I Ain't One To Gossip But ...

As usual, it’s taken Jennifer Lopez about a nano-second to end one relationship and then start another, but the shocking thing this time is she’s gone back to old fiancé, Ben Affleck.

Yes, people, Bennifer–who split in 2004–is back together and, depending on who you ask it was either just a sudden case of ‘I forgot how much I loved you’ or a month’s long plan in JLo’s mind before she sent A-Rod packing.

Leave it to JLo to have an escape plan.

Is it true love rekindled, or is it the result of Bennifer talking to one another for months before A-Rod was canned? Did JLo break up because he’s a cheater, and did they try to fix things while JLo was “talking” to Affleck.

Or is it just more media fodder for the girl from the block who craves attention?

photo

From true love :::coughcough::: to a couple splitting up: Bill and Melinda Gates.

Although they announced their divorce last week, it’s rumored to have been in the works for a very long time. In fact, Melinda consulted with divorce lawyers for about two years before filing for divorce from Bill.

And while the couple hasn’t said what prompted the split, a former employee claims it started with Melinda’s “concern” over Bill’s dealings with convicted sex offender Jeffrey Epstein.

This thought never crossed my mind, but it certainly did cross the mind of brewella deville of Fort Kickass who called it last week!

Kudos!!

photo

Even though the Oscars were weeks ago, people are still talking about how Glenn Close lost her eighth shot at the Golden stature, and suddenly, to sone, Glenn Close is a loser. Well, Glenn has some words on that:

“Who in that category is a loser? You’re there, you’re five people honored for the work that you’ve done by your peers. What’s better than that? And I honestly feel that the press likes to have winners and losers. And then they say, ‘Who is the worst dressed?’ And, you know, ‘Who made the worst speech?’ Forget it. It’s not what it’s about. I say, fuck them!”

Y’all better stop playing with Glenn. Remember what she did to that bunny.

photo

So, one result of the pandemic was finding out that Ellen DeGeneres is not as nice as we were all lead to believe.

After her One-percenter whine about how hard it was to quarantine in one of her many mansions, people began talking about Ellen, and it wasn’t all dancing and giggles. She was called out for being cold and aloof and mean to her employees, and to some guests on her long-running talk show, and three top producers exited the production over ALLEGATIONS of a toxic work environment. For her part, Ellen says:

“When you’re a creative person, you constantly need to be challenged—and as great as this show is, and as fun as it is, it’s just not a challenge anymore.”

I guess the real challenge was trying to revamp her image … back to being nice, and it couldn’t be done. And so, at the end of next season, Ellen is over.

Dance. Off.

photo

I Ain't One To Gossip But ...

I learned a loooong time ago that you don’t fu— mess with Naomi Campbell. I mean, I still have a cell phone dent in my melon from pissing her off.

So, I pity Naomi’s ex-boyfriend, billionaire Valdislav Doronin, who left her for Knaomi-Knockoff Luo Zilin. I pity him because he is asking for all the money that he ALLEGEDLY lent to Naomi during their five years together.

Naomi and Vlad dated from 2008 to 2013, and just now, seven years later, he wants his coins back? Сука пожалуйста … Russian for, ‘Bitch, please.’ It’s a good thing that Vlad is rich, because he’s gonna need extra security now that he’s pissed off The Diva.

Vladislav filed the lawsuit against Naomi, claiming that she has refused to pay back the money he loaned her—though he cannot remember how much he gave her—and is keeping some of his “personal property” that he ALLEGES is worth about $3 million.

One thing he’s not asking to be returned is the house, in the shape of the Eye of Horus, on Cleopatra Island in Turkey that he gave her.

Vlad better keep one eye open when he sleeps because, as I said, you don’t fu— mess with Naomi.

Ev.Er.

photo

Publishing house Harper Collins is suing Lindsay Lohan for nearly $400,000, claiming the actress never delivered a manuscript for a book deal struck over six years ago.

Seriously? You gave Lohan 400K six years ago and expected her to write a book? I once gave her four bucks to read a book and I’m still waiting.

At any rate, according to the lawsuit, Lohan and her company Crossheart Productions, entered into a contract with HarperCollins in 2014 for a book that was originally due a year later. The publishing house gave Crossheart a $365,000 advance for the deal which “was given to Lohan,” but the manuscript—about her 2013 stint in rehab--never materialized, even after she was given a two-year extension on the deadline.

