Bobservations

This Tale of Carlos is about Carlos and Thomas, the cat.

Years before Carlos and I met, he would walk his dog through the neighborhood and one day he came upon this very large cat sitting on a fence post. As he and the dog passed the cat jumped down and followed them. On the return trip home, the cat climbed back onto the fence post to ... wait for someone else I guess?

This happened for weeks and each day the cat would follow Carlos and the dog closer to Carlos’ house until one day he came into the house and never left. Thomas, he was named, and Carlos took him to the animal hospital where he worked to see if Thomas could be adopted out since no one from the neighborhood claimed him. Carlos gave Thomas in a cat bed on the counter but Thomas wouldn’t lay down; he sat upright and refused to move until a client came in and then he’d scare them by turning his head—many thought he was a stuffed cat.

But no one took him home so Carlos kept him, and I met him a few years later and he was a beast, but a lovable beast. He liked to travel the neighborhood and lay in people’s yards but then come home to us for dinner sand bed. One day Thomas didn’t return and a neighbor came to tell us that their dog had chased Thomas, who by then was too old to run fast, and killed him. The neighbor assumed that a silk orchid and a Publix gift card was the right gift for having your cat killed.

Carlos and I cried because the beast was gone but he had a darn fine life with Carlos, and then me and the dog and seven other cats.

And here he is …

This Tale of Tuxedo is from way back in June 2009 …

Apparently somebody had a rough night, because, right after breakfast, he was back in bed. Perhaps this explains the empty bottle of vodka I found under the couch.

He was his daddy’s boy!

Caitlyn Jenner recently admitted to something we all knew … she’s a hypocrite, who worked against transwomen in sports while she played in the Pro/Am golf circuit … and now she’s playing the Poor Me card. See, she is begging Cankles for help after the gender marker on her passport was changed from female to male and crying about it on Fox News:

“Recently, I had my passport, I had to get it renewed. I sent it back, comes back gender marker ‘M’ … So now … what do I do? This is a safety factor. I can’t travel internationally anymore. I can’t use my passport.”

Neither can any other trans person you coward but you only care about it when it affects you personally even though you voted for it.

Take a fucking seat.

A little-known fact about me was that I ran track in high school and college. I was pretty good except for when we had meets against this other school and I always placed second to this other guy. No matter how I tried I could never ever get ahead of him and to this day I cannot think of why that happened.

That Woman’s facelift is ALLEGEDLY not keeping up with the Kardashian matriarch. Rumor has is that she is very unhappy that her $100,000 facelift is failing almost a year after getting the procedure done. And so now she’s looking into a “revision” after comparing her results to those of her fellow celebrities …

… Before her new face completely slides off and reveals her actual lizard mug.

See, l

Poor Kristi DogKiller Noem has had a rough few weeks ... after getting fired mid-speech at a Nashville conference ... and after ALLEGEDLY finding out about her husband Bryon’s bimbofication fetish ... after claiming to be “blindsided” by Byron’s addiction until the story broke that Bryon had gone to a Christian-based counseling back rehab in January which she knew about.

See, like Cankles, when Kristi’s lips move she’s either lying or blowing Corey on a jet. But now it appears that Cankles—who humiliated her by promising  a fake job to make sure she missed the filing deadline to run for a Senate seat—is about to hire Cameron Hamilton to run FEMA … a year after Noem fired him from that job.

Karma is a bitch, and somewhere Cricket the dog is laughing!

Remember when the Texas GOP voted to redraw the districts in their state to give an edge to the Rapist-Racist-Fascist-Pedophile In-Chief and then cheered at the thought of taking away the will of the people?

Well, in Virginia they put a redistricting measure on the ballot and the people of Virginia voted Yes.

Guess which outcome has the GOP in tears?

Matteo Ferri is a 25-year-old Italian model now based in New York City, you know, so he’s close by … soooooo, Would You Hit It?

Bobservations

First off …. Cheers to Mamdani and Sherrill and Spanberger, and Prop 50 in California, along with local races everywhere. If you needed proof that we can do this, that we can end the Fat Fascist Fuck’s regime, here’s the evidence.

The march goes on …

Vote Blue.

