I Ain't One To Gossip, But ....

When last we left Leah Remini, she had defected from the Church of Fake Religion Scientology and was planning to write a book about the cult faith. Now comes word that members of the CoS are being, um, ordered advised to keep their distance from Remini, and that includes one John The Groper Travolta.

See, the good folks at CoS think that maybe someone else might escape and are worried that it might be big … I giggle … star Travolta who’s next to tie his toupees together and create a makeshift rope to climb over the walls, and they have ALLEGEDLY put him on a “tight leash.”

Methinks he might like that, but I digress.

Church authorities are working together to ensure that John Travolta doesn’t jump ship and at the 87th birthday celebration for Tony Bennett in LA recently, folks say John and his daughter, Ella Bleu, were being tailed by Scientology ‘minder’ Angie: “She spent most of the night aggressively staring at anyone John talked to,” recalls an eyewitness. “It was very uncomfortable, but John acted like it was normal.”

But Travolta ain’t leaving the building any time soon. I mean, he’s stayed through years of scandal and speculation regarding his proclivities with male masseurs, so this Remini dust-up won’t send him scampering off.

Still, folks say Ella Blue was fond of Remini and has no idea why she’s being told to distance herself from the actress; CoS members are routinely asked to “disconnect” from people who leave the church. Ella remains confused at the cruelty in cutting off Leah, so her parents decided to find a church minder for her.

Wow. What a lovely cult faith.

Hopefully Ella Bleu has bigger balls than either of her robot parents and she’ll defect as soon as she’s old enough.

The Brits apparently don’t want Americans buying their ‘stuff’ even at auction.

It seems Kelly Clarkson recently paid some $228,000 for a ring that once belonged to Jane Austen and people are so incensed about it that Britain basically forbidden her from taking her purchase out of the country; they’re hoping someone else, a Brit, perhaps, will outbid Kelly’s previously accepted bid and the ring will stay in the UK.

Britain’s Culture Minister Ed Vaizey has placed a temporary hold on the item, which will keep it on British soil until September 30; this hold will be extended to December 30 if a new buyer comes forward and intends to match Clarkson’s winning bid.

Here’s a thought Britain: if you wanna keep Jane’s jewels in the UK don’t put them up for sale? Eh?

Jennifer Lopez is finally putting all those American Idol rumors to rest. Well, not JLo who likes to turn everything into a media event for the press; well, everything except for those birthday parties she sings at for European despots and barbarians. Those she keeps secret.

But it JLo telling the tale of the AI return, it’s her oldest son, Casper Lopez, er, Smart. It seems Baby Boy Casper was promoting his new show — yes, ‘tis true … anyone can have a show on TV these days if you’re banging a media whore — when he was asked if his Mama JLo was coming back to Idol.

Casper took a beat, saw his chance, and said, “Yes.”

He won’t like it when he gets home to Mama; she don’t like folks telling her stories before she can spin it to make the most money possible.

So, Chris Brown has had a bad summer, hell, a bad few years. I mean, he was arrested for beating his girlfriend, he threw a chair out a window on GMA, he had a smackdown with Frank Ocean in a parking lot in LA and got a beat-down from Drake’s posse in NYC.

Then he had a seizure which he blamed on people who don’t like him and cried that American’s don’t ‘get’ his music — Oh, we get it, we just don’t want it — and now he’s gone a couple of rounds with a judge in California.

Chrissy was back in court recently to reinstate his probation — following the dropped charges on that weird hit-and-run incident — and the judge asked him if he ever completed his community service.

Brown who never met a lie he didn’t want to tell said, “Yeah.”

But then the judge was all, “Oh, no you d’i’n’t so now I’m’a give you a 1000 more hours.”

Brown was nabbed by submitting bogus community service reports — in one case even swearing he was picking up trash in Virginia when he was actually on a private jet to Cancun — so the judge revoked his probation and insisted he do more community service, like highway cleanup, beach cleanup, or graffiti cleanup.

So, if you’re out on the road and find Chris Brown in an orange vest bagging trash or scrubbing bridges, give the boy a Holla.

He’ll love it!

Katie Couric has pissed off Kash Kow Kardashian and the Kow’s response is kinda priceless.

Here’s what went down: Couric gave an interview to In Touch Weekly in which she was asked about the Kardastrophes and she said, “I don’t understand—why are they so famous? I think it’s mostly teenage girls that are interested.” 

That’s not so bad, really, I mean I said worse things about those Media Whores just today, but I don’t have a TV show that I’m trying to save by booking big-assed named guests like Katie.

So, Couric ate some crow and sent Kim and Kanye West a baby gift for baby Eastern Pacific — a pair of baby pajamas with a note that read “Dear Kim and Kanye, Congratulations on the birth of your baby girl! And may I humbly suggest you continue the K tradition. Fondly, Katie Couric.” 

