Don't Come For India ... Or Curry

Gene Weingarten is a two-time Pulitzer Prize-winning Washington Post columnist and is not at all a comedian. Case in point: last week, the Post published  Weingarten’s attempt at humor in a piece entitled, “You Can’t Make Me Eat These Foods,” in which Weingarten writes about the kinds of food he will not eat … foot stomp!

These foods include balsamic vinegar, sweet pickles, anchovies, and Indian food. Indian food. ALL Indian food. Weingarten says Indian food is “the only ethnic cuisine in the world insanely based on one spice” [curry]and he doesn’t get it “as a culinary principle.” 

Well, Weingarten received all kinds of blowback on social media, including accusations of racism. And even Indian-born Padma Lakshmi, food author and host of my favorite reality show competition, Top Chef, didn’t sit this one out, when she Tweeted:

And why was Padma so incensed? Well, not just because it was an ignorant thing to say, but there were some not-so-subtle racist undertones in what Weingarten said, like:

“Indian food. The Indian subcontinent has vastly enriched the world, giving us chess, buttons, the mathematical concept of zero, shampoo, modern-day nonviolent political resistance, Chutes and Ladders, the Fibonacci sequence, rock candy, cataract surgery, cashmere, USB ports … and the only ethnic cuisine in the world insanely based entirely on one spice. If you like Indian curries, yay, you like Indian food! If you think Indian curries taste like something that could knock a vulture off a meat wagon, you do not like Indian food. I don’t get it, as a culinary principle. It is as though the French passed a law requiring every dish to be slathered in smashed, pureed snails. (I’d personally have no problem with that, but you might, and I would sympathize.)”

And when Lakshmi, and others, began coming for him, Weingarten Tweeted, then deleted, this:

“Took a lot of blowback for my dislike of Indian food in today’s column so tonight I went to Rasika, DC’s best Indian restaurant. Food was beautifully prepared yet still swimming with the herbs & spices I most despise. I take nothing back.”

That’s when Padma entered the chat, replying to the now-deleted tweet:

The Washington Post proceeded to edit Weingarten’s original piece and added the disclaimer:

“CORRECTION: A previous version of this article incorrectly stated that Indian cuisine is based on one spice, curry, and that Indian food is made up only of curries, types of stew. In fact, India’s vastly diverse cuisines use many spice blends and include many other types of dishes. The article has been corrected.”

But Lakshmi wasn’t done with Weingarten just yet, and posted this to her Instagram:

“There is truly no need for something like this to be published in 2021 (or ever). It’s racist and lazy at best.

My issue is not this person’s performative contrarianism (although it is tedious) or that he didn’t enjoy the Indian cuisines he’s tasted.

My problem is in this attempt at a comedic piece he’s actually just regurgitating old colonizer tropes, gleefully reducing the culture and country of 1.3 billion people to a (frankly) weak punchline- and that the [Washington Post] published it."

But the best was one Tweet, not from Padma, that said:

“I pride myself on my Pakistani cooking. I also love South Indian, and fusion dishes. That you got paid to write this tripe, and boldly spew your racism is deplorable. May your rice be clumpy, roti dry, your chilies unforgivable, your chai cold, and your papadams soft.”

Mic drop.

PS You also pissed off one Carlos in Smallville who loves Curry perhaps a soupçon more than he loves his husband.

And I’m good with that!

I Ain't One To Gossip, But......

Last week, Regis Philbin, host of 'Live With Regis and Kelly' announced that he would be retiring from morning television after 40 years of being in the business. He plans on leaving the show sometime this summer, saying of his retirement: "There is a time that everything must come to an end for certain people on camera -- especially certain old people!"
But it isn't all retirement and golf and trips with wife Joy that have Regis leaving. It's ALLEGEDLY  about money, or the lack of money being lain at Regis' feet.
It seems that Regis Philbin's agent, Jim Griffin, was in negotiations with ABC executives for a new contract since his current deal expired and the execs made it clear they wanted Regis to take a pay cut. The executives say the reason for the pay cut is that the show is no longer performing as well as it has, and that, well, Regis takes too much time off. 
Sources--and by sources I mean Gelman--say Philbin earns between $18 and $20 million a year.
Well, Regis turned all diva at the mere suggestion that he take less than twenty million, and his anger sparked the retirement announcement, and the sudden firing of his agent for mismanaging the negotiations.
Moral of the story: don't piss on a TV diva's paycheck.

