gays to make themselves feel somehow 'safe'?

Harry Jackson, "Bishop", still whining about marriage equality:

"Same-sex marriage isn't about civil rights. It's about our civil responsibilities. As Americans and as people of faith, we have a duty to stand up, engage, and speak the truth about marriage. And when we all stand in unity, no one can stop us. Same-sex marriage supporters have it all backward. It is the Democratic Party elites and gay marriage leaders that are pushing an agenda of division."

Hmmm, the Democrats are pushing division.

And they do that by demanding equality for all.

How divisive, Harry, how divisive.

Ken Hutcherson, "pastor", on being born gay:

"There is no evidence at all that the homosexual was born that way. I guarantee you I was. I was born this way. I was born black, I’m living black, I’m going to die black. You know we find out there’re criminal genes, they say, in some people. But do you know how to get rid of criminal gene? Two parents with a belt gets rid of the criminal gene. Discipline, understanding, good parenting removes the homosexual gene."

Oh, Ken, me thinks you're one of those homophobes with a secret, you spend so much time and effort on The Gays.

Comparing us to criminals? Been done before and people don't buy it.

But, you suggest that parents maybe beat The Gay out of their children? So, you advocate child abuse? How effing Christ-like.

But, Kenny, what about the kids in school, who think like you, that The Gay needs to be beat out of people? Are they given your permission to beat other kids, bully other kids, kill other kids?

Don't call yourself a man of God when you're a mate of Hate.

Anne Graham Lotz, daughter of Billy Graham, on North Carolina, God, and marriage equality:

"Because we live in such perilous, unstable times economically, environmentally, politically, globally, racially and even religiously, we need the security that comes from God's protection and blessing. This is not the time to defy Him by flaunting an institution He has clearly ordained, thus provoking His displeasure. Please join me in praying that God's institution of marriage would be preserved and protected in North Carolina...for our own good."

Check your facts Anne.

Marriage has been in a state of flux since it began.

Marriages today bear little resemble to marriages of old.

And God has other things to worry about, other than Adam and Steve, or Madam and Eve, getting hitched.

Madonna, telling NBC's Harry Smith how she can scold her daughter, Lourdes, for smoking, and yet smoke herself in videos:

"That's just an accessory, Harry. There's a difference."

Um....it's not an accessory. That would be a purse or a pair of shoes.
And there is a difference between an accessory and a cigartette, Madge.

Your child sees you smoke, and acting like it's all hip and cool, and she begins to smoke.

Typical Madge, trying to spin something negative--like lackluster album sales--into something positive.
Cop to it, or I'll start sending hydrangeas your way.

Bill O'Reilly, on Glee making kids "experiment" with being gay or transgender:

"If you make the behavior of these people ... if children hear it, unsupervised children, okay who don’t have parents watching their -- they might go out and experiment with this stuff...When I was a teenager and I saw James Dean smoking, it made me want to smoke...a lot of these dopey kids are confused about who they are. They’re confused."

Haven't heard from O'Reilly too much of late.

Haven't missed his illiterate rants.

Seeing someone smoke is quite different than seeing two men kiss. If you're straight, you might wanna smoke, but you won't wanna kiss a boy.

Or think you're transgendered.

But, listening to your idiotic rants does make people lose brain cells, so, there's that......

Gretchen Carlson, FuxNews "commentator", agreeing with O'Reilly:

"I wholeheartedly believe, in today’s society, that kids are experimenting with homosexuality. We see it in celebrities who maybe just do it on the side, and it may be drug-fueled...I totally agree with Bill that this causes kids to experiment. And if we didn’t– why do we have any rules in society then if we don’t try and set some parameters for our children to live their lives? I just think that this is way over the top."

If people 'experiment' with homosexuality, they're doing so because they believe they are gay, or maybe bisexual.

I was born gay, Gretchen, and IO saw all kinds of men and women on TV and in the movies having sex, and I never once thought about having sex with a woman.

Oh, and you're an idiot.

I Didn't Say It........

