Bobservations

On Tuesday Carlos was being driven to Columbia for a court interpretation and I was gleefully dancing at the thought of having the house to myself for short time. But then he told me Blue-Eyed Paul was coming to repair the dryer and would call when he was on his way. I said that was fine because …

“Paul lets me hold his tool while he works.”

“He what?”

“I get to hold his tool while he works.”

Just then he got a text that the court case was postponed and he looked at me and smiled and said he was staying home.

“Damn! Then I won’t be able to hold Paul’s tool?”

“Sweetheart, I can’t see a thing. He could be here now with his tool in your hand and I wouldn’t know.”

Truth.

This Tuxedo Tale, co-starring MaxGoldberg, is from September 2009 and is one of the rare instances when these two boys were not getting along and it reminded me of an old TV show …

“Tuxedo Carrington and MaxGoldberg Carrington Colby Dexter are ready to go at it … I can't wait until one of them pushes the other into the fishpond on the Carrington Estate!”

Seriously? A planned U.K. production of Dreamgirls has been canceled after the rights holders withdrew permission for the show to move forward following complaints over the production’s casting. The Gillian Banks Creative Productions saw their show cancelled after announcing a Dreamgirls cast in which nearly all of the principal roles, with the exception of Curtis, were played by white performers.

Yes, a musical about the rise and fall of a Black all-girl singing group in the 1960s was recast with all-white performers.

Make it make sense.

On February 2, 2009, just thirteen days into his presidency, Barack Obama finished a meeting in the Oval Office with Jim Douglas about the nation’s economic recovery efforts. As photographers prepared to leave the room, Obama noticed something out of place: the sofas had been shifted to make room for the press setup and had not yet been returned. Instead of stepping away and waiting for staff to handle it, Obama simply walked over, grabbed one end of a sofa, and asked Douglas to help move it back.

White House photographer Pete Souza captured the moment, and the photograph quickly became one of the most widely shared images from the early Obama years and still speaks volumes about the kind of human Barack Obama has always been.

Remember that entitled tourist I posted about last week who hurled a rock at an endangered Hawaiian monk seal?

Well, he’s been identified as Igor Lytvynchuk who claims he was actually doing a good thing … by trying to save a pair of helpless turtles.

Lytvynchuk is now facing federal charges. If convicted, he faces faces up to one year in prison for each charge and a fine of up to $50,000 under the Endangered Species Act and a fine of up to $20,000 under the Marine Mammal Protection Act.

I guess it’s good he’s rich, eh?

In an interview with Variety, writer Madison Sinclair revealed just one of the jokes—about Melanie and MAGA comedian Tony Hinchcliffe—that was cut  from Netflix's The Roast of Kevin Hart:

“Tony is like Melania: The only thing relevant about him is that he opened for Trump once, too.”

Snap!

Cankles’ showed off his brilliance the other day by coining a new word, and explained it like a toddler:

“Dumocrats. Because they’re dumb, I—they’re dumb. It’s D-U-M. I got rid of the B. So you’re only changing one letter, right? E goes, the U comes.”

That only made many in the Democrat party opt to rename the GOP as the “Rape-ublican party.”

Eren Semerci is a Turkish fashion model, actor, and television personality who appeared on a version of Survivor, so Would You Hit It?

Bobservations

This Tale of Tuxedo is from June 2009 and entitled The Tuesday Tuxedo:

I loves me some Tuxedo.

We rescued him from life as a blood donor in an animal hospital in Miami. They said he was mean; unadoptable....is that a word? Nothing but trouble. And he was, for the first few days.

Now, four years later he's a loving cat who follows you around the house, sits in the kitchen when you cook, and plays catch the reflection in the bathroom before we go to bed.

He's my boy. I call him 'My boy' just to irk Carlos, and it does.

But anyway, enough of the love story between me and el gato. What I wanted to point out was how he sits at the top of the chair in our home office; his hind claws dug in for support and his front legs dangling down either side.

Cute. Right?

