Random Musings

I love a good book, and I love a little bit of history, and I love some Hollywood drama and gossip.

So, I was thrilled to start reading William J. Mann’s new book, Tinseltown, about Hollywood in the 1920s, and the scandals, and the religious right trying to control the movies, and the murder — long unsolved until, maybe, now — of William Desmond Taylor.

If you like those kinds of stories, this is a great book, and really takes you into Hollywood and how it started and what it was like.

Sidenote: Mann is the author of one of my all-time favorite books, Wisecracker: The Life and Times of William Haines, Hollywood’s First Openly Gay Star.

Great reads.

Last Sunday we finally had some decent weather — no rain, and not numbingly cold — so Carlos and I attacked the front yard.

Leaf duty. The driveway was blown free of leaves and then we started in on the front yard. Four hours later, and seventeen, yes, seventeen, 55-gallon leaf bags later … we’d finished about a quarter of the yard.

Why oh why did we buy a house with so many trees!

This could be good …

It seems that CBS has cast transgender actress, and LGBT icon, Laverne Cox in its new legal drama pilot Doubt. The Orange is the New Black actress will play a transgender Ivy League-educated attorney, described as “competitive as she is compassionate. She’s fierce, funny and the fact that she’s experienced injustice first hand makes her fight all the harder for her clients.”

The really great news is that even before the casting of Cox in the part, the role was written for a transgender character.

Times do change.

So, a while back we had a free HBO weekend, and I noticed that the first season of The Knick was on. So, the DVR was set and recently Carlos and I have started watching. It’s really pretty good—a hospital drama set at the turn of the last century in New York—but some of the surgery scenes are a little graphic.

So, naturally I focus on the man candy: like, clockwise from the top, André Holland as Dr. Algernon Edwards, Michael Angarano as Dr Bertie Chickering Jr., and Eric Johnson as Dr Everett Gallinger. All hotties, all the times.

Interesting side note: Michael Angarano is perhaps best known for playing Elliot, Jack McFarland’s son on Will & Grace. He grew up hot — though he wears a full beard on The Knick.

Well well well, it seems Beck has had the last laugh after Kanye’s lunacy at the Grammys.

Beck’s album ‘Morning Phase’ — the surprise winner at the show when West rudely declared Beck “should have given his award to Beyoncé” — has become a huge seller this week, shooting to Number 1 on iTunes ahead of Sam Smith and Taylor Swift; plus, Spotify said the number of streams for “Morning Phase” was up a whopping 2,169% by Monday evening.

Beck a true artist and a gentleman, took Kanye’s comments in stride saying, “I still love him and think he’s genius.”

Not so thrilled with West was Garbage singer Shirley Manson who told West online: “You are making yourself look like a complete tw - t.”

Winning!

Oh you Southerners. You all pretend to be good Christians, and conservative Republicans, and arbiters of all that is holy and scared, and then you turn around and scoop up all the tickets to the upcoming 50 Shades of Grey.

According to Fandango Grey has accounted for nearly 60% of its ticket sales this week, and will the fastest selling R-rated film to date, in Southern states.

That’s right; Mississippi, Arkansas, and West Virginia saw the sharpest uptick of pre-release ticket sales followed closely by Kentucky, Alabama, Louisiana, and Tennessee.

Funny; those conservatives in all those states really wanna see Jamie Dornan and Dakota Johnson get their freak on!

I loves me some NPH and I loves me some Oscars, so I am really looking forward to the show.

But … but … NPH is on the cover of this week’s Entertainment Weekly looking like a gold statue … or, as I thought, kind of a creepy mash-up of C3PO and The Wiz.

Just sayin’

A Number of Things

Some other things I need to get off my chest.

First to the people who used to own our house.

Would it have killed you to rake a freakin' leaf up once in a while? I mean, seriously. I am still cleaning up leaves and garden crap you left behind and you haven't lived here for over two years!

I have a suggestion for your next yard: green concrete and silk plants.

Look into it.

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I watched some of Make Me A Supermodel last night because I loves me some Tyson Beckford, but that British beyotch they have is something else.

In the apartment with the models, she all sweetness and light, but then she rips them all a new one on the runway. She has, however, provided me with my newest catch phrase.

The old one was: Don't make me hit-chu wit my pocketbook, courtesy of Miss Jennifer Hudson.

My new one is: You're a tasteless version of Kate Moss.

Which I love because isn't Kate Moss a tasteless version of Kate Moss?

Just sayin'.

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Oprah is jumping into the Chris Brown/Rihanna circus, because we all know, nothing gets solved until Oprah flaps her yap.

At least while she's talking she can lay off the pies and cakes.

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Carlos and I have been together for a dog's year plus two, and I always torture him in the same ways, and he always falls for it, which makes me do it more, which makes him for for it....you see where this is going.

At breakfast today, we were having cantaloupe and homemade banana bread, with a glass of juice and cafe con leche.

As I sat down, I said, Strawberries would have been nice with the melon.

Carlos gets up and heads to the fridge, at which point I say: Oh, I don't want strawberries.

He sits down. I giggle like a four-year-old.

We eat and chat, and eat some more. Then he gets up and gets a spoon for his cafe con leche. I say, as he's walking back to the kitchen table, I guess I'm not allowed to have a spoon.