Get it? Kim.Kanye.Katie. Kut!

But Kash Kow, who is alerted every time someone prints her name, saw the interview and then Instagrammed a picture of the gift with this hashtag:

 “#IHateFakeMediaFriends #MayIHumblySuggestYouNotSendGiftsThenTalkS—”

Snap.

In more Kardastrophe news, it’s official: Kanye is a Kardashian.

Mister I Hate The Media, Mister The Paparazzi Made Me Walk Into A Pole, Mister I Vant To Be Alone, just made an appearance on his Baby Mama’s Mama’s talk show.

It seems Kris Jenner, Mama Pimp to her whole clan, has a talk show that is ending its trial run and she was desperate to have one big name guest on to make herself seem important so she whored out Kanye.

Now, I didn’t see the show, though I saw clips and was struck by Kanye’s Gay Voice — perhaps a gift from his ALLEGED boyfriend Ricardo Tisci? I haven’t heard that many sibilant esses since my bike tire sprung a leak.

West taped his special interview and was said to have really brought it, hoping to keep Kris on TV and out of his life. He even let the show put up a photo of Baby Southwest Airlines. And he talked about being a daddy and being so in love with Kimmy that he thought about “playing sports”—two of Kash Kow’s exes are professional athletes, though I think when Kanye says “playing sports” he means playing with sports, in locker-rooms and showers.

Oh, Kanye, I never liked you before, but now you’re sinking fast into the Kardashian Kool-Aid.

Have you heard of Nick Gruber?

He’s a former gay porn star, and the former lover of one way gay Calvin Klein. And he’s quite the trainwreck, having spent more than one stay in rehab for drug abuse. But now, apparently, Nick has gotten himself a new agent, and he’s ready to move on from gay porn and gay boyfriends and, well, gay. Nick says he’s straight now.

I know!

And how does he prove he’s hetero-sekshul? He attends a Fire Island party given by gay porn star and filmmaker Michael Lucas at which he made a scene because someone grabbed his ass.

Lucas gave his account on, where else, Facebook:

"This weekend was "Ascension" - the biggest party of the summer on Fire Island. Every year I buy a large VIP tent that's up above the dance floor, where I invite my friends.

I saw this arrogant guy who was being rude to people, shoving two guys away after they bumped into him. I heard him say, "keep your hands away from me! I’m straight!" So I went over to him, and asked him why he was being so rude.

He said, 'I am straight, and I don't want any gay people to touch me.' At which point, I told him 'you're leaving.' He said, 'do you know who I am?' I said, 'I don't know, and I don't even want to know who you think you are.'

Then he said, 'try me.' I said 'watch me'. I called over to security and had him hauled away without his feet even touching the floor. Then someone explained to me that this is the ex boyfriend of Calvin Klein, Nick Gruber, who just 'came out' as 'straight.'"

Not surprisingly, Nick’s agent released a different version: “Nick was the guest of Hal Rubenstein and David Nichols and wasn't familiar with how these mass events work in terms of ‘areas’ and VIP areas. Nick overreacted when he was told to leave one area. He is sending a private apology to Mr. Lucas. It was Nick’s first time at Fire Island, and he was glad to be there with several friends and support the cause.”

He.Wasn’t.Familiar.With.Parties.Hosted.By.Gay.Porn.Directors?

On Fire-Freaking-Island?

Oh Nicky, you’re queer, dear. Get used to it.

And you’re also an idiot.

Kate Gosselin has officially jumped the shark; not literally, though, sad to say.

While she might be one of the most hated “reality” stars ever—only superseded by her Ed Hardy wearing, sleeping with teenage girls, ex-husband Jon—she has seemingly lost what little she has left of her mind.

Now she’s accusing her ex of being some kind of superspy who broke into her home and tapped her phones and stole her computer hard drive and accessed all of her accounts and then gave all the info to a nasty man, Robert Hoffman, who wrote a book called Kate Gosselin: How She Fooled The World. And she’s suing Jon because, well, she doesn’t have a job and no one wants to see her raggedy ass on TV.

Her suit ALLEGES: “After the couple was separated, Jon illegally hacked into Kate’s email account and her phone and bank accounts … Jon also stole a hard drive from Kate’s house, which contained private and confidential material. Jon then gave them the contents of Kate’s email account and the hard drive, all of which were acquired illegality, to his friend and business partner, tabloid reporter Robert Hoffman [who] used the illegally acquired data to publish a defamatory book about Kate.”

Seriously Kate?

Gosselin. Jon Gosselin. Doesn’t have the ring of Bond to it.

So, Beyoncé’s a big old diva. I mean, we know about her penchant for $500 straws and red toilet paper, but now she’s taken her diva-tude further asking that certain areas in venues where she performs be off limits to anyone but her.

