Bobservations

Carlos was having trouble with his iPad last night. With his eyesight, he can still read some things on the screen, but he needs it to be in dark mode, and he had done something to change it back to light and asked me to fix it. And I did because I’m nice like that. Then he said the volume needed to be increased because when he was dictating to the iPad he said, and I’m quoting:

“I like to hear the clink clink clink of the dictation.”

I fixed the volume and said to him:

“You know what  like to hear? The sound of your feet moving you out of the office.”

I swear it’s pure comedy gold around here.

Whobert? Honey? It was thing 45 who closed the schools back in 2020, you dimbulb. But then what do you expect from a “Good” Christian woman who, earlier this week, prayed that that Joe Biden would die. Again.

I caught some of the Grammy’s and here’s what I thought … I loathe Beyoncé. I don’t find her the Second Coming in music and I find her a lying pandering hypocrite. As she won an award she thanked God, her dead Uncle, her parents, her husband, her three kids and, wait for it, the hypocrisy stings, the “queer” community. This after doing a concert in Dubai and being paid tens of millions of dollars to perform in a country that outlaws homosexuality. Fuck off, Bey.

Cheers to Kim Petras for being the first out--Thanks Jon--transgender person to win a Grammy in the best pop duo/group performance category, and for Sam Smith to win as the first non-binary artist; they won for their song ‘Unholy.’

Lastly, Madge’s face. Now people are playing off the outrage over Madonna’s appearance as ageism, but it’s not; it’s WhatTheFuckism. I missed the intro so I saw this person walk onstage, speak in a strange voice, not Madge’s usual British accent, and look just odd. As I began to realize it was Madge, my thoughts went from ‘Egads, her face’ to ‘Is this why her Madonna film was shelved? So she could star in the reboot of 'Hellraiser’?

With people calling it ageist to comment on Madge’s new face, I thought, let’s contrast and compare, using Cher, Madonna’s BFF as an example. This year Madonna is celebrating 40 years in music, and has a tour planned to commemorate that feat, so up top is a picture of 24-year-old Madonna from the early days alongside 64-year-old Madonna from last weekend.

Below that is Cher, also from 1983 when she was 36-years-old and contrasted with Cher, who’s been in show business for sixty-plus years,  from 2023 at age seventy-six.

Both women have had work done, but only one has crossed a line, and, again, that’s not ageism, but WhatTheFuckism.

PS And don't give me the line that Madonna looks like that because she shaved her eyebrows; t's the lips and eyes and cheeks and chin, too.

As Tyre Nichols sat propped against a police car, bloodied, dazed and handcuffed after being beaten by a group of Memphis police officers, Officer Demetrius Haley sent a photograph of Nichols to at least five people, including two fellow officers, a civilian employee of the department and a female acquaintance.

Demand police reforms.

Pete Santilli, conservative rightwingnut,  has blamed the earthquake in Turkey and Syria on Sam Smith’s demonic Grammy performance.

Yes, he says that God was so incensed at an Englishman wearing a horned hat and singing a song on TV in California that She sent an earthquake to the other side of the world and murdered over 10,000 people.

Let that sink in.

It’s almost Valentine’s Day and you know what that means: revenge gifts … like having your ex’s name engraved on a cat litter box.

The Animal Friends Humane Society , an Ohio animal shelter, offers this service to fundraise and, more importantly, help the heartbroken by letting them be petty! So, if you’ve been dumped or scorned, cheated on or mistreated, dedicate a litter box to the one you used to love. The gesture will cost $5 per box; the promotion will run until February 12, and the shelter will then reveal all the sponsored litter boxes, names included, in a Facebook post on Valentine’s Day.

Ain’t Revenge Grand?

I really need a pair of socks like this, just to see the looks on people faces as I cross and uncross my legs.

Y’all know what a fan I am of the professional sportsball stuff, right? And I especially like that this year the Quarterbacks for each team are both Black men for the first time in history with Kansas City Chiefs Patrick Mahomes, top left, going up against Eagles QB Jalen Hurts, top right. And then there are two brothers playing on opposite teams in the big game. Bottom right is younger brother from the Chiefs, Travis Kelce, while bottom left is the older brother from the Eagles Jason Kelce. All that means nothing when the real question is: Which One Would You Hit?