Cast a GODDAMNED vote!

We’ve been having some cold mornings in Camden for the last week or so and every morning, between the alarm and the chill, it’s The Carlos of it all.

One morning I lay awake as the sun was coming through the window; Carlos stirred and mumbled:

“Siri? What time is it?”

“It’s 6:55.”

“Oh god. I wanted to sleep until seven.”

Seriously. And now with the chill, between griping about waking up three to five minutes early, he had taken to asking the temperature:

“Siri? What’s the temperature?”

“It’s 38 degrees.”

“Oh god.”

Oh God has become my new alarm clock and weather report!

This Tuxedo Says is from May 27, 2021, when there was lots of talk about essential workers …

 “To be fair, the ‘essential workers’ in Tuxedo’s life are the ones who put food in his dish, who let him nap on the table on the deck after a walkabout in the yard, and who hold him on their shoulders so he can sleep. But, then again, he’s always grateful.”

That was my boy.

Jonathan Bailey … one of the many Husbands-In-My-Head … is the first out gay man to be named People’s Sexiest Man Alive and said:

“It’s a huge honor. Obviously, I’m incredibly flattered. And it’s completely absurd.”

Not at all, Johhny, not at all.

Never forget Cankles hates transgender people and Caitlyn Jenner is a self-loathing POS.

Loyola University in New Orleans has just rejected the application of Charlie Kirk’s Hate Group, AKA Turning Point USA, to become a recognized student group.

This is The Resistance at work.

Congratulations to the Netherlands where centrist leader Rob Jetten clinched a razor-thin election win over far-right Cankles-esque lawmaker Geert Wilders. The result puts the charismatic Jetten on track to become the country’s youngest and first openly gay prime minister.

Listen up voters, we can do that here, too.

PS He also gets the hot vote.

Diane Ladd, one of the great actors,  who starred in film classics like "Alice Doesn't Live Here Anymore" and "Chinatown," died this week at age 89.

She will be missed.

PS War Criminal Dick Cheney also died this week.

Lastly, always remember and never forget, that our current government would rather zip-tie American children with your tax dollars, but not feed them.

Pray about that at church.

Mase Somanlall is a Guyanese/Canadian fashion model represented by the D Management Group, SUPA Model Management and Anita Norris Models but enough about that … Would You Hit It? 

I Didn't Say It ...

Caitlyn Jenner, that self-loathing, lying, hypocritical, pandering trans woman, outraged that Biden proclaimed Easter Sunday as Transgender Day of Visibility:

“I am absolutely disgusted that Joe Biden has declared the most Holy of Holy days—a self-proclaimed devout Catholic—as Transgender Day of Visibility. The only thing you should be declaring on this day is ‘HE is Risen’.”

This idiot seems completely unaware that Transgender Day of Visibility always falls on March 31, while Easter’s date changes every single year. But why worry about speaking the truth when you’re a self-loathing, lying, hypocritical, pandering trans woman looking to make yourself appear relevant to MAGAts who already hate you.

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Karine Jean-Pierre, White House press secretary, telling the world what most of us already know … that Transgender Day of Visibility wasn’t declared so this past Sunday to take the shine off Easter:

“Every year for the past several years on March 31, Transgender Day of Visibility is marked. And, as we know, for folks who understand the calendar and how it works, Easter falls on different Sundays, right? Every year. And this year, it happens to coincide with Transgender Visibility Day. We were, at first, I want to be very clear, confused on the coverage [but] we’re grateful that Fox agrees with President Biden on the importance of recognizing Trans Day of Visibility. And I’ll just quote something that Fox said back in 2021. They tweeted this: ‘Trans Day of Visibility is dedicated to celebrating transgender people. To all the transgender men, women and nonbinary folk, we see you and stand with you.'”

Double snap.

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Gerry Connolly, Democrat Representative from Virginia, criticizing a recently-introduced GOP bill to rename Washington Dulles International Airport after Hair Furor:

“Donald Trump is facing 91 felony charges. If Republicans want to name something after him, I’d suggest they find a federal prison.”

Snap.

