Ain't That America XXXVI

Another week and the war that isn’t a war rages on, with the threat of ground troops and a President who has said he’s now bored by the whole thing. How comforting to the families who’ve lost loved ones or have had loved ones injured in the war to know that Cankles isn’t enjoying himself any longer. So, what else is happening …

Cankles, who has long railed against mail-in voting and calling it “mail-in-cheating” voted by mail in a Florida special election last week.

I wonder if he’s going to call his vote mail-in cheating after Democrat Emily Gregory won the election and now represents Cankles’ district in the Florida state house.

 

Vermont Democrat Senator Peter Welch and Connecticut Democrat Senator Richard Blumenthal released new information on payments made under a subcontract issued to The Strategy Group as part of the $220 million advertising campaign for recently-canned Secretary of Homeland Security Kristi Noem. 

Expenses included a $60,000 “signing bonus” to Strategy Group, a $20,000 horse rental, $4,000 in hair and makeup services, $52,599 to videography, photography, and production vendors, $100,000 in labor costs, $500 to Magic Makers, Inc, a magic store in Sioux Falls Idaho plus $42,000 to “other” venders for a total of $286,000 in taxpayer dollars for Noem to film commercials.

DogKiller, adulterer, grifter and thief.

 

Cankles, who for years has played Elvis Presley’s music at his campaign rallies and often compared himself to Presley, went to Graceland last week while his illegal war raged in Iran,

Let that sink in.

 

Saudi Arabia’s de facto leader, Prince Mohammed bin Salman, has been pushing Cankles to continue the illegal war against Iran, arguing that the US-Israeli military campaign presents a “historic opportunity” to remake the Middle East.

So now he’s taking war advice from the country of the 9/11 hijackers.

Let that sink in.

MAGAt Republican Lauren “The Groper” Boebert has once again tried curry favor with Cankles by praising the installation of the ICEstapo in airports by posting a video on her social media:

“ICE agents show up at airports. While the rest of our country has three-plus-hour waits—thanks Democrats—in Minneapolis Airport’s TSA, wait time right now is less than five minutes.”

And then she added “you can’t make this stuff up!!” Only, she can and she did make it all up, There were no ICEstapo agents at  Minneapolis-St. Paul International Airport, or any other airports in Minnesota.

Before Kristi DogKiller Noem was even out the door after getting fired, her more than 10 framed glamour shots hanging on the walls of one of her Washington offices were being taken down by staff.

Her replacement, Markwayne Mullin, began work right away, undoing the unprecedented regulations that Noem and her lover, Corey Lewandowski, had imposed across the department.

Wait, so then even the GOP knew she was a grifting con artist?

 

Matt Schlapp, head of the American Conservative Union, led the crowd at CPAC [Conservative Political Action Conference] in an unintentional cheer for Cankles’ impeachment when he asked the audience:

“How many of you would like to see impeachment hearings?”

The crowd cheered and Schlapp stammered:

“That was the wrong answer. We’ll try it again. How many of you would like to see impeachment hearings?”

And again the crowd cheered.

Despite these alleged peace talks, Pete Hegseth would rather the killings continue because according to DUI Pete “we negotiate with bombs” when it comes to Iran.

War criminals all of them, and when the Cankles runs to Russia and Saudi Arabia to hide I hope they drag Hegseth into court and sentence him for his murderous reign.

 

Melanie held something called the "Melanie’s Fostering the Future Together Global Coalition Summit at the US State Department" which was about education and spent all of eight minutes in attendance saying:

“As people we dream. As leaders we progress. As nations we will build. Beginning today, let’s accelerate our new global alliance, this bond, to positively impact the progress of our children.”

The only thing "accelerating" was Melanie running out of the building like a Slovenian Hooker on the stroll and making it clear she doesn’t give a shiz about education.

Fuck her.

 

Mike “The Littlest” Johnson and the GOP gave the first-ever 'America First award' to Cankles. Johnson handed a gold eagle statue and said the event would be an annual honor.

With Cankles winning every year.

Minnesota Republican Representative Elliott Engen was arrested last week on suspicion of drunk driving. White Bear Lake Police Chief Dale Hager said that officers pulled over a vehicle for traffic violations, including speeding, expired tabs and a broken headlight and arrested Engen for suspicion of driving while impaired after blowing a BAC of .13.

Engen once said Democrats are “drunk at the wheel on systemic fraud.” Oops.

The Senate voted last week to fund the Department of Homeland Security except for the ICEstapo, raising the prospect of an end to a weekslong partial shutdown that has strained federal workers and caused long waits at airports. The package will next be considered by the House, which was scheduled to convene last Friday morning.

This is another win for Democrats.

 

Republican Senator Lisa Murkowski of Alaska who has harshly criticized the Cankles Regime for keeping Congress in the dark on combat operations in Iran has begun drafting legislation that would force lawmakers to vote for the first time on whether to authorize the war.