That’s ALLEGEDLY what she did at V Festival last weekend, according to Travis frontman Fran Healy. The Glasgow band was on the same bill as Queen B as in Bitch and Fran says she turned parts of the backstage area into a no-go zone: “Beyoncé locked down the entire backstage area for an hour. Everyone was affected. You’d ask ‘Can I just go there?’ and they’d say ‘No. You can’t cross this little street’. Everyone was just following orders from the gang. I guess that’s how Americans do it but it’s not how we do it in the UK.”

And, he adds, “She was headlining the main stage and was half an hour late.

In addition, Beyoncé refused to let V Festival live stream her performance because she’s afraid of more Ugly Man Face pictures of herself being on the internet; you know, the ones where she makes those hideous faces while she grunts and, ALLEGELDY, sings?

Alec Baldwin and his wife, the fabulously named Hilaria, recently welcomed their baby into the Baldwin family, but being a new daddy hasn’t mellowed the pissy little TV star.

Walking on a street in NYC this week, Baldwin began shrieking at a photographer and accusing him of stalking Hilaria. Alec attacked the guy and bent him over a car and started hollering at him and now the NYPD is involved.

The photographer, after being assaulted by Baldwin, called the police to lodge a complaint and police have spoken to both sides, who now want to whole thing to go away.

I can understand Baldwin wanting it to go away, because it’s just another in a long string of violent behavior and verbal abuse he hurls at anyone he doesn’t like, but I wish just once a photographer would follow through.

I mean, if Baldwin hates having photographers trail him, imagine how many would be waiting outside the police station after he’s arrested.

I Didn't Say It........

Julian Bond, on marriage equality, the Black community, and Maryland:

"Standing for the freedom to marry is about supporting all families, but I would be remiss without highlighting the impact that this inequality has on black same-sex couples, who statistically are already economically disadvantaged compared to their straight sisters and brothers. In comparison to black opposite-sex couples and white same-sex couples, black same-sex couples are more likely to parent children and earn a lower annual income. The lack of marriage rights negatively affects black same-sex couples because they are also more likely to work in the public sector, relying on health insurance that is often only afforded to married couples. Furthermore, I firmly believe that marriage strengthens communities. Allowing more couples the opportunity to marry will strengthen the communities — and families — that most need it.
I served for 20 years in the Georgia State House and Senate; I recall difficult decisions my colleagues and I had to make, often torn between conscience and public opinion. I hope the General Assembly will stand for what's right and bring the freedom to marry to Maryland."

Pay attention people.
This is what common sense sounds like.
This is what progress sounds like.
This is what equality sounds like.

Lady Gaga, on target about Target:

"That discussion was one of the most intense conversations I've ever had in a business meeting. Part of my deal with Target is that they have to start affiliating themselves with LGBT charity groups and begin to reform and make amends for the mistakes they've made in the past ... our relationship is hinged upon their reform in the company to support the gay community and to redeem the mistakes they've made supporting those [antigay] groups."

I'm glad Gaga is working with Target, but I am not so optimistic that Target will change it's ways.
Target is about profit and the bottom line.
And they've pledged to work with the LGBT community before, and then opted to stop that altogtehr.
If I buy Gaga's music, it won't be at Target.

Dan Savage, on Rick Santorum and his outrage over Dan's Santorum website:

"You have to love how Santorum is out there mewling about being the victim here and about civility—this from the man who compared people in stable, loving same-sex relationships to dog fuckers and kiddie rapists, this from a man who would make gay and straight sodomy illegal, ban gay marriage and any other protections for same-sex couples, and prevent loving same-sex couples from adopting children who need homes. This from a man who would literally destroy my family if it were within in his power to do so....There has been no effort to strip Rick Santorum of his civil rights, no moves to nullify his marriage, no one has suggested that his children be taken out of his home, no one is trying to prevent him from having more children. No one has compared Rick Santorum to a dog fucker or a pedophile. Compared to Rick Santorum, my readers and I have been models of decorum and restraint. And don't think you're fooling us, Rick. Now that you're running for president—eight years after we redefined 'santorum' — you're whining to attract a little attention to your campaign and because your advisors think that maybe you'll get a little traction playing the pansy-assed victim card, à la Sarah Palin, and rake in a few bucks. Oh, look at all that mean gay dude—one of the guys I want to oppress—he's picking on meeeeeeeeeee!"

I could add my two cents, but Dan don't need no help.

