Meme Dump

Why Is It ...

… that I always regret making a good first impression because there is no way I can keep that shiz up.

… that I don’t make the same mistake twice but I can make it 5 or 6 or 40 times just to be sure.

… that I remember the time when I thought a new hip joint meant someplace I wanted to go on a Friday night.

… that people don’t understand that I find out about everything … I even know Victoria’s Secret.

... that when my boss asked why I was late I said, “I cut someone off and they told me to go to Hell. At first I couldn’t find it, but now I’m here.’

… that even though some things are better left unsaid, I have a habit of saying them

…. that I will burn bridges while I’m still standing on them just so people know I am serious about my crazy.

… that I don’t mind coming in to work but waiting eight hours to go home is bull shiz

… that I bought a co-worker a Get Better Soon card and she didn’t like it. I mean, she’s not sick, I just think she could do better.

… that there are many times I am in mid-conversation with someone and will say, “Look, I don’t care.”

… when I shut down, I shut down for real … like McDonalds ice cream machine real.

Why Is It ...

… that no one believes that I have no skeletons in my closet I do have a tiny box of souls in my underwear drawer.

… that nothing pisses me off more than pulling up to my job and finding the building still standing.

… that just because I like to walk around in my underwear, eating Doritos, does not make me strange and the people in Aisle Four need to get a life.

… that I often feel the need to tell people they should go to church because I don’t want them in Hell with me

… that more people don’t ask for my opinion. I mean, like the other day I said to a coworker, ‘Relax, you aren’t the dumbest person in the world but you better hope he doesn’t die.’

… that I often tell songs to “Shut up” before I skip them.

… that once I’m in bed and I turn over on my stomach and make that 4-shape with my legs it’s a wrap

.… that my idea of help is a sniper on the roof.

… that if I died and went straight to Hell it would probably take weeks to realize I wasn’t at work anymore.

… that every time I try to donate blood I always get the same stupid questions: Who’s blood is it? Where did you get it? Why is it in a bucket?

Why Is It ...

… that as I get older I no longer dislike Mondays … I dislike the whole week.

… that I used to fall asleep and lay in one position the entire night. Now I rotate like a rotisserie chicken every fifteen minutes or a hip hurts.

… that when people say, ‘Bob you are out of fucking control,’ I hear ‘Bob, you are such a free spirit.’

… that more often than not I find out without even getting the chance to fuck around.

… that people need constant reminding that no matter how they feel about me, there’s nothing they can do.

… that after work I was so excited to get that raise. I mean, it was in medication dosage, but I’ll take any win I can get.

… that some people think I have no self control. I have actually cooked meals for men I should have poisoned but didn’t.

… that people need to learn that I may not put the sparkle in their eyes, but I will put the WTF wrinkles in your forehead.

… that I think the best way to get over somebody is with your car.

… that people don’t realize my social media posts are not targeted at anyone in particular, but if you feel offended I’m glad I could reach one person.

Why Is It ...

… that people don’t realize that my emotional baggage is basically the tough life experiences that have made me into the hilariously twisted empathetic sexy fuck that I am today.

… that my morning routine, every morning, is just convincing myself not to go back to bed.

… that people forget that I have quite the ability to multitask … I can listen, ignore and forget all at the same time.

… that if you see me talking to myself, pay me no mind. I’m having a staff meeting.

… that when people tell me to take it down a notch it guarantees a five notch increase; do not ever try to de-notch me.

… that while I am not exactly sure what my spirit animal is, I’m confident it has rabies.

… that I wish I could Google search my own mind … ask it “what are my favorite movies” or “what’s the name of that place with the really good egg rolls.”

… that people need to know that, at this age, if I tell you I do not care, please believe me.

… that I feel the need to toot my own horn after making it through another day of not turning feelings into felonies.

… that people who aren’t from South Carolina don’t realize the average summertime temperature is a hundred-and-fuck-you.

Ain't That America ... Let's Celebrate A Little ....

