I Ain't One To Gossip, But.....

Hey, Hines Ward?!? You just won Dancing With the Stars! How are you gonna celebrate?
By getting a DUI, I guess, which does not mean "Dancing Under the Influence" but "Driving Under the Influence".

Police officers Ward was pulled over, in DeKalb County, Georgia, about 2AM one morning after swerving down the street and hitting a curb in his Aston Martin.
He took a number of tests on the scene. Tap. Jazz. Interpretive Ballet. And he failed all of them, along with a variety of intoxication tests, including a hand-held breath test, which came out positive for alcohol consumption. Ward ALLEGEDLY became agitated during the tests, and swayed back and forth while with officers and even mixed up the letters in the alphabet. He later refused to give a breath sample on a Breathalyzer machine at the DeKalb County jail.
He did admit to having the requisite two beers before getting behind the wheel of his car, but he may wanna rethink that. Two beers does not make ones BAC nearly twice the legal limit, unless he meant two cases, or two kegs.
His lawyer, however, is singing a different tune, probably after getting a hefty retainer check. He says Ward was not under the influence and that his cooperation with the police was uncanny.
What is uncanny is how a grown-ass man can't remember his alphabet, and some over-paid, self-entitled athlete can't just hire a driver so her can drink all the Corona in the place without endangering anyone else on the road.
I wonder if he'd killed someone on his drunk driving spree, how his lawyer might have spun it.
 
Oh, those Jersey Shore kids.
Fights. Peeing in public. Arrests, Car crashes. Lawsuits.

Yup, now it's Mike "The Situation" Sorrentino's turn to be sued for $1 million.
It seems that Gotham NYC Entertainment--whcih sounds like a cover for some low-rent porn-making company....ALLEGEDLY--is claiming Sorrentino breached their contract when he fired them in May for "lack of performance."
The management company says the 'Jersey Shore' star failed to give them the required 30-day notice to fix any problems before he terminated their services. Gotham says they served as Sorrentino's managers since 'The Jersey Shore' premiered on MTV in 2009 and have helped him take "his career from relative obscurity to become an international celebrity."
International douchebag, maybe.
Still, The Situation, illiterate as he may be, he most likely has the cash to shell out should he lose. He ALLEGEDLY made $100,000 per episode for the fourth season of Jersey Crappola.
Except, maybe he won't be getting any more MTV paychecks. Sorrentino, perhaps realizing he can't pretend to be in his 20s anymore, now that he clearly looks to be closing in on forty, has decided to bail on the fifth season of the reality show.
Such a shame.

Singer and serial dieter, or is it cereal dieter, Carnie Wilson is ALLEGEDLY facing a foreclosure on her L.A. home.

According to documents from the L.A. County Recorder's Office, it seems that Wilson has defaulted on her mortgage and still owes a whopping $1.6 million on her house. And she ALLEGEDLY has just a few days to come up with the cash or her home will hit the auction block.
Wilson, who recently appeared with fellow Wilson Phillips members Wendy Wilson and Chynna Phillips in 'Bridesmaids,' also made headlines last fall due to her weight. And a lawsuit.
Wilson was ALLEGEDLY fired as spokeswoman for Fresh Diet, a food delivery service, when it became apparent that she had actually gained weight while on the program.
Cereal dieter.
But I guess you can't blame her, really. She ALLEGEDLY lost 19 pounds while using the service, but gained it all back when she launched her own.....wait for........it's not a diet........wait for it.....she launched her own CHEESECAKE company.
Now, she is ALLEGEDLY fat and happy, fat and sassy, and maybe fat and homeless, saying, "I'm fat as f**k, what can I say? You know, after all these years, it's just like we are who we are and it's a struggle for me and sometimes I'm heavier and sometimes I'm thinner."
Sometimes I have a home, and sometimes I don't.


This makes me giggle.

It seems that former " 3rd Rock from the Sun" actress Kristen Johnston recently found herself on a cross-country flight with Nadya Suleman and all twelve of her children.
On the flight, from New York City to Los Angeles, the Suleman gang ALLEGEDLY took up most of business class, and were being unruly and crying, while the flight was delayed for more than two hours.
The crying babies....the TWELVE crying babies....proved too much for Johnson, so she walked over to Nadya and told her to keep those kids quiet. Nadya ALLEGEDLY fired back: “How would you like me to keep eight 2-year-olds quiet?”
Kristen ALLEGEDLY responded, “Get more help!”
Nadya shouted back, “Why don’t you grow a baby and get a life!”
Why.Don't.You.Grow.A.Baby?
Um, why don't you stop?
Seriously. Just stop.

I Ain't One To Gossip, But........

Aren't they more than enough divorce lawyers in the world?
I mean, apparently not, because Tony Parker's divorce lawyer, Richard Orsinger, has quit the case, citing conflict of interest.

What? Is he representing Eva Longoria-soon-to-be-free-of-the-Parker?

Um, no. It seems that the reason for the conflict is that Orsinger also represents Tony Parker's former San Antonio Spurs teammate Brent Barry, whose wife Erin Barry was ALLEGEDLY exchanging sexual textuals with Tony, and is ALLEGEDLY the main reason Eva Longoria filed for divorce.

So, how does a high-powered D-I-V-O-R-C-E lawyer like Orsinger forget he is representing to men divorcing their wives because one man ALLEGEDLY textually cheated with the other man's wife?

Orsinger says he wasn't initially aware that Brent Barry was in any way connected to Tony Parker's case when he filed divorce papers for Parker on November 19, and he is now representing Brent in divorce from Erin.

