I Ain't One To Gossip, But........

I loves me some Real Housewives of Beverly Hills.

Mainly because, after watching this season, and knowing that Camille Grammer was dumped by her husband, A-list [her words] star Kelsey Grammer, i wanted to see her knocked off the pedestal she built for herself out of solid gold and discarded silicone implants. And, because after watching this season while Camille talks about being very very wealthy, and owning seven, or is it eight homes, and having four nannies to care for her two children, and how she is on a different social level than her castmates, I know that before the last episode airs, all those pronouncements will be meaningless because Kelsey will have cut her loose.

I loves me some bitch smackdown.

But, it gets even better, because now, ALLEGEDLY, there is evidence that Mrs. Kelsey Grammer has a porn past. I mean, in addition to being a former stripper. See, ALLEGEDLY, there are pictures and comments about her not-so-flattering past floating around the Internet, and the culprits doing all the talk about Porn Camille, and Stripper Camille?

Her castmates on TRHoBN!

Dee-lish.

A source, and by source, I mean, one of Camille's former porn producers, or costars, says: "The Housewives discovered soft porn pictures of Camille online and sent the links to everybody they know." Emails entitled, "The Morally Corrupt Camille Donnatacci Grammer."

The emails contain links to a list of her film career, um, highlights. And, while it is no secret that Camille bared her enhanced boobage for Playboy, what was a secret was her roles in some 1990s erotica like Marilyn Chambers Bedtime Stories and The Naked Detective.

Now, this may be old news, and it may be no one's business, but, I love the fact that Camille has held herself up to be a glamorous Hollywood wife, or, ahem, ex-wife, of an A-list [again, her words] star, when all the while she has this less than elegant past.

Now comes word that, in addition to having her high-powered lawyers wring as much of Kelsey's Frasier money as they can, she set her lawyers on Bravo and renegotiated her contract so that she can leave the show whenever she wants whether she fulfills her contract or not.

Camille won't make a decision until, oh, I dunno, her divorce is final and she has the fifty million and no longer needs Bravo TV.

Well, that doesn't take long.

It was about ten minutes ago that Eva Longoria Parker filed for divorce from her somewhat cheating husband Tony Parker, dropped the Parker from her name, and moved on.

And now it seems that the Desperate Housewives star is dating, and perhaps shacking up with Penelope Cruz's little brother, Eduardo Cruz.

According to sources, and by sources, I mean Teri Hatcher, the new couple spent Christmas together at Eva Longoria-No-Longer-Parker's home; and it doesn't seem like it was a one-time visit.

Teri Hatcher--okay, maybe not Teri Hatcher, but, okay, Teri Hatcher: "He's there at least three nights out of every four." Teri goes on to say that the couple shuns the limelight since Eva split from her husband just eight weeks ago. She must have been devastated because it took her an entire four weeks before she could move on.

Of course, according to Longoria's representatives, in typical Hollywood-speak, the two are "just friends."

ALLEGEDLY with benefits.

New Couple Alert!

Collagen-lipped Meg Ryan is dating John Mellencamp.

Wow! Never saw that coming.

But what's most interesting is that the duo ALLEGEDLY began dating minutes after Mellencamp announced his separation from Elaine Irwin, his wife of 18 years. It seems everyone is shocked, except Meg's close friends.

A friend, and by friend, I mean jealous neighbor with too much time on her hands, says: "Meg has liked John for a long time, and they are very comfortable together. They already looked like an old married couple when they strolled through [New York's] West Village or spent time on Martha's Vineyard."

The friend goes on to say that Ryan and Mellencamp "don't care what people say. They are in love."

In love is nice, but in love while one half of the couple is married isn't so much. Especially since Meg Ryan admitted that her ex-husband cheated on her during their marriage and how it devastated her. ALLEGEDLY, though, Meg holds herself to a different standard.
The friend, and you've got to love a friend who loves to talk about you behind your back, says: "Meg has a thing for famous men. But [John] is great with her adopted daughter [Daisy True] and has even met her son with Dennis [Jack Henry]. As far as Meg is concerned, life is too short to not grab happiness when it comes along. She has nothing to prove to anyone."

