It's Snarkurday!

Last week Kelly Ripa and Michael Strahan won an Emmy for Best Entertainment Talk Show though neither one was present to accept. Personally, I think they should have won for Best Acting In An Entertainment Talk Show in light of what’s gone on at Live with Kelly and Michael this week.

See, a kerfuffle ensued when it was announced that Michael Strahan was leaving Live for GMA and no one … at Live … at GMA … at ABC … bothered to let Kelly in on the news until the story broke. So, Kelly didn’t come into work the next day, though the day after that she did show to declare her pride in Michael Strahan and his move up the ladder. But that’s when all the stories came out about this duo being not so friendly off-screen.

For four years, Kelly and Michael have acted like the best of buddies on-air, but off-air a source — and it’s most likely a jealous Kathie Lee — says the two are so nice-nice. Kelly didn’t like that Michael wasn’t as devoted to the show as she was — though maybe it’s because he took home $4 million a year while Kelly pocketed $20 million — and Kelly hated that Strahan was using Live as a stepping stone to GMA, and that he was a diva.

He would ALLEGEDLY show up late to tapings, and regularly bring his entourage with him, and twice a week he would have the crew stop everything so a stylist could come onset and give him a haircut. And, leading  up to last year’s Halloween episode, Strahan ALLEGEDLY was so difficult that “the producers brought in an audience for [a] pretaped segments so he would behave.” One time Strahan even screamed so loudly at producer Michael Gelman that other producers hid under a staircase.

Now, in light of the bad press, Strahan’s exit has been moved up from September to May, and maybe that’s for the best; if he’s such a diva, let him diva it up with George Stephanopoulos over at GMA. 

I’d say Kelly’s lucky to see him go because, again ALLEGEDLY, she has parlayed the brouhaha into a sizable new annual income. And a few million dollars more does wonders to soothe an ego.

You know, unless you really really really mean it, never call your business The Honest Company. Okay, Jessica Alba? See, it now seems, ALLEGEDLY, that Alba’s company is nothing but lies.

Back in September, The Honest Company was hit with a lawsuit ALLEGING that things labeled “non-toxic” were actually full of synthetic chemicals, and that Alba was being deceptive in using words like “natural.” Then in March, Honest was accused of putting a chemical in their laundry detergent that they swore they had never put in, and now they’re accused of passing non-organic baby formula off as organic.

The Organic Consumers Association [OCA] ALLEGES that 11 of the 40 ingredients listed on their organic infant formula are synthetic substances not allowed in products labeled as organic. In addition, the OCA also ALLEGES that some ingredients are federally regulated as “hazardous compounds,” that one ingredient is “irradiated” and has been assessed as not safe for human foods.

Hazardous? Radioactive? Honestly!

It’s a good thing Dean Sheremet — the man to whom LeAnn Rimes was married when she began schtupping the married-to-someone-else Eddie Cibrian — wrote that cook book about eating your feelings after your relationship blows up because Dean’s second marriage to Sarah Silver is over after just five years.

No word on who Dean has set his sights on next, though maybe it’s just me, but if he married a man next time it might feel a little more right. But, what if he married former Real Housewives of Beverly Hills pot-stirrer, and the ex-Missus Eddie Cibrian, Brandy Glanville?

Imagine all that drama! Imagine LeAnn’s head exploding all over Instagram? It might be worth it.

Kaley Cuoco moves fast. About a month after meeting tennis-player — because I don’t think he has a job — Ryan Sweeting, the duo were married. Then, less than a hot minute, or a hot few months, later, they divorced.

About three months after Kaley ended it with Ryan she hooked up with British actor Paul Blackthorne but that didn’t lead to marriage fast enough, ALLEGEDLY, so Kaley dumped him and started dating Karl Cook, who does something with horses — I dunno, I think he paints the ones on merry-go-rounds.

She’s been seeing Karl for at some six weeks so now she’s all over the Bridal magazines and the engagement ring designers, and, perhaps, keeping her divorce lawyer on speed dial?

I mean, who does she think she is? JLo?

I’ve never been a Madonna fan; I like some of her old stuff, and a very little bit of her new stuff, but Madonna, the human being gives me pause. Or maybe it’s gas. She’s always so try-hard, as evidenced by her ass-bearing outfit at last week’s Met Gala.

But it was also her face — butterface — because, ALLEGEDLY, it hardly moved when she spoke to reporters.  And her attitude.