Oh Harper Collins, the only book Lindsay is capable of writing is how she can get a publishing house to give her nearly half-a-million dollars to write a book … and then never write it.

 And that 400K is long gone …probably in Twizzlers and vodka.

photo

Ellen DeGeneres’ talk show is premiering later this month and will apparently start the new season with Ellen trying to dig herself out of the massive hole her ego and ALLEGED meanness have gotten her into. The first show back will be September 21, without a studio audience, because we’re still in the middle of a pandemic and Ellen don’t like no Booing.

She is set, again ALLEGEDLY, to discuss the ALLEGATIONS of foul behavior of her former senior production team—Kevin Leman, Ed Glavin, and Jonathan Norman—and ALLEGATIONS that she’s a cold unfeeling shrew to her staff and crew, that she knew employees were treated like shit and did nothing about it, and that she ALLEGELY tried to save a few coins by filming the show at one of her seven LA mansions using a non-union crew.

And this all comes with the newest stories that working in one of Ellen’s many homes is also a nightmare. A source, who claims to have worked at one of Ellen and Portia de Rossi's many homes, ALLEGES that Ellen is a nightmare to work for, hyper-demanding and extremely picky. Ellen would be set off by a misplaced saltshaker, or the amount of foam in her latter, and would start each morning giving her staff a list of complaints from the previous day:

“Sometimes she would yell at us, but it was more about the incredibly condescending tone she would use. She treated you like you were nothing. She was going to torture you and you were just going to sit there and listen to it because you were being paid. Ellen was the worst person that I’ve ever met in my life. She takes pleasure in firing people. Before I took the position, people were warning me not to take it.”

It sounds like Ellen’s first show back isn’t going to be all comedy and dancing, but more apologizing and bowing and scraping.

photo

Lastly some loooong overdue Good News …

After infesting the airwaves for what feels like an eternity in Hell, but has really been Lucky 13 years, Keeping Up With The Kardastrophes is Kancelled!

Oh, don’t despair, that Klan will be back. They just realized they could make many more Koins on some streaming service and told E! to kiss their ginormous asses. I mean, c’mon, it takes a lot of money to keep them in Botox and fillers and Cher’s old Las Vegas showgirl costumes.

Plus, there’s that whole Deal with the Devil that That Woman made thirteen years back and clearly Satan has come a’callin’ for his Koins.

photo

I Ain't One To Gossip But ...

Virginia Roberts Giuffre, who has accused Prince Andrew of sexual abuse of a minor, has apparently written a book proposal titled The Billionaire’s Playboy Club in which she writes about ALLEGEDLY being brought into Jeffrey Epstein’s sex trafficking ring by Ghislaine Maxwell. Virginia has also ALLEGED that she was trafficked to Prince Andrew—a claim he denies—many, many times, and in her book proposal shares a particularly creepy tale.

Virginia claims that around Easter in 2001—when she was seventeen—Ghislaine called her to Epstein’s Manhattan townhouse. When she arrived Prince Andrew was present, and Ghislaine ALLEGEDLY plopped Virginia down on the Royal Lap, at which point Andrew pulled out his … puppet, a likeness of himself, from the 1980’s British satirical puppet show Spitting Image. Virginia writes:

“Andrew cupped my breast with a doll made in his image, I only giggled away. Ghislaine wanted to take a picture of the bizarre scene and even got Johanna [Sjoberg], another one of Jeffrey’s so-called personal assistants to come sit on his other knee for the snapshot.”

In a 2016 deposition as part of Giuffre’s since-settled defamation lawsuit against Maxwell, Sjoberg testified that she “sat on Andrew’s lap … they took the puppet’s hands and put it on Virginia’s breast, and so Andrew put his [hand] on mine.”

Virginia says that after Andrew was done joking around with his mini-me, they ALLEGEDLY headed down to the massage room.

Prince Andrew hasn’t responded to Virginia’s puppet allegation but may be trying to locate the puppet and have it arrested for groping since, it seems, it was the puppet who grabbed Virginia’s breast.

photo

Victoria and David Beckham have gone country, y’all, and the locals are none too happy. The Beckhams traded in Beverly Hills for the Cotswolds in England and seem to be on the verge of becoming the UK version of Green Acres! Except for, in this reboot, the neighbors don’t like them!