Not so much. He sits like that because he was declawed by a veterinarian who thought it might make him a better candidate for adoption. You know, less mean and aggressive. So they cut off his fingers; cat's claws are not like our fingernails, they are like our fingers. Cats use them to scratch and groom themselves, to pick up things, to play with things, and for protection. Cutting off his fingers wasn't a good idea. It didn't make him less aggressive, it made him more aggressive because now he has only his back feet and claws to use as a defense.

So, if you have a cat or want a cat, don't, don't, let anyone talk you into cutting off their fingers. If you want to declaw a cat because you have a leather sofa, or pretty velvet drapes, then either get rid of the cat or get rid of the couch and drapes. Or do like Carlos and I have done, train your cats not to claw the furniture. Because even though they don't show it, they are listening.

Thanks for coming to my TED Talk.

When bullets fly where old powerful white men gather, suddenly a ballroom is a necessary solution but when school kids are targeted those same old powerful white men are speechless. 

Ernie Dosio, a millionaire big game hunter was out shooting yellow-backed duiker, a species of antelope, in Gabon when he and his guide surprised five female elephants with a calf in the Lope-Okanda rainforest.

He was trampled to death by that herd of elephants; the guide was left severely injured in the attack.

Sorry, not sorry.

Instead of going after Comey for a photo of seashells, they should be investigating the current President for threatening to kill an entire civilization.

PS 86 is a restaurant term for being out of something—86 soup means you’re out of soup—it has never meant kill.

Former Friends star Lisa Kudrow has revealed what kind of residuals the stars are earning now, twenty years after the show ended its run.

Sidenote: the cast renegotiated their contracts after the first year as a team so they would all be paid the same amount of money and each received $1 million an episode.

Now, as the show thrives in reruns each Friend still collects a whopping $20 million a year in residuals.

I knew I should have gotten the part on that show when I auditioned, but they went with Aniston instead!

Bobby Kennedy shared a screenshot of his father, RFK Jr.’s message after the “shooting” over the weekend; Bobby wrote:

"Pops you OK"

RFK Jr.'s current wife, actor Cheryl Hines, responded:

"Yes! Was crazy! Bobby’s security team came in so fast & took us out of the building. They were lifting me over chairs!"

When RFK Jr. finally responded, he gave his status:

"im really hungry"

Doesn’t sound so dangerous after all.

Luc Defont-Saviard is a prominent French fashion model recognized for his work with top luxury brands and international fashion houses and who lives in Nice, France; Nice is nice so Would You Hit It?

Bobservations

This Tale of Carlos is about Carlos and Thomas, the cat.

Years before Carlos and I met, he would walk his dog through the neighborhood and one day he came upon this very large cat sitting on a fence post. As he and the dog passed the cat jumped down and followed them. On the return trip home, the cat climbed back onto the fence post to ... wait for someone else I guess?

This happened for weeks and each day the cat would follow Carlos and the dog closer to Carlos’ house until one day he came into the house and never left. Thomas, he was named, and Carlos took him to the animal hospital where he worked to see if Thomas could be adopted out since no one from the neighborhood claimed him. Carlos gave Thomas in a cat bed on the counter but Thomas wouldn’t lay down; he sat upright and refused to move until a client came in and then he’d scare them by turning his head—many thought he was a stuffed cat.

But no one took him home so Carlos kept him, and I met him a few years later and he was a beast, but a lovable beast. He liked to travel the neighborhood and lay in people’s yards but then come home to us for dinner sand bed. One day Thomas didn’t return and a neighbor came to tell us that their dog had chased Thomas, who by then was too old to run fast, and killed him. The neighbor assumed that a silk orchid and a Publix gift card was the right gift for having your cat killed.

Carlos and I cried because the beast was gone but he had a darn fine life with Carlos, and then me and the dog and seven other cats.

And here he is …

This Tale of Tuxedo is from way back in June 2009 …

Apparently somebody had a rough night, because, right after breakfast, he was back in bed. Perhaps this explains the empty bottle of vodka I found under the couch.

He was his daddy’s boy!