Page Six says that Madonna and her team ordered the red carpet to be cleared of other celebrities while she jiggled her pale ass cheeks up the stairs. Now, maybe it was her people who said no one should or could stand near her, or maybe it was the others in attendance who steered clear of that ratchet face and that epic fail outfit.

And rumor has it that some celebrities — Katy Perry, Kim and Kanye Kardastrophe, and Naomi Campbell — were miffed by the delay. Luckily, Naomi held tight to her cell phone, lest she toss it and crack Madonna’s English Porcelain Skin, but, ALLEGEDLY, Katy Perry got impatient and yelled up at Madonna:

“Are we ready now? Can we go?”

I like Katy a little better today.

PS As many have said, Madonna is already calling anyone and everyone who hated her look and her frozen face ageist and sexist.

I am also no fan of 50 Cent, and even less so now. Of course, a man who takes private videos of people and posts them, online to embarrass them is already an ass, but when you toss in his penchant for filing bankruptcy to avoid paying off lawsuits, while taking pictures of himself with wads of dough, he becomes a huge asshat.

And now this … 50 Cent recently released a video of himself following Andrew Farrell, a 19-year-old janitor, through the Cincinnati/Northern Kentucky Airport and making fun of how “high” the young man appeared to be.

That’s funny right, when grown-assed ignorant men make fun of people? But … the only problem is that Andrew wasn’t high; he’s autistic and has hearing issues.  Yeah, now it’s funny. And maybe a million dollars of funny, because Andrew’s family has threatened to sue the rapper for being a dick.

So, Fiddy’s people realizing he’s about a Happy Meal aware from welfare checks, had their jackass of a boss release an apology to Andrew:

“While the incident at the airport resulted from an unfortunate misunderstanding, I am truly sorry for offending the young man. It was certainly not my intent to insult him or the disability community, which is a source of great strength in America. I have apologized personally to him and his family.”

F**k off, Fiddy, you’re a disgrace.

Someone named Robert Earl Morgan has accused Little Justin Bieber of destroying his phone at a Houston nightclub last month and Robert earl wants a payday now.

According to the lawsuit, Justin was partying a little too stupid and a little too hard when he first put out a cigarette on his friend’s arm and then commandeered a beer bong and tried to chug it. Sadly, because Justin’s a tool, most of the beer ended up on his face and shirt, which was all captured on video because, yup, Robert Earl had his phone out and was recording the whole thing.

Now, Robert Earl ALLEGES that once Bieber saw that he was being filmed, he grabbed Robert Earl’s cellphone and smashed it … cuz ain’t nobody wanting to see Drunken Bieber.

And so now Robert Earl wants coins … a lot of coins. He says his phone was worth a couple hundred dollars, and claims he never got his SIM card back, which contained pictures from his grandma’s 100th birthday and 5000 pictures from traveling, and also had some business contacts on it and so he wants $100,000.

Seriously? 100K? I would’a sued for ten million and a promise that Justin Bieber never appear in public again.

Now that’s a lawsuit!

Chick fight! Chick fight!

And a stupid chick fight to boot.

Demi Lovato is like super pissed at Nicki Minaj because Nicki did not tag Demi in a photo of the two of them on Instagram taken at the Met Gala last week.

Seriously. It all, started when Nicki posted a picture of herself with Jeremy Scott and Demi at the Met Gala to Instagram. Nicki tagged Jeremy and she also tagged Moschino, the designer who created her gown and Demi’s tinfoil mess, but she … I find it hard to breathe. She.Did.Not.Tag.Demi.

It could’a been an accident; it could’a been shade; it could’a been that Nicki didn’t know it was Demi and just thought it was a cocktail server without her tray.

Whatever the reason, Demi is hurt and fired back because … children.

She first posted a picture of her face, distorted with some filter to make her look all confuzzled, but when that didn’t work and Nicki wouldn’t sit with her at lunch, Demi went further.

She took to Instagram and posted her own picture of Nicki, Jeremy, and herself at the Met Gala but this was a not so flattering picture of Nicki giving Demi the side-eye.

Or maybe she was just looking at that dress and wondering, WTF?

Which is how I reacted to Demi’s mess of a dress.

It's Snarkurday!

Cuba Gooding Jr is out and about promoting The People v OJ Simpson: American Crime Story. He’s good in it, but he looks nothing like OJ so I keep thinking: did Cuba Gooding Jr kill Nicole Brown Simpson?

