I Ain't One To Gossip, But ...

Oh, Les Moonves! Again.

Cybill Shepherd has revealed that she too had been propositioned by disgraced former CBS bigwig, serial sexual predator, Les Moonves. She says:

“He was, well, he was telling me his wife didn't turn him on, some mistress didn't turn him on, and ... he says, 'Well, you know, why don't you let me take you home?' I said, 'No, I've got a ride.' And I had my car outside with a good friend of mine who is an off-duty LAPD officer."

Cybil said ‘No,’ and "quite shortly afterward," her show, Cybill, which was rather popular, was abruptly canceled; the show ended with a cliffhanger and the words "To be continued..." 

I guess that’s now and I, for one, hope Les Moonves gets everything he deserves and more.

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How is it that I’ve never heard this story?

Courtney Love has just been granted a restraining order against her one-time manager Sam Lutfi.  Both she and Lufti are being sued by her daughter Francis Bean’s ex-husband Isaiah Silva who claims that Courtney, Sam, and some actor named Ross Butler, along with two others, conspired to break into his house, beat him up, sexually batter him, and eventually murder him in order to steal his guitar.

To be fair, this mob of ALLEGED miscreants were only able to complete part of their mission; they did not murder Silva, but now Courtney is coming for Lufti, claiming he has been “unrelentingly” harassing her and her family. She asked for a restraining to protect herself, her sister and her daughter, so Lutfi is not allowed within 100 yards of any them.

Apparently, this all stems from the criminal acts of Love and Lufti, with Lufti claiming Love never paid her for services—breaking, entering, battery, sexual assault—that he rendered; and so, he has been harassing her with emails, texts and phone calls … for payment for a crime they committed.

Seriously, I wanna see this one on Judge Judy.

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Blister Palin is back in the news, on reality TV again because she knows no other way to make some coins to pay for all those babies she’s having. And so, she’s been appearing on MTV’s Teen Mom, though, saddest of all, Blister is far from a teen, but hey, coins are coins, and this trailer ain’t gonna pay for itself; Blister is getting some $250,000 to sell herself and her kids.

But now Blister has taken issue with how she’s being portrayed on a TV show about teen moms and has taken to Instagram to whine like her mama about how she works hard, loves her kids, Democrats are bad, and her mama isn’t some drunken wannabe sitting on a porch in Alaska looking at Russia …or something:

“If I cared what people thought of me, I wouldn’t be here today - let’s be real. I’ve stood strong and held it down for my kids since day one. No matter how bad @teenmom tries to portray my “life” ..... my babies, my family, my close friends - they know the TRUTH. I’m a pretty great mom, work my ass off, show up, and hustle everyday to give my kids a pretty great life. @mtv doesn’t want to talk about faith, show work ethic, or juggling three kids alone, they don’t want to show the humble process of starting over after a divorce, building a career, or any real life issues. All they want with my little segment each week is some fake fill-in Farrah Abraham/Jerry Springer BS, and it’s simply not true. Don’t get me wrong - I’ve said some mean things and learned a lot the last several months - but the life I’ve built for my kids is NOT sitting around talking about baby daddy drama. Every week is a continued disappointment with their inaccuracies and false narratives. I hate getting all emo on you guys but I’ve kept quiet for too long about it. Don’t believe everything you see on TV.”

Sounds like a long rant for a woman who has made most of her coins by selling herself, and those kids, to any reality show that will have her, but says she doesn’t care what people think about her. Clearly, the idiot apple doesn’t fall far from the Dumbass Tree.

Seriously, Blister, if it’s all too much, get a job off TV and see if you can support your kids.

Failing that, simply STFU.

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Tara Reid, who is to acting what Blister Palin is to motherhood and reality TV, is suing the Sharknado franchise producers—Asylum Entertainment and SYFY Media Productions—for unlawfully using her image and she wants, wait for it, $100 million.

For her image … on the side of a slot machine.

Reid claims that in “Performer Engagement Agreement” for Sharknado 5—there were four more before that—there was a clause stating that “in no event shall Performer’s likeness be used for any merchandising in association with alcohol, tobacco, gambling, hygiene, or sexual products without Performer’s prior written approval.”

No beer cans, no tampons, no dildoes, no slot machines! Ever!

As to why she’s suing for $100 million, Reid’s lawyers at Jacoby & Meyers explain:

“As such, the actions of the Defendants were malicious and oppressive and justify an award of punitive and exemplary damages in an amount sufficiently large to set a public example of deterrence, and in an amount no less than 100 million.”

