I Ain't One To Gossip But ...

Kirstie Alley has been trending on Twitter again lately, but the only reason Kirstie Alley trends anywhere is not because what’s left of her career, but because she’s gone off the deep end again … like when she Tweeted this:

“I’m voting for [______] because he’s NOT a politician. I voted for him 4 years ago for this reason and shall vote for him again for this reason. He gets things done quickly and he will turn the economy around quickly. There you have it folks there you have it”

It’s hard to figure out if this is the craziest thing she’s ever done, or is it still the time she pretended to have lost a lot of weight on Jenny Craig and wore a bikini on Oprah. Nope, it’s clearly her political bent and TwitFits, like one where she seemed to show her support of QAnon:

“WHERE WE GO ONE WE GO ALL. I like it”

She likes pedophile conspiracy theorists, but hates … hates … Nancy Pelosi:

“The ‘process’ EVIL NANCY PELOSI speaks of is an attempt at a presidential takeover of a President by glorified BAKER ACT .. don’t believe a word that comes out of this witche’s [sic] mouth..and yes she gives witches a bad name.”

Off her meds. Off her rocker. Off her diet?

And lotsa people went after her on Twitter, though I did not because she’s blocked me, I might have questioned her membership in the Cult of Scientology and, if they believed in therapy,  would they get her to a therapist. But, you know, Tom Cruise wouldn’t have that, so people took other avenues to mock Kirstie, like a Twitterer named Don Moynihan:

“The President of the United States is, in fact, a politician. Granted, not one with basic skills of coalition-building or managing a government, but he is a politician in the worst possible meaning of the term: empty promises, exploiting fear and sowing hatred.”

Another named Timothy Dunn tells a personal story:

“I waited on Kirstie Alley back when she was the Jenny Craig lady. She tipped 20%, never made eye contact, and quietly asked me to discreetly bring her a coffee cup full of hot fudge, which I watched her eat WITH A SPOON, and no one can EVER take that precious memory away from me.”

And Bess Kalb nailed it:

“I wonder if Kirstie Alley would still vote for [_____] if she heard [______] privately describe Kirstie Alley.”

And then celebrities came for her, some with childish bites and some with sharp teeth.

Judd Apatow, was childish:

“Shelly Long was way funnier than you.”

Fellow actress Patricia Arquette was better:

“Well my vote for Biden canceled yours out. I have done my civic duty of the day.”

Meanwhile, comedian Natasha Rothwell used razor sharp teeth:

“Kirstie Alley’s tweet screamed ‘I can’t read! I don’t watch the news! Black Lives Don’t Matter! My body, your choice! and Pussies wear masks! And sexuality is a preference!' But all I can think about is how 87% of the people on here will have to google who she is.”

In the end, however, Kirstie was suddenly overwhelmed by the negativity:

“Don’t think I’ve ever seen so much name-calling in my life. Definitely not on my site here anyway I guess I’m not allowed to have a viewpoint without being called a really nasty names by what I’m going to suppose are really nasty people”

Funny she has a problem being called nasty names when she used Twitter to voice her support for a man who calls people he doesn’t like nasty names. But that’s Kirstie Alley, alone in her mansion, hooked on Scientology and a racist rapist president, so I’ll end with a Tweet that sums it all up, from The Hoarse Whisperer said:

“If MAGA and Scientology get a divorce, who gets custody of Kirstie Alley?”

Snap.

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Speaking of messes … how pathetic are you if you have to claim that you have been asked over and over and over again to be on Dancing With The Stars and have consistently turned it down because, as you stated, it’s just a show for hasbeens?

Pretty pathetic, especially since the show has countered your claims with the story that you have been asking for years and years to be a guest on DWTS and they have said,overand over:

“Who are you again.”

Tell us all about it, Taryn Manning.

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Issa Rae hosted Saturday Night Live for the first time last week and it’s all thanks to Kanye West.

Says Kanye West … at least until Raye dissed him. During a sketch on the show Raye played a fictional black political advocate who supports voting for “everybody black” on election day … everybody black except Kanye West:

“Kanye? F**k him.”

And suddenly, not surprisingly, Kanye was pissy, fuming:

“I’ve always said SNL uses black people to hold other black people back. My heart goes out to Issa Rae. I’m praying for her and her family. I know that the twenty years of service that I’ve paid in the entertainment field has furthered our ability to be more successful.”

Funny, that; SNL uses black people to hold other black people down, says the man who appeared on the show six times.

I think Kanye Karen needs to take a seat.

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Who knew a ticket to Disneyland could end a TV dynasty?