But this isn’t about that; it’s about the impending $100 million lawsuit Cuba might be facing from Tiny Tom Cruise — with whom he worked in A Few Good Men and Jerry Maguire. You see, while talking up his new gig, someone had the nerve to ask Cuba about Tom Cruise and how his face hasn’t changed — though it seems to have turned to stone — and does Cuba think Tiny Tom went under the knife:

“Absolutely, yes!”

And cue lawsuit. But, wait, maybe Cuba has seen the actual evidence of a little Scientology Surgery on Tom:

"I don't know what he's had done, but I surprised him at his house one day and he had all these little red dots over his face. And I said, 'You alright?' and he said, 'I didn't know you were coming.' And I was like, 'I can see why!'"

A lawsuit and a hit put on him by Co$. Run, Cuba, run!

I love love and I love when people have been married for a while and then renew their vows and their commitment to one another, but … Daisy Fuentes and Richard Marx got married in Los Angeles last week, a mere 60 days from when they tied the knot the first time in Aspen in December.

Try hard much? Publicity seekers much? I see a St Patrick’s Day renewal coming up and maybe a July 4th reboot, too.

Beyoncé dropped her latest weave-whipping, gyrating, pelvic thrust “music” video over the weekend and already there are cried of plagiarism … like when she steals Michael Jackson’s drag for her Super Bowl performance, or rips off Britney Jean Spears’ — or some pole dancer’s — moves for her videos. But this time it’s documentary filmmakers Chris Black and Abteen Bagheri who say Beyoncé, um, lifted some scenes in her video directly from their 2013 film “That B.E.A.T.” and so Chris Black Tweeted:

“New Beyoncé video used hella clips from the doc I produced and directed by @abteem . . . but why!?!?”

And then said:

“I guess it’s flattering that people f - - k with the things you’ve created but also frustrating when they wanna use it like it’s theirs. The funny thing is that our doc is low key iconic so the audacity to rip and pass it off like we not gonna notice. You outta touch b!”

Naturally, Beyoncé released the Flying Monkeys, AKA her legal team, to say they had permission to use the documentary footage even though it appears no one bothered to tell the filmmakers that Beyoncé would be stealing from them. Well, except for Beyoncé’s director, Melina Matsoukas, who Tweeted back that she, um, yeah, had acquired the footage:

“Must give much love to the beautiful NOLA footage shot and directed by @abyewm and @lkeber to make #FORMATION whole.”

Look, Beyoncé is a hybrid of Brit and Michael and Janet and Willow Smith and a slew of pole dancers outta Vegas. Nothing new, nothing real. Nothing of her own.

I don’t know these people, but here goes … someone named  Ciara — real name Ciara Princess Harris — as filed a $15 million lawsuit against her former fiancé and current baby daddy, Future — real name Nayvadius DeMun Wilburn — for slander after he accused her of being a horrible mother to their 1-year-old son Future Zahir because Ciara allowed her current non-sexual life partner, Russell Wilson to be photographed pushing Little Future around in a stroller in  what he deems to be “publicity stunts.” He also went after Ciara on twitter, accusing her of taking $15,000 a month in child support while making him go though lawyers to see their son.

And so Ciara is responding to Future’s rant by coming for a lot more than $15,000 a month because she says she isn’t keeping Big Future from Little Future, and that she’s allowed some 19 visitations since December 2014, the most recent being last week. And she adds that Future — daddy, not son — is just stirring the pot to promote his flailing music career. 

She’s seeking, in addition to the coins, that Big Future erase all the nasty words he wrote about her on Twitter and wants him legally blocked from saying a word about her.

Keep Silent and Give Me More Coins.

A recent picture surfaced of Rocco Ritchie — spawn of Madonna and Guy … not some guy, but Guy Ritchie — smoking what may or may not have been a little joint at a skate park in London and Madonna is said to be using the picture to prove that Guy is Bad Daddy. She’s even hired a private investigator to follow Rocco around and photograph him whenever he does something bad so she can haul their son and her ex into court because she is not getting her way.

Multiple sources connected with Madge says she feels that Guy has set no rules for 15-year-old Rocco and he’s living dangerously … not enrolled in school, hanging out in skate parks, smoking and essentially doing anything he wants. And so she wants him back so she can control his every move.

In the meantime, I think Madonna will release another record, called Parenting and it will feature songs like ‘Stalking My Son,’ ‘Guy’s A Dick,’ and ‘No One, NO ONE, Ignores Me!’