The Beckhams have been quarantining at their $7.83 million country home, about two hours outside of London, that has been officially designated an Area of Outstanding Natural Beauty [AONB]. But then the Beckhams decided to renovate the nine-bedroom “cottage” to include an underground tunnel to a wine cellar and then another underground tunnel to a “super” garage. They have also installed a “privacy” hill, a sauna, a jetty and began digging a large swimmable pond.

And one local resident, Michael Douglas—not that Michael Douglas—have gone too far:

“What they appear to want is to bring suburbia into the countryside, if they had wanted all they have applied for why not find an estate which was big enough to accommodate all of this.”

Other locals are cringing at how tacky the Beckham’s property has become, calling it monstrous and saying the tunnels and ponds and man-made “privacy” hills could have an impact on the water table, which is a big issue.

The Beckhams 300-foot-wide swimmin’ hole  could affect a local critter called the Great Crested Newt. Neighbors says that any fish the Beckham’s dump into their pond might eat the newt’s larva, which means no more newts. In addition, the Beckhams want to light up the pool, er, pond, er poolond, even though local regulations prevent the use of spotlights because the light confuses local bats. The locals also want the Beckhams to dig holes under the pond, for hedgehogs, which are native to the area.

But the Beckhams clearly hate newts and bats and hedgehogs. Oh my.

photo

We don’t hear much about Heather Locklear unless she’s drunk and out of control and assaulting police officers or her boyfriend, so this is a nice surprise.

Heather claims to have had a “gross” encounter with actor James Naughton in 1996 while filming :

“There was a couple of scenes that they [cut me out of] and then the only scene [I ended up in] had no lines. And one of the actors [Naughton, who played her husband], we were at a funeral, and he was supposed to take his hand and touch my breast. [But] he actually touched more … Gross. So, I [told the producers], ‘Can you just take my name off the credits since now I don’t have any lines?’ So, it was creditless.”

Locklear says that Naughton, instead of grabbing her breast, actually outlined her areola with his finger:

“I was like [gasps] and I’m so glad they’re following his hand down [with the camera] because my face, my mouth is fallen open and I can’t believe it and don’t do it again. One take and let’s go.”

Naughton  has refuted Locklear’s claim, saying that he was indeed following the script; his spokesman said:

“James remembers shooting this scene as written in the script. He completely understands that Heather would have felt uncomfortable shooting this scene, as he felt uncomfortable as well.”

The spokesman then issues a page from the film’s script, dated December 9, 1995, which stated:

“Despite the grave facade, we see that Gil is subtly using his finger to feel Mary’s breast. Mary smiles at him shyly.”

Huh; maybe Heather didn’t read any of the script other than her lines?

photo

Ellen DeGeneres has had an awful summer; she has been called out of touch with the difficulties of the pandemic—whining about being stuck in one of her many mansions—and was dubbed a monster boss by employees—though, to be fair, it might just be the employees Ellen stopped paying after Covid struck. In addition, show is getting the internal investigation treatment for how toxic it ALLEGEDLY is behind the scenes while Ellen is all giggles and smiles and dance moves in front of the camera.

And now this … Australian radio host Neil Breen is sharing his Ellen story about her visit to Australia’s Today Show. It had been planned that Ellen would appear on the show and engage in a multitude of on-air tasks, but after a series of changes it would be just an appearance and interview by Australian journalist Richard Wilkins. After traveling to Melbourne at their own expense to conduct the interview, Neil and his team learned quickly that it wasn’t going to be an enjoyable experience. During a segment of his radio show 4BC Breakfast with Neil Breen he stated.

“Because it’s the Ellen show, they controlled everything. They controlled the interview seats, the lights, how it would work, everything. The producers called us aside and said, ‘This is how it’s going to work here this morning. Ellen’s going to arrive at 10:15, and she’ll be sitting in this chair. And Richard, you’ll be sitting in this chair here. Neil, no one’s to talk to Ellen. You don’t talk to her, you don’t approach her, you don’t look at her. She’ll come in, she’ll sit down, she’ll talk to Richard, then Ellen will leave.’”