I hate to boast, but I really think my response to Large Marge was sheer perfection and, dare I say it, even more comedy gold?

Tuesday Thought #3

Random Musings

This is one of those weeks ... yesterday marked the third anniversary of my sister’s passing from lung cancer, and then tomorrow will mark the ten year anniversary of my mother’s passing from lung cancer.

Not a day goes by ...

The Grammy’s. It was an Adele v Beyoncé showdown and, well, the best woman won when Adele beat Beyoncé in every category ... and onstage.

As usual, Adele sings and Beyoncé “performs.”

The singer was fabulous, even when she flubbed a lyric in the George Michael tribute and asked to start over. The performer did some kind of bizarre sing-talk song and then tilted back in a chair. WTF does that even mean? Oh, she didn’t care because she is an artiste!

Sidenote: when Adele won the last two awards she stood onstage and said Beyoncé should have won because her album, and song, were Adele’s favorites. That was sweet ... now, picture it going the other way with Beyoncé winning; does anyone think she’d say Adele should have won?

I know, right?

And speaking of the Grammys ... Celine Dion hijacked the presentation of an award to talk about herself, and her late husband, and a Grammy she won eighteen years ago.

Sit down, Celine, please.

Oops ... more retailers are Dumping _____.

Both Kmart and Sears have dropped Hair Furor’s crappy, made in China, merchandise, again citing poor sales.

The statement from Sears says it all:

“As part of the company’s initiative to optimize its online product assortment, we constantly refine that assortment to focus on our most profitable items. Amid that streamlining effort, 31 Trump Home items were among the items removed online this week. Products from the line are still offered online via third-party Marketplace vendors.”

The #GrabYourWallet movement is claiming this as another victory—in addition to having Ivanka’s made in China crap removed from Nordstrom and Neiman Marcus last week.

The drop in sales of all _____ merchandise, from father and daughter, is the result of the majority of Americans who are disgusted and repelled by anything bearing that name.

Good.

So, we recently saw Hidden Figures, about the group off African-American women who helped get our astronauts into space and onto the Moon. Great movie, great performances and a couple of Hot Men ...

Aldis Hodge played Levi Jackson and he is just fine, while Glen Powell, who had played a nerdy perv on Scream Queens, was John Glenn in the film.

And last week, Mistress Maddie pointed me in the direction of the actor who played Prince Albert on PBS’ Victoria ... Tom Hughes.

I saw this at Biki’s place today—reposted from JoeMyGod—and thought I’d share it, too:

Some people are saying that we should give Donald Trump a chance, that we should "work together" with him because he won the election and he is "everyone's president." This is my response:

•I will not forget how badly he and so many others treated former President Barack Obama for 8 years...

•I will not "work together" to build a wall.

•I will not "work together" to persecute Muslims.

•I will not "work together" to shut out refugees from countries where we destabilized their governments, no matter how bad they might have been, so that we could have something more agreeable to our oligarchy.

•I will not "work together" to lower taxes on the 1%.

•I will not "work together" to increase taxes on the middle class and poor.

•I will not "work together" to help Trump use the Presidency to line his pockets and those of his cronies.

•I will not "work together" to weaken and demolish environmental protection.

•I will not "work together" to sell American lands to companies which then despoil those lands.

•I will not "work together" to enable the killing in any way of whole species of animals just because they are predators, or inconvenient for a few, or because some people want to get their thrills killing them.

•I will not "work together" to remove civil rights from anyone.

•I will not "work together" to waste trillions more on our military when we already have the strongest in the world.

•I will not "work together" to alienate countries that have been our allies for as long as I have been alive.

•I will not "work together" to slash funding for education.

•I will not "work together" to take basic assistance from people who are at the bottom of the socioeconomic ladder.

•I will not "work together" to allow torture and "black op" prison sites.

•I will not "work together" to "take their oil."

