I Ain't One To Gossip But ...

The No Ring is a thing again. This week media whore Kim Kardastrophe went out and was photographed :::gasp::: without her wedding ring, signaling that maybe she and Krazy Kanye were finished.

Who cares, but … then Matt Damon was photographed without his wedding ring on for the second time in a week.

Matt has been married to Luciana Barroso  since 2005, but lately Matt has been hanging out in LA with BFF, and soon-to-be-divorced, Ben Affleck and photographed twice sans band. But is it a signal of divorce, or is it a signal that we’re in the middle of a pandemic and washing our hands a hundred times a day and sometimes we forget to put the band back on … ?

Here’s my take … Kim Kardastrophe is photographed without a ring so people will keep talking about her, while Matt gets photographed without his ring because he left it on the bathroom sink.

Media whore or human person.

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Khloé Kardastrophe is at it again.

After years of changing her face so she looks like Beyoncé or Mariah or, well, anyone but herself, she recently posted a new photo to Instagram where she looks almost exactly like … half-sister Kendall Jenner.

That’s Khloé-dall on the left and Kendall on the right. Now, I have no issue with anyone having a little Bo or a peel or a nip or a tuck, but when you change your face so completely that you look more like other people than yourself, maybe you need a rethink.

Of course, if you’re a Kardastrophe, it’s all about the attention, so …

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My BFF—mostly because she loathes GOOP as much as me—Martha Stewart recently got her COVID-19 vaccine, normally reserved for front line workers and essential-type people, and the internet tried to drag her saying she pushed her way to the front of the line.

It all started when Martha posted that picture to her Instagram account, saying that she was given the COVID vaccine in an inoculation pod at the Martha Stewart Center for Living at Mount Sinai Hospital in Manhattan. But … Martha didn’t use her wealth to skip the line, she used another number … her age.

Bitch is 79, so she got the shot and y’all can get off her jock.

Now, when Paltrow gets hers …

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Um, I may have spoken too soon before, and then had to retract, so I say this with a bit of hesitation … it appears to be over, again, for My-Husband-In-My-Head, Luke Evans and boyfriend Rafael Olarra. He told the UK Times:

“It is what it is.”

But he did not elaborate on the cause of the breakup, but again, if he needs some comfort, I’m here.

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I used to like Anne Hathaway, but somewhere about the time she campaigned and begged and pleaded for an Oscar because she say a song in Les Misérables, I kinda thought she was over,

But that was then, and this is now, and now she’s really over.

Hathaway appeared on The Tonight Show recently and told Jimmy Fallon to call her Annie, instead of Anne. But it wasn’t a ‘Hey, we’re friends, call me Annie,’ because Anne Hathaway says her name has always been Annie.

Anne, sorry gurl, said that when she first started acting at 14, she needed to confirm her name for her SAG membership, and went with “Anne Hathaway” because it’s the name listed on her birth certificate … meaning it’s her name. But she says that everyone calls her Annie and hearing folks say Anne is too formal and impersonal.

Too formal and impersonal? For the last twenty-four years? She then added that only her mother calls her Anne … um, because it’s the name she gave you … and that on film sets, people will call her anything but Anne, like Annie, Miss H, or Hath.

Oh Anne, you’re just so precious to have, at age 38, decided you want to be known as Annie. And that little orphan, and the one that got her gun, were here first.

Okurrrrrrr, Anne?

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Don’t mess with Lucy.

But Aaron Sorkin is apparently making a film about Lucy and Desi called Being the Ricardo’s. And in the running for Desi is Javier Bardem, and intalks to play Lucy is Nicole Kidman.

Nicole what? Social media went nuts because no one, and I mean no one,  should be playing Lucille Ball except that powerhouse actress, that multi-award-winning actress of stage and screen … and TV … Debra Messing.

Yes, from Will & Grace.

The film is set during one production week of I Love Lucy—Monday table read through Friday audience filming—when Lucy and Desi face a crisis that could end their careers and another that could end their marriage. Originally, Sorkin was simply going to write the script, but then Cate Blanchett thought she should be Lucy and he decided he wanted to direct. But then Cate was out, and Javier and Nicki K said they were interested.