Neil Breen does admit that it was mainly Ellen’s team making the demands and not Ellen herself, but:

“I didn’t get to talk to her. I wasn’t allowed to. I don’t know if she’s a nice person or not. I wouldn’t have a clue. But I can tell you, the people who worked with her walked on eggshells the whole time.”

And Ellen’s Summer Turned Fall From Grace continues … she has issued a faux-pology where she seems to blame her staff for people thinking she’s a tyrant … some celebrities, like actor-comedian Brad Garrett, are suggesting that the stories of Ellen’s giant ego are true … and there’s that whole investigation into sexual misconduct by some of her producers.

Ain’t too much dancing, eh, Ellen?

photo

I Ain't One To Gossip But ...

I guess when the nice lady gets pushed, she suggests maybe she should change.

After her season of discontent—a Twitter user urged people to post nasty stories about her and then she did her show from home and compared it to being in prison—Ellen DeGeneres is trying hard to shove her image back to likability, and stepped in it badly when she tried to show compassion for the murder of George Floyd by tossing a Palinesque word salad Tweet:

“For things to change, things must change.” 

And when the backlash ensued, Ellen deleted that idiotic fluff Tweet and said she will do and say more to help the Black Lives Matter movement and become a more useful ally:

“I stand with the protestors who are exercising their rights and I want to be an ally fighting for change. As a white person, I don’t always know what to say. I think right now white people have to just sit in our discomfort and we have to admit there’s a lot we don’t know about black people’s lives and about a black person’s experience. There is horrible injustice towards black people that has been ignored for far too long. I like to think that I’m doing my best, but I think it’s time that we have to look at ourselves and we have to say we have not done enough. I want to learn how to be a better person, how to do better. I was the dancing lady for a little while and now I want to help educate my audience. I want to educate myself.”

Nice Ellen, but you forgot you’re a rich white person, so that makes you less like even white people in this country. You at a protest would probably get an escort out of the march, while if I was at the same protest I might be bludgeoned by the police.

What I’m  saying, El, is less talk, and more action. Words are meaningless unless you actually do something.

photo

Even though Lori Loughlin pleaded guilty to being a horrible mother trying to bribe her kid’s way into a good college, she’s not giving up on coming back to TV …as an actress and not a defendant.

Lori and her husband Mossimo Giannulli finally pleaded guilty for their involvement in the College Admissions Scandal, in which they paid $500,000 to Rick Singer to get their nearly illiterate daughters. Lori took a plea of two months in prison, while Mossimo agreed to five, and if a judge signs off on the plea deal, Lori must pay a $150,000 fine, do two years of supervised release, and 100 hours of community service, while Mossimo must pay $250,000, serve two years of supervised release, and complete 250 hours of community service.

But after that Lori wants to get back to acting. I think a good place to start would be Lori Loughlin “acting” like she felt remorse for being a terrible parent, a horrible human being, and a despicable self-entitled ass.

But that’s just me.

photo

After Faith Stowers called out the racism she experienced while working Vanderpump Rules, Bravo was forced to take action and fired four cast members over a plethora of racist behavior and tweets and stupid, stupid comments.

Gone are longtime reality show idiots Stassi Schroeder and Kristen Doute, along with newcomers Max Boyens, and Brett Caprioni. Kristen and Stassi were the original members called out—Stassi had a long and recorded history of racist talk—but Max and Brett faced backlash for their own racism-is-funny-until-I-get-caught-and-then-I-havepretend-remorse tweets earlier in the season of the show.

Faith said she felt “vindicated” by the action, but it seems she’s not done trying to clean house; she also wants VPR’s manwhore, Jax Taylor, fired , too:

“I didn’t even know the depth of the crazy things that they were saying [but] I got DMs from other shows, from other females on other shows saying that Mr. Taylor had said some crazy things to them that were racial. So, I think he gets a pat on the back a lot. But I think that if you’re going to do it for [four] people, they should do it for some other people as well.”

Billie Lee, who used to appear on VPR, has already called for Taylor’s firing saying that he refused to work with her because she’s trans.

So, racist and transphobic, a manwhore, and a basic douchebag; not all fireable offenses but …

photo 1 photo 2 photo 3 photo 4 photo 5 photo 6

Last week Justin Bieber crapped out a statement in which he apologized co-opting black culture as his own, um, musical style. But is that the only time Justin used the black community to push himself ahead?

