Chris Wallace, FOX News anchor and moderator of last
week’s presidential debate, on those wearing masks in the hall: “The interesting thing though, however, was, the Cleveland
Clinic that set up the safety rules said everybody in the hall with the
exception of the president, the vice president, and myself had to wear a mask. When
Mrs. Biden, came in, when members of her party came in, they were all wearing
masks. They kept them on throughout the debate. Mrs. [Melania] ______ came
in wearing a mask but took it off once she sat down. I didn’t see when they
came in, but all the other members of the first family that I saw there,
including Ivanka, Tiffany, when they sat down, they weren’t wearing
masks. I’m told by the pool of reporters who was there that somebody from the
Cleveland Clinic came up to the first family—I believe this was before Mrs. ______
sat down—and offered the masks in case they didn’t have them, and they waved
them away. And people in the hall did notice that while they were all wearing
masks, including my wife and four of my children, that the first family did not
wear masks during the debate. When it ended, Mrs. ______ came up to go on the
stage. As I think everybody saw, she was not wearing a mask.” Ignorance runs rampant in that family. |
Colin Jost, SNL Weekend Update host, on _____’s
Tweets from the hospital where he ALLEGEDLY being treated for COVID-19: “I will say, that despite everything ______ actually seems
to be in good spirits. He tweeted a message that said, ‘LOVE!!!,’ and three
exclamation points so it sounds they’re cutting his hydroxychloroquine with a
little bit of molly. Just hours ago, Trump released a video from the hospital
saying he’s in better health, which is great news. Though I will point out that
if the situation were reversed, and it was Biden who got sick, ______ would 100
percent be at a maskless rally tonight getting huge laughs, doing impressions
of Biden on a ventilator.” And while Jost was making a joke, you know that _____
would be doing exactly that. Sidenote: Colin really revs my engine. |
Greg Gutfeld, Fox News host , on ______
being hospitalized with the virus: “The reason why he didn’t hide from the virus
is he didn’t want America to hide from the virus. If he was going to ask
America to get back to work, right? To get back to work and experience a risk,
he was going to do the same thing. He was going to walk out there on that
battlefield with you, and not sit somewhere in a basement and tell you how, you
know, how you got to get back to work but not go out himself. So, I think he
put himself on the line, and the flaw being that as an optimist, as somebody
who’s trying to convey a message that we’re going to get through this, and
things are going to be better, he had to walk that walk. He had to do that. He
could have scared the crap out of everybody, but he refused, and it goes back
to his original point about trying to make sure the positive attitude is
maintained along with a sense of concern. So, he took the risk, he got the
virus, but it’s because he was doing it for us.” Seriously, the goose-stepping those pandering
fucks at Fox do has reached a new low. He lied about the virus for months while
hundreds of thousands of Americans died, and six million got sick, and when he
gets the virus it’s for us? Fuck off, hack. |
_____, on Fox News, saying he will not do a virtual
debate: “That’s not acceptable to us. … I’m not gonna do a virtual
debate. I’m not going to waste my time on a virtual debate. That’s not what
debating’s about. You sit behind a computer and do a debate. It’s ridiculous.
And then they cut you off whenever they want.” So, he wants the freedom to lie and interrupt and cheat and
when he can’t get it, he stays home? Good, because I’d hate to see him infect
anyone else with COVID-19 …or his stupidity. Or maybe he’s just chicken. |
Pete Buttigieg, on Fox News, asked about Kamala Harris’s
position on Medicare but doing an about face to nail Pence for his hypocrisy: “There’s a classic parlor game of trying to find a little
bit of daylight between running mates. And if people want to play that
game, we could look into why an evangelical Christian like Mike Pence
wants to be on a ticket with a president caught with a porn star … or
how he feels about the immigration policy he called unconstitutional before he
decided to team up with Donald _____. If folks want to play that game we can do
it all night but I think what most Americans want to hear about is are our
families going to be better protected than they have been by this president who
has failed to secure America in the face of one of the most dangerous things
ever to happen our country.” I love that Pete goes on Fox News and speaks truth to power
…even if they don’t get it. |
Anne Heche, trying to revive her failing career by
appearing on Dancing with the Stars[?], and talking about her life with
Ellen and how terrible it was … for her: “In 1997, I met Ellen DeGeneres at the Vanity Fair party and
that was the night that changed my life forever. My movie premiere for Volcano,
I had told them that I was taking Ellen as my date and I was told if I took
Ellen I would lose my Fox contract. At that moment, she took my hand and
said, 'Do what they say,' and I said, 'No thanks.' I took
Ellen to the premiere and I was ushered out by security before the movie even
ended and was told I was not allowed to go to my own after-party for fear they
would get pictures of me with a woman… She was warning me, 'This is going
to happen.' … the stigma attached to that relationship was so bad that I was
fired from my multimillion-dollar picture deal and I did not work in a studio
picture for 10 years.” It wasn’t the stigma attached to that relationship,
it was the stigma of being openly gay, which you were when you were with Ellen,
and then weren’t when you were found in the dessert, incoherently mumbling
about UFO’s and shiz, and when you weren’t when you married your husband had a
baby, and cheated on him. You are the maker of your own mistakes Anne, and it had
nothing to do with Ellen and everything to do with you. |
Patti LuPone, Broadway legend and diva
extraordinaire, Twitter slammed _____ for his balcony performance after leaving
the hospital: “I still have the lung power and I wore less makeup. This
revival is closing November 3rd.” Goddess I adore me some La LuPone! And I love Twitterers who
have now taken to calling _____ “Covita’! |