Nope, but once a cheater always a cheater, so she might want to keep an eye on Mellencamp.

And he may want to keep an eye on her.

You know, I love some Courtney Love drama.

And it seems that the wack-a-doo Miss Love has once again found herself at the center of a legal frenzy. But, since Courtney likes to go overboard, this new legal snafu is being called "groundbreaking" and just might set a legal precedent for whether celebrities--or anyone, really--can be found libel for intentionally putting untrue or defamatory statements on social networks like Twitter and Facebook.

Yup, Courtney is in trouble for Twittering. Possibly Drunk Twittering, or more likely Stoned Twittering.
Love is being sued by fashion designer Dawn Simorangkir, who says that a stream of insulting and false Tweets from Courtney's pie-Hole [See what I did there? Love is the lead singer of Hole? Pie-hole? Okay, moving on] destroyed her reputation and cost her millions in lost revenue.

Love's Tweets ALLEGEDLY named Simorangkir "a drug-pushing prostitute with a history of assault and battery who lost custody of her own child and capitalized on Love's fame before stealing from her."

Oh, Courtney! Pot.Kettle.Lunatic.

The lawsuit goes before a judge and jury in LA this month and represents the first defamation suit brought against a celebrity because of comments made on Twitter. The case is of particular importance because it will establish whether a public figure's comments on Twitter should be held to the same libel laws that apply to the news media or if tweets should be given, as defamation expert Alonzo Wickers says, "the same latitude as an op-ed piece or a letter to the editor."

Simorangkir plans to call a social media expert to the stand, and will ALLEGEDLY introduce into evidence e-mails and recorded phone calls made by Love which prove Courtney felt remorse about the tweets and knew what she was doing was wrong.

Love, of course, says she didn't do anything wrong, and that she was just repeating things Simorangkir had said to her. I know how that goes; may is the time I've said to a friend that I'm a "drug-pushing prostitute with a history of assault and battery who lost custody of my own child and capitalized on Love's fame before I stole from her."

Yeah, I ought to stop doing that.

TLC is rapidly proving itself to be the spot where television goes to die.

The home to media-whore and bad mother Kate Gosselin, and the home to paid political commercial for Mama Grizzly Bore's political future, has now become home to a reality show featuring ALLEGED crystal meth head, and certifiable homosexual and pastor fallen from grace, Ted Haggard's new reality show.

Really TLC? Gosselin? Palin? Haggard? Is there no end to the bottom of your barrel?

Apparently not, because disgraced evangelist Ted Haggard, who lost his mega-church-money-machine following a male prostitute and crystal meth-fueled scandal, has scored a one-hour reality special on TLC.

Called Ted Haggard: Scandalous.

The show will ALLEGEDLY show how the pastor and his family rebuilt their lives since his epic fall from a meth high, and a male massage table back in '06. And it will, forgive me for laughing, and throwing up a little, serve as a public relations device and document his announcement of a new ministry in Colorado Springs.

Straight out of Ted Haggard's male-genitalia-loving mouth: "My family and I endured the darkest hours imaginable in the public spotlight, and have spent the last four years fighting and struggling to rebuild our lives, our faith and our family."

And what better way to complete our healing than sell ourselves on TV!

I Ain't One To Gossip, But......

Earlier this month, "actress" Jessica Alba made headlines when she said in an interview that "good actors never use [scripts]."

Now, I know what you're thinking. This means Jessica Alba uses scripts all the time. Well, she ought to, because more of the interview has been released and Alba is making no friends anywhere at all in Hollywood.

Jessica Alba admits that she contemplated quitting acting during the filming of 'Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer': "[The director told me] 'It looks too real. It looks too painful. Can you be prettier when you cry? Cry pretty, Jessica.' He was like, 'Don't do that thing with your face. Just make it flat. We can CGI the tears in.'"

See, since the director wanted to computer-generate Alba's tears, it started her thinking "Am I not good enough? Are my instincts and my emotions not good enough? Do people hate them so much that they don't want me to be a person? Am I not allowed to be a person in my work? And so I just said, 'F**k it. I don't care about this business anymore.'"

