I Didn't Say It ...

Michelangelo Signorile, on the GOP’s attempted coup:

“The Republicans who are backing this attempt truly believe in _____ism, in authoritarian rule and in subverting democracy if they don’t win elections. Or they are ambitious enough to promote such a fascistic action—which, in the end, is not any different than being a true believer. They’re attempting a coup, and practice makes perfect even if it fails this time. We’re not going to beat them back unless we start calling this attempted overthrow of our government exactly what it is.”

All the more reason to remember who started this, who joined in, and vote them all the hell out of office.

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Mitt Romney, GOP Senator, on _____ inciting the riot at the Capitol this week, and those lawmakers challenging the 2020 election results:

"We gather today due to a selfish man’s injured pride and the outrage of his supporters whom he has deliberately misinformed for the past two months and stirred to action this very morning. What happened here today was an insurrection, incited by the President of the United States. Those who choose to continue to support his dangerous gambit by objecting to the results of a legitimate, democratic election will forever be seen as being complicit in an unprecedented attack against our democracy. They will be remembered for their role in this shameful episode in American history. That will be their legacy. The objectors [Ted Cruz and Josh Hawley] have claimed they are doing so on behalf of the voters. Have an audit, they say, to satisfy the many people who believe that the election was stolen. Please! No Congressional led audit will ever convince those voters, particularly when the President will continue to claim that the election was stolen. The best way we can show respect for the voters who are upset is by telling them the truth. That is the burden, and the duty, of leadership. The truth is that President-elect Biden won this election. President _____ lost. Scores of courts, the President’s own Attorney General, and state election officials both Republican and Democrat have reached this unequivocal decision."

Let’s be clear, Mittsy is probably planning to run for president again as the New GOP, AKA GOP2.0, but he does get props for calling out the co-conspirators.

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Derrick Evans, the newly elected ReTHUGlican terrorist member of the West Virginia House of Delegates, who was among the insurgents:

“We’re in! We’re in! We’re in! We’re in! Derrick Evans is in the Capitol!”

Congratulations West Virginia. You elected a domestic terrorist to office. You’ve placed a traitor to this country in power.

Reap what you sow.

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Ilhan Omar, Democratic Representatives from Minnesota, often the subject of ______ and MAGAt racism, after the riots:

“I am drawing up Articles of Impeachment. Donald J. Trump should be impeached by the House of Representatives & removed from office by the United States Senate. We can’t allow him to remain in office, it’s a matter of preserving our Republic and we need to fulfill our oath.”

Sounds nice, but that will take too long.

Demand the Cabinet involve the 25^th Amendment and remove him now.

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Ed Markey, Democratic Congressman from Massachusetts, placing blame where it belongs:

“Donald _____ is responsible for today's coup at the Capitol and the attack on our government and democracy. He is a direct threat to our country. He needs to be impeached, removed from office, and barred from ever holding office again.”

Again … get his Cabinet to take this rabid dog down.

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Chuck Schumer, Democratic Senator from New York, and current Senate Minority Leader, after the terror attack:

“It is very, very difficult to put into words what has transpired today. I have never lived through or even imagined an experience like the one we have just witnessed in this Capitol. President Franklin Roosevelt set aside Dec. 7, 1941, as a day that will live in infamy. Unfortunately, we can now add Jan. 6, 2021, to that very short list of dates in American history that will live forever in infamy.

This temple to democracy was desecrated, its windows smashed, our offices vandalized. … The House and Senate floors were places of shelter until the evacuation was ordered, leaving rioters to stalk these hallowed halls. Lawmakers and our staffs, Average citizens who love their country, serve it every day, feared for their lives. I understand that one woman was shot and tragically lost her life. We mourn her and feel for her friends and family.

These images were projected for the world. Foreign embassies cabled their home capitals to report the harrowing scenes at the very heart of our democracy. This will be a stain on our country not so easily washed away – the final, terrible, indelible legacy of the 45th president of the United States, undoubtedly our worst.