He spins around and gets a spoon.

Oh, I don't want one, I say, I was just making an observation.

Lucky for me he has a good sense of humor, and he loves me, or else I'd be down at the Smallville Greyhound Station with a paper bag and a homemade lunch, on the road out of town.

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The new rule on Idol.

Apparently the judges get to 'save' a contestant who gets the boot.

Now, they can only do it once, and it must be unanimous, so I don't really mind. I mean, if it keeps the show from being hijacked by another Sanjaya-freak-of-nature, then I'm all for it.

However.

Last night they boot off Jasmine. Ryan Gaycrest tells her that all of America hates her and she has to get out. But wait a sec, Jas, you get to sing once more so we can all see how horrible you are and revel in your misery.

So, she sings, and then they ask the judges if they want to save her.

Dawg Jackson says, uh, No!

So, apparently, Jasmine, America hates you, and then the judges tell you they hate you, too.

Of course, they replay the same scene a few minutes later with Jorge.....who shouldá stayed and they shouldá sent Anoop packing, because he sucked.

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South Carolina Governor Mark Sanford says that using federal money to balance the state budget come July could “destabilize” the S.C. economy over time, and that he will not accept the $700 million in federal aid for state budgets unless South Carolina can use the money to pay off retirement, health care costs and other debts.

This makes him the the nations’ first governor to specifically reject portions of the federal aid, and Mark Sanford, Repugnant Dumbass, loves to be noticed.

Of course, his announcement came the same day as new unemployment numbers show South Carolina with the nation’s second-highest jobless rate, at 10.4 percent.

No, we don't need jobs, Marky, not here.

Dumbass.

Wassail

After what will forever be called The Leaf Incident, Carlos returned from the recycling center. I asked why he didn't wait for me and he says, 'I thought you were mad when you went back in the house.'
'I wasn't mad,' I said, 'I was wearing flannel pants and slippers. I went in to change!'
'Oh.'
Oh my.
Case closed. Move on. Build a bridge and get over it.
We decided to make our weekly trek to Kroger's for some groceries. It's about a fifty-mile round-trip, but all we have here in Smallville is a PigglyWiggly--and it has a funny smell--a Food Lion--looks like they display the food in a lion cage--and a Bi-Lo--which I think is only for Bisexuals on the DownLow, but I could be wrong. So, with no other option we drive to Kroger's.
It wasn't going to be a big basket of food this week. For some reason or other we didn't need a lot of things. I'm in charge of making the list, checking it twice blah blah blah and it didn't seem like a lot.
Carlos stands in a corner and says anything to annoy me, like, 'Don't forget milk.'
I could really use that woodchipper I talked about earlier.
We bundle up because it's about 25-degrees when we head out, and drive to Kroger's, after stopping at the veterinarian to get HeartGard for Ozzo. The receptionist knows me from around town and says, 'Hi Bob.' And I feel Carlos looking at me.
Back in the car, 'Who's that?'
'I forget her name.'
'Uh huh.'
'What uh huh?'
'Never mind.'
Woodchipper. Woodchipper, where are you?
We hit Kroger's, finally, and Carlos says he wants to make Wassail. We had bought a package of a dried Wassail mix from the Biltmore Estate last year and loved it in winter; it's like a warm citrus punch. Carlos searched the web and found a Wassail recipe, and brought it with him to get the ingredients.
Our usual Kroger's routine is he goes to the deli to get some sliced cheese and turkey, and I get everything else. Carlos, for some unknown reason, has a special affinity for the Deli Women--I don't know if it's the hairnets or the big shoes. And yet he gives me grief about a receptionist at an animal hospital, when he's having some kind of deli catered affair with BigShoes?
Anyway. I'm finishing up as he comes back with his deli supplies and his Wassail fixin's--I'm becoming more Southern with each passing day--and we proceed to the checkout. The cashier is ringing us up and I'm watching the screen as the prices go up up up like it's a stock ticker in a bull market, or a bear market, whichever one is the good one. And suddenly I see "Garlic................$43.75"
Now, I loves me some garlic, but I have never spent almost fifty bucks on the stuff. It's not like I'm an addict, hanging around the farmer's markets or loitering in the produce aisle, looking for a fix. So, he sees me looking at the screen, and he says, 'That's not right.'
Ya think?
He changes it and keeps ringing. And the prices still go up up up. To $182.23! W.T.F?
When Carlos sees the total he shrieks like a schoolgirl who just got a text from a cute boy. 'What did you buy?'
What did I buy? 'Um, groceries.'
'Why so much.'
I mutter something about laundry soap, dried cranberries, paper towels. But on the way to the car, I think to myself that we didn't need that much. Why was it so high? What was unusual about this trip. Then it hits me! At home I sit down with the receipt. The Wassail recipe at hand.
Oranges, lemons, cheesecloth. Check. Apple juice, apple cider. Uh huh. Mace, which is apparently a spice as well as a medieval weapon, who knew? All-Spice berries. Cinnamon sticks. Add it up...carry the one, and.....What?
Thirty dollars for Wassail.
For wassail?
Better be damned good Wassail is all I'm sayin'.