Bobservations

This Carlos story needs a flashback because we dig deep …

When we first moved to Camden and purchased Casa Bob y Carlos, we asked Carlos’ Aunt Gloria to visit, and she did … in December when it’s frigid in Camden. And Gloria had only ever lived in Mexico City and Miami and San Juan, so the cold was not her thing. But we tried to make her comfortable and raised the heat while she was here; it got so hot in the house I was in T-shirt and shorts the whole time, but Gloria never felt warm. One day she opened the door to her room and shouted down the hallway:

“Please, boys, turn up the heat. I will happily pay the bill.”

Turn it up we did but she was never warm—which is why she never visited in winter again—but the joke was on us because when she left and I was cleaning the guest room I noticed the vents in her room, and in her bathroom, were all closed! Oy.

So, cut to this morning, and I turn on the AC at about 7:30. We keep the AC at 80-degrees because there are ceiling fans in every room and the house stays cool, but as I walked into the kitchen Carlos says:

“I’ll gladly pay the AC bill for some cool air.”

And I responded thusly:

“You picked the wrong morning to fuck with me.”

“What—"

“I got the most horrendous cramp in my foot at 3AM and couldn’t sleep the rest of the night. I got up to take an aspirin hoping that would ease the pain and hobbled into the kitchen to find … we had no aspirin or Tylenol or anything thing. So I lay in bed wincing and tossing and turning.”

“I thought I told you we needed Ty—”

“Nope, save that story, sister, because if you’d said we needed Tylenol we would have Tylenol.”

“Well, I also had a bad night’s sleep because when I came to bed at 11:30 your phone kept making that sound it makes when you plug the charger into it and I had to get up in the dark and search the room for your phone to unplug it and plug it back in and then try to get some sleep.”

“Did you get some sleep?”

“I did.”

“Well I didn’t get any sleep and so now you will be paying for that for the rest of your natural life.”

Well, at least until the end of the day.

This Tale of Tuxedo is from September 2010 and is entitled “Someone Has it Easy On Caturday...”

"While Carlos and I cleaned house and reorganized a closet … yes, we are that much fun....someone else took a snooze.

Lucky."

Oy, the punim on that cat!

Well, Suri Cruise has officially severed ties with her estranged dad, Tom Cruise, by officially changing her last name from Cruise to Noelle.

$$$cientology; destroying families everywhere.

Last week the Department of Defense released the names of the 18 servicemembers killed since the start of Cankles War for Profit and DUI Pete’s War for Ego. 

But then without a word the names of Lt. Tyler James Feehan, 25, Pvt. Isabella González, 19, Sgt. Michael Emmanuel Swinton, 30,  and Sgt. Ángel Rampersad, 28, were removed from the list of dead Americans because according to the Regime, since they died during a ceasefire their deaths are not war casualties.

Say their goddamned names. They died for this country!

Sophie Cunningham, basketball player, is the latest athlete to step up against trans women in sports saying she wants to protect children but, um, Sophie, you ignorant fool?

The NCAA president has said there are fewer than 10 openly transgender athletes out of 510,000 athletes yet this dominates headline.

Sophie and the rest of her ick, I mean, ilk might best want to stand up for the women and girls raped by the president and his friendly pedophile buddy.

The thoughts that cross my mind as sleep … we all know cats have excellent night vision; they can leap to the tops of closet shelves, climb atop a bookcase, roam the house all night long so …

Why do they step on my face in the middle of the night?

Cuz it’s a choice, right Rosita?

PS The look on Rosie's face clearly says, "Keep coming for me, buddy, and you'll find out what I step in right before walking across your face!"

In another shameless display of GOP and MAGAt hypocrisy and goose-stepping for their cult leader, think back in recent history when the Cult went mad that NYC had elected a Muslim mayor just 25 years after 9/11 and now they are literally handing nuclear weapons to Saudi Arabia, the country that raised the 9/11 attackers because Cankles got paid by the Saudis.

In all honesty I don’t think they’re declaring Mitch McConnel dead because he doesn’t have an unqualified sister to replace him.