Mark Morford, San Francisco Chronicle columnist, on the avalanche of major companies backing the repeal of DOMA:

"Are you not furious, righteous Republican homophobe? I bet you are. I bet you're dialing your angriest, most confused buds right this moment to write letters, post barely punctuated rants to the hate forums on Free Republic, call in to Rush to demand a Tea Party-wide boycott of every single one of these sicko companies. I mean, you can't really call yourself a true American, a real Christian and still openly wear Nikes or Levi's, use Microsoft or Google, or watch Warner Brothers movies, can you? If you really walk your anti-gay talk, well, every one of these companies should be banned from your life, right?"

Hee hee.
It's funny, cuz it's true.

Brett Ratner, "apologizing" for using a gay slur during an audience Q&A, when he said, 'Rehearsal? What’s that? Rehearsal’s for fags.':

“I apologize for any offense my remarks caused. It was a dumb way of expressing myself. Everyone who knows me knows that I don’t have a prejudiced bone in my body. But as a storyteller I should have been much more thoughtful about the power of language and my choice of words.”


I am so sick of people saying the word 'fag' as some sort of derogatory slur, or when they can think of another word for stupid. [Sidenote: I suggest Ratner, as in, 'Rehearsal's are for Ratner's.']
And then these Ratner people release a statement where they tell us that they have gay friends and everyone who knows them knows they aren't homophobes.
Guess what? We don't know you aren't a homophobe, or Ratner-esque. We go by what you say, and what you say is Ratn....stupiud.

Larry Kramer, on his perception that the LGBT community needs to learn to fight back:

"At the height of the Holocaust, when Jews were being shoveled into the ovens by the trainload, a great woman by the name of Hannah Arendt, who was a political philosopher – Jewish, obviously, and German – said, in essence, to all of the Jews in the world, 'Why are you allowing this to happen? Where is your army?' She thought the Jews should actually have their own army, which was an unbelievable thing for a woman to say. And, in essence, she was saying, 'You brought all this on yourselves. You get what you deserve. You're not fighting back. And you've never fought back, ever, in your whole history.' And I say that about us, too. People don't want to hear it."


You can't sit silently by and "hope" it'll get better.
You have to stand up, stand for something, say something, do something.
Otherwise, you'll get what you put out. Nothing.

Mark Driscoll, the "pastor" who claimed that male masturbation is gay, because it's the same thing as having sex with a man, now says that yoga is the Devil's handiwork:

"Whether they know it or not, Christians who engage in yoga are participating in a religious expression that is antithetical to Christianity. The result is often an unguarded spirit that is susceptible to the many lies of Satan and a slow, almost unperceivable degradation of faith and Christian truth in one’s life. The act itself is a worship act. Subsequently, it cannot be done in a way that is not spiritual."


Wow.
I can't Choke The Chicken, Spank The Monkey or do Downward Facing Dog?
I'm screwed.
But in a good way.

Gretchen Whitmer, Michigan state Senator, reading the GOP the riot act over passage of a "bullying" bill that was gutted so heavily that it actually creates "a blueprint for bullying":

"You may be able to pat yourselves on the back today and say that you did something, but in actuality, you're explicitly outlining how to get away with bullying. Your exceptions have swallowed the rule. As passed today, bullying kids is okay if a student, parent, teacher, or school employee can come up with a religious or moral reason for doing it....There are at least 10 Michigan children in the past decade whose deaths are directly attributable to bullying...Had this bill that you're going to pass today been law in effect while they were alive, how many of their deaths would have been prevented? ZERO!....In fact not only does this not protect kids who are bullied. It further endangers them by legitimizing excuses for tormenting a student. And the saddest and sickest irony of this whole thing is that it's called 'Matt's Safe School Law'. And after the way that you've gutted it, it wouldn't have done a damn thing to save Matt!....This is worse than doing nothing! It's a Republican license to bully."


And now it looks like her rant has paved the way for the bill's wording to be changed.
Bullying is bullying, whether you're Christian or not.