Let’s see how many Republicans will stand with the Constitution against their Cult Leader.

 

Due to the impact on resources from the longstanding government shutdown, Delta airlines temporarily suspended all specialty services to members of Congress. Delta has long operated a special congressional service desk that helped members of Congress book trips at government rates, make last-minute ticketing changes and even reserve seats on multiple flights on the same day to accommodate congressional votes.

Delta CEO Ed Bastian suspended that service and said the TSA agents who screen passengers at airports are being used as “political chips” in congressional negotiations over DHS funding.

The resistance.

 

Cankles’ approval rating ​fell again to its lowest point since he returned to the White House due to an illegal war, the high price of gasoline, and his fucking ineptitude.

And then we had a booming turnout across the country and around the world for No Kings Day; estimates suggest between 8 and ten million in the US alone! The Resistance is real, and we played our part in lil ol’ Columbia, South Carolina where thousands turned out.

Keep it up and never forget:

Bobservations

So we’ve had the roof repaired and replaced over the sunroom after having the skylights removed, but now we need to decide what to do with the ceiling inside the sunroom.

The ceiling had originally been these roughhewn wood panels that I painted a light blue when we moved in, but we cannot het that same wood and  it’s cheaper just to get something new. So our contractor called and wanted to discuss the new ceiling and I said I wanted beadboard that I would then paint blue. He said we’d have to decide how to finish it along the walls … one-by-two-inch straps, a coved molding, quarter round, regular crown or shoe molding … I said probably quarter round was best and we hung up. Carlos looked at me and said:

“Why are you and Craig talking about moldy shoes? I thought we were talking about the ceiling.”

I adore that man.

Here’s Tuxedo, still in lockdown mode, from January 2021:

I seriously hope he’s only thinking of the dog. I mean, he wouldn’t want to quarantine without me, would he? I’m worried …

The other day on Mitchell’s blog, Moving With Mitchell, he talked about a dinner of Salmorejo, a Spanish cold tomato soup similar to gazpacho. And  David, at The Adventures of Travel Penguin posted a link to the recipe so naturally I wanted to try it because I love Gazpacho,

This soup doesn’t have the veggies in it, it is a simple combination of tomatoes, day old bread torn into pieces, a clove of garlic, olive oil, Sherry vinegar sea salt and pepper pureed and chilled. Before serving, I topped it with a hardboiled egg and some gently crisped prosciutto.

I thought I was making a large batch, but it turned out to be slightly less than 2 bowls, so I did a roasted salmon served over arugula with kalamata olives, tomato, and red onion, with herbs and olive sourdough.

Thanks to Mitchell for the mention, and to Travel for the posted recipe; it was dee-lish, and it looks good too ….

Lisa Murkowski says she feels "cheated" after The Felon removed the tax credits she demanded in the GOP Big Beautiful bill. 

Boo-effing-hoo, Lisa, you trued a con man? You can never trust conman but you can always trust Lisa Murkowski to be a selfish sucker who got played.

I went to the doctor for a basic check-up recently and after the examination, he said to me:

"Don't eat anything fatty."

I said: "Like what, bacon and burgers?"

He said: "No fatty, don't eat anything."

Good night!!!

While performing onstage for her “Up All Night” tour in Europe, JLo seemed to respond to a fan sign that read: “J Lo, marry me?”

And JLo, or as Carlos calls her, Jell-o, perhaps forgot that her last film, Marry Me, was about a singer who was asked by a fan to marry him by holding a sign up at a concert, replied:

“I think I’m done with that. I’ve tried that a few times.”

The thirst is real.

It appears that $85 million a year for PBS is too much for the American people to bear so it’s been cut. And a billion in cuts for child nutrition, and feeding children, is, I’m guessing wasteful. But $100 million a year for a gelatinous tub of cheese to play golf is just fine and dandy and so is $200 million for Leon Skum’s Nazi chatbot.

Have I got that right America? Is that where you want your money spent?

Sacha Bilal is a 23-year-old model from Paris whose career is on the rise, but Would You Hit It?

Meme Dump

Ain't That America VI

Well, what a week it's been in America … we saw the opening of Gator Gitmo, AKA The Felon Concentration Camp … the passage of tax cuts for billionaires and no more healthcare for the lower class … word salads from Demented DonOLD … lying Republicans … traitorous Lisa Murkowski … and some good news from a couple of governors, one even a Republican …

A reporter recently asked The Felon about Gator Gitmo: "Is there an expected timeframe detainees will spend here? Days, weeks, months? And does that have anything to do with the immigration judges you just spoke about, being trained and staffed here?"

Demented DonOLD: "What was the first part of your question?"

Reporter: "Is there a specific timeframe you expect the detainees to stay here? Days, weeks, months?"

Demented DonOLD:: "In Florida?"

Reporter: "Yes."