Caitlyn Jenner recently admitted to something we all knew … she’s a hypocrite, who worked against transwomen in sports while she played in the Pro/Am golf circuit … and now she’s playing the Poor Me card. See, she is begging Cankles for help after the gender marker on her passport was changed from female to male and crying about it on Fox News:

“Recently, I had my passport, I had to get it renewed. I sent it back, comes back gender marker ‘M’ … So now … what do I do? This is a safety factor. I can’t travel internationally anymore. I can’t use my passport.”

Neither can any other trans person you coward but you only care about it when it affects you personally even though you voted for it.

Take a fucking seat.

A little-known fact about me was that I ran track in high school and college. I was pretty good except for when we had meets against this other school and I always placed second to this other guy. No matter how I tried I could never ever get ahead of him and to this day I cannot think of why that happened.

That Woman’s facelift is ALLEGEDLY not keeping up with the Kardashian matriarch. Rumor has is that she is very unhappy that her $100,000 facelift is failing almost a year after getting the procedure done. And so now she’s looking into a “revision” after comparing her results to those of her fellow celebrities …

… Before her new face completely slides off and reveals her actual lizard mug.

See, l

Poor Kristi DogKiller Noem has had a rough few weeks ... after getting fired mid-speech at a Nashville conference ... and after ALLEGEDLY finding out about her husband Bryon’s bimbofication fetish ... after claiming to be “blindsided” by Byron’s addiction until the story broke that Bryon had gone to a Christian-based counseling back rehab in January which she knew about.

See, like Cankles, when Kristi’s lips move she’s either lying or blowing Corey on a jet. But now it appears that Cankles—who humiliated her by promising  a fake job to make sure she missed the filing deadline to run for a Senate seat—is about to hire Cameron Hamilton to run FEMA … a year after Noem fired him from that job.

Karma is a bitch, and somewhere Cricket the dog is laughing!

Remember when the Texas GOP voted to redraw the districts in their state to give an edge to the Rapist-Racist-Fascist-Pedophile In-Chief and then cheered at the thought of taking away the will of the people?

Well, in Virginia they put a redistricting measure on the ballot and the people of Virginia voted Yes.

Guess which outcome has the GOP in tears?

Matteo Ferri is a 25-year-old Italian model now based in New York City, you know, so he’s close by … soooooo, Would You Hit It?

Bobservations

The other night, as Carlos was getting into bed,  I went into the bathroom and closed the door. My phone was charging on the counter so I quickly checked my messages but then dropped the phone on the counter. I thought nothing of it and went into the back part of the bathroom, sat down and was doing some business when, from the other side of the door:

“Did you call me?”

“Why would I call you?”

“My phone says you called me.”

“Can we discuss this when I’m finished in here?”

So, I finished and went to get into bed and I asked again:

“Why would I call you?”

“I thought you fell.”

“And so I reached up from the floor to the counter, took my phone and called you? Why wouldn’t I just shout, ‘I’ve fallen and I can get up?’”

“I thought maybe you were unconscious—”

“Unconscious but still able to stand, find the phone and call you but not shout your name or, I dunno, walk out of the room?”

“Go to bed.”

“Let me get my phone and call you …”

Laughter ensued.

This Tuxedo Says is from July 2021 …

Again, Tuxedo isn’t allowed to vote, but if he could, he clearly comes down on the other side of that party.

I cringe to think of what he might say if he saw that party and what they were doing today.

I saw a preview of a new film on TV and nearly died …

“Melanie” is an American … hold for laughter … political documentary film directed and produced by Brett Ratner that documents the First Hooker of the United States, in the twenty days before her rapist husband’s second presidential inauguration.

I don’t like the name … I like “From Whore House to White House” or “I Became a Millionaire Flat on My Back” or “I’m In The Files, Too” or “Sloppy Slovenian Hooker.”

What do you think it should be called?

Please remember that Turning Point USA was founded in 2012 by Charlie Kirk and Bill Montgomery with two major priorities: fighting COVID restrictions and gun control.

Montgomery died of COVID. Kirk was shot to death. Karma is real.