Reid must be loopy as hell to think her likeness on anything is worth $100,000,000.

That’s a lot of zeroes for a zero.

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Former NBC News hack Megyn Kelly is still haggling with the network over how the rest of her contract, meaning her coins, is going to play out.

Kelly wants the money now, all of it, while NBC News wants to cash her out in installments so she won’t violate any nondisclosure agreements.

Really? What could Kelly possibly say? That NBC hires pseudo-racist, or at least racially insensitive news hosts? Or hosts who like to sexually harass women?

We already know that! But here’s the best part: Kelly says she wants all the coins now because “her phone is blowing up” and she is still deciding which network/hosting job to do following her departure from NBC.

Perhaps she’ll go back to Fox where she’ll fit in nicely.

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Now, let’s end with a good story … one of my favorite actors, Julia Louis-Dreyfus.

As you may know, last year Louis-Dreyfus announced she had cancer, and her treatments were far worse than she ever let on. And, as is the state of journalism these days, the paparazzi were clamoring to get a photograph of Cancer Julia looking sick and haggard because, well, pigs, but Julia outsmarted them and really took back the power and control by posting her own pictures to social media:

“There were people with long lenses trying to get pictures of me looking ill, and I think I kind of burst the bubble on a lot of it because of my social-media presence.”

And not one of them made any coins on those pictures, which makes me love the story, and Julia Louis-Dreyfus, even more.

She’s real, and she’s spectacular.

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I Didn't Say It ...

Julia Louis-Dreyfus, Emmy award-winning actress from Veep and Seinfeld, announcing that she has breast cancer:

 “1 in 8 women get breast cancer. Today, I’m the one. The good news is that I have the most glorious group of supportive and caring family and friends, and fantastic insurance through my union. The bad news is that not all women are so lucky, so let’s fight all cancers and make universal health care a reality.”

Good for her, to shine a light of the plight of breast cancer victims in this country and the plight of folks wity no healthcare.

Here’s to a speedy recovery for one of my favorites.

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Trevor Noah, Daily Show host, responding to former Congressman Joe Walsh’s claim that Stevie Wonder is just “another ungrateful black multi-millionaire” because he took a knee at a concert in New York:

“Ungrateful to whom? I’m fascinated by that concept. People always say that. Ungrateful to whom? This idea that black people should be grateful is some sneaky-ass racism. A white billionaire spends a year screaming that America is a disaster, and he’s “in touch with the country” but when a black man kneels quietly, he should be grateful for the successes that America has allowed him to have? You think black Americans are free from the worry of being shot by agents of the state [if they kneel during the anthem]? That’s the whole thing that they’re protesting in the first place!”

Yes, black people need to be more grateful to white folks because we’ve done so much for y’all. OIf course, this comes from Joe Walsh, one of the biggest lying asshatted f**kmonkey to ever sit in the Congress so, yeah, there’s that.

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Megyn Kelly, to Russell Turner, a Will  Grace superfan, on the first day of her new Today Show segment:

“Is it true that you became a lawyer — and you became gay! — because of Will?”

Yes, Megyn, and interestingly enough, I became a Hillbilly Millionaire who loaded up the truck and moved to Beverly ... Hills, that is, because I watched that show on TV. I also turned out to be a wacky redhead married to a Cuban bandleader because of TV ... okay, that one’s not so far off the mark.

Still, Megyn, thanks for taking a giant step backward you idiot. TV cannot make you gay, but, clearly, being a Fox news hack for a while can't make you an idiot.

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Jim Parsons, Big Bang Theory actor, on what it felt like to be a gay man in a relationship for 15 years and to finally marry his partner, Todd—above left:

“I didn’t really think we cared about the act of it that much, to be honest with you. And that sounds cold in a way, but I finally thought … well, let’s have a party then for the celebration, and we’ll go ahead and legalize this thing. And I really thought it would kind of end at that ... but it was so much more meaningful in the moment to me than I predicted. And it’s been resonantly more meaningful to me afterward than I ever saw coming. I’d been an adult gay person for so long at a time when that wasn’t possible that life was ‘fine,’ you know what I mean? There is an underlying thing a little buzz of something. I keep reminding myself of it. I kind of forget, and then I’m like, ‘we’re a legal thing, just like mom and dad were.'”

That’s exactly how I felt when Carlos and I got married; I mean, I knew we didn’t need to do it, but we did it because we wanted everyone to know that we were a married couple, just like our parents, and had the same desires and hopes as anyone else.