Should'a continued along that line of thought and just walked away, perhaps to a job more suited to your talents, like a cocktail waitress or pretty secretary.

But Alba doesn't take the blame for her bad acting, or her bad movies, saying the only reason her movies, um, underperform at the box office is: "First-time directors."

First writers, now directors. Good luck finding work.

Oh Courtney.

Drunk. Nekkid. Now this.

A celebrity jeweler says Courtney Love hasn't returned nearly $114,000 worth of borrowed baubles, and he is suing to get them back.

Love ALLEGEDLY borrowed two white gold and diamond chains, a white gold, floral-design mesh bracelet and a pair of white gold and diamond pave hoop earrings at the end of September. Or, so says Jacob & Co., who filed a lawsuit this week, saying she only returned the bracelet, despite demands for the other pieces.

Courtney has ALLEGEDLY indicated to the jeweler that she lost the other items, but their agreement specified that she was responsible for them "regardless of loss or damage."

Well.......yeah.

The lawsuit seeks the gems or their $113,700 value.

Poor Courtney, but I guess when you get high and take off all your clothes, the jewels come off, too.

Oh, Mama Grizzly Bore. Take a little time off from the publicity tour that is your life and try being a parent, before you become a grandma again. Or visit your daughter in prison.

It seems that Life & Style magazine has some exclusive interviews with some of homophobe Willow Palin's former friends that suggest that the The Life & Times Of Willow Palin reads almost like a page out of Lindsay Lohan's biography.

According to classmates close to her, the middle Palin child ALLEGEDLY "chugged" vodka at the tender age of 15, as well as took part in a 1 a.m. drug deal!

Last Christmas, according former friend--emphasis on former--Lance Nezaticky, Willow was spotted in the deserted parking lot of a Target store at 1AM with a man who invited the Palin teen into his car where he ALLEGEDLY sold her over $20 worth of marijuana to the teen.

Nezaticky insists the story is true, and claims that Willow bought "really great stuff."

Okay, so the word of one former friend doesn't mean much, unless.....

Another former friend, Matt Scott ALLEGES that he saw similar destructive behavior out of Willow. His story's just a little more believable, as he claims that he saw her at a house party drinking with friends--although he calls it bingeing: “I saw her drinking from a bottle of Monarch. She was chugging it pretty hard. She was like, ‘I just want to drink.’”

Well, I would say who can blame her, considering the hot mess that is her family, but.....when is the Mama Grizzly Bore gonna confront these issues....or even the issue of the online Facebook bullying?

I guess it's more important that she focus on her other daughter, the unwed single mom who dances on TV.

So, how about that Eva Longoria and Tony Parker?

Tony is a big old cheater, though he claims he's just an emotional cheat. And now his friends are coming to his side saying Eva isn't quite the good little wife she's trying to portray.

A friend--and by friend, I mean someone who sat next to them one time at a restaurant--says: "Eva has been no angel, either. When they first got married, they both agreed to spend as much time with each other as possible. They knew it would be a challenge with them working in different states, but Eva's part-time taping schedule for 'Desperate Housewives' and the resources they had meant it wouldn't be that hard."

Hmmm, she works in California and he's on the road nine months a year. Yeah, no one saw this coming. As time went by, it became obvious that the couple were spending more and more time apart, with Tony in Texas and Eva in Los Angeles.
The friend--who once parked Eva's car while she got her nails done--says: "During the first year of marriage, Eva partially lived on an plane, visiting Tony the minute the director shouted 'cut' on the set of 'Housewives'. Eva didn't care about the lavish Hollywood parties she was missing or the fantastic private events she was invited to. All Eva wanted to do was be with Tony and build a life together, but things started to change as she got more and more sucked into the glamorous Hollywood lifestyle."
Both parties have filed for divorce in their home states, Eva in California and Tony in Texas.
Even in divorce they can't seem to get together.


Adult film star Capri Anderson--don't call her a prostitute because prostitutes have sex for money and adult film stars have sex for money on film--who was with Charlie Sheen the night of his nekkid breakdown at the Plaza in New York City is telling her story.