I love me some Kidman, and Javier is kinda delicious, but as Lucy and Ricky?

Cue Debra Messing and the internet, where people wondered TVs second favorite redhead shouldn’t be playing TVs first famous redhead. Rumors swirled that Messing, whose career is en feugo … I kid … was not available, and Messing, who does love to Tweet, instantly replied:

“Oh no, I’m available.”

Except … again … Variety reported that Messing had stated she would not do it:

“Like 15 years ago people would say, ‘Hey, do you want to do like a made for TV movie or something?’ And I always felt like, ‘Oh, I would not even touch that. Like she is untouchable.’"

And now Messing says:

“Ummmmmm, I changed my mind.”

Sorry, Deb, no change-sies, and, um, yeah, Nicole? One other actress, Frances Fisher, joined the fray and Tweeted out this photo of herself:

Sorry other ladies whose names I have now forgotten. Looks like we’ve found our Lucy … though as I said at the top … Don’t mess with Lucy!

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I Ain't One To Gossip But ...

The last season of rebooted Will & Grace  is about to get far less fabulous because Megan Mullally will be missing for a couple episodes due an ALLEGED feud with co-star Debra Messing. No reason why the feud, but the pair have confirmed it by doing the ghastly act of unfollowing one another on social media. Mullally has also stopped following her onscreen sidekick, Sean Hayes, but still follows Eric McCormack for some unexplainable reason.

Okay, Messing and Hayes, here’s the deal: you two are funny, but it’s Karen who makes the show. It should be called KAREN! With jack … will and grace.

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Ex-Bravo star [?] of Flipping Out, Jeff Lewis announced on his SiriusXM radio show Jeff Lewis Live, that he has hired his former maid Zoila’s sister to be his new maid.

Apparently, this counts as news? Well, maybe because Lewis’ Bravo show was canceled when he alienated every single person on the show from Zoila Chaves to Jenni Poulos to his business and life partner, and Baby Daddy, Gage Edwards, the surrogate mother for their child, and the staff at his child’s pre-school. Lewis even went after Bravo golden gay boy Andy Cohen by reading private text messages on his radio show.

Yeah, Bravo is done with Jeff Lewis, but Jeff Lewis says he’s not done with TV:

“I have talked to a couple of different networks about either a doc-series or a more formatted design show. I think when the right show with the right person comes, we’ll hopefully put something together.”

Until he goes after them and drives them away.

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So, we know that federal prosecutors have added additional charges for Lori Loughlin and Mossimo Giannulli, all part of the original scheme where they paid $500K to convince the USC admissions board that their daughters were master rowers … or smart. But, apparently Lori thinks if this mess goes to trial—she and her husband are one of the few involved in the scheme who have pled not guilty—she’ll get a Felicity Huffman Deal of eleven days in Easy Jail.

However, if Lori and Mossimo are convicted of everything, they face up to decades in prison. Now, no one thinks they would actually serve decades because … white and rich … but there could be serious fines and serious prison time … more than eleven days and less than eleven years.

But there’s more; prosecutors have emails between Mossimo and Rick Singer, leader of the scandal, where Rick tells Mossimo to get pictures of his daughters on a rowing machine to make it look legit. There is also evidence of payments and bribery, like an email between Mossimo and his accountant with an invoice for $200,000 saying:

“Good news my daughter … is in (U)SC… bad is I had to work the system.”

Oops. People magazine says Lori and Mossimo feel like this is “David versus Goliath” and that, wait for it, it’s rich and white … people excuse, that they are being scapegoated. Yeah, scapegoats. Lori has it all wrong; they might be made an ‘example’ by the feds to perhaps show people how not to get your kids into college, but a scapegoat is what Lori could use right now …

‘Look over there, it’s that guy’s fault.’

Take a seat Lori, you’ll handle prison just fine, but your Silver Fox husband might be the beauty of the cell block.

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Diddy is doing it again.

Diddy, AKA Sean John Combs, AKA Sean Combs, has changed his name almost as much as Miley Cyrus exchanges husbands and boyfriends and girlfriends. He’s been Puff Daddy, P. Diddy, Puffy, and Diddy, and even once suggested he would change it to Brother Love.