•I will not "work together" to get rid of common sense regulations on guns.

•I will not "work together" to eliminate the minimum wage.

•I will not "work together" to support so-called "Right To Work" laws, or undermine, weaken or destroy Unions in any way.

•I will not "work together" to suppress scientific research, be it on climate change, fracking, or any other issue where a majority of scientists agree that Trump and his supporters are wrong on the facts.

•I will not "work together" to criminalize abortion or restrict health care for women.

•I will not "work together" to increase the number of nations that have nuclear weapons.

•I will not "work together" to put even more "big money" into politics.

•I will not "work together" to violate the Geneva Convention.

•I will not "work together" to give the Ku Klux Klan, the Nazi Party and white supremacists a seat at the table, or to normalize their hatred.

•I will not "work together" to deny health care to people who need it.

•I will not "work together" to increase the profits of the insurance companies.

•I will not "work together" to deny medical coverage to people on the basis of an alleged or actual "pre-existing condition."

•I will not "work together" to increase voter suppression.

•I will not "work together" to normalize tyranny.

•I will not "work together" with anyone who is, or admires, tyrants and dictators.

•I will not "work together" with Donald Trump or anyone who supports him, because I will not allow one man to feed upon the fears of the populace, blaming minorities for their condition or their inability to thrive.

This is the line, and I am drawing it.

•I will stand for honesty, love, respect for all living beings, and for the beating heart that is the center of Life itself.

•I will use my voice and my hands, to reach out to the uninformed, and to anyone who will LISTEN for what's really so dangerous about Donald Trump, his friends and the Big Lie they spin to the world:

That "winning", "being great again", "rich" or even "beautiful" is anything more than nothing... When others are sacrificed to glorify its existence.

#RESIST

~Mike Harnisch

Well, it looks like _____’s Minister of Propaganda, Kellyanne Conway, is being bounced off at least one news show.

Mika Brzezinski of Morning Joe revealed that Kellyanne Conway often times texts directly to schedule an interview hit. But after what Brzezinski calls a never-ending cascade of “fake news, [and] information that is not true” she’s done with Conway:

“I know for a fact she tries to book herself on this show; I won’t do it. Every time I’ve ever seen her on television, something’s askew, off, or incorrect. I will say: Kellyanne Conway does not need to text our show, just as long as I’m on it because it’s not happening here. And again, I don’t even think she’s saying things she knows to be untrue, she’s just saying things just to get in front of a TV set and prove her relevance because behind the scenes, she’s not in these meetings. She’s not credible anymore.”

Kellyanne Conway is like a _____ product ... no one wants her any longer.

Now, I’m not saying this is the fault of Betsy DeVos, the new head of the US Education Department, but it is quite telling that this happened just after she was confirmed.

At 8:45 on Sunday morning, the department’s sent out this Tweet:

The man’s name is W.E.B. Du Bois.

And, to make matters worse, the department then tried to apologize for it ...

... and misspelled the word “apologies.”

Again, this from the Department of Education ... but, to be fair, it’s a _____ Department of Education.

Random Musings

My Boss: So .... I went to hear Ted Cruz' speech at the Galleria on Monday.

Bob: Of course you did.

My Boss: Why do you say that?

Bob: [side-eye]

My Boss: Okay.

Now this looks like a good movie, though, at times, it might be just kinda boring ... paying bills and stuff.

I love a good conspiracy as much as the next guy but, man oh man, are they bringing up crazy with the death of Justice Antonin Scalia:

Obama killed him because, well, he’s a lame-duck president and he was bored.

Hillary killed him because she’s a Clinton and it’s what they do.

John Poindexter, the guy who paid for Scalia’s weekend getaway, and who had business before the court, killed him.

And, well, of course, Satan did it because he’s a Democrat.

Okay, I can watch the OJ trial — the original, real, one, not this TV one — and find myself attracted to Christopher Darden [left].

And, I can watch the OJ trial — the TV one, not the original, real, one—and find myself attracted to the actor, Sterling K. Brown, who plays Christopher Darden [right].