Hubert Kacprowicz is a lot of things ... actor ... Biomedical engineer ... and Renaissance man; he's also blond, blue-eyed and tall, so Would You Hit It?

Bobservations

Last night I was getting ready to go to bed and walked into the living room to kiss Carlos goodnight. Then I went to the front door, opened it and stepped out onto the porch:

“Are you turning off the Christmas lights?”

“No. I’m leaving you.”

“Okay. Goodbye.”

Luckily, I only left him for about twenty seconds and then I came back home.

Isn’t it funny just how quickly Miss Lindsey and Rafael Cruz forgot all about Herschel Walker. Why it’s almost as if they were just pandering that poor delusional man for votes.

Need more posts about religious perverts? Howsabout Hillsong church founder Pastor Brian Houston allegedly telling a man who had been repeatedly raped Houston’s father when he was a child that it was “all your fault, you tempted my father.”

It’s the seven-year-old child’s fault a grown man raped him. Fuck off pastor.

Scientology promises that if you reach the upper levels you won't get cancer but Kirstie Alley was OT8 and died from cancer this week.

Scientology is a cult and you can add Kirstie Alley’s name to the list of people they’ve killed.

After praising Adolf Hitler last week, Kanye West and new buddy, Nazi Nick Fuentes, sat down with Proud Boys founder Gavin McInnes to demand that Jewish people “forgive Hitler”:

“Jews should work for Christians,. I’ll hire a Jewish person in a second if I knew they weren’t a spy and I could look through their phone and follow through their house and have a camera all in their living room.”

Someone needs to lay hands on Kanye … and put him in a hospital where he can get back on his meds.

Metzger Bar and Butchery, a restaurant in the Union Hill neighborhood of Richmond canceled a reservation for a private event being held by a conservative Christian organization, citing the group’s opposition to same-sex marriage and abortion rights:

“We have always refused service to anyone for making our staff uncomfortable or unsafe and this was the driving force behind our decision.”

Hate should always have its reservations canceled.

The Red Oak Community School in Ohio canceled its “Holi-Drag Storytime” event last week at the last minute due to a security threat from the Ohio Chapter of the Proud Boys.

Proud Boys? Seriously? With ball caps pulled down low on their heads and masks covering their faces? Chickenshit little unemployed basement living gamers whose mothers want them gone is more like it.

On the other side of the coin, a group of protestors gathered at the Staten Island Children’s Museum to oppose a “Drag Story Hour” but their jeers had little effect.

In fact, the event’s organizer, Yun-Hee Proffit, said the protest, led by local artist Scott LoBaido, up there with his idol, achieved the opposite of its intended effect by reinforcing their drive to host more events that promote acceptance and inclusivity.

Meanwhile … Myrtle Beach Police are working to determine who emailed a bomb threat to the Mr. Fish Seafood Restaurant that led to the evacuation of a drag show brunch. The email read:

“We have placed several bombs in the Mr Fish Restaurant … We are not terrorists hurt children which is why you have this warning to evacuate. You b—— are all child abusers and will all burn in hell. This event is grooming children. For all of human history its been known that the innonence of children should be preserved, you are scarring the future generations with your perverted fantasizes. You deserve to die and we will kill all you f—— for preying on children.”

I suggest a course in spelling first because this note, perhaps written in crayon, was penned by a moron.

Actor-writer-producer—Christian loon Kirk Cameron wrote a children’s book that celebrates family, faith and biblical wisdom and wanted to hold Christian Story Hours, but over 50 public libraries have either outright rejected him or not responded to requests on his behalf. And better still, many of those libraries are actively offering “drag queen” story hours or similar programs for kids and young people.

The Rochambeau Public Library in Providence, Rhode Island, for instance, told Cameron and his book publisher:

“No, we will pass on having you run a program in our space. We are a very queer-friendly library. Our messaging does not align.”

Buh bye.