And now this … Sean John Combs now wants y’all to call him Sean Love Combs.

Wait. Is he hooking up with Jennifer Love Hewitt?

Oy. But if he wants to change it again, sometime in the future, might I suggest … drum roll …wait for it … it’s perfection … Didiot.

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Speaking of the unwashed …Cody Simpson and Miley Cyrus have been having a ball together. They’re  living together… or not; they’re getting tattooed together … or not; he cured her of her fear of dick and being bisexual … or not; and they’re both sober …or not.

But, since Miley opened her mouth last week and shoved a giant boot in it with her suggestion that she was a lesbian was due to never having had good dick, now it’s Cody’s time to share the stupid by saying he is the most romantic fulfilling adult real relationship Miley’s ever had … this week … and that previous ones were not.

Cue professional gossip hacker Lindsay Lohan who has inserted herself into this drama with claims of stolen furniture. What the what? Yes, Lindsay, fresh off her hit recording of Xanax … I kid, it was no hit … has accused Cody of stealing her sister Ali’s furniture because they dated and lived together for about a minute.

Lindsay posted, then deleted, a message of hatred toward Cody because of her sister Ali Lohan. On the finale of Masked Singer: Australia, where she works … hold for laughter … Lindsay brought up her drama with Cody:

“If it is you, we have a lot to talk about, and this is not the arena for it. I want my furniture back! Because I bought your furniture for your house in Venice!”

Seriously? Perhaps she wants the couch back because there’s a dime bag sewn into the cushions? Or perhaps because no one is talking about Lindsay Lohan and she needs to snark.

Six of one, half dozen of the other …

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It’s been a whole week and a half since a clip of Kylie Jenner waking up her daughter Stormi with a musical “Rise and shiiiiine” went viral and since she comes from That Family she is trying to trademark the words “rise and shine.”

Seriously. To be fair, we now know that Kylie, whose job is dating, getting pregnant and trademarking existing phrases, says she wants to trademark slang version of rise and shine”:

“RIIISE AND SHIIINNEE.”

I guess she really wants to trademark the fact that she can’t freaking spell.

I have opted to follow suit and will seek to trademark the phrase … ‘All Kardastrophes are idiiiiiiotttttts.’  … Followed by my newest version of Kylie-speak:

“Riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiise and shiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiine.”

I’ll make millions!

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My Two Cents: Messing and McCormack Are Setting A Dangerous Precedent

Debra Messing and Eric McCormack, Will and Grace are upset about an Emmy week fundraiser in Beverly Hills for_____ and vow to name and shame anyone who dares to show up, hoping to blacklist participants from working in Hollywood.

Messing started all this with a Tweet:

“Please print a list of all attendees please. The public has a right to know.”

And that’s fine; but then McCormack took it a step further:

“Kindly report on everyone attending this event, so the rest of us can be clear about who we don’t wanna work with. ”

That crossed a line in my book; if someone wants to support _____ they are allowed to do so; I, personally, think they’re utter morons or racists or asshats or all three, but it’s their right. And for Messing and McCormack to want to release their names and try to keep those _____ supporters from working in Hollywood smacks of the same kinds of things _____ likes to do.

Now, I do think the _____ supporters need to step out into the light and show themselves, but not so they can be blacklisted, but so we, the public, the ones who pay their salaries, can decide if we want to continue to support them.

Or not. But let’s not start blacklisting people … again.

And let’s think on this … what if _____ wins in 2020? And what if he decides that people who don’t support him should be blacklisted? Is that the way we’ll be doing things from now on? I am all for knowing who is publicly supporting_____, but not so we, or people like Messing and McCormack, or _____, can decide who works in Hollywood and who doesn’t.

McCarthyism cuts both ways.

I Didn't Say It ...

_____, having a meltdown at his press conference about the midterms after CNN’s Jim Acosta asked about his racist fearmongering ad about the caravan:

“That’s enough. That’s enough … Put down the mic …I ’ll tell you what. CNN should be ashamed of itself having you working for them. You are a rude, terrible person. You shouldn’t be working for CNN. You’re a very rude person. The way you treat Sarah Huckabee is horrible. And the way you treat other people are horrible. You shouldn’t treat people that way.”