Democratic Representaive Jackie Speier's emotional and personal rebuttal during a debate, and GOP asshat Chris Smith, who read aloud graphic descriptions of abortion only moments before:

"I really planned to speak about something else. But the gentleman from New Jersey just put my stomach in knots. Because I'm one of those women he spoke about just now. I had a procedure at 17 weeks pregnant with a child who moved from the vagina into the cervix. And that procedure that you just described is a procedure that I endured. I lost a baby. And for you to stand on this floor and suggest that somehow this is a procedure that is either welcomed or done cavalierly or done without any thought, is preposterous."

I've said it before, and will say it again: If you don't beleieve in abortion, don't have one.
And, to that, I will add, If men were the ones who got pregnant and gave birth, abortion would have been legalized in teh Constitutuion.
This is just another way for men to exert control over women.

Wyoming Republican--Yes, Republican--state senator Cale Case, who proposed a $200,000 appropriation for road signs that would alert visitors from out-of-state: "Warning: your marriage or civil union may be void or voidable in Wyoming. Proceed with extreme caution" on Wyoming's string of anti-LGBT measures:

“We should kill this bill. We should kill it right now. We should kill it because it’s not very well thought out. It has enormous practical implications....What about the millions of people that visit Wyoming? That just come for vacation. We’re so proud of our visitors, now we’re going to say all of you visitors who happen to be from another state, when you come across the border, you’re magically not together any more. ‘Poof.’ It’s gone. Don’t get into a car wreck. If you’re in a hospital and you’re dying, and your partner is with you, we’re going to have to call your mother because that’s the nearest relative that we’re going to recognize under Wyoming (law) to make decisions about your life....Gays and lesbians live and work among us. They’re also soldiers in the military. They’ve been here and talked about their service in Iraq and...now you’re going to deny them the benefits (of marriage of civil unions).”

Oh wow!
A Republican standing up for the LGBT community?
And in Wyoming, no less?
Stand tall Congressman Case. You're on the right side.

Maggie Gallagher, on Marriage Equality in Maryland, and thie idea that NOM is "going to win there, one way or another":

"To me, it’s amazing, given the array of forces pushing for gay marriage and the weak response of most conservative politicians, that the American people have stubbornly dug in their heels on this question: Are two men in a union a marriage? The answer is 'no,' and people really do know it. Marriage is the union of husband and wife — for a reason. Creating a world where people are treated like haters or bigots for standing for marriage is irrational, and people know that, too. An America in which Genesis is akin to racism is an America that will be unrecognizable. Ideas have consequences, and this idea cuts us off from our roots and makes the future much harder."

Oh Maggie, you douchebag.
Look at a poll, and i don't mean the rusty pole you keep in your bedroom for, um, your amusement.
The tide is changing.
More and more people are accepting of marriage equality, until you spin your pedophile/bestialty line of bull shiz.
Your days of being anything more than a sad clown are just about up, and then what, ot who, will you go after?

 Playgirl's Daniel Nardicio, on Nick Gruber, the 21-year-old lover of Calvin Klein:

"I had contacted him a long time ago about posing in Playgirl, before he was outed as a porn star. I kept trying to meet up with him and he kept blowing me off, with monosyllabic texts, yet he said he'd do Playgirl as long as he got the cover. Finally, in frustration I texted him to forget it, and he came back with 'You only want me because of my fame, so you can go fuck yourself.' To that I told him that in three years when Klein tired of blowing him, he'd be just another bottle blond looking for work, so he should be more respectful of people trying to give him work."

Hey Playgirl.
We all know your models are mostly gay porn stars, so quite trying to market yourself as entertainment for women,
The men in your magazine only want women to do their hair.

Porn actor and Calvin's lov-ah, Nick Gruber, on Playgirl editor Daniel Nardicio:

"You only want me because of my fame, so you can go fuck yourself. Calvin [Klein] is my partner -- you don't understand because you don't have that. I am famous now, and people want me for my fame, and you should be careful 'cause of the people I know and what they could do to you."

Hmm, porn star threats?
Is he gonna have someone 'blow' Nardicio away?
Fluff him to death?
Seriously, this little man's fifteen minutes as Calvin's plaything are almost up, because, I'm pretty sure Calvin is now dreaming of some luscious 18-year-old that he simply must have.

Lady Gaga, on how she spent 72 hours in the egg before the Grammys:

"I was in there for about 72 hours. It was a very creative experience...It was time for me to really prepare and think about the meaning of the song and get prepared for the performance. I really wanted to be born on stage. The creative vessel was helpful for me to stay focused. We had it backstage so that I was able to really stay in this sort of creative, embryonic incubation."

I'm slowly getting over Gaga.
She tries to make it sound like she lived in the egg for three days before, um, hatching at the Grammy's, but take a close look at the red carpet egg, and the stage egg.
They are two very different eggs.
Plus, um, is it like an egg condo, because Gaga changed from a black outfit to her incubus dress in there!
Seriously, Gaga, spend more time writing songs and less time promoting yourself.
Seriously.