I want to be very clear: Those who performed these reprehensible acts cannot be called protesters—no,  these were rioters and insurrectionists, goons and thugs, domestic terrorists. They do not represent America. They were a few thousand violent extremists who tried to take over the Capitol building and attack our democracy. They must and should be prosecuted to the full extent of the law—hopefully by this administration, if not certainly by the next. They should be provided no leniency.

….

But make no mistake, make no mistake, my friends, today's events did not happen spontaneously. The president, who promoted conspiracy theories and motivated these thugs, the president who exhorted them to come to our nation's capital, egged them on—he hardly ever discourages violence and more often encourages it—this president bears a great deal of the blame. This mob was in good part President _____'s doing, incited by his words, his lies. This violence, in good part his responsibility, his ever-lasting shame. Today's events certainly—certainly—would not have happened without him. Now, Jan. 6 will go down as one of the darkest days in recent American history.

A final warning to our nation about the consequences of a demagogic president, the president who enable him, the captive media that parrots his lies and the people who follow him as he attempts to push America to the brink of ruin. As we reconvene tonight, let us remember, in the end all this mob has really accomplished is to delay our work by a few hours. We will resume our responsibilities now, and we will finish our task tonight. The House and Senate chambers will be restored good as new and ready for legislating in short order. The counting of the electoral votes is our sacred duty.

Democracy's roots in this nation are deep, they are strong. They will not be undone ever by a group of thugs. Democracy will triumph, as it has for centuries. So, to my fellow Americans who are shocked and appalled by the images on their televisions today and who are worried about the future of this country, let me speak to you directly: The divisions in our country clearly run deep, but we are a resilient, forward-looking and optimistic people, and we will begin the hard work of repairing this nation tonight because here in America we do hard things. In America, we always overcome our challenges.”

And now … something good because I need a smile:

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Raphael Warnock, speaking about his mother, and his historic win in Georgia:

"The other day, because this is America, the 82-year-old hands that used to pick somebody else's cotton went to the polls and picked her youngest son to be a United States senator."

This is America, as it should be.

Now, I need a minute. I’ve got something in my eye.

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The Funny Papers

Bill Day, Darrin Bell, Kevin Siers, Joe Heller, David Fitzsimmons, Ed Hall, Nick Anderson, Bill Bramhall, Jack Ohman, Clay Bennett

I Didn't Say It ...

Sarah Sanders, White House Lap Dog, saying members of Congress aren’t “smart enough” to examine _____’s tax returns:

“I don’t think Congress—particularly not this group of congressmen and women—are smart enough to look through the thousands of pages that I would assume that President Trump’s taxes will be. My guess is most of them don’t do their own taxes, and I certainly don’t trust them to look through the decades of success that the president has and determine anything.”

Wait. Is huckleberry inferring that _____ does his own taxes?

Is she inferring that lawyers and businesspeople, and a good many members of Congress are lawyers and businesspeople, can’t read a tax return?

Oh Huck, you ignorant fool. I cannot wait for the book you’re going to write, and try to shill everywhere you can, about the horrors of this White House and how brave you were to stick around.

So, I’ll say now what I’d say to you then, ’Fuck off., co-conspirator.’

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Ilhan Omar, Muslim Democratic Congressman, speaking at a March event for the Muslim civil rights organization Council on American-Islamic Relations [CAIR]:

“Far too long [Muslims] have lived with the discomfort of being a second-class citizen, and frankly, I’m tired of it, and every single Muslim in this country should be tired of it … CAIR was founded after 9/11 because they recognized that some people did something and that all [Muslims] were starting to lose access to our civil liberties.”

Sounds pretty straight forward, but then _____ and his anti-Muslim and anti-women cohorts in the GOP began to attack Omar for the words ‘some people did something.’ ____ even co-opted the post-9/11 phrase ‘Never Forget’ as an attack on Omar.

Perhaps reading her entire quote was too hard for them?