Pot.Kettle.STFU. You clinking clanking clacking collection of caliginous junk.

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Jason Blum, producer of Get Out, being removed from L.A.’s Israel Film Festival stage after criticizing _____:

“The great thing about this country is that you can like _____, but I don’t have to, and I can say what I feel about it — and I don’t like it! As you can see from this auditorium, it’s the end of civil discourse. We have a president who calls the press the enemy of the people. Thanks to our president, anti-Semitism is on the rise.”

He’s absolutely right. Just look at _____’s presser this week and his pissy little boy meltdown.

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Chuck Schumer, calling _____ “delusional” for claiming victory in the midterms:

“When the president says what happened in the Senate more than undoes the losses they suffered across the board elsewhere, he’s delusional. If we had told you a year ago we were only going to lose two or three seats, people would have said forget it, what are you smoking?”

How you can call it a victory when you went form controlling both Houses of Congress to just controlling one is delusional!

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Seth Meyers, on the Blue Ripple and Kim Davis:

“If you’ve been in the desert for two years, a little splash of water feels like a damn tsunami. [But] the Senate is on a different planet. That’s why Ted Cruz looked like he burst out of someone’s chest. [And] in a huge victory, Kim Davis … lost her reelection bid. And fun fact. Her opponent was a gay wedding cake!”

It may have been a Blue Ripple, but ripples have a long-lasting effect.

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Tass Rushan, a FIFA European Champion pro gamer, on being banned from competing after calling an opponent a “fag”:

“It’s a very unfortunate, unintentional misunderstanding from my end. Due to where I’ve been brought up, the connotation of that word from my perspective until now, it was just another word for prick or idiot. Not even one per cent of me knew it had any type of derogatory connotation towards homosexuality at all. First of all, if I knew it did, there is no way I’m saying anything like that. I would never say anything like that, trust me. I think some of you guys could back me up on this. Who’s from London? Did you know that word had that connotation?”

Nice try homophobe, but in 2018 anyone who says they don’t know that fag is a derogatory term is full of the shiz.

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John Legend, on trying to talk sense into Kanye—Good luck with that—after Yeezy boarded the _____ train:

“I understand what Kanye sees in _____ and I think it’s a reaction to his personality and his marketing panache and don’t-give-a-fuckness. But my point to him was that when you wear that hat, when you appear to be endorsing him, you’re endorsing his policies as well, all of his rhetoric and not just the parts you like. I think we had to talk about it, because we didn’t want people to be deceived into following his line of thought without considering the full ramifications.”

Gosh John, you might have used a few less polysyllabic words so Kanye could understand he’s an idiot endorsing an idiot.

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Pamela Anderson, who says she was molested and victimized as a child, now says the #MeToo movement is trash:

“I think this feminism can go too far. I’m a feminist, but I think that this third wave of feminism is a bore. I think it paralyzes men, I think this #MeToo movement is a bit too much for me. I’m sorry, I’ll probably get killed for saying that.”

You’ll just probably get taken to task for trying to explain away other women’s stories of sexual assault as a ‘bore.’

Look, Pammy, your fifteen minutes is up, so why don’t you just sit quietly until we call for you again.

Oh, and we won’t be calling.

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Debra Messing, Will & Grace, blasting NBC for airing that racist _____ ad:

“To Will& Grace fans—I want you to know that I am ashamed that my network aired this disgusting racist ad. It is the antithesis of everything I personally believe in, and what, I believe, our show is all about.”

It was a disgusting ad, so much so that even Fox refused to air it. And after Messing’s comment, NBC decided to stop running it, too.

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Zach Wahls, gained notoriety back in 2011 when he gave an emotional speech about his two moms, on winning his race for Iowa Senate District 37:

“I hope tonight marks a fresh start for Iowa. We must all come together to bring real reform to our health care system, restore a tradition of excellence to our public education system, and raise incomes for Iowa’s working families. It’s time to start thinking about the future of our state again, which is why I’m so proud of and thankful for all the young people in high school and college who propelled our campaign across the finish line.”