In an interview with ABC's 'Good Morning America' and 'Nightline,' Anderson says: "He was, from the beginning of the night, very loud and he had no hesitations when it came to using derogatory language or cuss words."

And still, Not-A-Prostitute, Capri went back to his room.

She continues: "Towards the latter half of the night, it got really bad. He started yelling racial slurs. But it wasn't until he put his hands around my neck that I really thought to myself, you have gotten yourself in a bad, bad situation."

Yeah, when they are loud and obnoxious and use derogatory language and racial slurs it's all fun. But as soon as the choking starts, it's time to collect your money and hit the streets.

And yet she continues to speak: "I'm not going to stand down and be completely walked over, mistreated. My whole life has been changed. I think that this story and this treatment sends a message in itself and this is clearly something that's not right. It's not right to hurt people. It's not right to scare people. It's not right to carry on with such disregard for the people around you."

I guess she wants to be treated with dignity, like she is on a movie set when a group of strange men jerk off on her.

Capri Anderson plans to file charges against Charlie Sheen for battery, assault and false imprisonment.

But Sheen's attorney, who must be on speed dial and available 24/7, says: "Ms. Capri never made any allegation of wrongful conduct on the part of Mr. Sheen the night of the incident. She has posted on her website that she was 'fine' after the incident, but if you wanted to see more of her enter the web site for money. We will defend this lawsuit vigorously and will never pay her a dime. These allegations against Mr. Sheen are completely false, and are an blatant attempt to cash in on his celebrity."

Hmmm, the drunk drug addict and the pron star. It's so hard to pick sides in stories like these.

I Ain't One To Gossip, But.......

I hate when people say bad things about my friends, and I am one to speak up when it happens. So, ALLEGEDLY, is former Who's The Boss? star Tony Danza.

Trouble is, Tony took aim at a priest in regards to his friend. And, Tony took aim at the priest during his friend's funeral.

I know!

Danza was ALLEGEDLY very tense during the November 11th ceremony memorializing writer Philip Carlo, and right in the middle of the eulogy, he, again, ALLEGEDLY out on the priest.

A witness, and by witness, I mean gravedigger, says:

"Tony, who was one of Carlo's closest friends, walked right up to the priest and said angrily, 'Excuse me, but this is not about you. It's supposed to be about my friend, and if you can't do that, maybe you should let someone else speak!'"

The priest, naturally, was visibly disturbed by Danza's outburst.

The source goes on:

"People were stunned, while the priest was visibly shaken. He tried talking about Carlo before quickly wrapping things up. Danza took over and eulogized Carlo with memories from their younger days."

I guess if you're a friend of Danza's, it's to the grave and beyond.

I hate to be cynical, but he was a professional athlete, and isn't this what they do in the off-season.

Eva Longoria Parker, soon to nix the Parker, has filed for divorce from her husband, Tony "the Cheater"Parker, amid ALLEGATIONS that he cheated on her....with the wife of a friend.

Uh huh, I know.

It seems that Eva ALLEGEDLY discovered hundreds of sexy text messages between Tony Parker and Erin Barry, the wife of Parker's former San Antonio Spurs teammate Brent Barry, and that was the straw that broke the Desperate Housewife's back.

And, while she was furious, she had apparently decided to make the announcement of their split alongside her husband, at the same press conference, but changed her mind because, as they say, "Hell hath no fury, like a woman scorned."

Eva decided to file early, leaving Tony out in the cold, facing the media. And Eva didn't stop at simply announcing the split, she was also the one who told of the ALLEGED affair.

Now, to give Tony's side, he denies any affair with Barry, though he does admit to having a textual encounter with her over and over and over again. Parker ALLEGEDLY ended his flirtation with Barry months before it became public knowledge, but Eva Longoria is still enraged.

Like I said, "Hell hath no fury......."

Michael Jackson's youngest brother, Randy, took to Twitter to rant and rage about Michael's 'first' posthumous album, which many people other than Randy, find a bit shady.

In a massive TwitStorm, Randy attacked Sony Records, the rift between the Jackson family and the executors of Michael's estate, and, most directly, the new record, 'Michael,' dropping next month.