Sergio Viula, Brazil's "ex-gay" leader, on how there is no such thing as "ex-gay":
"Today I know that I was deceiving myself. But back then, I thought that every sentiment or attraction was a mere case of ‘temptation’ and that it could be overcome with prayer and dedication to god. In the group, we used to think, basically speaking, that being gay was a sin, which should be confessed and abandoned and, therefore, we would proselytize, counsel, pray, preach, recommend certain books, read the Bible – things that believers usually do, but focusing on homosexuality itself; unfortunately, always demonizing homogenic love. Nobody really quit being gay. There were relationships even within the group, between an activity and another, they would always find time for that."


You can Pray Away The Gay, or Gay Away The Pray.
We're here, we're queer, pray for something you can actually change.
Like a bigoted mind. It worked with Sergio Viula.

Brian Brown, NOM president, on the Michigan state Senate's recent passage of a bill that allows bullying if it's done with a "religious or moral" purpose:
"Are some major political players openly now asserting that protecting gay children from bullying—a worthy goal—requires giving the government the right to prohibit thoughtful and civil expressions of religious or moral viewpoints? What would become of our democracy if we accepted this reckless premise? I hope Michigan's effort to civilize children by repressing bullying becomes a landmark of a new effort to genuinely address the legitimate concerns of parents—including parents with gay teens—without heavy-handed use of government power to repress and exclude Christian views on sex and marriage."


Shut up, Brian,
You've been served.
See, perhaps a gay kid could justify bullying a Christian kid for a good and moral reason. How would you feel about that you dimwitted hack?

Stephen Colbert, on that Bullying Is Okay If Jesus Says So bill in Michigan:

"It is well known that the homosexual agenda is just an insidious plot to prevent gay teenagers from dying...The point is, bullying is just fine as long as you get a permission slip from God. With this amendment to the law, if you're a Michigan Christian teenager giving a gay kid a swirlie, you can just say it's a baptism."

The Gay Agenda is, as anyone who is LGBT or LGBT-friendly knows, equality.

That's all.

Just treat us like you'd treat everyone else, only, we're kinda hoping you treat everyone as you'd want to be treated.

Letter To A Whiny Young Democrat

This piece was written by Mark Morford, for the SF Gate [source] and brought to my attention by Round-The-Way gay, Neal:
__________________________________

Hey, at least this guy voted. Obama won in '08 with 66% of the 18-29 vote. Most of that demo stayed home this time and played Cut the Rope and drank vodka/Red Bulls and tweeted about not caring anymore. Ah, silly youth.
Photo: David Goldman / AP

Oh, now you've done it.

See? You see what happens when you young liberal voters get so disgruntled and disillusioned that you drop all your party's newborn, hard-won ideas about Hope™ and Change™, without any patience, without really giving them sufficient time to mature, without understanding that hugely foreign, anti-American concept known as "the long view"? 

See what happens when you wallow in hollow disappointment, trudging all over your liberal arts campus and refusing to vote in a rather important mid-term election, all because your pet issues and nubile ego weren't immediately serviced by a mesmerizing guy named Barack Obama just after he sucked you into his web of fuzzyhappy promises a mere two years ago, back when you were knee-high to a shiny liberal ideology? 

Well, now you know. This is what happens: The U.S. House of Representatives, the most insufferable gaggle of political mongrels this side of, well, the rest of Congress, reverts to GOP control like a brain tumor reverts to a more aggressive form of cancer, and everything gets bleaker and sadder and, frankly, a whole lot nastier. 

What happens is: Many kinds of fragmented, muddled, but still constructive Democratic progress might get stopped quite nearly dead, and even a few pieces of legislation we actually did gain get slapped around, threatened, stomped on the head like a scientist at a Rand Paul rally. Happy now? 

Check it out, kiddo: This is not just any Republican party you allowed back into power; these mealy folks are not anything like the war-hungry, Bush-tainted army of flying monkeys and Dick Cheney moose knuckles you so wonderfully helped bury in the history books last election. 

No, the GOP of 2010-2011 is even weirder, dumber, less interested in anything you even remotely care about; this GOP is infused like a sour cocktail with a bitter splash of the most cartoonish, climate change-denying Tea Party dingbats imaginable -- most of whom think you're an elitist, terrorist-loving, gay-supporting threat to "real" American values, btw -- all led by a guy named Boehner who wears a bizarre, shellacked tan so fake and creepy it makes Nancy Pelosi looks like a supermodel. 