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Tammy Bruce, conservative radio host,  brazenly lying about a liar:

“We’ve always seen honesty with [Thing 45]. One thing about that guy is that you know who he is. He is always going to be himself; he never adjusts the nature of what he’s going to say or do to trick people or to pander. He cares about—not just police officers and the firefighters—but the nature of blue-collar work. Regular everyday anonymous heroes in this country putting their lives on the line to keep their own communities safe. That is the ultimate of the American ideal. And so, that is [Thing 45].”

Bruce said this on Fox News which paid out a nearly $800 million settlement for Hair Furor’s lies.

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Mark Esper, Hair Furor’s former Secretary of Defense saying he will not vote for his former boss in November:

“There’s no way I’ll vote for [him], but every day that [he] does something crazy, the door to voting for Biden opens a little bit more, and that’s where I’m at. I believe he’s a threat to democracy and we should be very mindful of that. The first year of a second [Thing 45] term will look like the last year of the first Trump term, in other words, with all the craziness.”

All the craziness doubled, tripled quadrupled.

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Cher, on men deciding women’s health care options:

“If every time men had sex, they risked death, physical disability, a life altering interruption in their education or career, and the sudden lifelong responsibility for another human being, I think they’d expect a choice in the matter.”

Yup, if men could get pregnant, abortion clinics would spring up like Starbucks on every corner.

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It's Monday and I'm ...

Rumor has it the Republican asshat and self-loathing trans woman Caitlyn Jenner is writing a tell-all book to punish the Kardastrophe Klan for being mean to her as she transitioned. Jenner now claims she no longer speaks to ex-wife Kris Jenner and is no longer "close" to the reality TV family. An insider claims even Kendall and Kylie have "turned their backs" on Caitlyn:

"Caitlyn figures she has nothing to lose, so she's going to write the whole truth and make them sorry for shunning her."

So she’s gonna trash her ex-wife, her step-children, and her children because they didn’t help her launch her own reality show? Is she also gonna talk about how she thinks transwomen should not be allowed to participate in sports … unless it’s golf, which is Caitlyn’s favorite sport?

Nah, she’ll leave the hypocrisy out.

This has ick written all over it.

Y’all remember when Good Morning America news anchors TJ Holmes and Amy Robach got busted for cheating on their spouses and were fired from ABC? Yeah, well TJ and Amy are apparently still going strong so what’s the ick, you say?

That would be the news that TJ’s ex-wife, Marilee Fiebig, and Amy’s ex-husband, Andrew Shue, are now dating.

Ick.

Thirsty ex-actress Jada Pinkett Smith now says said Will Smith’s infamous 2022 Oscars slap saved their marriage after they had been separated and living apart for seven years:

“After all those years trying to figure out if I would leave Will’s side, it took that slap for me to see I will never leave him.”

Huh? What? All it takes to keep Jada by your side if for you to bitch-slap an Oscar host over a dumb joke? Is that her idea of love? Of that marriage saving slap Jada says:

“I call it the ‘holy slap’ now because so many positive things came after it.”

Her husband’s career crashed and burned, the academy shunned him Chris Rock turned him and Jada into punchlines … help me see the positive here.

Oh, Jada gets more attention.

And what does Will get? Well, from the looks of Mr. Smith in Miami without his wife, he gets  a new girlfriend.

Little Willie—his nickname from the guy who claims he walked in on Will on the receiving end of some anal sex with Duane Martin—was seen leaving Miami’s Art Basel with a woman who looks a little like Jada Pinkett Smith.

Maybe Will just wants a Jada who doesn’t use him to feed her ego, and her little Facebook talk show?

I Didn't Say It

Caitlyn Jenner, who believes “biological boys who are trans” should be banned from participating in sports as their gender identity, now says there’s one exception to that rule:

“I’ve been very consistent with how I’ve tried to approach this, transgender athletes. It really depends on the sport. Every sport is different. Obviously, we saw with Lia Thomas [University of Pennsylvania swimmer], she had gone through male puberty, bigger cardiovascular system, it just wasn’t fair. Golf is a totally different game. It is a game of touch and feel. It is about your ability around the green, to get the ball out of the bunker. [Golfer Hailey Davidson’]s playing within the rules.”