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Pete Buttigieg, an Afghanistan veteran, defending Omar:

“After 9/11 we all said we were changed. That we were stronger and more united. That’s what ‘never forget’ was about. Now, a president uses that dark day to incite his base against a member of Congress, as if for sport. As if we learned nothing that day about the workings of hate. That day, some people did this: killed thousands of Americans in order to try to make us smaller, more divided and less free. To weaken us by distancing us from our own values through fear and anger. This is the function of terrorism. I served overseas, at risk to my life, in the struggle against such terrorism. But it can only be fully defeated if we have leaders at home who defuse its capacity to sow hate—hate against Islam or against any number of ‘others.’ The president today made America smaller. It is not enough to condemn him; we must model something better.’”

This is how a human being responds.

This is how a president responds.

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Kellyanne Conway, White House Cryptkeeper, saying a lot of Democrats don’t like these new upstarts in Congress, like AOC, Rashida Tlaib and Ilhan Omar:

“There’s a great deal of frustration among rank and file members who represent more moderate districts and frankly who represent districts that Donald Trump won in 2016. They’re very frustrated. They’ve been to the White House. They talk to people like me, quietly, saying they wish the radical freshman who get all the magazine covers and all the ink and airtime, [are causing] trouble in Pelosi paradise.”

Kellyanne Conway, who never met a fact she didn’t lie about, wants us to believe that democrats come to her to complain about their colleagues?

Kellyanne? What I said about Huck applies to you, too; especially the last bit.

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Andrew Garfield, actor, on the anger in the LGBTQ community about straight actors taking LGBTQ roles:

“I understand the complaint. I think Tony Kushner put it best. He said, ‘It’s illegal for me to ask someone who they f**k in terms of hiring them for a job. That’s none of my business who someone sleeps with. The only question I have as the playwright is, are they right for this character?’ He said that if we only let people play who they are, then it’s the death of empathic imagination. I think that’s beautifully put, and I agree with it. [But] taking such a role means potentially taking it away from an LGBTQ person. The community has suffered so much oppression. As a straight, white male, with so much privilege in this world, I believe my job right now is to pay attention, to listen and to be an ally.”

I can see both sides now, though if more actors came out as gay, you wouldn’t have to ask who they f**k in order to decide if they get the role because you’d know the gay actor from the straight one.

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Michael Elizabeth Pence, the cheerleader for the porn President, spinning _____’s enthusiastic reaction to WikiLeaks’ release of damaging material on Hillary Clinton during the 2016 presidential race was mot an endorsement of the organization:

“I think the president always, as you and the media do, always welcomes information. But that was in no way an endorsement of an organization that we now understand was involved in disseminating classified information by the United States of America.”

Oh Mike, you lying sack of excrement. Your boss, who will seal your political fate cited WikiLeaks 141 times at 56 events in the last month of the campaign.

God, even the one you supposedly believe in, doesn’t like lairs. She’s gonna be so mad you.

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Bobservations

Well, this isn’t so much about Carlos this week, although in the vein of being fully transparent, it’s been a rough week for us at Casa Bob y Carlos, with tempers flaring and feelings hurt. And by a “week” I mean a day and a half because, though we rarely fight, when we do, it’s said and done and over rather quickly, and then we move on.

Still, as I said, this is about me; I’m a faller, in that I’m clumsy and I fall down, not a lot, but when I do …

Years back, living in Miami, I was taking our dog for a walk; we lived in a gated community, so the streets were safe and quiet. As I was returning home, and crossing the street in front of our house, I checked both ways …no cars, no people. I crossed, and in the middle of the road I stepped on a pebble …an actual pea-sized pebble, and down to the ground I went. Then, as I started to stand up, I noticed there were now three cars in the road, all stopping to see the oaf in the road, as well as several groupings of neighbors who’d appeared out of nowhere.