Little Marco Rubio and Pammy Pedophile Protector Bondi are saying that Maduro will stand trial in an American courtroom.

So, does that mean the US can prosecute foreign leaders even when it doesn’t hold its own president accountable for his crimes.

The hypocrisy is real … real stupid.

Everyone seems really surprised that Nicki Minaj has suddenly gone full MAGAt Cult Member but it happened just as she’s about to lose her $20,000,000 mansion and her husband needs a pardon.

She’s taking the grift route … sell your soul to save your life.

MAGAts cheered when businesses were told they could discriminate against people, but when a Hilton Hotel refuses to allow ICE a play to stay, the cult goes nuts.

Again, the hypocrisy is real … stupid.

And while we’re on stupid … here’s Cankles and his band of drunken traitors holding court during the attack on Venezuela. Note the black curtains … this was staged at Mar-Illegal where he wanted to look like Obama when bin Laden was killed but … Cankles phone is unplugged.

You cannot make this shiz up.

Matias Piana is a Miami-born model with Italian and Uruguayan roots who speaks English, Spanish, and Italian and so anyway you ask it: Would You Hit It? … ¿Lo golpearías? … Lo faresti?

Bobservations

Every Sunday morning Carlos makes pancakes and café con leche for breakfast; this past Sunday, after he finished the coffee, I started to clean the espresso machine and noticed the hopper had no coffee grounds in it. At first I thought the grounds were stuck inside the machine, but no … it wasn’t that. Carlos had forgotten to put coffee in the hopper when he made the coffee and was going to serve steamed milk and hot water! I laughed hysterically and told him I would put it on my blog.

Later in the day, however, I’d forgotten the story and asked him to remind me of what had happened, which surprisingly he did, but then added:

“Oh, is someone getting old and forgetful?”

“Says the guy who forgot to put coffee in the espresso machine?”

Never a dull moment.

This Tuxedo Memory is from January 2017 right before we went to Miami for a long weekend and is entitled:

“This.That.

Tuxedo wanted to go and tried to stowaway in a suitcase but, alas, was unsuccessful.”

Every time we packed for a trip, or even a quick getaway, Tuxedo would pout and sulk, and then lay down inside the suitcase in the hopes that we wouldn’t seem him.

On the stand this week Michael Cohen recalled asking Hair Furor how Melanie was taking all the news of him schtupping the porn star and then paying her off and, ever the gentleman who clearly loves his wife, Hair Furor said:

“How long do you think I’ll be on the market for? Not long.”

He didn’t care about Melanie, only the damage the story would have on his campaign.

From my last job interview:

Interviewer: Are there any accomplishments from your last job that you’re particularly proud of?

Me: I’m responsible for ten new rules in the employee handbook.

Interviewer: That’s great! You wrote them?

Me: That’s not what I said.

And yet I got the job and I bet my boss loves/hates it every day!

A federal judge has rejected another request from former Hair Furor minion Peter Navarro to cut his four-month prison sentence short. Navarro is in prison for contempt of Congress after ducking a subpoena from the House committee that investigated the January 6 insurrection and asked Judge Amit Mehta to cut 30 days off his sentence in exchange for 30 days of supervised release.

Mehta said no.

Sorry, not sorry traitor.

The other day I read a story about Rudy Giuliani’s latest whine about The Big Lie and crying about his victim hood, and I went to Twitter, er, X, to post about it using my usual Rudy hashtag, #DrunkleRudy, to describe him. I also wanted to tag him so I went to his X page and saw this:

My day had been made; I felt almost as good as when the late Kirstie Alley blocked me.

Make this make sense: nearly one in five voters in battleground states say that President Biden is responsible for ending Roe v Wade, despite the fact that he supports abortion rights and that it was the three judges Hair Furor appointed who made it possible to overturn Roe.

According to pollsters, however, those voters are Hair Furor supporters AKA voters and are clearly less educated.

MAGAts are stupid? You don’t say?

Mitch Walker is an Australian model-actor with a bachelor’s degree in psychology, but Would You Hit It?