Okay, we all know about the big Democrat wins last week … Zohran Mamdani won the New York City mayoral race … Mikie Sherrill is the next governor of New Jersey and Abigail Spanberger won the  Virginia governor’s races … and California voters approved Prop 50 to temporarily redraw the state's congressional districts to add Democrat-leaning districts, but there are other wins, smaller perhaps, but just as important, like …

In Georgia, Peter Hubbard and Alicia Johnson are the newest members of the state's five-person public utility regulator after earning roughly 60% of the vote. It's the first time Democrats have won a nonfederal statewide office there since 2006 and one where soaring energy costs and displeasure with incumbents dominated the race.

Pennsylvania voters retained three state Supreme Court judges that were first elected as Democrats after millions of dollars in outside spending tried to reshape the court's politics. Democrats also won special elections for a seat on Pennsylvania's Superior Court and a seat on its Commonwealth Court. Democrats also swept the top "row offices" in the purple-hued Bucks County, electing the county's first-ever Democratic district attorney and defeating an incumbent Republican sheriff; Democrats similarly won in county executive races in Erie, Lehigh and Northampton counties.

In Mississippi … yes, Mississippi … Democrats have broken a GOP supermajority in the state Senate after flipping two seats in that chamber and another seat the state House.

Democrats also expanded their control of the Virginia House of Delegates and gained a supermajority in New Jersey's General Assembly.

In Georgetown, South Carolina, Democrats flipped all three city council seats, while in Orlando, Florida the last remaining Republican city council member was voted out. And for the first time in fifty years Democrats control the Onondaga County legislature that includes Syracuse, New York, while in North Carolina Democrats saw a city council seat in Charlotte switch parties for the first time since 1999.

Beyond Mamdani's victory in New York City, the Democratic Socialists of America touted municipal wins for members in Detroit, Atlanta and Cambridge, Massachusetts, among others.

DNC Chairperson Ken Martin predicted that the party's success in special elections in 2025—Democrats overperformed prior margins by an average of about 14%—would continue into the midterm cycle.

Let’s keep this going into next year, and beyond …

Democrats are turning up the heat on the DOJ to release details on a probe into the Epstein's co-conspirators that was "inexplicably killed." Jamie Raskin, the top Democrat on the House Judiciary Committee, wrote in a letter to Attorney General Pam Bondi:

"I write to demand an explanation for why DOJ has abandoned the women and girls abused by Mr. Epstein, Ms. Maxwell, and their co-conspirators, fired or cut off career prosecutors from the case, and ceased its investigation into one of the largest sex trafficking rings in history."

But Cankles wanted this investigation killed because his name is all over the Epstein files so that’s what Pammy Jo Bondi did. Unfortunately for Cankles, the pressure to release more information on Epstein is bipartisan. Democrats and Republicans alike want answers and the moment that the government reopens there are going to be widespread demands for a full release. 

MAGA hack Judge Aileen Cannon—a partisan Cankle appointee who oversaw his federal criminal case and ruled that Jack Smith's appointment was unconstitutional—was ordered to release the remaining parts of Special Counsel Jack Smith's investigation into Cankle's classified documents scandal:

"By keeping this order in place, Judge Cannon is undermining both accountability and the rule of law. There is no legitimate reason for the report's continued suppression, and it should be posted on the court's public docket without further delay."

We The People have a right to know the full truth about Cankles the Felon.

When Josh White, owner of Heretic Coffee Co. in Portland, learned that many families could lose SNAP benefits on November 1, 2025, he couldn’t imagine parents struggling to feed their children so he made a bold promise: anyone losing assistance could come in for a free breakfast burrito and a cup of coffee no questions asked. Critics warned him it could destroy his business, but Josh said he was willing to lose everything if it meant children wouldn’t go hungry.

What happened next was wonderful, as people across Portland and across the world began donating to support his mission. In just a short time, over $300,000 was raised, giving Heretic Coffee the ability to serve thousands of free meals.

Josh never set out to be a hero; he simply refused to ignore people in need, which is what the Cankles Regime is doing … letting people starve.

Before announcing that she would be retiring from public service, Nancy Pelosi dropped a truth bomb on CNN when she said of Cankles:

“He’s just a vile creature. The worst thing on the face of the Earth.”

And  then she laid out the charges:

Turning the Supreme Court into a rogue arm of extremism.