A couple of weeks ago I shared the news that Khloe Kardastrophe has a new talk show, Kocktails With Khloe, a show that apparently no one in Hollywood with a scintilla of decency or integrity would appear on so … Tori Spelling has guested on the chat-show … and she brought the cray.

On the show, Tori admits that when Tori gets drunk, she turns into Terri — short for TerriTORI because the bitch brands everything — and Terri is a mess who apparently likes to pee anywhere and everywhere she wants.

Now, to be fair, Tori claims Terri doesn’t come out that often because Tori has kids and because it’s generally more likely that her husband Dean is the drunk one so he can stay at home with her and not be lead around town by his dick.

But, some say this might be a case of split personality, though I disagree because Tori would have to have a personality already for one to split off from it.

You know …

And speaking of Hollywood blondes who met their husband s because they schtupped them while they were both married to other people … LeAnn Rimes.

Apparently, Miss Adultery, er, LeAnn is miffed that the husband she screwed around on, one Dean Sheremet, keeps talking about her, and not always in a pleasant way because, well, lying adulterer.

And now Dean has the nerve to say the name LeAnn in his new cookbook, high-lariously entitled, Eat Your Heart Out and so LeAnn released the hounds — AKA a crack team of lawyers — on Dean’s ass to remind him that he’d signed a paper to never say “LeAnn” again. LeAnn is worried because it sounds like his cook book might spill some confidential information and violate the terms of their agreement. And they says that although LeAnn doesn’t want to come between Dean and his coins — lest he decide to come after her for more — she doesn’t like him making money off’a her whilst discussing his new recipe Cheating Chicken With Cibrian Sauce.

In response to LeAnn’s letter, Dean hissed that LeAnn was, as usual, making this all about herself.

“I just don’t get it. She already killed my happiness the first time around. [It’s like], ‘Move on already, LeAnn. I’ve moved on!' I’m on people’s radar because of my past with her. I can’t erase my past; I referred to it and was very respectful. I’m not the one who cheated.”

See LeAnn? He’s over it! Put a fork in his My Wife Banged Eddie Cibrian Meatloaf. He’s done.

Oh Shia LaBeouf is making enemies everywhere, even in his own family.

It seems that Shia’s aunt, Sharon Saide, might have to hit up Craig’s List for rooms to rent because Shia has taped an eviction notice to her door, saying he wants her out of her Manhattan apartment because he’s in the middle of a Bitchfest with Sharon’s husband, his uncle, Barry Saide.

See, back in 2014, Shia sued Barry over a 2009 $800,000 loan that Barry felt he shouldn’t have to repay because … Rich Nephew. Well, the courts didn’t like that argument and Barry lost the case. Now, it’s 2016, and Barry still hasn’t paid back the loan and it’s grown to $1 million, thanks to interest and lawyer fees, so Shia decided to take Aunt Sharon’s home.

But Sharon has an ace up her sleeve; she says she bought the apartment with inheritance money from her grandmother and that Barry’s name isn’t anywhere on the ownership papers. And, if that isn’t enough, she says the apartment is worth $2.5 million, far more than Barry owes Shia. Sharon has also accused Shia of trying to “intimidate and pressure” her into handing over her apartment.

How? By showing her one of his films? I know it’d make me run for the hills!

I Ain't One To Gossip But ...

Y’all remember when LeAnn Rimes and Eddie Cibrian started schtupping while co-starring in a LameTime, er, Lifetime movie? They kept it quiet for awhile, until they showed up at a cheesy restaurant in Venice Beach where the paparazzi snapped them holding hands over a plate of chili fries and then all hell broke loose; and by “all hell,” I mean Eddie’s wife-at-the-time, Brandi Glanville.

But one person you didn’t hear from was LeAnn’s husband-at-the-time, Dean Sheremet. He kept himself on the Down Low — and not just because some folks assumed he was gay — and quietly accepted his settlement, er, Go Away check. He moved on to La Grande Apple, enrolled in culinary school and became a chef with a brand new second wife to call his own. But now, he’s ALLEGEDLY ready to talk about Life With LeAnn and has written a book about his marriage to the country crooning cheater.

A source — and, yeah, it’s probably Brandi — says Dean “has received multiple big-money offers from publishers and is deciding who to go with.” And based on their history — remember, she banged Serial Banger Cibrian about ten minutes after meeting him — this won’t paint LeAnn in a good light. Sources say she treated Dean like garbage, never showed any remorse for schtupping her married co-star, and though she gave him some spare change when they divorced, there was never any kind of signed Non-Disclosure Agreement.