Shannon Epstein, former New Jersey Governor Chris Christie’s niece, was likely drunk and high when she was kicked off a Spirit Airlines flight after causing a ruckus on a flight from New Orleans to New Jersey  by acting aggressively and asking a Latino family sitting nearby if they were “smuggling cocaine.” She later screamed at police:

“Do you know who I am? I’m Chris Christie’s daughter and you’re so f—ed. You will lose your job over this s—. I know [Thing 45]. By this time tomorrow you will both be in jail. What the f— did I do? I’m a lesbian. Is that it? Do you want to put your dick in me? That’s it, isn’t it. That’s what this is all about? You want to put your dick in my mouth, don’t you? You’re so f—ed, you asshole.”

During her arrest, Epstein kicked, bit, scratched, and spat on police officers, and accused them of thinking she had, ahem, “cocaine in my pussy.” She’s been charged with multiple felony counts and is free after posting $10,750 in bail. Christie has not responded to press inquiries.

Paolo Busti is an Italian model and dancer, and limber AF, but the real question is: Would You Hit It?

Random Musings

First, a little back story that I’ve shared before ... When we lived in Miami Carlos’ boss took his entire staff, and their loved ones, to a Marlins game. When Carlos asked if I wanted to go, I said Yes immediately; I used to go to Giants and Dodgers games at Candlestick Park as a kid with my family and I love being at a baseball game.

Carlos? He’d never seen a game before. 

So, we’re at the game, the Marlins are at back; three outs later the other team—I can’t remember who they were playing—was up and soon enough they were also out.

Carlos stands up and says, “That was a good game,” and starts to leave.

I say, “That was the first inning; there are at least eight more.”

Carlos, “But both sides played.”

Cut to this week, and we’re watching Jeopardy and there is an answer about baseball, and which player gets the win when their team bests the other.

“What is a pitcher?” I ask ... correctly.

Carlos, bless his heart, says, “Is he the one that throws the ball?

Well, someone doesn’t want anyone to know his business ... President-elect _____ has ordered all members of his transition team sign a code of ethics with a pretty significant lobbying ban, but they were also ordered to sign a non-disclosure agreement to make certain they keep all of their work confidential.

Yeah, a _____ White House is gonna be soooo transparent.

Let the impeachment begin ...

Leah Remini, actress and ex-Scientologist, has a new show on A&E about the “religion,” and she’s telling all kinds of secrets and interviewing all kinds of folks who left the cult.

On Leah Remini: Scientology and the Aftermath, she talks about how those who break the rules in the cult, no matter how high up—well, except for the untouchable Little Tommy Cruise—the punishments are severe. One woman, who was in the cult for nearly thirty years, began asking questions and she was sent to a camp where guards stood outside her room in the barracks and guards stood outside the barracks and guards stood near the barbed wire fence surrounding the “camp.” In the camp, these cult-members who disappointed the leadership, AKA David Miscavige, Tommy's BFF, were forced to do manual labor for up to twelve or fourteen hours a day.

Imagine the outrage if, say, the Catholic Church, treated those who chose to leave their faith that way. But the Co$ is all about money and secrecy and lies, so no one knows what goes on in there.

Check out the show on A&E; it’s fascinating.

Okay Gays, and some of you Straights, put down the razors ... but don’t put ‘em down there.

Apparently, people who opt to change their, um, “carpets” for “hardwoods” or “linoleum” at least once in their lifetimes are nearly twice as likely to have had at least one STD. 

“Extreme groomers”—those who shave all their pubic hair off at least 11 times a year—are more than four times as likely to have had an infection. 

So, while you may like a smooth playing surface, apparently it comes with a risk.

So, earlier this week President-elect _____ bashed Boeing on Twitter, declaring the company’s costs “out of control,” and saying the government should cancel an order with the company for two new Air Force One jets. _____ said the costs were over $4 billion which, were that true, would have been out of control, but the costs were roughly $170 million, far less than the _____Lie mentioned.

But also odd, is that the Tweetsplosion by _____ came within an hour after the Chicago Tribune published  a column where Boeing CEO Dennis Muilenburg criticized _____’s trade rhetoric against China.

President-elect _____ also went after United Steelworkers 1999 President Chuck Jones who claims the Twitter-in-Chief-To-Be "lied his ass off" about the terms of the deal to keep Carrier manufacturing jobs in the United States.