"I became suspicious about the album, when I heard when armed guards were involved since my brother's passing, may he rest in peace. John McClain [executor of MJ's estate along with John Branca] insisted that no family members were allowed at his studio where the project was being completed. My first thought was, what are they trying to hide?"

Rumors are swirling that what is being hidden is the fact that the Michael Jackson 'recordings'are not Michael Jackson, but a sound-alike.

Randy isn't the first Jackson to express skepticism or anger over the posthumous release. LaToya Jackson--"who, as we all know, is very shy about speaking out--says: That doesn't sound like him." And then two of Michael's nephews, Tarryl and TJ, have both bashed Sony and cast doubts about the recordings.

Tarryl Tweeted: "I will not support 'Breaking News' [the ALLEGED first single] and a few others because it simply is not him. I KNOW my Uncle's voice and something's seriously wrong when you have immediate FAMILY saying it's not him. Sounding like Michael Jackson and BEING Michael Jackson are two different things."

But making money off Michael Jackson when he's dead is a whole other matter.

 

In what might have been the most shocking elimination in a show I have never seen, never will see, and yet can't seem to avoid, Brandy and dance partner Maksim Chmerkovskiy were sent home on this week, while Teatard Darling, and Mama Grizzly Bore offspring and abstinence preaching unwed single mom, Blister Palin and her partner remained.

Maksim Chmerkovskiy isn't too happy about it, and has revealed his feelings for Blister: "I felt really disappointed with Bristol. On Monday night, I found out that she went on record saying that I said something about her along the lines of, 'I don't like her because she's still here and she's not a good enough dancer.' Every time I've opened my mouth about Bristol, I've been nothing but supportive...[so] for her to come out on Monday night and totally smear my name the way she did, that's just completely uncalled for, " Chmerkovskiy also says the voting system is a bit problematic. "I definitely think that the system is flawed. I think there are a lot of problems with it. I have a lot of friends in the Philadelphia area who couldn't call at all. People here, in front of me, picked up the phone, dialed one time and it said, 'Thank you for voting. You are over your limit....' I think it's just a flawed system."

I think it's a Teatard Conspiracy to sneak the Mama Grizzly Bore into the White House on the heels of her daughter's appearance on a TV dance show.

Hey, it might happen.
And Maksim is definitely not a member of Unwed Single Mom Teatard Dancers Fan Club, because he wants Kyle Massey to win, saying:
And, he's not a Palin.

Sidenote: How come everyone talks about how much weight they lose on this show, and how they are in better shape, yet Blister seems to be getting, well, chunkier? I mean, it looks like she's readying to do The Bump.....The Baby Bump....again.

Oops. I should be careful, before her sister, the Illiterate Willow comes on here and calls me a faggot, because that's how they roll.

Oprah's found yet another way to spend her millions.
And it's going to cost her about 68 million.

It seems that the Big O has been looking for an east coast house suitable for something with an ego the size of, well, her ass, and has found it in New Jersey.

Oprah and her team of handlers took to their three cars last week and stormed a $68-million English manor-style mansion in über exclusive Alpine, New Jersey. The 30,000+ square foot home was built on the grounds of the old Frick Estate.
Oprah had her minions, and by minions I mean her husband Gayle and her beard Steadman, clear the grounds of any workers so Oprah could look through the estate without being bothered by, or setting her eyes upon, common people.
And so the Big O took the long tour of the five-story, nineteen bedroom, twelve bathroom house in piece, without fear of someone asking for an autograph, or a cupcake, because you know Oprah travels with a suitcase filled with cupcakes.
In addition to the nearly twenty bedrooms, the home features walnut and marble floors with Venetian plaster walls, a carriage house, English gardens, a library, ballroom, movie theater, tennis court, saline pool and wine cellar.
Now, you may be asking yourself, as I did, why on earth Oprah needs nineteen bedrooms.
Well, there's the master bedroom for Oprah and Gayle, the beard room for Steadman, and then the remaining seventeen bedrooms can become one guest room, and then a Pie Room, a Cake Room, a Meat Room, a Cured Meat Room, a Cheese Room, a Pastry Room.............and so on................
You know that's how Oprah rolls.