Bobservations

Every Sunday morning Carlos makes pancakes and café con leche for breakfast; this past Sunday, after he finished the coffee, I started to clean the espresso machine and noticed the hopper had no coffee grounds in it. At first I thought the grounds were stuck inside the machine, but no … it wasn’t that. Carlos had forgotten to put coffee in the hopper when he made the coffee and was going to serve steamed milk and hot water! I laughed hysterically and told him I would put it on my blog.

Later in the day, however, I’d forgotten the story and asked him to remind me of what had happened, which surprisingly he did, but then added:

“Oh, is someone getting old and forgetful?”

“Says the guy who forgot to put coffee in the espresso machine?”

Never a dull moment.

This Tuxedo Memory is from January 2017 right before we went to Miami for a long weekend and is entitled:

“This.That.

Tuxedo wanted to go and tried to stowaway in a suitcase but, alas, was unsuccessful.”

Every time we packed for a trip, or even a quick getaway, Tuxedo would pout and sulk, and then lay down inside the suitcase in the hopes that we wouldn’t seem him.

On the stand this week Michael Cohen recalled asking Hair Furor how Melanie was taking all the news of him schtupping the porn star and then paying her off and, ever the gentleman who clearly loves his wife, Hair Furor said:

“How long do you think I’ll be on the market for? Not long.”

He didn’t care about Melanie, only the damage the story would have on his campaign.

From my last job interview:

Interviewer: Are there any accomplishments from your last job that you’re particularly proud of?

Me: I’m responsible for ten new rules in the employee handbook.

Interviewer: That’s great! You wrote them?

Me: That’s not what I said.

And yet I got the job and I bet my boss loves/hates it every day!

A federal judge has rejected another request from former Hair Furor minion Peter Navarro to cut his four-month prison sentence short. Navarro is in prison for contempt of Congress after ducking a subpoena from the House committee that investigated the January 6 insurrection and asked Judge Amit Mehta to cut 30 days off his sentence in exchange for 30 days of supervised release.

Mehta said no.

Sorry, not sorry traitor.

The other day I read a story about Rudy Giuliani’s latest whine about The Big Lie and crying about his victim hood, and I went to Twitter, er, X, to post about it using my usual Rudy hashtag, #DrunkleRudy, to describe him. I also wanted to tag him so I went to his X page and saw this:

My day had been made; I felt almost as good as when the late Kirstie Alley blocked me.

Make this make sense: nearly one in five voters in battleground states say that President Biden is responsible for ending Roe v Wade, despite the fact that he supports abortion rights and that it was the three judges Hair Furor appointed who made it possible to overturn Roe.

According to pollsters, however, those voters are Hair Furor supporters AKA voters and are clearly less educated.

MAGAts are stupid? You don’t say?

Mitch Walker is an Australian model-actor with a bachelor’s degree in psychology, but Would You Hit It?

Meme Dump

Bobservations

He said this …

“Cinco de Mayo, Spanish for "Fifth of May, is an annual celebration to commemorate the Mexican Army's victory over the French Empire at the Battle of Puebla in 1862. The victory of the smaller Mexican force against a larger French force was a boost to morale for the Mexicans. A year later, a larger French force defeated Zaragoza at the Second Battle of Puebla, and Mexico City soon fell to the invaders.”

I said this:

“Hey professor, there are people waiting to pay for their groceries. Can we reschedule the lecture?”

It all began when a Food Lion cashier asked if we were ready for Cinco de Mayo.

Last week the House Judiciary Committee advanced the Equality Act, which would add sexual orientation and gender identity to existing federal civil rights laws, to the full House.

It passed the committee by a 22-10 vote margin with every single Republican committee member voting against it … against equality for LGBTQ Americans.

Think about that when it comes time to vote.

Recently Michael Elizabeth Pence delivered a speech to sailors aboard the aircraft carrier USS Harry S. Truman while it was docked at Naval Station Norfolk in Virginia.

Pence and sailors? He must have been in heaven! But the interesting part is that before Pence began spewing his lies, the sailors aboard ship were instructed to cheer they were “at a strip club” for the speech.

Not an all-male revue, mind you, though I bet Pence pictured some of those sailors nekkid while he spoke.

PS Command Master Chief Jonas Carter, the man who told the sailors to "clap like we're at a strip club" has resigned over his comment.