And speaking of Diva Philbin, while he isn't ready to say who he thinks should take his seat, there is a name of a possible replacement floating around.

Lisa Rinna.
A source--and by source, I mean Lisa Rinna--says, "Lisa has proved she can do the job. She has co-hosted the show with Regis, filled in for Joy Behar on her show and was even better than Billy Bush when she stepped into his shoes on Access Hollywood's new daytime show."
Yeah, but taking Regis and Kelly to Kelly and Lisa? I'm not sure that's a good fit. And plus, would Lisa go to all the trouble of moving her husband and children, not to mention her ginormous lips, from California to New York?
That would be some moving truck.
Lisa, probably knowing she should keep her mouth shut [if possible] will only say, "Regis taught me everything that I know. He is the King!"
But, desperate for a job, any job, since, well, no one hires her as an actress any longer, Rinna is quick to pint out that she almost had the job co-hosting the show ten years ago: "You know, back 10 years ago I filled in many times with Regis when Kathie Lee left. I've been so fortunate enough to co-host with him at least 10 times or more and was up for the job to replace Kathie Lee, but of course Kelly was the perfect choice for it."
Well, she might have been a good fit for Regis, but, again, Kelly and Lisa? I don't see it.

Rather than Top Chef, they should call this one Top Custody.

Earlier this week, Adam Dell, the father of Top Chef host Padma Lakshmi's baby, filed a lawsuit seeking full custody of their 11-month-old daughter Krishna. Dell decided to take this drastic step because he claims that Lakshmi told him she had hoped he has nothing to do with the pregnancy.
According to the 16-page lawsuit, Dell says that when he and Lakshmi were dating in 2009, she was also dating 70-year-old IMG boss Ted Forstmann, with whom she is currently in a relationship.
Dell claims that Lakshmi had hoped Forstmann was Krishna's father, and not Dell, and said Lakshmi even refused to put his name on the birth certificate. He claims she was trying "to minimize, if not eliminate [Dell's] role in Krishna's life and to install Forstmann as Krishna's father."
And, according to Dell, Padma ALLEGEDLY launched a cruel attack on him during a phone call in September 2009, calling him an 'unambitious' man with an 'uninteresting' career and 'unmemorable' friends.He also claims, in his lawsuit, that "Forstmann declared that Lakshmi, Krishna and he are a 'family' and they wished [Dell] would f*****g disappear."
Ouch.
Padma's lawyer, Jay Silverstein, calls Dell's suit "inaccurate and misleading" and adds, "We were in the process of negotiating permanent visitation rights when Dell terminated negotiations and this suit was filed. He remains more interested in garnering media attention than focusing on the welfare of his daughter....[Lakshmi is saddened and gravely disappointed that Mr. Dell has chosen a very public means of filing his petition with the court rather than doing so in a confidential or sealed manner which is customary in cases involving a very young child."
Hmmm, this could get ugly, like Marcel getting his hair cut ugly.

One thing one doesn't do, apparently, is bore Oprah Winfrey; though, it is quite accepted to be bored by Oprah Winfrey.

It seems that Sarah Ferguson, star of an upcoming reality show on Winfrey's new OWN network, is ALLEGEDLY being asked to go back and shoot more compelling footage before the show,  'Finding Sarah' debuts this spring.
A source--and by source I mean Oprah's husband Gayle--says, "Oprah isn't happy with the show...She found it boring...and has ordered reshoots to make it harder hitting, and more revealing."
Um, Oprah, you gasbag? If you reshoot scenes for a reality show, then how is that reality?
:::crickets::::
Yeah, further proof that Oprah has lost her grasp on reality, but not on that case of Ding Dongs under her bed.

I loves me some 'Housewives'. The New York bitches, and the Beverly Hills ho's. And now, there is another set of 'Housewives' being brought to Bravo to stir the pot.
And these  divas are from Miami.
I'm in.

And one of the reasons I'm in is that one of The Real Housewives of Miami is none other than blonde bombshell Elaine Lancaster, whose also goes by his non-drag name, James Davis.
That's right. One of the housewives is  a man....and a woman! This has fabulous written all over it.
Elaine will appear as both James and Elaine in the series, which is expected to debut this year. It is a reboot of an old, tired, Bravo show called Miami Social Club but it has been upgraded to Housewives!
It will also feature Scottie Pippen's wife, Larsa, and magazine editor Alexia Echeverria.
In Miami.
Miami? Drag queens? I'm so there!