Not according to one Lil Twist, AKA Christopher Lynn Moore, who was a member of Bieber‘s posse ten years back. This week, Twist revealed that while he was rolling with The Biebs, he was used by Justin’s management team to take the fall for drug charges.

Appearing on Mina SayWhat’s podcast Mina’s House, Twist says that Justin’s team was awful to him, and that he “took that heat” for weed charges:

“If they would have put weed charges on Justin in his early career. It would have been bad on him. So, I got a call one day saying, 'Twist, do you really love this kid?' I said, 'Yes.' They said, 'Cool, if you love him then you can take the heat for him because you can come off a little weed charge. You’re associated with Lil Wayne. You’re a rapper.'”

And so, he did it because, well, clearly, he’s a moron. Twist was arrested in 2013 twice while in Justin’s cars and also ALLEGEDLY had a huge weed-filled party at Justin’s mansion; he even says that sometimes he wouldn’t even be at the scene of the crime and would still get blamed:

“It got to a point where I didn’t even have to be there at times and they were putting it, ‘Twist did it, Twist did it, Twist did it,’… It became overwhelming.”

A source—and it’s possibly Justin, co-opting another friend—says Justin doesn’t remember doing anything of the sort:

“Justin and Twist don’t have a relationship anymore, Justin wishes Twist well and finds these comments unfortunate and completely untrue.”

I’m kinda Team Lil Twist, because Lil Justin seems like a Lil Liar.

photo

I can’t believe it, but it appears that Hell has finally frozen over:

After several in the fashion biz, most notably Andre Leon Talley, called out Anna Wintour for being a bitch and perhaps even a racist, Anna … Wintour … is … apologizing in a note sent out to staff last week:

“I want to start by acknowledging your feelings and expressing my empathy towards what so many of you are going through: sadness, hurt, and anger too.”

And stop. Anna Wintour and empathy go together like Chanel and Crocs, but:

“I want to say this especially to the Black members of our team — I can only imagine what these days have been like.”

And stop, because, like Ellen, a rich white powerful woman knows what it’s like to be black. No, Anna, you cannot imagine, but:

“But I also know that the hurt, and violence, and injustice we’re seeing and talking about have been around for a long time. Recognizing it and doing something about it is overdue.”

And stop; but then, if you know it’s overdue, why haven’t you done something before now? Oh, because you, and Vogue apparently have a history of not promoting, hiring, helping black employees:

“I want to say plainly that I know Vogue has not found enough ways to elevate and give space to Black editors, writers, photographers, designers and other creators. We have made mistakes too, publishing images or stories that have been hurtful or intolerant. I take full responsibility for those mistakes. It can’t be easy to be a Black employee at Vogue, and there are too few of you. I know that it is not enough to say we will do better, but we will—and please know that I value your voices and responses as we move forward. I am listening and would like to hear your feedback and your advice if you would like to share either.”

But please go through proper channels because, well, Anna can’t make room for just anyone with a complaint.

photo

I Ain't One To Gossip But ...

Y’all know that the talk show hosts have been doing their shows from home these days, right? Well, one talk show host, the chic and stunning and impeccably mannered Wendy Williams is pissed at all of them.

In a recent interview with CNN—sinking low—Wendy shared some of her deepest nonsensical thoughts about how she’s managing to cope so beautifully as a remote entertainer … which is odd given she’s not even remotely entertaining. Still, Wendy had some doubts about doing her show hot mess from home because she calls it her ‘scared space,’ but when other hosts began doing the show-from-home thing she wasn’t happy with how their homes looked:

“Looking disgusting. I’m just saying.”

Wendy goes one step further by saying she’s better at this ‘from home’ stuff because she spent years on the radio; now, to be fair, she has a face made for radio.

“If it wasn’t for radio, I could not do this quarantine thing from home properly. I’ve so enjoyed this 11, going on 12, years of doing the talk show with the studio and hundreds of people and clapping…”

Hundreds of people? Counting is hard.

“I’ve so enjoyed that, but it is much easier for me as a host to be here at home, with no audience, because it’s always been about description. You know, I’ve been a radio host longer than I’ve been a TV host, so yes, right. Thank God for radio.”