Just sayin’.

In the Republicans Are Dumb File:

Marco Rubio released a new ad this week, called “Morning Again In America” which mimics an old ad by the GOP Christ, Ronald Reagan:

 “It’s morning again in America. Today, more men and women are out of work than ever before in our nation’s history.”

Yes, it’s dismal and ark and, well, it features shots of a harbor, a busy city street and serene suburban neighborhood … In Canada. The Vancouver Sun pointed out the presence of city landmarks like the Harbour Centre tower and cranes of Port Metro Vancouver. The tugboat even appears to be sporting a small Canadian flag.

Marco Rubio is running for President of Canada? I thought Ted Cruz was the Canadian?

Some notes on the Grammys:

Taylor Swift is a hack performer, who relied on mini soundbites of lyrics, followed by awkward tween girl model poses and a shiny catsuit. TayTay? You can’t sing; stay home.

The Weeknd surprised me with a great voice.

Adele was the victim of bad sound people, on TV at least; rumor has it — see what I did there — she sounded much better in the arena.

Gaga was good, though kinda manic; there were times I thought she was having a seizure.

Kendrick Lamar ruled the night with a performance that was powerful and breathtaking and amazing and stunning.

Oh, and the awards? Who cares? We already knew who would win, though I loved Taylor Swift’s fake-assed elation every time someone bested her.

If you didn’t believe that Jeb Bush is just as dumb as his brother, there’s this:

He forgot to renew his website name so now if you head over JebBush.com you are redirected to a site for Donald [t]Rump. Seriously.

Speaking of Jeb … Guns are America? 

I guess it’s a good thing that, even with all that PAC money in your accounts, it’s clear you won’t be president, because we don’t need another NRA poster boy in the White House. 

Which leads to the …

A Grammy Rant ... Or, A Granty, If You Will

LL? May I call you LL? Cool? J? Why the hat? Why? And why lick your lips every couple of seconds. I don’t get it. And the near-shouting you do when you speak. I don’t get it. You’re a hot man but the hat and the tongue and the yelling? No, honey, no. You're a congenial host, and a big beefy feast for the eyes, but let's reopen that bag of tricks and try something new, m'kay?

Sam Smith was a big winner last night, though, yeah, I am annoyed with him. When he first came on the scene with this record, he downplayed the ‘gay’ thing—he didn’t wanna be the gay spokesman, though I don’t know who, if anyone, asked him—and yet now he’s riding the ‘gay’ thing for all it’s worth. Plus, I get a big Boy George vibe from him so, yeah, there’s that too. 

But, but, hearing Sam Smith sing with the truly amazing Mary J. Blige kinda made up for it, though the use of table lamps as a set piece eerily echoed Adele’s set on her royal Albert Hall performance DVD, making it seem like Sam wants to be the ‘new’ Adele; he can’t.

Gosh, I love Jessie J. She's a hot sexy British girl who can sing — something lacking in the show last night ... cough cough ... Madonna. 

And I cannot believe that Tom Jones, who really rocks the Hot Grampa look, can still belt out a tune! They were actually good, though in a creepy I dating my grandfather kinda way.

Pharrell wins for Best Pop Solo Performance for ‘Happy’ and i couldn't help but think, Why? Didn’t that song come out like three years back? It feels like it. 

But Pharrell is rocking the Little Boy Shorts, and not the Mounties Hat, though he returned later to sing Happy in a new, gospel meets classical way, looking like a bellhop. M’kay.

Juanes is hot, singing in Spanish while wearing tight jeans ... what more could a boy who loves the Latino man ask for?. Él es tan caliente. 

And then you throw in some Dierks Bentley, and add a little New England Patriots Malcolm Butler and Julian Edelman, and the night got a little bit hotter.

Just sayin’. 