There’s another difference between swimming and golf: Jenner participates in women’s golf tournaments herself, and if she kept her stance on banning trans women from sports then she would find herself banned. Caitlyn Jenner is a self-loathing hypocrite; banning trans women is fine for any sport in which Jenner chooses not to participate, but she’ll find any exception to the rule for the games she plays.

She can kindly fuck all the way off.

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Jared Kushner, proving he’s as delusional as his father-in-law:

“For the last year, the one thing I’ve tried to put a priority on since leaving the White House is to getting some exercise in. My generation is, hopefully with the advances in science, the first generation that’s going to live forever or the last generation that’s going to die. So we need to keep ourselves in pretty good shape.”

Oh, I do think Kushner will be around forever, because he’s clearly a mannequin, and plastic can last for eons.

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Mike Turner, GOP congressman and Thing 45 whipping boy, on those classified documents stolen from the White House and taken to Mar-a-Lago:

“Certainly we all know that every former president has access to their documents. That’s how they write their memoirs. They don’t have, you know, great recall of everything that occurred in their administration. And we don’t know that they were classified. We know according to the FBI documents that they were identified as marked classified.”

They may have “access” to them, but they cannot take them with them when they are run out of office., No other president has done this, but the GOP thinks it’s okay because when their Traitorous Hair Furor  does it.

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Liz Cheney, on Kevin McCarthy:

“My views about Kevin McCarthy are very clear. The Speaker of the House is the second in line for the presidency. It requires somebody who understands and recognizes their duty, their oath, their obligation and he’s been completely unfaithful to the Constitution and demonstrated a total lack of understanding of the significance and the importance of the role of Speaker, so I don’t believe he should be Speaker of the House. And I think that’s been very clear.”

Snap. Even losing her election, Liz Cheney will still take on the goose-steppers in the GOP.

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I Ain't One To Gossip But ...

A month ago, during an interview with Variety, Kim Kardastrophe claimed that nobody wanted to work anymore, and that her only advice to women in business would be:

“Get your fucking ass up and work.”

And since the statement came out on International Women’s Day Kimmy was hit with scads of backlash, eye rolls, and questions about how she is one to talk since she jumpstarted her “career” by making a sex tape her mother could sell to a porn distributor. And Kim foot-stomped and head-snapped and said the statement was taken out of context except … Variety is saying those are Kim’s words and she needs to own them.

According to Variety, there is an interview video that proves Kimmy was asked:

“What’s your best advice for women in business?”

And she said get to fucking work.

I guess, given how she started her career, she meant to say get to work fucking.

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Last year Ashley Tisdale moved into a new house and began fancying herself an interior designer. She dove headfirst into decorating her new LA pad by scouring that luxe design site … Instagram. But it all paid off because … drum roll … Tisdale scored a coveted celebrity home tour with Architectural Digest! 

The tour begins in Ashley’s “very bright, very Zen” living room, where she shows off her Mario Bellini sofa, antique wicker chairs, marble coffee table, and built-in bookshelves. Oh, so nice, so chic, so tasteful, so fake. See, Tisdale couldn’t stop giggling and told the camera crew that the bookshelves were empty until right before the crew came to record the tour.

Tisdale tells us that she sent her husband, Christopher French, to a bookstore to buy 400 books so their shelves would look full.

Seriously? She couldn’t put art on the shelves, flowers, anything other than 400 random books she bought to look well-read.

I only wish whoever was running the video shoot had asked Ashley to discuss her book collection.

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So, while a lot of folks witnessed that Oscar Slap, there was another smackdown on Oscar night involving one Lady Gaga and one Caitlyn Jenner, and on this one I fall squarely onto Team Gaga.

Gaga, not nominated this year for her accent, skipped the Oscars red carpet, and went to Elton John’s Oscar bash. But I’m guessing security was lacking because one Caitlyn Jenner was allowed to tread the same cream-colored carpet as Gaga and stopped the star to discuss coffee. In a video shared to social media, Caitlyn wanders up to Gaga and asks:

“Are you spending time around Malibu anymore?”