Sadly, Iowa also reelected racist Steve King, but maybe with Zach Wahls around they’ll get the picture that hate is not what’s best of Iowa, or anyone.

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I Didn't Say It ...

Anderson Cooper, taking on Junior for his Tweet Cooper’s coverage Hurricane Florence wasn’t truthful:

“I debated whether I should even respond tonight to the president’s son. I know he considers himself an outdoorsman and pays a lot of money to be led to wildlife in Africa that he then kills. But I’m not sure if he’s actually been to a hurricane or a flood. I didn’t see him down in North Carolina over the last few days helping out, lending a hand, but I’m sure he was doing something important besides just tweeting lies.”

He was schtupping his mistress, getting an oily spray tan, and, from the looks of it, eating carbs.

Oh, and Lie Tweeting, too.

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Michael Moore, filmmaker, on _____:

“I think that we have someone in the White House who has no respect for the rule of law, who dislikes democracy by an incredible degree, which doesn’t make him really any that much different from other billionaires or CEOs because their businesses are not democracies. They rule by fiat. They decide, they make the calls and they don’t like anybody else having a say. They also like to take home the bulk of the money, with them. So this is — putting somebody like that in charge of a democracy is a very dangerous thing, and especially, it’s more dangerous with him because he has a complete lack of ideology.”

And so ........ Vote, dammit!

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Susan Sarandon, on what grade she’d give _____ for his performance so far:

“Oh my God, I would tell him to just start all over again. I don’t think we can grade him. I think what he’s done that is the most significant, is that by no … unintentionally he has energized …. Um … he is so bumbling. He’s like a character out of a cartoon or something that you can’t not be aware of what’s going on now. And Bernie Sanders proved that you can run without taking dark money, without taking PAC money. And so you see an enormous amount of people that are using that and are running and winning … like 40 percent more women are running for office and becoming elected … This is a revolution. It may not seem like one … Maybe things had to get so bad before real change actually could happen.”

Since I believe that Sarndon helped _____ get eected by publicly denouncing Hillary Clinton and then either not voting or casting a third party vote, I think she should kindly go f**k herself.

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Debra Messing, no fan of Sarandon’s, in response:

“STFU SUSAN. Oh yes, PLEASE let’s give _____ CREDIT. I mean how else are you able to walk out on the street. Convince yourself that that this CATASTROPHE of a President who you said was better that HRC IS NOT ripping children away from parents seeking asylum, holding children INDEFINITELY in internment camps with their new policy, DESTROYING all attempts to protect our environment … endangered animals, taking away women’s ACCESS to health care and legal abortion, trying to block POC from Voting with extreme Judges who will support jerrymandering (sic) efforts, not to mention destroying ALL good will and allied relationships across the Globe. Oh, and lest you forget Syria, Crimea, and putting PRO-RUSSIA agenda BEFORE the United States best interests. YES, do go on. And LAUD the effect Trump has had. Out of DESPERATION & PANIC for the DESTRUCTION of the Soul of our country. But you don’t want to look at THAT part of the equation. Because then you’d have to admit you were dead WRONG running around bellowing that HRC was more dangerous than _____. Only a self righteous, narcissist would continue to spout off and not—in the face of Americans’ pain and agony—be contrite and apologize for your part in this catastrophe. But, you do you Susan.”

Suh-nap.

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Beto O’Rourke, running for US Senate form Texas against Ted Cruz, on The Wall and immigration:

“We don’t need walls. We can have smart security solutions … People are coming out at this moment of truth. They’re going to help us decide as a country, are we a nation of walls? Will we ban all Muslims or all people of one religion? Will we describe the press as the ‘enemy of the people’? Will we take kids away from their parents when they’re trying to claim asylum, fleeing from the most brutal countries in this hemisphere, if not the planet?”

And there is a pretty good chance that Texas will choose Beto over Ted.

Finally, some good news out of the Lonestar State?

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Steve Negron, New Hampshire GOP House nominee, on his support for gay conversion therapy, AKA “ex-gay” torture:

“I did not vote for that. I believe that’s something that, when you look at these young children that are trying to make a decision, and I remember when I was 15-16 I was confused, I had a lot of options in my life. I think we need to be able to help them understand what it is, give them the right information, and let them get the treatment that they need to understand what the situation is, and I think the parents have a huge role in that as well.”