Kanye gets two tries at performing, and the first was kinda Meh. His voice was so badly manipulated that he sounded off-key and just sad. The second performance, with Rihanna and Paul McCartney, was better though Rihanna definitely stole it from, him. But then he went Krazy again and tried to walk up onstage when Beck won to say Beyoncé should ‘a won; that same old trick. He tried to play it off like a joke, but then was quoted as saying Beyoncé is better than Beck and Beck needs to respect the artistry of Beyoncé though Kanye West doesn’t feel the need to respect anyone’s artistry. He’s a talentless dick, with a supersized ego, who needs to remove his lips from Beyoncé’s ass and should be muzzled and chained.

Prince comes out and again the crowd goes while, though all I can think is that his hair is looking a little old lady.

And he's dressed like an Orange-sicle.

I'm getting a very ‘Golden Girls’ vibe from him. He’s the African-American Rose Nyland. Or, maybe Dorothy Zbornak, rocking that sneer!

Madonna. 

What can I say? The guys were hot, the song was not. But I guess toreador is her new look until this album fades … more … from site. The singing was so-so and the dancing—at least from her—was spotty, as I saw on more than one occasion how the male dancers helped her stand up. Madonna, aging gracefully … not. 

Sia’s ‘performance’ was interesting, though why she had Shia LaBeouf come out and read a poem beforehand was weird; just as weird as why she faced the wall the entire time. Kudos, though, to Kristen Wiig; who knew she could dance like that?

Beck is such a Pocket Man; put him in a shirt pocket, a man purse, or backpack, and you’re good to go. 

He was also a big winner, with a couple of Grammys to take home. But he was also a drab, sad song singer last night; his performance Chris Martin ... about ten seconds in I thought, What a beautiful song. Twenty seconds in I thought, Is it over yet?

Ed Sheeran gave one of the drabbest performances of the night before he teamed up with ELO. But there was a lot of drab and morose and moronic music. Gaga with Tony Bennett looked like a manic Chihuahua in sequins and a blond wig, scurrying about the stage shaking her ass. But, hey, at least, unlike Madonna, she can still sing.

And I get so annoyed with Taylor Swift ... for pretty much everything. The best thing about last night was her not winning, and the worst thing about last night was her standing up and dancing all through the show, and then checking to see if she’s on camera. 

Shades of Oprah. Plus, from certain angles, it looks like she’s got The Snaggle Tooth.

Adam Levine looks so better with his tattoos covered, and Gwen Stefani really should’a rocked that red dress on the carpet. 

That was the best thing about their sad song—her dress and his face.

Hozier singing ‘Take Me To Church.’ Finally a good song that says something and makes a point, and just when  I decided it would be the best performance of the night, freaking Annie Lennox joins him to finish up, and then takes over with ‘I Put A Spell On You.’ 

I’ll say it: Annie Lennox rules.

Brooke Axtell, a survivor of human trafficking and domestic violence, gave a beautiful speech; almost poetic. 

But, how that one true moment shape-shifted into Katy Perry, off the tiger for now, and really well-known for shooting fireworks off her breasts, singing about domestic violence was one of the worst segues I have ever seen.

A few days ago she was bounding like a cheerleader and beach babe and now she’s playing all somber. Katy knows how to milk the attention. They should have let Brooke’s speech stand on its own.

Usher gets to sing a Stevie Wonder tune, and then escorts Stevie out to play the harmonica? Hey, Grammy people? If you have the ‘real deal’; backstage, why you gotta give me Usher? 

And then, why, for the love of Motown, why, when Stevie presents with Jamie Foxx, does Jamie slips into his black glasses for an oh-so-not-funny riff on blind people. Ouch.

I understand CBS will be airing some kind of Stevie Wonder tribute show in a few weeks, but they treated him like a cast-off last night.

It's Stevie Wonder, people! Respect.

We are near the end when GOOP shows up—looking a little worse for wear … maybe when they were ‘steam cleaning’ her cooch … Google it … some of the steam ruined the hair on her head, too—to introduce us to her “friend’ Beyoncé, who sings a gospel tune with her tits out.

Luckily, it was a short performance and the show ended with John Legend and Common singing their song from Selma. Greta tune, and, gawd, Common is hot.

So, there you have it, my Grammy Rant, er, my Granty, if you will.

What did YOU think?