Cue Julia Roberts in Pretty Women: “Big mistake. Huge!”

When we last left Lohan it appeared she’d made good on her probation by completing her community service from her arrest for … well, I forget; it was either drugs or drink or jewel theft or kidnapping. But now, Terry White, the prosecutor in her case, is calling bullshiz on the “service” and wants her to do it again or go directly to jail.

White says that London’s community service organization let Lohan do ridiculous things — like getting credit for 18 hours worth of service for meeting and greeting fans after her London play and not stealing their jewelry or running them over with her car — to fulfill her obligation. He also says she was credited with 70 hours for allowing young people to follow her around and carry her bags and her special bottles of “water.” 

He says Lohan had an obligation to inform the court of the types of community service she was doing and says she’s manipulated the system and should do jail time for not completing legitimate community service.

Lindsay’s lawyer, Shawn Holley, told the judge her client merely did what she was told to do by the community service organization, which may have sounded something like this:

Community Service Organization to Criminal Lohan: “Say Hello at the theater door, and let some kids follow you around and you’re done, m’kay?”

I want that kinda community service when I’m found guilty of reckless driving, kidnapping and jewel theft. I mean, c’mon, even Chris Brown had to scrub toilets ...

So … Sean Penn is a pig, but soon he may be Charlize Theron’s pig.

Y’all know that Penn was married to Madonna for a hot minute, and then was married to Robin Wright for about fifteen years? Well, those don’t count in Penn’s mind, apparently, because he says he believes that, if he marries Theron, it would be his first marriage:

“Yes, I’d get married again. You say I’ve been married twice before but I’ve been married under circumstances where I was less informed than I am today, so I wouldn’t even consider it a third marriage, I’d consider it a first marriage on its own terms if I got married again.”

I’m guessing both Madonna and Robin would like to forget they were ever married to Penn, too. But then Penn goes on to say that he’s “very friendly with my first ex-wife [and] on extremely good terms with the children I share with my second ex-wife.”

So, he’s cool with Madonna, and is on ‘good terms’ with his children from his second wife?

What a lovely man, but, like I said, he Theron’s pig now.

Emile Hirsch doesn’t get much play in the Gossip World, so maybe that’s why he’s suddenly turned up the Douchenozzle.

At the Sundance Film Festival last winter, Hirsch ALLEGEDLY got physical with a female Paramount Pictures executive at a club, which ended up with the police being called, and here’s what happened:

At 3:30AM one Sunday morning at Tao Nightclub, Emile, in town to promote his film Ten Thousand Saints, was apparently drunk as hell and started “aggressively picking on” Paramount exec Dani Bernfeld. A source — and if Lohan wasn’t drunk in London., I’d swear this has her fingerprints all over it — says Emile suddenly snapped, and “pushed Dani up against a table, and then he put her in a headlock. 

Eventually the police were called and Emile ALLEGEDLY calmly explained the situation and wasn’t arrested, though Park City police are currently investigating the incident and deciding if charges should be filed.

Hmm, drunk and choking a woman in a bar and you need to ‘think’ about it? Sounds like Emile is channeling his Inner Lohan.

Let’s talk Sherri Shepherd again.

Remember when she was on The View and every time she voiced her opinion it was cloaked in Bible verses or something the Baby Jeebus told her over biscuits or something?

Well, Sherri is no longer playing the part of Good Christian Woman. You remember that she and her husband Lamar Sally broke up last year, and she accused him of being a gold digger who tricked her into a surrogacy situation so he’d had a lifetime of settlement checks coming his way, right? And then Sherri not only walked away from Sally but she also turned her back on her unborn baby and made it clear she wanted nothing to do with the kid; ever!

It got uglier when Lamar sued Sherri for spousal and child support, but now the ugly is real bad because Jessica Bartholomew, the surrogate who carried Sherri and Lamar’s baby, is being hit up for child support.

Bartholomew went on Inside Edition to talk about how disgusted she is that Sherri skipped out on her baby. Jessica says that at the beginning of her pregnancy, Sherri called her regularly and seemed excited about the kid, but when the news broke that Sheri and Lamar were done, Jessica never heard from her again. And when the child was born — Little Lamar Jr. — Jessica had to put her name on the birth certificate as the mother since Sherri backed out.