Demented DonOLD:: "I'm gonna spend a lot. Look, this is my home state. I love it. I love your government. I love all the people around—these are all friends of mine. and they know I'm—very well. I'm not surprised that they do so well. they're great—people. Uh, Ron has been a friend of mine for a long time. I feel very comfortable in this state. I'll spend a lot of time here."

Yes, you read that right. He forgets the question as soon as it’s asked and then goes off about living in Florida … 25th Amendment, please, the president Is Deranged.

Wisconsin GOP Representative Derrick Van Orden pushed back on the notion that the GOP always caves to The Felon’s demands:

“The president of the United States didn’t give us an assignment. We’re not a bunch of little bitches around here, okay?”

And then every single Little GOP Bitch, save one, did as ordered.

In 2023, while Kristi Noem AKA Border Barbie was governor of South Dakota, she supplemented her income by accepting a cut of the money she raised for a nonprofit that promotes her political career.

The payment totaled $80,000 in 2023, a boost to her roughly $130,000 government salary. Since the nonprofit is a so-called dark money group—one that’s not required to disclose the names of its donors—the original source of the money remains unknown but the fact is Noem never disclosed the $80,000 payment to the public.

After she was selected to be the Pinup Girl for Concentration Camps, Noem released an accounting of her assets and sources of income from 2023 on but did not include the $80,000, which is a violation of federal ethics requirements.

Border Nazi, Dogkiller, Adulterer, Grifter Liar, Cheat … she’s The Felon in a dress

This week the Environmental Protection Agency [EPA] placed 144 employees on administrative leave and opened an investigation into their decision to sign a letter accusing the current fascist regime of politicizing the agency.

Welcome to totalitarianism.

During a supposedly bipartisan celebration of the 250th anniversary of America’s independence The Felon, started off with this:

“They wouldn’t vote [for the Big Beautiful Bill] only because they hate [me], but I hate them, too, you know? I really do. I hate them. I cannot stand them because I really believe they hate our country.”

The Felon’s team said the event was organized as a non-political celebration designed to bring Americans together and yet The Felon declared that he hates half of the country.

During a recent White House Faith Office conference call, The Felon  suggested that disruptions to the call’s audio might have been part of a deliberate effort to sabotage the event. Later on White House Press Secretary Karoline Leavitt AKA Bullshit Barbie implied that evil spirits were behind the technological difficulties:

“There is spiritual warfare as we all know. It tried to break up our call today as the president even alluded to.”

Maybe Demented DonOLD forgot to pay the phone bill.

Alaska GOP Senator Lisa Murkowski labeled the process that brought her to vote for the GOP’s Fuck America But Give Cash To Billionaires tax and spending package “agonizing.” Murkowski says she “struggled mightily” with the cuts to Medicaid and the Supplemental Nutrition Assistance Program [SNAP] could have on vulnerable populations.

But then she cut a last-minute deal to offset or exempt some of the costs of the bill for Alaska.

Typical Republican, she got hers and then said, “Fuck the rest of you.”

Apparently there is a new app for your phone:  ICEBlock, a community-driven app that allows you to share and discover location-based reports on ICE without revealing any personal data.

And Border Hitler Tom Homan, along with Border Barbie, Kristi Noem, want CNN punished because they reported the story.

They want to quash the news so …

There’s an app for your phone called ICEBlock, a community-driven app that allows you to share ICE locations without revealing any personal data.

Pass it on.

North Carolina Democratic Governor Josh Stein has vetoed three anti-DEI bills and another measure that in part would target transgender rights.

Stein criticized the GOP-controlled legislature for focusing on these measures while they’ve yet to enact a budget for the fiscal year that started this week.

Republicans are one House seat short of a veto-proof majority. No Democrats voted for the final three anti-DEI measures.

Ohio GOP Governor Mike DeWine decided that state lawmakers went too far in the culture war against LGBTQ+ Ohioans and issued three key vetoes blocking money for youth shelters that use the preferred pronouns of transgender kids; he vetoed a provision to require materials covering sexual orientation or gender identity to be kept in the adult section of libraries, out of sight for children; he vetoed a provision that would limit which flags can fly on state properties to the American flag, Ohio flag, the POW/MIA flag and flags of official state agencies—Pride flags would’ve been prohibited.

All good, though he did sign a ban on Medicaid funding for mental health services for transgender people and a declaration that there are only two genders.

You’re almost there, Mike; so close to being a decent human being but then you stopped short.

Democrat Senator from Virginia, Mark Warner, claims that many GOP Senators are coming to him privately and saying:

“Mark, keep speaking up, You’re our conscience.”

The GOP conscience? That’s a laugh; and Mark Warner should be revealing the names of the GOP asshats.

And there you have it ... another week under the regime. But y'all know what to do ...

The Funny Papers

Jesse Duquette, Ed Wexler, Adam Zyglis, Lalo Alcaraz, Gary Huck, Michael de Adder, Clay Bennett, Mike Luckovich, RJ Matson, Nick Anderson, Slyngstad,  Joe Thibodeau, Daniel Boris,