Oops. Small world.

Even though her 'Inferno' director--you know, the movie where she was to play a porn star--was ALLEGEDLY relieved that he'd found another actress to take over the role from Lindsay Lohan, it looks like her career is not exactly over.

I mean, what does a recovering drug addict, ALLEGED kidnapper and car thief do now?

Dancing With The Stars!

A source--and by source, I mean the guy that regularly collects Lohan's urine for testing--says that reality TV show, and trainwreck for wannabes, Dancing With The Stars is interested in adding Lohan to the cast next season.

The source says: "'Dancing with the Stars' producers have had Lindsay on their wish list of castmates for a very long time. And though they've been wary of Lohan's history before, they are taking notice of her recent and productive stay at Betty Ford treatment center.

The source--who simply cannot stop talking--goes on to say that Lohan's next career choice will be heavily tied to what's best for her sobriety. "Lindsay won't be making any decisions about what she chooses for her next project without consulting first with her treatment team. This wasn't mandated by the court, her advisers or medical team, but Lindsay has taken that step herself, which is a very, very positive sign."

Her treatment team? Let's hope Mama Dina doesn't play for that team.

Carnie Wilson was a spokesperson for a food delivery service called Fresh Diet until recently when the company let the singer-actress go.

Slow business?

Bad economy?

Um, no, it was because Carnie got fat while she was ALLEGEDLY on a diet!

Fresh Diet spokesperson Ezzy Duchman told Star, snarkily, that "Carnie Wilson was let go as spokesperson for The Fresh Diet after losing only 19 lbs. on the program--and then gaining it all back (plus some) after she launched her own cheesecake company."

So, she's hawking diet food while opening a cheesecake business? Did no one see this coming?

Duchman claims the Wilson Phillips star was cheating on them, and her diet, by "promoting her cheesecakes while she was supposed to be only eating our three meals and two snacks a day."

Maybe the two snacks were cheesecakes?

Sadly, though, Carnie, who went from 300 to 150 pounds back in 1999 after gastric bypass surgery is now back up to around 230 lbs, and that caused Fresh Diet to drop her from their business, and instantly remove her image from the corporate website.

Duchman, who sounds like one skinny bitch, goes on: "She didn't stick to it, and she didn't cut weight. We had to cut ties with her. It seemed that she was eating more food than just our meals. We always saw her baking on her reality show. We believe she wasn't sticking to the plan and she wasn't losing weight. If you're baking cheesecake and selling it, then you can't promote a diet company."

I guess no one bothered to tell that to Carnie.

Oh, Kate Gosselin!

Just when I thought the world was safe from your dancing, and media-whoreness, here you are again, taking yet another tour through the press to let everyone know that two of her 26 children--or something like that--Alexis and Collin were not "expelled" from school for behavioral issues.

She even took to The Today Show to let us all know--as if we care--that the whole family is doing "wonderfully."

As for the expelled kiddies, Kate muttered, "The school would never use that word. [The school] did not feel like they could meet their needs anymore, so it was decided they should leave, for now."

Couldn't meet their needs? Did they not have a special trailer for them to relax in between classes? Was there no craft services, just a cafeteria filled with :::gasp:::: regular kids? No film crew following them around as they take tests and study?

Nope, because now Alexis and Collin now have a private tutor, and Kate, of course, always the blame at her ex-husband's feet, saying the kids have problems because they miss their Daddy since he no longer appears on TV with them.

Keep selling those kids Kate.

Who cares about much they may be hurting ass long as they bring in a paycheck, right?

The Kardashian sisters--Kim, Khloe, Kourtney, Krappy, and Krusty....why does everything have to be 'K' with them--are seeking to kut ties with a venture that sold prepaid debit kards under their name after koming under attakk for the kard's high fees.

Funny, however, that when the kard was launched a month or so ago, those wakky Kardashian's were happy as klams to pokket a paycheck. And they even aimed the kard at kolleg kids who watch their show, Keeping Up With The Kardashians.

Now, an attorney for the sisters sent a letter to all parties affiliated with the kard asking them to immediately stop using the names and images of the three sisters.

Like Kim's Big Ass would fit on a kredit kard.

Still, the notice came after Konnecticut Attorney General Richard Blumenthal warned that he would investigate the program to see if it violated state laws to protect konsumers, and he went as far as to say that the kard's fees are "predatory."

Just like a Kardashian!

 

If she wasn't such an idiot, I'd almost feel bad for her.

See, way back in 2008, when the The View's in-house conserva-douche, Elisabeth Hasselbeck, introduced then-VP nominee, and future quitting, lying, scheming, media,whoring, fucktard, Mama Grizzly Bore at political rallies in Florida political rallies, Dimbulb Hasselbeck thought it was the beginning of a beautiful friendship.

Not so much.

"I am more than honored to be there," Elisabeth said back in the day, introducing The Bore. "So, that's an honor and I'm excited to do it and I'll have some stories, I'm sure, on Monday."

Turns out the story ended. Since the Bore lost the election, she has no use for Hasselbeck, and now Hasselbeck is left feeling used and confused.

An insider--and by insider, I mean, Barbara Walters--says: "Elisabeth feels used by the former governor. She stood up and did everything she could to help get S***h into the White House, expecting to have made a friend for life. Elisabeth isn't fake. You might not like her politics, but she is a very genuine person. If she likes someone, she will do whatever she can to help them."

Elisabeth, Elisabeth, Elisabeth.

I knew she was a user the minute she started flapping those lipsticked pit-bull lips.

And you should have, too.