By forcing them to live a life contrary to their true selves because you were uncomfortable as a teen?

Siddown asshat.

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I Didn't Say It ...

Patti LuPone, who won a Tony playing Evita on Broadway, on Madonna’s movie version of the character:

“I was on the treadmill when MTV used to have videos, and I saw, I believe it was “Buenos Aires”, and I thought it was a piece of sh*t. Madonna is a movie killer. She’s dead behind the eyes. She cannot act her way out of a paper bag. She should not be on film or on stage. She is a wonderful performer for what she does but she is not an actress. Bing.”

I swear, if I’d needed another reason to adore LuPone, this would be it.

But ... she’s always been fabulous, will always be fabulous, and this only adds to the fabulosity!

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Bill Maher, on Real Time, about liberals who compared _____ to Hillary Clinton:

“If Hillary was president now, would we be turning the clock back on the one issue for which there is no more time, climate change? Would we be having to wonder if our president’s love of dictators foreshadows some kind of coup here? Would anyone have to wonder if she was Putin’s bitch? And instead of trying to kick millions off health care to pay for a tax cut for herself, she’d be trying to raise her own taxes to get more people covered. Do you really think if just-as-evil-Hillary had been elected conservatives would now be in control of the Supreme Court as they will for decades? Just wait until the 5-to-4 decisions start rolling in gutting unions, making it harder for minorities to vote, siding with polluters, overturning abortion rights, then maybe you’ll join me in saying to the liberal purists: ‘Go f-k yourselves with the locally grown organic cucumber.' This isn’t about reliving the last election or my great love for Clinton, which never was, but this is about winning the next election, and that begins with learning the difference between an imperfect friend and a deadly enemy.”

Are you listening, Susan Sarandon? you used to spew the bile that Hillary would have been just as bad; still think so?

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Debra Messing, on _____ and Complicit:

"To paraphrase Charles Dickens, this year has sucked. Our democracy and humanity have been under attack. Unless you are an unenlightened straight CIS gender white male, you are a target. That makes us all a target. Right now there is a very bad and very orange man in our White House. At least a few days a month. The person we shall not name came this close to signing an executive order that legally allows for discrimination against the LGBT community under the banner of religious freedom. Raise your voice, call the White House, call your representatives, call your Senators. Don’t get discouraged, the resistance has accomplished more in the first 100 days than the President has in his. And we got pussy hats out of it so there. Make no mistake, when we make noise, they pay attention … There is someone I would like to make a direct appeal to ... the Secretary of State Ivanka Trump. Ivanka, girlfriend, what are you doing? Come on, it’s me Deb. Let’s talk for a second one Jewish mother to another. It is not enough to simply say that women’s issues are important to you. It’s time to do something. Ivanka, you can change the lives of millions of women and children just by telling your dad stories about real people who are suffering. Don’t let him separate immigrant mothers from their American-born children. Don’t let him take healthcare from women who need it … Ivanka please stop blindly defending your father and start defending what you say you believe in. You can’t just write #womenwhowork and think you’re advancing feminism. You need to be a woman who does good work ... Imagine how you’ll feel sitting at Passover Seder if you can tell your children that you fought for justice and freedom.”

But, sadly, Complicit is too locked into greed and family to care about anyone but Daddy.

I once liked her; now she can go f**k herself, and when Daddy falls from grace I hope he takes her down with him.

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Rick Brattin, a Republican ... because, of course ... Missouri legislator, arguing against adding sexual orientation to an anti-discrimination bill because ... the Bible:

“When you look at the tenets of religion, of the Bible, of the Qu’ran, of other religions, there is a distinction between homosexuality and just being a human being.”

Yup; there’s gay folks, then there’s human beings.

But, and I know you can’t judge a book by its cover—and this is just me being snarky—but Brattin looks like a Friend of Dorothy himself ... like he could have a show on Bravo ... like he has RuPaul’s Drag Race set to the DVR ... he looks queer, dear.

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