Yes, because the less people see you, the better. Now, here’s another thought, trying doing a Silent Movie style radio show. I think that works for all of us. I’m just saying.

photo

It’s a One-Percent world and the rest of us are just trying to hang on.

David and Victoria Beckham are ALLEGEDLY worth $500 million dollars, but even the wealthiest of us need government assistance … right before we spend $20 million on a luxury Miami penthouse.

It seems that millionaire fashion “designer” Victoria Beckham asked for a British government handout during the pandemic to help furlough the employees of her fashion brand, and then plunked down $20 million on a new home.

Yup, Victoria’s fashion brand took $185,000 in government assistance over the span of two months to assist in paying her employees while she then wrote a check for $20 million. Like I said, it’s a One-Percent world. Still, to be fair, when word broke that Vicki went on the dole and then bought a penthouse, she declared she’d stop taking government assistance.

How big of her.

photo

Speaking of self-entitled media whores … Khloe Kardastrophe.

Despite the fact that toilet paper is one of the most scarce commodities in the pandemic, Khloe-Seeking-Attention, and her nephew Mason Disick, decided to TP Kourtney Kardastrophe’s house and then filmed it and put it all over social media because, again, it’s a One Percent world—though in this case I mean people whose brains only fire 1% of the time.

Here are some people responding to the stupidity that is all things Kardastrophe:

“Not that you care, @khloekardashian & @kourtneykardash, but my family had to use McDonald’s napkins for toilet paper last month. Congrats on being worthy of so much more than the rest of us that you didn’t think twice before posting your TP ‘prank’”

“khloe kardashian deciding to teepee kourtneys house with rolls of toilet paper just shows obnoxious & selfish rich people are even during a pandemic”

“Stores are limiting 1 pack of toilet paper per customer (when there’s any in stock). Meanwhile Khloe Kardashian is TPing her sister’s mansion”

Talk about self-entitled media whores out of touch. Better yet, don’t.

photo

As you all definitely know, presidential candidate Joe Biden has been accused of sexual assault by former Senate aide Tara Reade and, while some people get Tara Reade-with-an-E-at -the-end confused with aging starlet, former bad girl—pre-Lohan—and Shaknado “star” Tara Reid, Tara-no-E-at-the-end is out to capitalize on it.

Yes, capitalize on a sexual assault allegation.

Tara Reid is suing this mess to do speaking engagements, according to literary … did I spell that right … i-l-l-i-t-e-r-a-t-e … yes, talent manager, Philippe Ashfield:

“Tara Reid is set for motivational speaking on female empowerment and equal pay for women in Hollywood, after all she has been judged for being beautiful, blonde and female for many years before the #MeToo movement happened… Tara is set to make a major comeback in the next 12 months.”

Um, Tara Reid has been judged mostly for being an out-of-control wannabe and has-been who spent more time in the gutter than anyone—except Lohan—and whose biggest claim to fame is the time the straps on her slip dress slid off on a red carper, exposing her much-siliconed breast to the elements and she had no idea because … silicone.

Like that’s a TED talk I need.

photo

We all know that in recent months Ellen DeGeneres has been dragged across social media for claiming that isolating in any one of her mansions was like being in jail and for perhaps not being near as nice as she claims and screwing her TV  crew and staff during the quarantine, leaving them unpaid and uncertain if they’d have a job when this is over.

Well, foot stomp, head snap, Ellen does not like the criticism. A source—possibly Portia—says:

“Ellen is at the end of her rope. She thought this was all just sour grapes from a few haters. But it’s not a passing thing—the hits just keep coming.”

Look, I like Ellen, but she has shown herself to be out-of-touch and a bit self-entitled and a tad bit greedy these last few months. And while her quarantine shows are performing well in the ratings, I think she’ll be doing damage control for some time.

Like, perhaps, starting with an apology …?

photo

I’m sorry, I know they’re both adults, but that photo is all kinds of creepy. That troll doll on the right is 33-year-old …who seriously looks older … Mary-Kate Olsen, and the old guy is her, she hopes, soon-to-be ex-husband Olivier Sarkozy.

The lovebirds separated recently, and MKO—it’s too much to write her full name—wanted an emergency divorce filing granted after Olivier terminated the lease on their Gramercy Park apartment because she felt forced out with nowhere to go.