Shonda Rhimes. The TV maven—who made some $2 billion for ABC with shows like Grey’s Anatomy and Scandal—has revealed that a fight over a ticket to Disneyland led her to exit the network.

Included in her ABC contract was a non-transferrable pass to the theme park and—because she was single—she negotiated a second pass for her daughters’ nanny.

But then one day she needed an extra pass so her sister could take Rhimes’ teenage daughter to the park while the nanny chaperoned her younger daughters, and Rhimes claims ABC said no more tickets and so she walked.

A one-day Park Hopper ticket to Disneyland in 2019 cost $199 and Shonda walked because she had to pay for it herself? Sorry, not sorry that a millionaire TV producer had to pay for a couple of passes to a theme park.

Gimme a break.

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Oh Susan Sarandon, take a good long seat. The actress, who famously sparred with actress Debra Messing, over the 2016 elections, is now taking on Cher.

CHER????

Susan is throwing shade by telling the story that Cher’s role in The Witches of Eastwick was originally hers, but that Cher stole it from her.

CHER????

Here’s the real tea: Angelica Huston—Jack Nicholson’s girlfriend at the time—was originally considered for Alexandra but gave a bad audition and so the role went to Cher.  But then Susan stepped up with her own story from out of the blue, saying she was cast in Cher’s role, but right before filming started, she learned that she was switched to the role of Jane:

“I initially was cast in Cher’s part, and didn’t find out till I got to LA—because I was living in Rome—that I was actually moved to a different part. I had to learn suddenly to play the cello, and I had never played an instrument in my life. They said they would sue me if I left, so I didn’t have much choice!”

Susan then implied that Cher had a “thing” with the film’s producer Jon Peters and that’s how she got the role:

“That’s Jon … [He] and Cher had a past liaison or something, so that  was another element.”

To prove that Susan is kinda nutty, she also claims that she could’ve been in The First Wives Club, but she turned down one of the roles—she won’t say which one—because she didn’t want to partake in a women-hating-on-women plot.

She doesn’t want to be part of a women-hating-women movie but says Cher fucked her way into a film role?

She’s Cher, bitch.

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I Didn't Say It ...

Anderson Cooper, taking on Junior for his Tweet Cooper’s coverage Hurricane Florence wasn’t truthful:

“I debated whether I should even respond tonight to the president’s son. I know he considers himself an outdoorsman and pays a lot of money to be led to wildlife in Africa that he then kills. But I’m not sure if he’s actually been to a hurricane or a flood. I didn’t see him down in North Carolina over the last few days helping out, lending a hand, but I’m sure he was doing something important besides just tweeting lies.”

He was schtupping his mistress, getting an oily spray tan, and, from the looks of it, eating carbs.

Oh, and Lie Tweeting, too.

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Michael Moore, filmmaker, on _____:

“I think that we have someone in the White House who has no respect for the rule of law, who dislikes democracy by an incredible degree, which doesn’t make him really any that much different from other billionaires or CEOs because their businesses are not democracies. They rule by fiat. They decide, they make the calls and they don’t like anybody else having a say. They also like to take home the bulk of the money, with them. So this is — putting somebody like that in charge of a democracy is a very dangerous thing, and especially, it’s more dangerous with him because he has a complete lack of ideology.”

And so ........ Vote, dammit!

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Susan Sarandon, on what grade she’d give _____ for his performance so far:

“Oh my God, I would tell him to just start all over again. I don’t think we can grade him. I think what he’s done that is the most significant, is that by no … unintentionally he has energized …. Um … he is so bumbling. He’s like a character out of a cartoon or something that you can’t not be aware of what’s going on now. And Bernie Sanders proved that you can run without taking dark money, without taking PAC money. And so you see an enormous amount of people that are using that and are running and winning … like 40 percent more women are running for office and becoming elected … This is a revolution. It may not seem like one … Maybe things had to get so bad before real change actually could happen.”

Since I believe that Sarndon helped _____ get eected by publicly denouncing Hillary Clinton and then either not voting or casting a third party vote, I think she should kindly go f**k herself.