Gaga simply says, “Yes,” and so Caitlyn, who didn’t get the clue to walk away, quickly, wades in deeper and says:

“I haven’t seen you at the Starbucks in a while.”

Gaga, looking a little Who Are You and Why Are You Talking To Me, simply said:

“I’ve switched baristas.”

And walked away.

Note to Little Will Smith: that’s how you slap down.

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Lock up your liquor cabinets and your houses if actor Ezra Miller is coming to town.

The 29-year-old actor—pronouns are they and them—was arrested at a bar in Hilo, Hawaii after ALLEGEDLY shrieking at people, snatching a microphone from a woman singing karaoke, and going after a guy playing darts. Miller was booked on disorderly conduct charges and paid their $500 bail.

This mess started Sunday night when the Hawai’i County Police Department got a call about Drunken Mess, party of one, who was bothering everyone at a bar. The owner of the bar says he asked Miller several times to take it down a notch, but they did not, and so the police were called.

And then it got worse; two Hilo residents filed for a temporary restraining order against Miller claiming he harassed and threatened them.

He had ALLEGEDLY been staying at the couple’s home while in Hawaii, after they met the couple at a farmer’s market. In fact, after that bar skirmish, it was that couple who paid Miller’s bail and brought them back to their home where Miller ALLEGEDLY barged into their bedroom and threatened the male victim by saying "I will bury you and your slut wife’.” The couple also claims Miller stole some personal belongings, including a social security card, wallet, passport, driver’s license and bank cards.

This is not Miller’s first time at being, um, disorderly in public. They were arrested in Pennsylvania for disorderly conduct and drug possession, though those charges were reduced to two citations of disorderly conduct.

In 2020, Miller was escorted out of a bar in Iceland for ALLEGEDLY choking a fan, and in January of this year, they posted an Instagram video telling members of a KKK chapter in North Carolina to kill themselves and threatened to shoot them.

Ezra’s big DC movie, The Flash, comes out next year, and they’re also in Fantastic Beasts: The Secrets of Dumbledore, which comes out next month. Sheesh, just when those Fantastic Beasts actors thought they were done talking about disorderly co-stars when Johnny Depp was fired from the film, and now Ezra Miller has stepped up to the Hot Mess Plate.

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One more story of the slap and I just might be done, thanks to Daniel Radcliffe.

The Harry Potter actor was hoping to stay away from the ongoing discourse surrounding Will Smith’s Hissy Fit and gave the best response when he was asked again what he thought about it.

While appearing on “Good Morning Britain” to promote his new movie, The Lost City, Radcliffe was asked about that slap and smartly said:

“I’m just so already dramatically bored of hearing people’s opinions about it that I just don’t want to be another opinion.”

Thanks Harry, er, Daniel.

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I Ain't One To Gossip But ...

One day last week Kanye West begged Kim Kardastrophe West to “run back” to him.

The next day Kim Kardastrophe West filed documents to become legally single.

Ouch. Kardastrophe also wants to restore her maiden name and officially drop the ‘West’ surname she shares with Kanye and their four children. Ouch.

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Oh for the love of the goddess, I do wish Caitlyn Jenner would sit down and shut up. I mean, I had hoped that after she landed in the bottom, well, below the bottom, in the race to be governor of California, that she’d go away, rethink her life, and come back maybe a little smarter. I.Was.Wrong

Backstory: in 2019 LGBTQ+ ally George Clooney announced he was boycotting the Beverly Hills Hotel because its parent company, the Dorchester Collection, was owned by the Sultan of Brunei, a country that stones The Gays to death, but Caitlyn, not so LGBTQ+ ally-ish,  never said a word about it.

But now Caitlyn is boycotting the Beverly Hills Hotel because … and this is rich … and this is from a71-year-old woman … the hotel refused her entry into the Polo Lounge for breaking their dress code; and Caitlyn will explain, as she did in an Instagram Story:

“@bevhillshotel %$@& your horrible service for not letting me have lunch with this tiny rip in my jeans. Shame on you, Disgusting, I have been a patron for decades. No longer.”

Yes, stoning The Gays to death doesn’t irk Jenner, but not allowing Nana into lunch because she’s dressed like a teenager with ripped jeans set Miss Thing off.