Lamar now has full custody of the child and filed for Medi-Cal because he can’t afford health insurance on his own; and when he filed for Medi-Cal, the state of California went after Jessica for child support.

Sherri Shepherd is somewhere sipping the Kool-Aid and talking about the Baby Jeebus and what a good Christian woman she is … until the man downstairs comes a’calling.

But Jessica need not worry; I bet Lifetime or TLC or WE … or maybe even Bravo — you know they’re doing "scripted” shows now — would love to tell The Sherri Shepherd Story and would deposit a butt-load of cash in Jessica’s bank account.

Everyone wins except that Little Boy.

If you’re a has-been actress, more well-known for jail time and courtroom appearances than film roles and awards show appearances, what do you do if you need some cash? And if your mother is a woman who hasn’t worked since she whored you out as an actress when you were two, what does she do when she needs some dough?

Well, if you’re a Lohan — Dina and Lindsay — you sue Fox News because one of Sean Hannity’s guests said on air that you do drugs together. Yup, those crack-y Lohan’s are suing Fox News Channel and Sean Hannity claiming they were publicly shamed when someone on Hannity’s show claimed the mother and daughter train-wrecks snorted coke together. Their lawsuit ALLEGES that there was a discussion on the show about celebrity drug use, and recently deceased celebs — like Philip Seymour Hoffman — and the panel discussed who might be next.

Michelle Fields said, “Lindsay Lohan’s mom is doing cocaine with her” — insinuating Lindsay would be the next to go.

Lindsay says that’s insane, though she’s admitted to her own cocaine problems; and she also claimed Dina was on a cocaine binge during an hysterical call she made to her dad in 2012. Mother and daughter say Fields’ claims are “a direct smear on the character/reputation of Lindsay and Dina.”

Now that’s funny. But how are the Lohan’s going to prove their claim? Oh, yeah, because everyone knows that when Lindsay does coke she doesn’t share.

Not Guilty!

Last week, Lance Armstrong said, given the chance, he’d still dope before getting on his bike for a race. But I think he misspoke, I think he meant to say he’s still a giant dope, i.e. loser asshat.

See, it appears that Lance cheated his way out of hit-and-run charges over the Christmas holidays. He was in Aspen with his girlfriend — and baby mama to two of the five Armstrong offspring — Anna Hansen.

After partying hard one night, Lance ALLEGEDLY hit two parked cars, but rather than taking it like a man, he let Anna take the fall, and it went like this:

At first, after the collisions, plural, Anna Hansen told police that she had been driving home from a party when she lost control of Armstrong’s SUV.

Then she said, well, after a valet came forward and said he handed the keys to the car to Armstrong, who drove off that night, that Armstrong was driving, but they decided to let her take the blame.

They. Lance Armstrong. American Hero Zero. 

Sadly, he can’t be charged with being a drunk driver because he wasn’t tested at the scene since he and his girlfriend lied, but he will be charged with leaving the scene of an accident.

Still doping, eh, Lance.

We often hear about Paris Hilton — though not so much these days because she’s irrelevant — and we sometimes hear about Nicky Hilton — though only in conjunction with Paris — but we rarely hear about baby brother Conrad.

Until now … Conrad, just 20-years-old already has a criminal record; he was charged with DUI in 2012, for alcohol and pot, and was put on probation, which he effed up by getting high again.

Now he’s back at it. Conrad was arrested in LA for ALLEGEDLY going insane on an international flight last summer and attacking the flight attendants. According to officials, multiple witnesses on the plane say Hilton went berserk on that flight and began screaming and threatening flight attendants:

“If you wanna square up to me bro, then bring it and I will f–king fight you.”

“I am going to f–king kill you.”

“I will f–king rip through you.”

“I will f–king own anyone on this flight; they are f–king peasants.”

“I could get you all fired in 5 minutes. I know your boss! My father will pay this out. He has done it before.”

Witnesses say Conrad then began punching the bulkhead of the plane, inches from a flight attendant’s face before, oddly enough, deciding to take a nap. That when the captain authorized crew members to handcuff him to his seat for the remainder of the flight.

Hilton has admitted to taking a sleeping pill before the flight. His lawyer, Robert Shapiro — yes, that Robert Shapiro — confirms Conrad took a sleeping pill and wasn’t himself, adding that there are numerous news reports of people experiencing adverse effects, including aggressive outbursts after taking those pills.

Or maybe it’s just self-entitled spoiled drunk and drugging rich kids who experience the side effects.