The Funny Papers

The Peace Art Collective, Dennis Goris, Clay Bennett, JD Crowe, Pedro X Molina, Michael de Adder, Nick Anderson, Benjamin Slyngstad, Gary Huck, Jon Ostrove, Lalo Alcaraz

Meme Dump

The UNFunny Papers

Gary Taxall, Robert Unell, Jonathan Brown, Rick McKee, Michael de Adder, Max Espinoza, Bill Bramhall, Nick Anderson, Clay Bennett, Jon Ostrove, Ann Telnaes, Lalo Alcaraz

Bobservations

Last night I was getting ready to go to bed and walked into the living room to kiss Carlos goodnight. Then I went to the front door, opened it and stepped out onto the porch:

“Are you turning off the Christmas lights?”

“No. I’m leaving you.”

“Okay. Goodbye.”

Luckily, I only left him for about twenty seconds and then I came back home.

Isn’t it funny just how quickly Miss Lindsey and Rafael Cruz forgot all about Herschel Walker. Why it’s almost as if they were just pandering that poor delusional man for votes.

Need more posts about religious perverts? Howsabout Hillsong church founder Pastor Brian Houston allegedly telling a man who had been repeatedly raped Houston’s father when he was a child that it was “all your fault, you tempted my father.”

It’s the seven-year-old child’s fault a grown man raped him. Fuck off pastor.

Scientology promises that if you reach the upper levels you won't get cancer but Kirstie Alley was OT8 and died from cancer this week.

Scientology is a cult and you can add Kirstie Alley’s name to the list of people they’ve killed.

After praising Adolf Hitler last week, Kanye West and new buddy, Nazi Nick Fuentes, sat down with Proud Boys founder Gavin McInnes to demand that Jewish people “forgive Hitler”:

“Jews should work for Christians,. I’ll hire a Jewish person in a second if I knew they weren’t a spy and I could look through their phone and follow through their house and have a camera all in their living room.”

Someone needs to lay hands on Kanye … and put him in a hospital where he can get back on his meds.

Metzger Bar and Butchery, a restaurant in the Union Hill neighborhood of Richmond canceled a reservation for a private event being held by a conservative Christian organization, citing the group’s opposition to same-sex marriage and abortion rights:

“We have always refused service to anyone for making our staff uncomfortable or unsafe and this was the driving force behind our decision.”

Hate should always have its reservations canceled.

The Red Oak Community School in Ohio canceled its “Holi-Drag Storytime” event last week at the last minute due to a security threat from the Ohio Chapter of the Proud Boys.

Proud Boys? Seriously? With ball caps pulled down low on their heads and masks covering their faces? Chickenshit little unemployed basement living gamers whose mothers want them gone is more like it.

On the other side of the coin, a group of protestors gathered at the Staten Island Children’s Museum to oppose a “Drag Story Hour” but their jeers had little effect.

In fact, the event’s organizer, Yun-Hee Proffit, said the protest, led by local artist Scott LoBaido, up there with his idol, achieved the opposite of its intended effect by reinforcing their drive to host more events that promote acceptance and inclusivity.

Meanwhile … Myrtle Beach Police are working to determine who emailed a bomb threat to the Mr. Fish Seafood Restaurant that led to the evacuation of a drag show brunch. The email read:

“We have placed several bombs in the Mr Fish Restaurant … We are not terrorists hurt children which is why you have this warning to evacuate. You b—— are all child abusers and will all burn in hell. This event is grooming children. For all of human history its been known that the innonence of children should be preserved, you are scarring the future generations with your perverted fantasizes. You deserve to die and we will kill all you f—— for preying on children.”

I suggest a course in spelling first because this note, perhaps written in crayon, was penned by a moron.

Actor-writer-producer—Christian loon Kirk Cameron wrote a children’s book that celebrates family, faith and biblical wisdom and wanted to hold Christian Story Hours, but over 50 public libraries have either outright rejected him or not responded to requests on his behalf. And better still, many of those libraries are actively offering “drag queen” story hours or similar programs for kids and young people.

The Rochambeau Public Library in Providence, Rhode Island, for instance, told Cameron and his book publisher:

“No, we will pass on having you run a program in our space. We are a very queer-friendly library. Our messaging does not align.”

Buh bye.

Shannon Epstein, former New Jersey Governor Chris Christie’s niece, was likely drunk and high when she was kicked off a Spirit Airlines flight after causing a ruckus on a flight from New Orleans to New Jersey  by acting aggressively and asking a Latino family sitting nearby if they were “smuggling cocaine.” She later screamed at police:

“Do you know who I am? I’m Chris Christie’s daughter and you’re so f—ed. You will lose your job over this s—. I know [Thing 45]. By this time tomorrow you will both be in jail. What the f— did I do? I’m a lesbian. Is that it? Do you want to put your dick in me? That’s it, isn’t it. That’s what this is all about? You want to put your dick in my mouth, don’t you? You’re so f—ed, you asshole.”

During her arrest, Epstein kicked, bit, scratched, and spat on police officers, and accused them of thinking she had, ahem, “cocaine in my pussy.” She’s been charged with multiple felony counts and is free after posting $10,750 in bail. Christie has not responded to press inquiries.

Paolo Busti is an Italian model and dancer, and limber AF, but the real question is: Would You Hit It?

Tuesday Thought #3

The Party of Law & Order? The Party of Blue Lives Matter? Not So Much ....

In February, the Senate voted to give Officer Eugene Goodman of the Capitol Police the Congressional Gold Medal for his actions in diverting a crowd of riotous, white supremacist, Nazi insurrectionists away from the Senate chamber. The House bill also honored Officer Brian Sicknick, who was bludgeoned to death by these murderers, as well as two officers who died by suicide after the insurrection.

And last week the House passed a bill to honor police officers who defended the Capitol during the January 6 insurrection. The bipartisan legislation would authorize the creation of three Congressional Gold Medals—one for the Capitol Police, one for the Metropolitan Police Department of Washington, DC, and one meant for display by the Smithsonian to acknowledge other agencies that helped defend the Capitol from the racist, white supremacist, Nazi, idiot supporters of Thing 45.

The vote passed 413-12.

Twelve. Twelve? Twelve people thought it best not to honor those men and women who stepped up to protect our nation’s capital? Twelve. All Republicans; all members of the party that calls themselves pro-law enforcement. These sorry excuses for human beings—and you’ll agree when you see who they are—took issue with the legislation's language, most notably the part where it referred to the Capitol attackers as "insurrectionists."

The Twelve:

Matt Gaetz [Q-FL]

Louie Gohmert [Q-TX]

Marjorie Taylor Greene [Q-GA]

Andy Biggs [Q-AZ]

Thomas Massie [Q-KY]

Andy Harris [Q-MD]

Lance Gooden [Q-TX]

Michael Cloud [Q-TX]

Andrew Clyde [Q-GA]

Bob Good [Q-VA]

Greg Steube [Q-FL]

John Rose [Q-TN]

They don’t like the idea that people, carrying Confederate flags, wearing shirts that Read ‘Six Million Jews Is Not Enough,’ armed with pepper spray, zip ties, and weapons, broke into a federal building, raided Congressional and Senate offices, defecated on walls, stole personal documents and computers, attacked police officers, and murder a police officer, would be called “insurrectionists.”

The party of Law and Order!

The Blue Lives Matter party!

But to the Twelve Traitors those people are patriots.

These Twelve Traitors need to be voted out of office.