Yup, this will be a _____ presidency where he spends all his time Tweeting about the people who are mean to him.

And with so many people worldwide not liking this orange glob of Play-Doh—emphasis on the Doh—he’ll be spending all his time Tweeting. And that might actually be a good thing because he’ll never get any real work done.

Bishop Daniel Obinim, a homophobic preacher in Ghana, says he can, um, increase the size of a man’s penis using a ‘massage ritual’.Yes, the homophobe places his hands on a man’s crotch and rubs it vigorously to make the penis grow—though oddly, once his rubbing ritual stops, the penis goes back to its original size.

He thinks it’s magic ... and he also thinks he’s not the biggest queer of ‘em all.

Here he is, at, um, work:

Chris Evans is hot ... and political ... and has a good sense of humor because he obviously doesn’t live in Dumbfuckistan.

So sorry Pat.

North Carolina Governor Pat McCrory has conceded to Attorney General Roy Cooper in the state’s gubernatorial race.

Finally, we can consider him #Flushed

I found it especially ironic that President-elect _____ had another SNL Tweetsplosion after the show aired a skit about how much he Tweets.

The man doesn’t get it.

Remember last year when greedy motherf**king asshat Martin Shkreli bought Turing Pharmaceuticals and almost immediately increased the price of Daraprim—used to treat certain types of malaria as well as toxoplasmosis, a rare and life-threatening infection—from $13.50 a tablet to $750.00 a tablet?

Well, a group students in Australia, ages 16 and 17, tried to recreate the drug molecule in their school laboratory and they succeeded, making the drug for just $2.00 a pill.

On Twitter Shkreli dismissed the student’s achievement:

“How is that showing anyone up? Almost any drug can be made at small scale for a low price."

One student, Leonard Milan, took Shkreli down by saying:

“If you follow his overpriced method using toxic chemicals in an industrial lab it’s easy, but the fact that we were able to substitute some really toxic gasses with simple school-available chemicals and do it so cheaply demonstrates the absurdity of some of his justifications for the price. “I think Martin is an attention-seeking businessman, the way he responds to every Twitter post made threatening him, bragging about how he can do whatever he wants reflects this.”

Douche.

Yes, this is a Tweet from me, but it makes me giggle every time I see so I chose it for this weeks’ win.

Sue me, I’m funny.

Random Musings

Okay, this might be good.

Vanity Fair, this month, has an article about the Church of Scientology and their struggle to find a suitable wife for Tom Cruise, post-Nicki and pre-Kate. And, okay I’ll say it, ALLEGEDLY a woman was chosen and groomed and audited--a CoS method of getting inside your head--and groomed to be Missus Cruise. But apparently she made the head of the CoS, David Miscavige angry because she kept asking him to repeat himself when he spoke to her and Scientologists are all about making themselves clear, so this was considered unforgivable.

The woman, Iranian-born, British-raised actress Nazanin Boniadi, was then banished from TomVille, and even removed from his home where they shared a bedroom, and then it was, again, sigh, ALLEGEDLY, decided that Tom needed a more famous wife and, well, since all the famous wouldn't stoop to marry Tom--literally because they're all taller than MiniTom, Katie Holmes was chosen and the rest is history, or her story.

Interesting reading, so I'll be picking up a copy of VF.

Paul Ryan is a liar. And he does so by quietly misrepresenting the facts and leaving out parts of the story to make his truth seem true.

Like when he said candidate Obama pledged to keep a Wisconsin auto plant open...and then Ryan skips over the fact that before Obama took office the plant closed under W...and yet the plant closed a year later.

See, he tries to make it look like Obama made a promise and then didn’t keep it.

Semantics, perhaps, bending the truth for sure, but, really, it's a lie.

And then, well, he did it again.

Ryan had said in a radio interview that he had run in a marathon, and that his personal best time was "under three [hours], high twos. I had a two hour and fifty-something."

Big surprise, 

Click to emBIGGERATE

It turns out Paul Ryan, who has run just one marathon so it's not like he got it confused, actually ran the 1990 Grandma’s Marathon in Duluth, Minnesota in 4 hours, 1 minute, and 25 seconds.