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Debra Messing, no fan of Sarandon’s, in response:

“STFU SUSAN. Oh yes, PLEASE let’s give _____ CREDIT. I mean how else are you able to walk out on the street. Convince yourself that that this CATASTROPHE of a President who you said was better that HRC IS NOT ripping children away from parents seeking asylum, holding children INDEFINITELY in internment camps with their new policy, DESTROYING all attempts to protect our environment … endangered animals, taking away women’s ACCESS to health care and legal abortion, trying to block POC from Voting with extreme Judges who will support jerrymandering (sic) efforts, not to mention destroying ALL good will and allied relationships across the Globe. Oh, and lest you forget Syria, Crimea, and putting PRO-RUSSIA agenda BEFORE the United States best interests. YES, do go on. And LAUD the effect Trump has had. Out of DESPERATION & PANIC for the DESTRUCTION of the Soul of our country. But you don’t want to look at THAT part of the equation. Because then you’d have to admit you were dead WRONG running around bellowing that HRC was more dangerous than _____. Only a self righteous, narcissist would continue to spout off and not—in the face of Americans’ pain and agony—be contrite and apologize for your part in this catastrophe. But, you do you Susan.”

Suh-nap.

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Beto O’Rourke, running for US Senate form Texas against Ted Cruz, on The Wall and immigration:

“We don’t need walls. We can have smart security solutions … People are coming out at this moment of truth. They’re going to help us decide as a country, are we a nation of walls? Will we ban all Muslims or all people of one religion? Will we describe the press as the ‘enemy of the people’? Will we take kids away from their parents when they’re trying to claim asylum, fleeing from the most brutal countries in this hemisphere, if not the planet?”

And there is a pretty good chance that Texas will choose Beto over Ted.

Finally, some good news out of the Lonestar State?

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Steve Negron, New Hampshire GOP House nominee, on his support for gay conversion therapy, AKA “ex-gay” torture:

“I did not vote for that. I believe that’s something that, when you look at these young children that are trying to make a decision, and I remember when I was 15-16 I was confused, I had a lot of options in my life. I think we need to be able to help them understand what it is, give them the right information, and let them get the treatment that they need to understand what the situation is, and I think the parents have a huge role in that as well.”

By forcing them to live a life contrary to their true selves because you were uncomfortable as a teen?

Siddown asshat.

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I Didn't Say It ...

Joe Kennedy III, Massachusetts. Democratic congressman, on the just passed GOP-Don’t-Care healthcare bill:

“The latest version of _____care doesn’t just threaten access to behavioral health coverage for those on Medicaid, it threatens access to behavioral health coverage for everyone. There is no mercy in a system that makes healthcare a luxury. There is no mercy in a country that turns their back on those most in need of protection: the elderly, the poor, the sick, and the suffering. There is no mercy in a cold shoulder to the mentally ill. This is not an act of mercy. It is an act of malice. This is not the debate Congress should be having during a mental healthcare crisis. We should be considering steps to vastly expand the transformative mental health reforms made by the ACA, not shrink them. It’s time to go even further.”

And where is the mercy on taking healthcare away from millions of people who need it while giving a tax break to millionaires and insurance companies?

Anyone?

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Jimmy Kimmel, on his show last week, making the case for keeping the ACA as it is:

"Before 2014, if you were born with a congenital heart condition like my son was, there was a good chance you would never be able to get health insurance because you had a preexisting condition, you were born with a preexisting condition. If your parents didn't have health insurance, you may not even live long enough to get denied insurance due to a preexisting condition."

And yet the GOP doesn’t care about that. I mean, if there was talk of abortion the Republicans would be all over it, but once the baby is born, they simply don’t care about it.

Hypocritical tribe of thugs.

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Wilbur Ross, Commerce Secretary and one of _____’s billionaire buddies, about that attack on Syria last month:

“Just as dessert was being served, the president explained to Mr. Xi he had something he wanted to tell him, which was the launching of 59 missiles into Syria. It was in lieu of after-dinner entertainment. The thing was, it didn’t cost the president anything to have that entertainment.”

Maybe bombing Syria didn’t cost _____ anything, but We The People paid for it with our tax dollars; it cost us sixty million dollars so billionaires could have a laugh about dropping bombs on people.

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Stephen Colbert, really, really, going after _____:

“Sir, you attract more skinheads than free Rogain. You have more people marching against you than cancer. You talk like a sign language gorilla that got hit in the head. In fact, the only thing your mouth is good for is being Vladimir Putin’s c**k holster.”

Snap! And suddenly, the _____lodytes are calling for Colbert’s head because of his “homophobic” remarks, though not _____ or any one of his followers has every felt the need to stand up against homophobia when it wasn’t leveled against that Asshat In Chief.

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Susan Sarandon, on running into Debra Messing, with whom she had a TwitFeud last year over politics and Hillary Clinton:

“She never says anything to me in person. You know, I just think she’s — she’s not very well informed, and so sometimes she gets in areas that she really hasn’t thought through, maybe. She’s ______ian a little, like that.”