Sidenote: there are tons of bridges in New York were trolls can live.

But this darn virus has ruined MKO’s plans because her emergency order request  has been deemed “not essential” and with the courts in NYC closed, well, let’s just say the bridges are looking like a nice alternative.

MKO’s demand was rejected last month by Manhattan Supreme Court Justice Michael Katz because the “essential matter procedure” was not followed. Oops, a One-Percenter didn’t follow the rules? The only odd thing about that is that the One-Percenter was then treated like an everyday normal person.

But here’s what gets me … MKO wants the emergency filing because Olivier sold their apartment and she has nowhere to live and nowhere to put her things.

Seriously, a rich troll can’t get a U Haul and some POD storage lockers?

photo

I Ain't One To Gossip But ...

A few weeks back we learned that the marriage of Julianne Hough and Brooks Laich isn’t so joyful. She came out as bisexual and then he said he wanted to explore his sexuality; out of a need to be helpful, I offered to help Brooks.

But now it’s worse … they’ve taken a page from Bruce and Demi, by self-isolating in separate states. While Brooks is in Idaho with their dog, Julianne is in LA … walking around with British actor Ben Barnes.

Yeah, this sounds like a stable union and, um, Brooks, again, if you need help with the exploration, I have some experience in that field.

photo

And Contagion Paltrow is back in the gossip for being an idiot. I know, nothing new, but still … It seems that  lifestyle “expert” Gwyneth Paltrow has donated a dress she wore to the Oscars once and it’ll be auctioned off for charity, But the rub is, it’s a dress Contagion herself has called ugly, so, yeah, why not auction it off …? She let everyone know with this:

“In an effort to focus on organizations providing food assistance, I have joined the All In Challenge which raising money for Meals On Wheels, No Kid Hungry, WC Kitchen, Feeding America, and America’s Food Fund. I am donating a dress I wore to the Oscars (and that holds great sentimental value!) which I will personally hand to you over a cup of tea or a glass of wine.”

In 2000, Gwyneth wore this plain Calvin Klein dress to the Oscars. No, not that pink-as-pale-dead skin nighty looking mess she wore the year before when she stole Cate Blanchett’s Oscar won Best Actress for Shakespeare in Love. This 2000 dress was a basic bitch dress that one might wear to a sixth-grade dance …and get laughed out of the room.

Yes; Contagion  decided to auction off that dress—which appeared on several Worst Dressed Lists—saying it’s a “good one to donate” because its “end of the 90s” style has since made a comeback. Is it, though? I mean, because back in 2013 when asked what she thought were her worst fashion moments, she said:

“Two that come to mind are looks I wore to the Oscars in 2000 and 2002. The first is the Calvin Klein. It’s an okay dress but not Oscars material. I chose it because I wanted to disappear that year.”

Honey, we wanted you to disappear, too. But which is it, a beautiful nod to the 90s coming back around again, or a nothing little thing that makes no impact?

Must be the latter because why else would you donate it to charity?

photo 1 photo 2

I like Reese Witherspoon as an actress, kind of. I mean, not the Legally Blond Reese but the Big Little Lies Reese because she was kind of a bitch, so probably more like the real deal. But I did take issue with 2013 Reese—who might have been saved from embarrassment if she’d worn Paltrow’s dress and become invisible—when she and her husband, Jim Toth, were pulled over for driving like drinks and behaving like drinks in Atlanta.

Jim was arrested for DUI and failure to maintain a lane while driving and Reese was charged with disorderly conduct and perhaps for slurring to police officers who were cuffing her:

“Don’t you know who I am?”

“You’re drunk off her ass Reese Witherspoon.”

Well, Reese made an appearance on Jameela Jamil’s podcast, I Weigh with Jameela Jamil, in which Jamil asked her about that infamous run-in with the law:

“It was so embarrassing and dumb, but you know what—[it] turns out I breathe air. I bleed the same way. I make dumb decisions. I make great decisions. I’m just a human being. We’re all just the same as each other and we’re all trying to find what our special skills are. My special skill is storytelling but that doesn’t mean I’m a special person.”