Last week the entire confirmation class at First United Methodist Church in Omaha, Nebraska announced to their congregation that they have decided not to become members due to the church’s stance on LGBTQ issues:

“We have spent the year learning about our faith and clarifying our beliefs. Most of us started the confirmation year assuming that we would join the church at the end, but with the action of the general conference in February, we are disappointed about the direction the United Methodist denomination is heading. We are concerned that if we join at this time, we will be sending a message that we approve of this decision. We want to be clear that, while we love our congregation, we believe that the United Methodist policies on LGBTQ+ clergy and same sex marriage are immoral. Depending on how this church responds to the general conference action, we will decide at a later time whether or not to become officially confirmed. But until then, we will continue to stand up against the unjust actions that the denomination is taking. We are not standing just for ourselves, we are standing for every single member of the LGBTQ+ community who is hurting right now. Because we were raised in this church, we believe that if we all stand together as a whole, we can make a difference.”

The eight teenagers received a standing ovation from the congregation for their decision to stand up for Christian values in the face of systemic discrimination.

Yasssssss!

While speaking Dallas, Pete Buttigieg was interrupted by five hecklers in a 10-minute period. The hecklers were organized by Randall Terry, who also organized the heckling Buttigieg received when he was in Iowa last month, so apparently homophobe Randall Terry is following Pete Buttigieg all over the country like a lovesick schoolboy.

For his part, Pete did not engage, though after the heckling began, he did say:

“I’m thinking of that scripture that says blessed and do not curse.”

And as one of the hecklers was escorted out, Buttigieg recalled:

"That moment when I was packing my bags for Afghanistan for the purpose of defending that gentleman’s freedom of speech.”

Thanks, Pete, for rising above.

A judge handed down 10 years' probation last week to Shane Piche, a former New York school bus driver, after Piche admitted to raping a 14-year-old girl.

Probation for rape? Judge James McClusky said it was because Piche had no prior arrests and there was only one victim.

So, if you do nothing else wrong and rape just the one child, you get a slap on the wrist?

Piche is white. Go figure.

More? A former priest who had a sexual relationship with a 14-year-old girl and impregnated her while he was a Catholic priest, will be allowed to keep his job as a middle school teacher.

Rev. Joseph DeShan, as he was formerly known, left the priesthood after a sexual relationship with the teenager came to light and a baby was born. He left the priesthood after raping a child and took a job teaching sixth-grade students at Cinnaminson Middle School, where parents were in opposition to his role as a teacher. 

DeShan, now a 22-year employee of the Cinnaminson School District, was given a verdict that he will stay in his role despite complaints from parents.

Also ...white man.

Well, this week former _____ henchman-fixer-lawyer Michael Cohen began his three-year prison sentence this week but not before the story broke that he in 2016 he had helped evangelical leader religious hypocrite Jerry Falwell Jr. get rid of some “racy personal photos” and that right after Cohen’s assistance, Falwell endorsed _____ for the presidency.

Apparently, Falwell, president of Liberty University, said someone had come into possession of what Cohen called racy “personal” photographs—the sort that would typically be kept “between husband and wife.” Cohen intervened, obtained the photos and they were destroyed.

Huh; wonder what was in the pictures? But I guess we’ll never know. We do know, however, that Jerry Falwell Jr. confirmed that he loaned $1.8 million to a young pool attendant he and his wife had befriended while staying six years ago at the Fontainebleau Miami Beach.

A lawsuit claimed that Falwell and his wife had developed a “friendly relationship” in 2012 with Giancarlo Granda, then 21 years old, and helped “set him up in business.” Falwell claims he gave Granda the loan “in exchange for his agreement to serve as local manager”  but there is no explanation as to why Falwell invested so heavily in the hotel project or why Granda was hired as the manager despite having no relevant experience in real estate or hotel management.

Again; wonder what was in those pictures?

It’s almost Summer, and nothing says heat like a hot Brazilian model in tiny swimwear.

So … Leonardo Dinali.

You’re welcome.

The Funny Papers

Michael de Adder, Tom Curry, Mike Luckovich, Jim Morin, Darrin Bell, Chris Britt, Bill Day, Nick Anderson, Clay Bennett, Drew Sheneman

The Funny Papers

Darrin Bell, David Horsey, Nate Beeler, Scott Stantis, RJ Matson, Paul Szep, Bruce Plante, Clay Bennett, Steve Breen, Chris Britt,