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John McCain, Arizona’s GOP Senator, on the differences between him and _____:

“He is in the business of making money and he has been successful both in television as well as Miss America and others. I was raised in a military family. I was raised in the concept and belief that duty, honor, country is the — is the lodestar for the behavior that we have to exhibit every single day.”

Well, when you’re a draft-dodging spoiled brat that’s all you know; and, sadly, that’s what the minority of us elected in 2016.

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Steve Kerr, coach of the Golden State Warriors, in response to _____’s racist un-American rants:

“How about the irony of, ‘Free speech is fine if you’re a neo-Nazi chanting hate slogans, but free speech is not allowed to kneel in protest?' No matter how many times a football player says, ‘I honor our military, but I’m protesting police brutality and racial inequality,’ it doesn’t matter. Nationalists are saying, ‘You’re disrespecting our flag.’ Well, you know what else is disrespectful to our flag? Racism. And one’s way worse than the other.”

It’s not about a flag or a song or a knee; it’s about wanting to be recognized, to be equal, to be allowed to live, to be safe from being shot dead if you get stopped while driving.

It’s about being equal, and that’s one of our founding tenets so let’s all move toward that, m’kay?

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Gregg Popovich, San Antonio Spurs head coach, on the NFL Take A Knee flap:

“Race is the elephant in the room and we all understand that. Unless it is talked about constantly, it’s not going to get better. ‘Oh, they’re talking about that again. They pulled the race card again. Why do we have to talk about that?’ Well, because it’s uncomfortable. There has to be an uncomfortable element in the discourse for anything to change, whether it’s the LGBT movement, or women’s suffrage, race, it doesn’t matter. People have to be made to feel uncomfortable, and especially white people, because we’re comfortable. We still have no clue what being born white means. And if you read some of the recent literature, you realize there really is no such thing as whiteness. We kind of made it up. That’s not my original thought, but it’s true. It’s hard to sit down and decide that, yes, it’s like you’re at the 50-meter mark in a 100-meter dash. You’ve got that kind of a lead, yes, because you were born white. You have advantage that are systemically, culturally, psychologically rare. And they’ve been built up and cemented for hundreds of years. But many people can’t look at it that way, because it’s too difficult. It can’t be something that’s on their plate on a daily basis. People want to hold their position, people want their status quo, people don’t want to give that up. Until it’s given up, it’s not going to be fixed.”

So sorry white people feel uncomfortable when a minority demands equality, or just the right not to die because of their skin color.

And not talking about it solves nothing.

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Jimmy Kimmel, on the latest death of an Obamacare repeal:

 “Thank you Senator Collins, you know Maine needs affordable healthcare more than almost any state. You know the sewers up there are filled with child-eating clowns.”

Pennywise be damned!

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It's Snarkurday!

Brad and Angie have split! Some say he was mean to the kids! Some say he cheated on La Jolie! Some say he drinks! Some say he smokes too much weed!

I say, Meh, it’s another Hollywood marriage gone belly-up. Nothing to see there.

Rabidly devout Catholic — he makes the Pope look like an atheist — Mel Gibson has gotten his new girlfriend, Rosalind Ross, who is young enough to be one of his children, pregnant with his ninth child.

He has seven children with his ex-wife, one child with an ex-girlfriend, and this soon-to-be-child with his, certainly- soon-to-be-ex-girlfriend.

He’s a fine Catholic, no?

So, remember when Mark Wahlberg, before becoming Marky Mark and then becoming Mark Wahlberg again, attacked two Vietnamese men on the same day in Boston? Well, he was 16 at the time and was charged with assault and did 45 days in jail.
  

Then two years ago, Wahlberg tried to get a pardon for his crimes and all kinds of folks were up in arms that, just because he was rich, he could have his record expunged of the crimes.

Well, that ain’t happening … a Massachusetts Parole Board spokesperson says Wahlberg never responded to a letter they sent him asking if he still wanted to keep that pardon request open and so they closed it.

And now Wahlberg is saying he doesn’t care that his pardon was dropped because, he says now, he never really wanted it in the first place … except when he was asking for it, and writing letters asking for it, and pleading to get a pardon.

The estate of Bobbi Kristina Brown sued her boyfriend-adopted-brother Nick Gordon last year for ALLEGEDLY scheming to get her money and being responsible for her death. The suit claimed Nick transferred money from Bobbi Kristina’s account to his own the day she went into a coma. Nick was also accused of injecting Bobbi Kristina with a “toxic mixture” that day.  

