Matt Gaetz, [Q-FL], suddenly announcing
he has a new career lined up on the very same day it was announced he was being
investigated for child sex trafficking: “Yes. I’ve had many conversations with many
people about life after Congress. These conversations have been very general in
nature and have never included me soliciting or receiving an offer of
employment. There is not a single conservative television station I haven’t had
a passing conversation with about life after Congress. I have neither received
nor solicited offers from any of them. But yes, I’ve talked to either
executives, producers or hosts at Newsmax, OAN, Fox, Fox Business, Real
America’s Voice and probably others I’m forgetting in this moment as I focus
intently on refuting false accusations against me.” Nice try, Matt, but then a Fox News spokesman
said: “No one with any level of authority has had
conversations with Matt Gaetz for any of our platforms and we have no interest
in hiring him.” Ouch. But I hear they’re hiring at the prison
laundry. Though sex traffickers might not be allowed in Gen Pop. |
Chris Columbus, film director, not the murderer of
Native Peoples, has confirmed the existence of an R-rated version of Robin Williams’ Mrs.
Doubtfire: "The reality is that there was a deal between Robin and myself, which was, he’ll do one or two, three scripted takes. And then he would say, ‘Then let me play.’ And we would basically go on anywhere between 15 to 22 takes, I think 22 being the most I remember. He would sometimes go into territory that wouldn’t be appropriate for a PG … " I sure hope they release it because I need some Williams
riffing without barriers! Plus an NC-17 Doubtfire would be a riot! |
Lindsey Graham, today on Fox News Sunday: “I would challenge [Chuck Schumer] to bring the assault
weapons ban to the floor of the United States Senate. It won’t get 50 votes,
much less 60. I own an AR-15. If there’s a natural disaster in South Carolina
where the cops can’t protect my neighborhood, my house will be the last ones
that the gangs will come to because I can defend myself.” Bitch, please, you’d be too busy cowering in a corner,
clutching your pearls, and wishing you had a man in the house to fire a gun.
Hell, you’d probably shoot yourself first. |
Mick Mulvaney, former chief of
staff for the twice-impeached, one-term loser, calling his former boss a
bit of a liar about the Capitol riots: “I was surprised to hear the President say
that. Clearly there were people who were behaving themselves, and then there
were people who absolutely were not. But to come out and say that everyone was
fine and there was no risk, that’s just manifestly false—people died, other
people were severely injured. It’s not right to say there was no risk, I don’t
know how you can say that when people were killed.” Nice Mick, but, um, yeah, then why did you
also add that you’d vote for him in 2024? Cuz you like working with blatant
liars? |
Michele Bachman, speaking on a “prayer call” about
the current president: “I want everyone to realize what we’re living
through and what we’re witnessing is a coup. This is called a coup, and a coup
is a political term, and what it means is an unlawful, unauthorized takeover of
a legitimate government. America had a legitimate government, but this is an
unauthorized, illegal takeover through voter fraud in last November’s election,
and now H.R. 1 [will] forever cement that illegal takeover into place. Make no
mistake about it—what we’re watching is a coup. You see this in third-world
countries. It’s happening in the greatest country in the world, the United
States, but it is a coup.” Oh Michele, instead of just speaking out of
your ass, prove voter fraud; prove it. Go ahead, we’ll wait while an
actual decent human being and legitimately elected president rights this ship. And then, ma’am, kindly fuck all the way off. |
Billy
Porter,
actor, singer, fashion icon, on his life, good and bad, after arriving at the
Oscars in that custom Christian Siriano tuxedo gown: “I
thought back to when my friend Idina Menzel was at the Oscars [in 2014] to sing
‘Let It Go,’ from Frozen, and John Travolta mispronounced her name onstage I
literally said out loud, ‘She’s going to be a household name in less than 24
hours.’ And she was. As funny as it may sound, I’m a businessman, and wearing
that [Oscars] dress was a business decision, in a sense. People were like, ‘Oh,
he’s just trying to get attention.’ Well, yeah, I’m in show business! It’s part
of my job. Otherwise, I don’t eat. I used to get frustrated that women could
wear whatever they wanted and men had to show up in the same penguin suit. The
reason why women wearing pants is considered OK by society’s standards is
because it comes from the patriarchy. The patriarchy is male, so suits are
strong, and anything feminine is weak. I was sick of that discussion, and I
knew my platform allowed me to challenge it. [The hate from the right] was
based on this idea that I’m coming to get their children because of the way I
dress. What is that? I’m over here minding my own business. So why is it
triggering you? At that moment, I was grateful that I am a man of a certain
age, because when you become a certain age, zero f—s are given. I don’t now,
nor will I ever, adjudicate my life or my humanity in [other people's] sound
bites or responses on social media. Simultaneously, it still hurts to have
people come after me for nothing. When Lady Gaga dresses up and performs a song
on TV as if she’s a man [Jo Calderone at the 2011 MTV VMAs], no one bats an
eye. They receive her as an artist who’s playing with different silhouettes and
ideas. Same with David Bowie. When white and straight people do it, they’re
considered artists. When I do it, I’m a perversion. The answer to that from me
is no.” After
the Oscars Porter was invited to appear on Sesame Street in his Siriano gown,
and then Jason Rapert, a Republican Arkansas state senator, slammed PBS for
using taxpayer dollars to promote, ahem, “a radical LGBTQ+ agenda,” adding that
he could pass a bill to “cut off all funding” to the network. Luckily,
like Porter, Sesame Street has been around a while and they also have zero
fucks to give. |