Cut to Smallville … I needed something from the garage, so I stepped down the two steps into the garage, got what I needed, and as I started back into the kitchen, I clearly forgot we had two steps, and hit the bottom one and started to fall through the open doorway. It was all very slo-mo, and I distinctly remember, as I was falling, the one thought that came into my head … God that kitchen floor is ugly.

And now this week, we had a couple of cold night, so I was bundled up in bed, with Tuxedo sleeping on my side as he likes to do. I wanted to turn over and so I gently nudged him off me, apologized for disturbing him, and turned over; but when I reached for my pillow, it wasn’t there. It must have fallen to the floor, so, eyes closed because, in addition to being a faller, I’m an idiot, I reached down to get my pillow not realizing I was lying right on the edge, and fell out of bed, dropping the three feet to the floor.

No harm, no foul, but it did wake Carlos—though how that happened I don’t know because the man sleeps through hurricanes—and he asked what happened and if I was okay. Luckily, I had just bruised my ego and as I got back into bed and was about to doze off, and just as Tuxedo perched himself on my back again, Carlos muttered sleepily:

“Should I get you a crib?”

I was too embarrassed to kill him.

Rightwingnut Brazilian President Jair Bolsonaro—which I believe is Spanish for Donald ____—said he believes that the crimes of the Holocaust can be forgiven, though not forgotten.

More than six million dead, but let’s forgive? Can we also forget that earlier this month, Bolsonaro visited the Holocaust memorial in Jerusalem alongside Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu and called Nazism a leftist ideology? Can we forget that, in 1998, as federal deputy in Brazil’s Congress, Bolsonaro defended students at a military school in Porto Alegre who voted for Adolf Hitler, among other figures, as the historic character they admired the most?

No, we can forget; and we won’t forgive.

Jessy Taylor, an Instagram “influencer”—whatever that means—with more than 100,000 followers, had her account reinstated by the site a week after it was removed in error after it kept getting reported as spam.

Taylor complained, with a straight face I imagine, that losing her account felt like “a murder” and because that’s how it felt, she reported the closure of her account to the police who told her she couldn’t compare what happened to a homicide.

Someone needs to lay hands on this girl, because this is a direct quote from Jessy Taylor:

“I’m nothing without my following.”

Oh honey, I have news for you …

And as if we needed proof that Republicans are dumb—some, to be fair, not all—let’s listen to Congressman Thomas Massie questioning John Kerry’s credentials, specifically his college degree, a Bachelor of Arts in Political Science.

Thomas Massie: “It sounds like you’re questioning the credentials of the president’s advisers currently, but I think we should question your credentials today. Isn’t it true you have a science degree from Yale?”

John Kerry: “Bachelor of Arts degree.”

Massie: “Is it a political science degree?”

Kerry: “Yes, political science.”

Massie: “So, how do you get a Bachelor of Arts in a science?”

Kerry: “Well, it’s a liberal arts education and degree … it’s a Bachelor—”

Massie: “OK, so it’s not really science. So, I think it’s somewhat appropriate that someone with a pseudoscience degree is here pushing pseudoscience in front of our committee today.”

Kerry, after a long pause: “Are you serious? I mean, this is really a serious happening here?”

It is, because Thomas Massie thinks a Bachelor of Arts in Political Science is some kind of scientific degree. And Thomas Massie is an elected official, y’all.

The fire that destroyed the roof and at least one spire of Notre Dame is out now, but embers of stupidity linger on …

As messages of support and donations to rebuild the iconic structure—nearly a billion dollars pledged so far—came in, our president sent out that Tweet:

“So horrible to watch the massive fire at Notre Dame Cathedral in Paris. Perhaps flying water tankers could be used to put it out. Must act quickly!”

In response, the official Twitter account of the Sécurité Civile—the French equivalent of FEMA—responded:

“Hundreds of firemen of the Paris Fire Brigade are doing everything they can to bring the terrible #NotreDame fire under control. All means are being used, except for water-bombing aircrafts. which, if used, could lead to the collapse of the entire structure of the cathedral.”