“Abolishing” the House’s power like an aspiring king.

Intimidating the press.

Terrorizing immigrants who are here legally.

And she made it clear: her mission in Congress isn’t about legacy, chairs, or ego but:

“My only reason I'm in Congress this term is to win the House for the Democrats, to protect us from the poison of the [Cankles Regime.”

You can say what you want about Nancy Pelosi but she has, on more than one occasion, stared straight into the eyes of that wannabe dictator and called him exactly what he is:

A fascist racist rapist grifter predator and a liar.

Speaking of heroes, here’s Illinois National Guard Captain Dylan Blaha, who had his security clearance suspended by DUI Hire Paranoid Pete Hegseth after he urged his fellow servicemembers to not “obey illegal orders against Americans.”

In addition, he is also running for US Congress  in Illinois to make America affordable for all Americans.

That is The Resistance at work.

Steve Bannon, that unbathed lump of rightwingnut flesh, told the Conservative Partnership Institute, in his best Scalet O’Hara impression:

“As God is my witness. If we lose the midterms, if we lose 2028, some in this room are going to prison—myself included.”

So, um, Steve? What’s the problem exactly?

"Dr." Mehmet Quack Oz was front and center as Cankles unveiled a new deal with two pharmaceutical giants to expand coverage and reduce prices for their popular obesity treatments and Oz announced:

“Mr. President, our estimate, based on the company numbers as well, is that Americans will lose 135 billion pounds by the midterms.” 

Since clearly math and numbers are hard for the regime, let me spell this out: the current U.S. population is 342 million and every American would need to lose about 394 pounds over the next year to hit Oz’s figure. And if the group was limited to the estimated 146.9 million people on Medicare and Medicaid, each individual would need to lose an average of 900 pounds.

Seriously … stupid.

GOP Michigan Representative Lisa McClain, who is best known here for telling a Cankles rally crowd that he killed Osama Bin Laden, says the GOP had its ass handed to them because, well, let’s have her say it:

“Voter turnout from Republicans was not high. Not high at all. But I think part of that reason is because Republicans, for the most part, are happy with what’s happening.”

The MAGAts are happy with America so they stayed home and didn’t vote?

Sure Jan.

In Oregon last week U.S. District Judge Karin Immergut ... appointed by Cankles in his first term ... issued a permanent injunction barring the Cankles Regime from deploying the National Guard in Portland in response to protests against his immigration policies:

“This Court arrives at the necessary conclusion that there was neither ‘a rebellion or danger of a rebellion’ nor was the President ‘unable with the regular forces to execute the laws of the United States’ in Oregon when he ordered the federalization and deployment of the National Guard.”

Cankles can appeal the ruling if it wants to … when he wakes up from his nap.

It looks like Cankles AKA Sleepy Don was once again caught taking a nap in the Oval Office during a press conference. A Washington Post analysis of multiple video feeds found that Cankles spent nearly 20 minutes trying to keep his eyes open before nodding off. And, of course, the White House denied Cankles was asleep and suggested the question was out of line:

“The President was not sleeping; in fact, he spoke throughout and took many questions from the press during this announcement which represents a historic reduction in prices for Americans on two drugs that help Americans struggling with diabetes, heart disease, obesity, and other conditions.”

Yeah, keep spinning that story. 

Cankles wants the Washington Commanders to name their planned $3.7 billion stadium after him; a senior White House source said there have been communications with a member of the Commanders’ ownership group, led by Josh Harris, to express Cankle’s desire to have the stadium bear his name and even KKKarolying Leavitt jumped in:

“That would be a beautiful name, as it was [Cankles] who made the rebuilding of the new stadium possible.”

I have some suggestions ... Adulterers Arena  … Cankles Coliseum … Fat Fascist Football Stadium … Sexual Predator Park … Lying POS Stadium … Blithering Idiot Bowl ...

Do you have any suggestions?

It appears that the same day Cankles napped in the Oval  a man collapsed and a photo of Cankles standing utterly still, ignoring the commotion, while others attended to the man went viral.