Susan? You’re a fine actress; loved you in Feud, I really did. But you need to STFU.

It was people like you, who didn’t like Hillary, and were pissy that Bernie didn’t get the nod, that helped _____ get into the White House.

This is on you; you are the ill-informed one who held a grudge and fucked this country.

Sit the eff down.

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It's Snarkurday!

In Hollywood, every time two women work together, there are always stories of “The Catfights.” Sometimes the stories seem really true—I’m looking at you on Empire, Nia Long—and sometimes they’re nothing but air.

Before Stepmom came out in 1998, there were rumors that costars Susan Sarandon and Julia Roberts hated working with each other; both women denied the stories, with Julia calling them “boring.” In fact, Julia, at the time, said she’d wished someone had started the rumor that she and Sarandon were, um, well, f**king.

Cut to this year, with Sarandon working on Feud: Bette and Joan, and the rumors rising that she and costar Jessica Lange hate one another.  Susan was Tweeting about Feud recently and talked about the ALLEGED feud with Lange, and then twenty-year-old ALLEGED feud with Roberts. She said the rumor about Roberts was false and was started by her publicist to drum up buzz about the film. And then she tackled the ALLEGED feud with Jessica Lange:

“The #1 question I get in interviews is whether Jessica & I get along. Jess & I not only got along great during filming, we’re now dating”

And then added, because you know how people believe The Twitter:

“…I mean, staying in touch. She’s one of the reasons I agreed to do the series. Working with brilliant actors only makes you better.”

Look, the rumors about Roberts and Sarandon started because they were playing two women who, at first, did not get along, and the rumors about Lange and Sarandon started because they’re playing Crawford and Davis, two women who, well, truly did not get along.

Not every catfight is real ... unless it involves Nia Long.

Just sayin’.

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Now, this is high-larious!

Back in 2015 Shia LaBeouf was in a movie called Man Down in which he played a US Marine stuck in Afghanistan while his wife cheats on him with his best friend.

Man Down—which has yet to be released in America—was shown at a single theater in the UK over the weekend, and made a total of £7 ... or roughly $8.70 ... meaning one ticket was sold.

Ow.

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Harry Macklowe, a New York developer, is willing to give up half of his $2 billion fortune just to end his messy divorce case—and he’s laughing and skipping about it.

Outside a Manhattan courtroom this week, Macklowe giggled as he told reporters that he was handing his wife, Linda, half of his worth, $1 billion, just so she’ll go away and let him get on with his new love, French mistress Patricia Landeau.

And interestingly enough, Linda has yet to agree to the $1 billion Go Away settlement, and he entertained reporters with a Henny Youngman-style, Take My Wife Please, comedy routine and suggested reporters check out the stand-up routines he’s posted on Old Jews Telling Jokes.

Linda, though, is the only one not laughing, having filed for divorce in July after learning that Harry had put his mistress up in one of his apartments less than a mile away from their home.

Rule # 1: keep the mistress away from the wife.

Rule # 2: when the spouse offers you a billion to go away, go away.

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Folks are always saying models are dumb, but, c’mon, they’re rude, too.

When supermodels Cara Delevingne, Helena Christensen and Coco Rocha went to see “Hamilton” last week, their theater etiquette was almost non-existent.

First, while drinks were allowed in the audience at the Richard Rodgers Theatre, one model insisted at the America Express Platinum-sponsored event:

“We can drink inside and do whatever we want because they rented the whole theater.”

Well, yeah, maybe sip a cocktail but these gals were also talking during the show and taking photographs of the production. And one model actually said:

“We need tequila to stay awake.”

Cuz models are dumb ... and rude.

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Back in 2013, Amber Heard worked on a movie with Billy Bob Thornton called London Fields; it has never been released, and so I wonder, if it was, would it sell more than one ticket? 

We may never know, because it appears no one will ever see the film as things are getting messy.

Christopher Hanley filed suit against Heard for not honoring her contract by following the script and for not promoting the film upon completion; but, to his credit, he dropped his suit earlier this year.

But now Amber has counter-sued, claiming Hanley and his wife, Roberta, who wrote the script, filmed explicit nude scenes with her body double after she completed filming. Amber claims Christopher and Roberta—whom she calls a “lascivious and sexploitive couple”—filmed several secret nude scenes, including an “explicit pornographic sex scene” with her body double without her knowledge.

See, Amber had specific restrictions regarding nude scenes when she signed on to do the film and never agreed to the scenes in question. So, the scenes by the body double, naturally suggest that it was Amber being all porn-star-riffic when she was not.