I’ve said it a thousand times and will say it once more: Dear Caitlyn, kindly fuck all the way off.

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There’s nothing more disgusting at Christmas than a tiny self-entitled cult member destroying the environment for a little publicity.

Yes, Little Tommy Cruise ALLEGEDLY flew his private jet across the Atlantic to Los Angeles and then back to England where he’s been filming Mission Impossible: Get Tom To Visit His Daughter Suri to deliver 300 holiday cakes to the crew.

Did he do that because he’s a tiny man with a giant ego, or because there are no bakeries in the UK.

Fuck the environment, it’s Christmas and Tiny Tim, er, Tom, wants to let his crew eat cake.

PS In the photo it looks like Tom ate all the cakes before delivery.

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I have never seen The Goldbergs though for a while I thought it might be a show about my cat, MaxGoldberg. And I had never heard of Jeff Garlin, who plays Murray Goldberg in the show and now that I have, I wish I hadn’t.

Garlin has been fired from the show for “inappropriate behavior,” but he is trying to brush off the kerfuffle by saying his actions were “silly,” and that he was a “hugger” and had never been told that the women he, um, hugged, did not care for it. He also says he never knew he offended anyone, and then says it’s true that the show’s human resources department had spoken with him three times in the last three years about his conduct. Jeff, to his discredit, put it like this:

“If I said something silly and offensive, and I’m working at an insurance company, I think it’s a different situation. If I, as the star of the show, demanded a gun range and on set, and I was firing guns every day and I was a little bit loose—to me, that’s an unsafe work atmosphere. If I threatened people, that’s an unsafe work atmosphere. None of that goes on ever with me. That’s not who I am. I am sorry to tell you that there really is no big story. “

And that’s when the really big story broke and it goes like this: a camera assistant made a complaint about Garlin’s use of the word vagina and after Garlin learned of this he ALLEGEDLY put his hands around her and kept saying “vagina” in her face over and over again. He was also reported for failing to use female crew members’ names, and instead gave them offensive nicknames. The last straw came the day when Jeff ALLEGEDLY went full-asshole on a female stand-in—who is married to a male stand-in—and screamed at her as she walked off the set after blocking a scene:

“Why are you always in my way? Get the fuck out of my way.”

And then he shrieked at the woman’s husband:

“Tell your wife to get the fuck out of my way.”

And to paraphrase another show that has gotten rid of cast members … And Just Like That Jeff Garlin was gone, though not entirely. Since he had one more day of shooting in Season 9 the show will film with his stand-in and … this is the best … will superimpose Garlin’s face into the show in post-production.

MaxGoldberg is said to be disgusted by this smear on his good family name.

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When last we left Madonna she was giving us Wicked Witch of the West in fishnets, Louboutins and a pudgy ass realness, to which her ‘friend’ 50 Cent scoffed at and laughed at and called her out for it. Now, Fiddy apologized after Madge exploded on social media, but our Madonna is so desperate for any kind of publicity—why didn’t she just fly a cake to Fiddy’s house—that she has continued to blast the rapper for being mean to her; she went on Instagram, because that’s what she does, and said:

“Delayed Clap back for 50 cent And his fake apology  ….…..,.. Ive been busy, better late then [sic] never!!! Had. some things I needed to say.”

For the love of the goddess, one would think with all her money Madge could either afford an education, or at least enroll in an English class, or pay someone to post for her. And then she goes on:

“You were trying to shame me. Your apology is fake, it’s bulls–t and it’s not valid. It’s not hard to find footage of me and you hanging out. “Number two [Bob’s note: no clue where ‘Number one’ went], an apology is not valid if you don’t know what you’re apologizing for. What you should be apologizing for is your misogynistic, sexist, ageist behavior and remarks.

“Number three, you didn’t hurt my feelings, because I didn’t take it personally. I could never take it personally because you’re not coming from an enlightened place.

“Number four, you say you’re not benefiting from it. Of course you’re benefiting from it, that is what social media is all about.”

Wow, for someone who didn’t take the apology seriously, she certainly went to town over her displeasure.

Get a life, Madge, seriously.

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