Nice, but, um, Reese, while you’re human and we’re all human, I don’t think the vast majority of us, pulled over because our husband was so drunk he couldn’t stay on the road, and so drunk ourselves that, instead of saying ‘Sorry,’ we played the Fame Card.

That was all you, and it was pathetic.

photo

Ellen DeGeneres has the reputation of being the nicest woman on TV, but is she? Really? Ellen recently caught flak by claiming she felt like she was in jail for having to self-isolate in one of her many mansions, and now this:

Apparently numerous inside sources from Ellen’s show have given an inside peek at what it’s like working for her during the COVID-19 shutdown. And if they’re telling the truth, then Ellen might want to go ahead and get a hoodie made up that says, “Be kind to one another, with the exception of most of the people who work on my show.”

The core stage crew of Ellen is made up of roughly 30 employees, but since the show went audience-less about a month ago Ellen has been broadcasting from the Big House—well, one of her big houses—and conducting interviews with guests via satellite. So, only four core crew members are working on the remote broadcast, which means at least 26 are stuck at home and wondering what’s going to happen to them, but …

According to anonymous sources—employees who still work for the show and want to keep it that way—if they reach out to producers to inquire about work hours, pay, or questions regarding their mental and physical health they get no response. Morale got worse when the furloughed crew members heard that Ellen had ALLEGEDLY hired a non-union company to assist with her at-home broadcast, instead of bringing back her unionized crew members.  To make matters worse, while Ellen is making a little more money hiring non-union workers, her employees will be taking a 60% pay cut.

Why do that, Ellen? To avoid paying your employees and line your pockets with extra coins? Doesn’t seem so nice now, does she? On the upside, as soon as reports surfaced about the crew having their wages cut—while Ellen took no such pay decrease—producers suddenly announced that the pay cut was over, and the crew would receive their back pay.

Ellen ALLEGEDLY makes $50 million a year from her TV show and is worth an estimated $330 million. Surely, she could afford to take a little pay cut and help out her crew? Like Jimmy Kimmel, who has been paying his furloughed stagehands out of his own pockets.

Maybe Jimmy should be hailed as the Nicest Person in show business and Ellen should be placed in the Scrooge McDuck category.

photo

On the most recent episode of Keeping Up With The Kardastrophes 35-year-old Khloé Kardastrophe talked about wanting more babies and suggested that maybe she would need to “borrow” sperm from the father of her baby daddy and serial cheater Tristan Thompson, to make a new baby sibling for little True.

First off, you dim bulb, lay off the fillers. When you child grows up, she’ll look nothing like your plastic face and wonder if you’re her real mommy.

Secondly, if you borrow sperm that means you have to give it back. I guess your education didn’t reach that far.

Thirdly, by all means make another baby with a man who cheated on his first baby mama with you, while she was pregnant, and then cheated on you with another woman while you were pregnant.

Keep making those good choices, hon, you’re a role model for famewhores everywhere.

photo 1 photo 2

Earlier this month when we learned that Bruce Willis was quarantining in Idaho with his ex-wife Demi Moore and their adult children while his current wife, Emma Heming Willis and their two young daughters  were in Los Angeles. And Demi-Bruce spawn, Scout, one of the older girls, is explaining things:

“It’s been so funny because to me they’re just like my super fucking weird parents but to everyone else, they’re at this different level. “It’s actually been really cool. My stepmom was supposed to come up here with my little sisters but my younger sister, who is now about to be [6] years old, at a park, had never gotten the talk about not fucking with hypothermic [sic] needles that she found so she actually tried to poke her shoe with it and poked her foot. So, my stepmom had to be in LA waiting to get the results from taking her to the doctor so my dad came up here and then travel got crazy, so my stepmom stayed in LA with my little sisters.”

Look, I‘m’a admit something: I rarely lie, though I can make up a good story, but I am a good liar. Thing is, you gotta keep it simple because you start embellishing and the details overwhelm the lie.

So, um, Scout, WTF kinda park does your stepmother take her child to that has hypodermic needles on the ground? And how is a six-year-old left alone long enough to touch the needle and then stick herself with it? And if Bruce was already in Idaho when this happened, and he’s been in Idaho since March, why didn’t he just drive his back to L.A. when he learned that his daughter might have contracted hepatitis or worse from stabbing herself in the foot with a used syringe?

Yeah, Scout, that’s a nice try …

photo