But, to be fair, the porn scenes never made into the final, as yet unreleased film, but it appears the Hanley’s made add them to a special, most likely unseen, “producer’s cut” later on.

At any rate, is it just me, or does Amber seem to do more suing that acting these days?

Just sayin’.

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Harrison Ford just might be the new Lindsay Lohan ... or at least he Lohan’d his way out of big trouble over his recent airplane screw-up.

The FAA has ruled that they won’t take away Ford’s pilot’s license, or even fine him, for landing his plane on the taxiway instead of a runway at John Wayne Airport back in February.

Just like Lohan getting off with a slap on the wrist for driving drunk, Ford gets a spanking for flying the wrong way at an airport.

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And now, let’s end with One-Ticket-Movie-Star, Shia LaBeouf. He’s been a hot mess, a la Lohan, for a while now, but it seemed like he was getting his act, if not his acting, together, until ...

This week when he went into a rage at the staff of a Jerry’s Deli in L.A. Witnesses say he was downing beer after beer for about three hours and then staggered over to Pinz bowling alley—which is connected to Jerry’s—and pitched a fit about ... French fries.

Apparently, though the bartender kept serving him brewskis, he refused to give Shia and fries and LaBeouf LaBlewUp.

Shia doesn’t only lose it about French fries, he ALLEGED that the bartender wanted to hit him in the head with a bottle of Grey Goose—why waste good vodka?—and so he called the bartender a “fucking racist bitch.”

No one knows why he said that, unless he thinks the bartender only serves French Fries to the French ... or Grey Goose to Grey Geese.

Anyway, to add insult to injury, and to make it all seem more funny, LaBeouf was removed from Pinz in his rented bowling shoes and then had to go back inside to retrieve his regular shoes.

Talk about a walk of shame. 

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I Didn't Say It ...

Michael Phelps, Olympic icon, answering that question:

“I think everybody pees in the pool. I think it’s kind of a normal thing to do for swimmers. When we’re in the pool for two hours, we don’t really get out to pee, we just go whenever we are on the wall. Chlorine kills it, so it’s not bad.”

Still ...

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Susan Sarandon, still talking about not supporting Hillary Clinton in the November election:

“I don’t vote with my vagina.” 

I should hope not because that would be some magic cooch.

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Mike Pence, soon-to-be-failed vice presidential candidate, on [t]Rump’s proposed immigration ban including Christians and Jews from so-called “terrorist” countries:

“We should temporarily suspend immigration from countries that have been compromised by terrorism, which I think is altogether fitting and appropriate. When you look at the Syrian refugee program … the simple fact is that both our Homeland Security and FBI have said there are countries like Syria where people are coming in through routine means, the refugees program and otherwise and we can simply not know who they are for sure. So suspending that program from those countries, I think is in the best interest of the security of our people.”

When pushed to say that this meant the program would include Jewish and Christians citizens of those countries, Pence reiterated again the policy was based on countries where terrorism existed.

So, yeah, Muslims, Jews, Christians … stay away.

That’s so American.

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Jonathan Greer, pastor at Mt. Sterling Baptist Church in Alabama, in a sermon after being fired for allowing Black children to attend Vacation Bible School:

“There was push-back about the types of children that we were bringing in, and I was asked to not invite black children to the VBS. What they really mean is that someone can wander in off the street and they won’t stop them, but they specifically asked me, explicitly, not to invite black people. … I wanted the church to know that this is not consistent with the gospel. This is not consistent with God’s word that we honor and give dignity to all people. That’s what the Bible teaches us, and all people are worthy and in need of the gospel, and racism denies that to a certain amount of people.”

But it is kinda consistent with Alabama. Sadly.

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Donna Brazile, Democratic National Committee chairwoman, condemning Donald [t]Rump and Marco Rubio for speaking at an anti-LGBT  gathering on the two month anniversary of the Pulse nightclub mass shootings:

“Instead of honoring the memory of those we lost at Pulse two months ago, Donald Trump and Marco Rubio have come to Orlando to headline a gathering of some of the nation’s most incendiary anti-gay bigots. We at the DNC join all people of good conscience in expressing our solidarity with the Orlando LGBT community as they continue to grieve the deadliest shooting in American history. We suggest Trump and Rubio disavow these anti-gay extremists who have likened gay people to Nazis and characterized HIV/AIDS as divine ‘penalties’ for being gay. Failing to do so will be yet another example of the utter lack of judgment that makes Trump unfit to serve.”

And another reason to Vote Blue to keep the bigots and haters out of office.

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