And you made it all happen. Or rather, you failed to prevent it from happening, by not voting, by turning your collective back on Obama's tough love, by getting all whiny and dejected like some sort of sullen teen vampire who can't get laid. 

Do you deny it? Did you see the polls and studies that said that most fresh-faced, Obama-swooning Dems like you are now refusing to support our beloved Nazi Muslim president because he didn't wish-fulfill your every whim in a week? That he was, in fact, not quite the instant-gratification SuperJesus of your (or rather, our) dreams? 

Of course you didn't see any of that. Hell, I bet you're not even reading this column right now. You're probably back on Twitter, raging into the Void about, hell, who knows what? The Wolf Parade concert. Angry Birds. The People of Wal-Mart. Anything but politics, really. 

But hey, whatevs, right? Screw it. Screw him. After all, the prez let you down. Conveniently "forgot" to include you in the dialogue, after a major election that you helped him win. Where were the outreach programs? The campus speaking tours? Weekly appearances on "The Daily Show"? Legal pot and gay marriage and discounts tickets to SXSW and Burning Man and Coachella? I want my goddamn political perks, and I want them now. 

Hey, I understand. We're an instant gratification culture, and you're an ADHD generation. Who wants to hear that serious enviro legislation might take a decade or two to fully come to fruition? Who wants to hear about Obama passing rather amazing student loan reform? Or even financial reform? Or health care, the Iraq drawdown, saving a million jobs at GM, or all the rest of his rather astonishing achievements to date? Dude, so boring.  

Of course, you've now learned the hard way that the hot flush of a major election is far more electrifying than the gray n' meaty grind of actual governing. Obama flew into office on gossamer liberal wings, but the real halls of D.C. are a goddamn pigsblood slaughterhouse, brutal and depressing, full of gnarled legislative compromise. Screw that noise, you know? 


And you know what? You're right. Well, sort of. The Obama administration sure as hell could've done more to keep young activists inspired and involved. It's an opportunity squandered, no question. Then again, dude was sorta busy unburying the entire nation, you know? And the twitchy Democratic party has never been known for its savvy cohesion. Maybe you can give him/them a break? Whoops, too late. 

Look, I'm sorry. I know I'm being far too hard on you. Of course it's not just you. It's not completely your fault these dimwit Repubs were allowed to ooze back into a bit of power so soon. As many analysts have pointed out, this wasn't a vote for the Republicans, but against the limp-wristed Dems who didn't step up and lead with more authority and clarity of purpose. Truly, libs and independents of every age are frustrated Obama isn't governing with the same kind of magical, balls-out visionary zeal that fueled his campaign. 

And let's not forget a shockingly unintelligent Tea Party movement that stands for exactly nothing and fears exactly everything, all ghost-funded by a couple of creepy libertarian oil billionaires--the leathery old Koch brothers--who eat their young for a snack. Who could've predicted that gnarled political contraption would hold water? But hey, when Americans are angry and nervous, they do stupid things. Like vote Republican. It happens. Just did. 

But here's your big takeaway, young Dem: It ain't over yet. The 2012 election is just around the corner. If we've learned anything, it's that two years whip by insanely quickly. Anything can happen, and usually does. You'll have another chance. And probably another after that. Maybe more. 

So here's what you need to know, right now: Barack Obama is, and will continue to be, a bit of goddamn miracle. He's simply as good as we're going get for an articulate, thoughtful, integrity-rich Democratic prez in your lifetime. Period. To hamstring his administration out of spite and laziness is childish and sad. Check the accomplishments. Understand the process. Deal with the messiness. 

It will never be perfect. It will never be giddy liberal nirvana, because it doesn't work that way. Politics is corrosive and infuriating, de facto and by definition, even with someone as thoughtful as Obama in the Big Chair. Understand it. Deal with it. Get back in the game. If you don't, we all lose. 

Your choice, kiddo.