If that isn’t a metaphor for what this Fascist Racist Rapist Predator Liar Con Artist Thieving Adulterer is doing to this country … standing by while Americans work without pay, while Americans go hungry, while his fascist Police Chief DogKiller Noem arrests and detains innocent people, while his DUI Hire Hegseth shoots boats out of the water in the Caribbean then I don’t know what it might be.

But it’s time to keep the Resistance up and keep the pressure on and work as hard as we can so that next November another blue Wave will take back America from the hands of  criminals.

Why Is It ...

… that people need to accept what’s good in their lives … like me, I’m a f*cking delight.

… that we all have that one friend that we literally have to tell them to ‘be nice’ before we introduce them to a new person; or is that just directed at me.

… that sometimes I want to call into work and say, ‘My mom said I can’t come.’

… that no one realizes that I don’t care if I’m not their cup of tea; I’d rather be gasoline and set shiz on fire.

… that when someone asks me how I sleep at night knowing there are some people out there that don’t like me, I say, ‘I sleep with no underwear on in case they want to kiss me ass.’

… that people need to learn that it’s really important, especially in the morning, to shut up.

… that with so many things coming back into style, I cannot wait until morals and intelligence start trending again.

… that more water you drink, the more bathroom breaks, the lest you work so stay hydrated and follow me for more work tips.

… that one of my hobbies is having no time for bullsh*t

… that the other day Carlos turned to me and said, ‘I was talking to you and you yawned six times. Am I boring you?” And I said, ‘Those weren’t yawns, they were six unsuccessful attempts to speak.’

Ain't That America X

Another week down and the Midterms cannot come quickly enough … Faux Christians watching porn at work … Nazi Mace … White House Press Liar doesn’t pay her bills … Epstein …  GOP boosts White Nationalist to power … Another Republican paying for his mistress’ abortion … Another Felon supporter arrested for child porn … but some good news … the courts are stepping up and stopping the regime … Leon Skum causes another explosion … MAGAts cannot spell the name of the state they want to represent … and President Cankles, the most bloated gasbag on the planet, wants to reinstate the president’s fitness test … seriously …

Ryan Walters, Oklahoma’s State Superintendent of Public Instruction, was accused of watching porn on his work TV and claims it was a lie and a setup:

“We have got a gross accusation that has already been proven, by OMES [Office of Management and Services] and the sheriff’s office, to be impossible to have happened. There’s no devices connected to that cable TV.”

BUT … an OMES report says Walters’ claim about the TV’s streaming capabilities was a lie. The TV had cable access and was connected to an empty DVD player and connected to the state’s open WiFi network. A one-time passcode was required to access screen casting to the TV, limiting the number of people with casting ability to the device.

Good Christian MAGAt Walter’s is lying.

South Carolina GOP Representative, transphobic fool, and all-around liar, Nancy Mace, teased a run for South Carolina governor because the state has “gone woke” and says one of her  “favorite things to watch on YouTube these days are the court hearings where illegals are in court and ICE shows up to drag them out of court and deport them.”

Let me give one example of how “woke South Carolina is; we have the death penalty here and the governor has paved the way for death by firing squad.

I think lynching may be next.

The Felon’s White House press secretary, KKKaroline Leavitt  has a money problem that won’t go away. It seems her 2022 congressional campaign committee failed to pay off a penny of the $326,370.50 it owes across more than 100 creditors.

Leavitt, as you may know, loves to rant about “deadbeats” over their student loan payments and poor people who “expect government handouts” such as Medicaid and food stamps.

Every GOP accusation is an admission.

The FCC’s approval of CBS owner Paramount’s $8 billion merger with Skydance came with a condition to install a “bias monitor” to make sure the news company’s reporting meets standards demanded by The Felon.

Bye CBS.

The Felon now says he ended his friendship with Jeffrey Epstein and threw the now-disgraced financier out of his private club in Florida after Epstein betrayed him more than once by hiring people who had worked for him.

Every day the story changes because … He’s on the list.

Marco Rubio on the idea that he may run for the White in 2028 … hold for laughter … though may change his mind if JD Vance … hold for laughter … wants the job.

I know of no two other Republicans more disliked by their own party except for maybe Ted Cruz.

Hell let ‘em all run.