Nick’s lawyers called the suit “meritless,” but Nick never got to explain why because he never showed up to court … twice … and that cost him the case because, this week, Fulton County Superior Court Judge T. Jackson Bedford declared Nick Gordon legally responsible for Bobbi Kristina Brown’s death.

Just shows, y’all, show up when the law asks you to, or else.

Nick is still being investigated by the cops, but so far no charges have been filed.

It’s hard out there for pretty people … just ask Halle Berry.

I remember a few years back when Charlize Theron started the Eye Roll Heard Round The World when she cried that none of the meaty roles in movies are written for a “gorgeous, gown-wearing eight-foot model” even though she’d won an Oscar for Monster and followed up that role with Aeon Flux.

And now it’s Halle’s turn; she told a magazine recently that she didn’t want to be typecast as the pretty girl, so she purposefully went after roles where she’d have to de-glam herself.

This from the girl who started out as a model on a TV show about models called Living Dolls. Now, to be fair, her first film role was as Vivian the crack whore in Jungle Fever and she says she had to beg Spike Lee to let her audition for it.

Yes, she begged Spike to be a “crack ho” and won him over by taking off her make-up and becoming a crack whore; she then went on to beg Lee Daniels for the role in Monster’s Ball that won her an Oscar, followed that up with Catwoman and Gothika.

So, is it hard out there for beauties or hard for beauties that make stupid film choices?

In what I like to call Celebrities Acting Like High School Mean Girls, Selena Gomez recently got a new phone number and has announced that she will not give it to ex-boy-toy Justin Bieber.

Stop.The.Presses. A source — called Melena Momez — says Selena instructed everyone that got her new number “not to give it to him.”

I guess Bieber Booty Calls are over.

There are those who think it was the best thing for Tom Hiddleston to dump Taylor Swift like the whiny teenager she is, but, well, girls who write poetry and then turn them into songs that they sing off-key, might have the edge.

Yes, Swifty is said to be planning a revenge album of songs about both Hiddleston and her beau before Hiddleston, Calvin Harris.

How come when she goes for revenge the music listening public is the victim?

Julia Louis-Dreyfus won her ninth Emmy — and her fifth Best Actress Emmy in a row for Veep — last weekend and brought the audience to tears when she announced that her father, William Louis-Dreyfus, died just two days before at the age of 84.

And, in a world where people do not listen, a great many social media fools, instantly began Tweeting and Instagramming and Facebooking about the loss of Julia’s dad, Richard Dreyfuss.

And so Richard Dreyfuss took to the web to instruct this slew of morons how to Google Julia Louis-Dreyfus and find out that she isn’t his daughter.

Seriously, people.

Note to pervy guys: leave Sophia Bush alone when she’s on a plane.

Bush recently posted a statement on Twitter about the creepy encounter she had with a fellow traveler and she took him, and his ilk down:

“Dear Random Dude on a Plane:

When you make a woman so visibly uncomfortable, that after you’ve ignored all visual cues to please leave her alone (one word answers, she pulls out a book, puts on a hat, she actually asks you to not speak to her with the tone and words you’re choosing to use) that she finally GETS UP and MOVES SEATS, leave her alone. Do not continue trying to make conversation.

Stop turning around and looking at her. Stop leaning out of your seat and towards her body when she has to grab something out of the overhead bin above her original seat, and sadly also above you, mid flight.

And in my case, stop believing that you are entitled to make me uncomfortable because you ‘watch my TV show’ so I owe you some magical debt. I make it, you watch it. After that, the ‘exchange’ is done. You do not get to harass me, or any woman, because you think you pay our bills.

You don’t bro, I DO.”

Suh-nap!

So, a couple of weeks back someone on a Twitter interview — a Twinterview? — asked Katy Perry if she’d ever work with Taylor Swift and Katy replied:

“Yeah, if she ever apologizes.”

That’s an allusion to the rift between the two pop tartlets over the ALLEGED embezzling by Perry of Swift backup dancers; seriously.

Don’t hold your breath, Katy, because a source — Kaylor Kwift, I’m thinking — has said that Taylor let out a snotty girl laugh at the idea of working with non-award winner Perry:

“Why would Taylor want to collaborate with someone whose latest single (“Rise“) didn’t even break the Top 10? Taylor is a ten time Grammy winner. Katy has zero Grammys.”

And Taylor has zero talent, except for being a whiny self-indulgent, self-entitled, tuneless brat.

But that describes Katy, too, right?