American Twitterers also responded, reminding the world, and _____, of his own idiotic responses to devastating fires in California—“Rake the forest”—and his failure to even mention the recent arsonist attacks on three black churches in Louisiana.

Luckily, a real President tweeted his thoughts; Barack Obama said:

“Notre Dame is one of the world’s great treasures, and we’re thinking of the people of France in your time of grief. It’s in our nature to mourn when we see history lost—but it’s also in our nature to rebuild for tomorrow, as strong as we can.”

And then Presidential hopeful, Pete Buttigieg offered his thoughts to the French people, by speaking French:

“Au peuple de France je voudrais dire que la cathédrale Notre Dame, c’était comme un cadeau à l’espèce humaine. Nous partageons la douleur mais nous vous remercions aussi de ce cadeau à la civilisation.”

"To the people of France, I would like to say that Notre-Dame Cathedral was like a gift to the human race. We share the pain, but we also thank you for this gift to civilization."

But hey, water tankers, you know, and thoughts and prayers.

Last week, _____ took on freshman Congresswoman Ilhan Omar over a couple of words in a much longer statement about 9/11; _____ tried to paint Omar as anti-American, and in doing so fanned the flames of his base, when then sent death threats to Omar and her family.

On the upside, though, and perhaps a sign of the times, in the days following _____’s hate speech, Omar raised some $832,000, most of it—$415,000—coming from people who gave less than $200.

People are growing tired of _____’s divisive hate speech … well, except for his racist base.

Remember disgraced former GOP Congressman Aaron Schock? Of the turquoise belt and the Downton Abbey office remodel?

Well, he apparently spent the weekend at Coachella partying with a bunch of hot shirtless gay men, and was ALLEGEDLY intimate with at least one; but here’s the rub … and not the kind of rub that most gay men might want.

While serving as the Illinois Representative, Schock’s voting record was decidedly anti-LGBTQ … he voted against adding ‘sexual orientation, gender identity, gender and disability’ to the federal hate crime protection groups, against the repeal of ‘Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell,’ and for the Defense of Marriage Act, which defined marriage as between a man and a woman.

If he’s gay, he’s the worst kind of closeted, hypocritical, sell my community down the river, self-loathing kind of gay. So, when you finally come out Aaron, please note that many of us will remember your hate, for yourself and our community.

Speaking of hateful gays, it looks like Empire actor, and hate crime faker, Jussie Smollett is no longer under consideration for a role in the upcoming Broadway revival of Richard Greenberg’s 2003 play, Take Me Out, about a closeted baseball player.

The Daily Mail reported that producers were ready to announce the casting of Smollett and Zachary Quinto but plans changed following the late January incident in which Smollett ALLEGEDLY faked being attacked in a hate crime.

Again, we know Jussie lied because he said it was two white men; he said he could see the skin around their eyes in the masks they wore. But we also know it was two black men—ALLEGEDLY hired by Smollett-who actually beat him up.

So, Jussie …sorry, not sorry. Until you take responsibility for your actions and explain why two men who knew you attacked you, to me your career is over.

Bye Felicia,

Oh dear … Benjamin Poirier … model, dancer.

The body; the ass; the way he sits nekkid around the house, or perks up a window sill. The dance!

Uh huh.

Bobservations

So …because we live in a house with animals, we once again needed to have the carpets cleaned—we have family visiting in a couple of weeks, too, so there’s that.

We called the company we normally use and they came out and cleaned the rugs and everything is nice and new and purty for guests, but … after Darnell finished working we sat in the kitchen chatting for a moment and writing out the check. We offered him some tea …because it’s the south and that’s what you do … and h accepted. But then he asked us how we make the tea.

“Lipton and organic sugar,” I say.

And he proceeds to tell us that, after completing another job, the homeowner offered him some ta and as he was drinking the tea, the client told him they make their tea with tea leaves and pot leaves.

Seriously. I told Darnell that was almost like getting roofied.