Not "under three" and certainly not "high twos."

Now, sure it might be silly to call him out on this, but, when one runs a marathon, one usually knows their time fairly well; especially if one runs just one marathon.

So, why the lie?

Does it make him sound more like a good candidate for vice president or does it make him sound like a man who wouldn't know the truth if it smacked him in the face?

Of course, he's spinning it now, saying that his "comments on the [radio] show were the best of his recollection."

Which is what folks say when they get caught in a lie.

Again. source

Has anyone seen the commercial where the mom is getting her son and daughter ready for bed and then the dad comes in wearing a whole bunch of flashlights and then starts shining them at his kid's crotches because they're wearing Huggies glow-in-the-dark Pamper-y things?

I think it's kinda odd that someone would want to put underwear on their kids that has some glow-in-the-dark technology near their genitals, and, the commercial seems creepy when the dad waves a big hard flashlight at his kid's crotches.

But that's just me....

Oh yeah, so Paul Ryan lies.

But then so does Ann Romney.

See, after that whole wack-a-doo Clint Eastwood lecturing a chair episode at the RNC last week, Ann Romney had several comments.

She told "CBS This Morning" she didn't know what to expect when Eastwood came on stage and called Eastwood's rambling conversation "unique."

Which is a nice way of saying "WTF was that?"

But then on ABC's "Good Morning America," she said of his speech, "I frankly hadn’t given it much thought. I didn’t know he was coming on stage."

Huh? Didn't know he was coming on?

Really? Your husband is the star of the show--or at least he was supposed to be the star until Clint's nuttiness--and you expect us to believe you had no idea he was coming on the stage?

Liar liar, like your husband.

I loved some of the Democratic speeches this week. Cory Booker was on fire and Julian Castro was right on point. Of course, for me, the highlight was my BFF Michelle Obama speaking. She talked about her husband's passion for life while, in contrast, a week earlier Ann Romney tried to passionately convince us that her husband is even alive.

But, another highlight for me was Elizabeth Warren, who is running for the US Senate in Massachusetts and does not mince words:

"The Republican vision is clear: 'I've got mine, the rest of you are on your own'. Republicans say they don't believe in government. Sure they do. They believe in government to help themselves and their powerful friends. After all, Mitt Romney's the guy who said corporations are people."No, Governor Romney, corporations are not people. People have hearts, they have kids, they get jobs, they get sick, they cry, they dance. They live, they love, and they die. And that matters. That matters because we don't run this country for corporations. We run it for people."

Hmmm, maybe a Clinton/Warren ticket in 2016?

So, we have Warren, and Castro and Booker and Obama and the Clintons, but, well, not all Democrats are so wonderful. Case in point: Democrat, and Congresswoman Yvette Clarke, who represents Brooklyn, New York.

Clark appeared on Stephen Colbert’s 'The Colbert Report' this week and stumbled, okay, mangled a little bit of US history.

Colbert asked her: "If you could get in a time machine and go back to 1898, what would you say to those Brooklynites?" Colbert asked in the segment.

And Clarke responded: "I would say to them, 'Set me free.'"

Colbert, kinda stunned, asked what exactly Clarke would be setting the people of Brooklyn free from, and she replied, "Slavery."

Colbert: "Slavery. Really? I didn’t realize there was slavery in Brooklyn in 1898."

Clarke: "I’m pretty sure there was."

Colbert: "It sounds like a horrible part of the United States that kept slavery going until 1898. Who would be enslaving you in 1898 in New York?"

Clarke said it was, ahem, the Dutch.

Yeah...she did.

But, um, most folks, and one would hope most state representatives, know that slavery was abolished after the Civil War in 1865. And most folks, and, again, one would hope most state representatives, know that while the Dutch did settle in New Amsterdam, which became New York in 1667, America was an independent nation by the turn of the 19th century.

Oops.

And, because I'm shallow like that, well, here's a few hot Dems from the convention:

Maryland Governor Martin O'Malley

Massachusetts Governor Deval Patrick

Former President Bill Clinton

Newark, New Jersey Mayor Cory Booker

San Antonio, Texas mayor  Julián Castro