Senate Republicans voted this week to confirm Joe Kent, who buddied up with white nationalist Nick Fuentes, gives interviews to Nazi sympathizers, downplayed the extremism of the neofascist Proud Boys, and grouped the Black Lives Matter movement with “child trafficking rings and cartels,” saying they should all face “federal terrorism charges,” was named to lead the National Counterterrorism Center; every Republican but one, Senator Thom Tillis of North Carolina, voted for him.

That’s the GOP … add a racist, terrorist, and far-right wingnut to a Counterterrorism office.

Texas GOP Congressman Giovanni Capriglione who rammed through a six-week abortion ban in his state has been exposed as having a 17-year long affair and paid for several abortions for his mistress. He has also recently resigned from office though claims the whole story is a lie.

Remember, every GOP accusation is a confession.

Texas GOP Senator, Rafael Cruz, taking time from his Greek vacation while Texas flooded, has actually claimed lied that, after the shooting in New York City, the Democrats are coming for your guns.

Except what Democrats, and most Americans, wants, is stronger gun laws, assault weapons off the streets and background checks.

What Ted Cruz wants is to stoke fear amongst his gun-toting base to stay in office so he can take another holiday while Texas floods, or burns, or blows away, or loses power or another elementary school gets shot up by a lunatic with an assault weapon..

Scott Soucek of Sturgeon Bay, Wisconsin, a fervent Felon supporter who said he cast his 2024 vote to fight child trafficking, has been charged with 10 counts of possessing child pornography.

Soucek isn’t just a Felon supporter, he is also married to a leading GOP Party operative in the state.

Again, every GOP accusation is a confession and, once again, ever notice how all these pedophiles and child porn lovers are also Felon supporters?

Judge Jesse M. Furman of the Federal District Court for the Southern District of New York permanently barred The Felon’s administration from imposing penalties on two law professors over their involvement with the International Criminal Court, finding that the threat violated their First Amendment rights.

Smackdown.

It is being reported that Leon Skum’s America Party will likely never launch, but if it does, expect to explode in midair.

Along with France and Canada, British Prime Minister Keir Starmer has said Great Britain will recognize the state of Palestine in September unless the Israeli government takes substantive steps to end the “appalling situation” in Gaza, reaches a ceasefire, makes clear there will be no annexation in the West Bank, and commits to a long-term peace process that delivers a Two State Solution.

Stand up!

Stephen Flynn, the Scottish National Party MP for Aberdeen South, refused to meet with The Felon because, he says, he was busy washing his hair and had his own toddlers to looks after.

Hey world? Be like Stephen.

U.S. District Judge Indira Talwani in Boston has ruled Planned Parenthood clinics nationwide must continue to be reimbursed for Medicaid funding as the nation’s largest abortion provider fights The Felon’s administration over efforts to defund the organization in his signature Tax Scam for Billionaires.

Resist!

U.S. Wisconsin GOP Representative Bryan Steil was met with consistent boos during a town hall over his support for The Felon’s fascist policies.

His in-person town hall was the first for a Wisconsin Republican since House GOP leadership advised members to avoid the in-person event to avoid public protests.

In other words, hide from your constituents.

MAGAt Representative Mike Collins of Georgia has his work cut out for him as he enters the 2026 Republican Senate primary field and not just because his GOP challengers will include another MAGAt candidate and former college football coach Derek Dooley, who reportedly has Governor Brian Kemp’s support.

Meanwhile, Democrat Jon Ossoff is building massive momentum to take on whichever MAGAt steps up,

But the funny is that Collins stumbled right out of the gate with an early campaign video that misspelled the name of the state he’s running in:

This is one time I can’t actually blame him … apparently The Felon appeared to doze off again in public this week when “Dr.” Mehmet Oz spoke of a new health-tracking system at the White House.

Perhaps DonOLD needs a new heath tracking system?

Make it make sense … President Cankles has signed an executive order reinstating the national fitness assessment implemented in public schools from 1956 until 2013. And the role of administering the test will fall to HHS Secretary Robert F. Kennedy Jr.

So, the unhealthiest human on the planet wants a fitness test for public school students and wants the drug addict and brain worm infected moron who took a swim in sewage to administer it?

Keep calm and …