Only in the South.

An Indiana man, listed in court papers as John Doe 1, is suing Father James Grear, the Catholic church, and the Roman Catholic Diocese of Lafayette.

John Doe 1 claims Grear, his former priest, sexually abused him at a Catholic youth rally in 1982. He returned home after the rally, and later attended confession in his home church where he told Bishop Raymond Gallagher what happened to him. Gallagher told him to “forget about the abuse, to ask God to forgive him, and not to disclose the abuse to anyone else.”

That’s the Catholic church; blaming the victim and saving themselves for eons.

First Lady Melanie ______is taking her “Be Best” campaign to Africa—home of those “shithole” countries her husband referred to—because there are no children in this country who could benefit from her own experience of being married to the biggest bully of them all.

Like, oh, I dunno, kids in cages?

In 2016, Ilhan Omar, a Somali-American, was elected a Democratic-Farmer-Labor Party member of the Minnesota House of Representatives becoming the first Somali-American legislator elected to office in the United States.

Today, Omar is positioned to become only one of two Muslim-American women to … hopefully … win a congressional primary election—the other is Michigan Democratic House nominee Rashida Tlaib. So, who exactly is Ilhan Omar?

“I’m a legislator, a refugee, and a working mom. But above all, I’m an organizer. And I’m ready to organize for the America we deserve … We started this campaign to prove people are ready and willing to fight for an America that works for all of us. To every staff member, volunteer, donor, and voter, this win is just as much yours as it is mine. I will fight in Congress to uplift the voices of the LGBTQIA+ community, and especially when that intersects with other marginalized identities. I will fight to end the epidemic of bullying and violence against queer youth. Young LGBTQIA+ are disproportionately affected by mental illness, homelessness, and drug abuse and addiction. We must treat these issues as a public health crisis. Together, we will move our district, state and nation forward.”

Forward. Omar’s campaign revolve around Medicare for all, abolishing ICE, tuition-free college, and raising the minimum wage to $15 an hour.

Forward; not backwards like our current leadership.

Best meme I saw this whole week about Lindsey Graham’s hissy fit at the Kavanaugh hearings said:

Funny, cuz it’s true.

We all know _____ is a misogynistic pig, but it was painfully on display at a press conference this week when ABC News White House correspondent Cecilia Vega was given the chance to ask a question.

The Fat Bastard first claimed that Vega was in a “state of shock” that he called on her, but she replied:

“I’m not, thank you …”

And the pig interrupted by saying:

“I know you’re not thinking. You never do.”

Yes. He did. And because he’s a lying piece of filth who surrounds himself with other lying pieces of filth, when the White House released the transcript of the exchange, they claimed _____ actually said:

“I know you’re not thanking. You never do.”

And they seriously expect people to believe their own ears over a lying, misogynistic dirtbag.

Not today Satan.

And if any of you still support this man, well, F**k off.

After mocking a disabled reporter on the campaign trail, after mocking John McCain for being a prisoner of war, after mocking a family who lost their son in war, the other night he mocked Dr. Christine Blasey Ford, a victim of sexual assault.

Now, we know that his most ardent supporters are evangelicals, but if they can overlook all of this and still cheer him, they have lost all meaning of being a Good Christian and are, in fact, vile little angry racist sheep.

Who will burn in hell.

This week the State Department began imposing a new policy restricting visas for the same-sex partners of staff of U.S.-based international organizations, such as the United Nations, the World Bank and the International Monetary Fund.

Cuz, you know,_____ hates the gays, and hates any policy enacted by Obama.

I’m not one for medical shows—they tend to get very graphic these days—but I caught a preview of New Amsterdam the other day and the Heat Meter went off.

It stars Ryan Eggold, who’s handsome, in away, but he has a wry smile and twinkle in his wink that makes me wanna play doctor with him.

And it also stars Jocko Sims who is JPH … Just Plain Hot.

I may have to check myself into New Amsterdam …for a physical.