And now, back to Oprah:
Everyone, well, not me, was stunned this week when Oprah Winfrey broke the news that she recently discovered she had a half-eaten sister, I mean, a half-sister she never knew about.

But, and this is the part of the story that makes me giggle, it seems people are so impressed that Oprah's newest semi-sibling, Patricia, cared so much about Oprah's privacy and reputation that she turned down million dollar offers from tabloid magazines to tell her story.
A source--and by source, I mean the man who keeps Oprah fed--says, "All Patricia wanted was the truth. She wasn't interested in selling her story even for a million dollars. She just wanted to know who she was, where she came from and if she had any brothers or sisters. She had no idea when she started this search she would end up being Oprah Winfrey's half-sister."
And people are just falling all over themselves, praising Patricia for not selling out, but, call me skeptical, would you sell your story to the tabloids for a million bucks, or would you keep that story to yourself, and find your sister who is worth 100-times that much money.
Yeah, Patricia didn't sell her story because she's a half-sister to the goose with the golden eggs.

And, well, this is becoming All-Oprah, All The Time:
While her audience may have been stunned with Oprah Winfrey's news of half-sister Patricia, they weren't the only ones.

Vernon Winfrey, O's father, had no idea at all about the half-sister until he tuned it to the show himself.
Upon hearing the good news, Vernon said, "I'm pleased for Oprah that she discovered that she has a new half-sister and I would like to meet her too. I intend to call Oprah later this evening actually to try and catch-up with her about the exciting news."
And, no doubt, to find out where she fits in the inheritance line.
And then we have Gayle's reaction to the news that her husband has a long lost half-sister.
Gayle told ABC News: "I can't wait to meet Patricia."

Gayle-speak for, "Let me size this bitch up."
A source--and by source I mean Steadman, Oprah's beard--says "Gayle must have mixed feelings about the arrival of Patricia. Of course she wants nothing but the best for Oprah, but there has to be just a little tiny part of Gayle that is asking, 'What now?'"
As in, "Does this cut my share of the fortune?"
We all know that Gayle is very protective of Oprah, and her bank accounts, and is not used to sharing her with anyone. Sources--and by sources I mean the team that hoists Oprah in and out of the tub each day--say, "This new addition to the family could be a bigger adjustment for Gayle than for Oprah."
But Gayle is trying to take the high road to Oprah's vault, by saying, "This is extraordinary that somebody would have this information about Oprah, who as you know has been sold out on many occasions by friends, by co-workers, in some cases family. Patricia wasn't trying to get Oprah, she was trying to find her mother ... having Oprah as a sister, a half-sister, was a bonus."
Yeah, the kind of bonus one gets from their boss every year; or used to, until the boss found out she has a sister.

Okay, enough O stories.

Onto Camille Grammer, who is set to receive some $50 million dollars in her divorce settlement from Kelsey Grammer.
Now, it seems, Camille wants just a teeny bit more. 
Camille is requesting the divorce court grant her additional $10 million just in case Kelsey suddenly, um, dies shortly after his marriage.
Camille's lawyer, Neal Hersh, says Camille is concerned that Kelsey's impending marriage to Kayte Walsh would affect her as Walsh would presumably receive some legal rights to property that is still subject to divorce proceedings between Kelsey and Camille.
Oh, Kayte might get some stuff Camille wants.
Camille's objection is that, should Kelsey remarry and then suddenly pass away, she would have to pay out of her own pocket for any litigation regarding his estate. And she'll only have $50 million, and a house in Malibu. Why, she might have to downsize to just three nannies, and just four friends on the payroll if Kelsey dies.
Oh.The.Humanity.

I Ain't One To Gossip, But..........

Okay Philly, you don't need to install extra security for the Cheesesteaks, Oprah ain't comin'.

It seems that Nomvuyo Mzamane, who said Big O ruined her professional reputation, and the Big O have resolved the issue without going to court.

Methinks Big O's bank account took a hit, if you get my meaning.

The trial was set for March 29th in Philadelphia after Lerato decided to sue, butt hat is no more. According to a statement:

"Ms. Winfrey testified in her deposition that she did not intend the implications placed on her words by the plaintiff. Ms. Mzamane testified in her deposition that she has no evidence that Ms. Winfrey knowingly made a false statement about her or entertained serious doubt about what she said."

Now, O does the non-apology-apology. You know, I said something bad, but I didn't mean for anyone to take it as such, so you can't sue me.

Back to the cakes, O.

Looks like non-convicted-murderer O.J. Simpson has a big old gay fanbase in the big house, and he seems to be loving it!

If we are to believe the words of an "unnamed" former prisoner, Simpson is known as 'Daddy Juice' around the cell block, and is doted upon and receives special privileges from a gaggle of gay inmates known as 'The Girls!' Unnamed source says:

"O.J. may be a pariah on the outside, but in prison, he's still a somebody. He's really tight with 'The Girls.' Whenever we'd be let out to the yard, O.J. would almost always hang out with them. The 'girls' treated him like he was a king."

Or, perhaps, a Queen.

It seems as though Top Chef hostess Padma Lakshmi has finally revealed the name of her baby daddy, but has gone on record as saying the daddy will have a limited role in the newborn's life.

Not so fast, though, says baby daddy, Adam Dell.

He is allegedly no longer happy with this arrangement and he has hired high-powered--is there any other kind?--attorney Bill Zabel to get him more visitation with his child.

May not help, because Padma and her peeps say the two had an agreement concerning his child that he can not go back on.

Whatever happened to the good old days when people got married, then had babies? And then they got all pissy and went off and hired high-powered mouthpieces to try and get them more time with the babies?

It's all bassackwards.

A teenager who appeared on that trash TV show, Wife Swap, has filed a $100 million lawsuit against ABC for airing what she claims was an exaggerated and staged portrayal of herself.

One-hundred-million dollars? I mean, c'mon, it's not like she's Tom Cruise and someone called her a homo!

Alicia Guastaferro, who appeared on the show in 2008 as a pageant princess, claims she was shown to be an utterly spoiled brat. She screeched at her mother over the preparation of her cereal; made her dad spray tan her legs; and, ALLEGEDLY, demanded a Christmas tree be in the house year-round so she could receive presents every day.

Huh! Maybe she is Tom Cruise! The suit claims that "[Guastaferro] does not receive a present every day," and that ABC purposefully staged scenes to "maximize [her] public embarrassment." The girl goes on to claim that, since her episode aired, she is being ridiculed by her peers, received death threats, and was actually assaulted. She claims to now suffer panic attacks and suicidal tendencies and was forced her to transfer schools, where she has gone from honor-roll to special-ed classes.

ABC says that Mama signed the proper agreements and received $20,000 to appear on the show, but the girl says she never consented.

Um, sweetie pie? You don't have to consent. As a minor, your parents made the decision for you, so, as my Idol Judge Judy would say:

Sue.Your.Parents.

Oh goddess no!

Jerry Springer is coming back to TV!

He will be the host of the new Game Show Network show "Baggage" in which contestants will have the opportunity to find a date, but not until after they reveal the worst qualities about themselves.

Sounds delightful. Springer says:

"I just keep finding jobs. I'm really lucky and I know that. Being a host is what I'm comfortable doing. I've been doing it forever, joking around with guests, having fun."

I wonder how long until some toothless transvestite who lives in a trailer in one of the square states in the middle and claims to have had an affair with her mother's parakeet and wound up pregnant with a tiny yellow baby throws a chair?

My bet is Episode One!

Reboot!

Mike Myers, who doesn't have a career outside of voicing Shrek or being Austin Powers, is currently at work on a fourth installment of the Powers franchise.

Seven years after the third one.

Director Jay Roach says: "[Mike is] working on ideas for it, people are definitely talking about it and I'm all good for it." he says Austin will go "somewhere you haven't thought of" in the next flick.

Like to the Don't-Do-It-Graveyard?

Just sayin'.

Speaking of the Don't-Do-It-Graveyard, Will Ferrell was set to make the sequel to that instant classic, Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgundy, but the project is on hold because it's been too difficult to get the original cast back together.

Hmmm, ever think the original cast doesn't want to do it?

Will Ferrell: "I thought we were doing it. I was told it was happening and now I've heard it's going to be too hard to get everyone together. Hopefully the director Adam McKay will be able to talk to all the guys individually and see if we can figure it out."

Hopefully not.

Still, Ferrell believes his own inner press agent and says he knows nothing can top the original: "We don't think we can make it as good. It would be really fun to do, so we might just try to make the craziest sequel you've ever seen. It could be terrible, but if they're going to pay us to do it, then why not, right?"

Wrong!