Ron DeSantis, Florida’s fascist governor, still stinging form
the Mickey Mouse bitchslap, panders to Thing 45 and his ilk: “The weaponization of the legal system to advance a political agenda turns the rule of law on its head. It is un-American. The Soros-backed Manhattan District Attorney has consistently bent the law to downgrade felonies and to excuse criminal misconduct. Yet now he is stretching the law to target a political opponent. Florida will not assist in an extradition request given the questionable circumstances at issue with this Soros-backed Manhattan prosecutor and his political agenda.” You’re so transparent Ron. You’re either doing this because
you think the MAGAts will swing to your team in Thing 45 goes away, or you’re
doing this because you think it might make a criminal more popular And you’ll
lose in 2024. Either way, you look like a bitch. |
Steve Scalise, House Majority Leader, who himself nearly died
in a mass shooting, knows how to stop the bloodshed: “The first thing in any kind of tragedy I do is I pray. I pray for the victims. I pray for their families. I really get angry when I see people trying to politicize it for their own personal agenda, especially when we don’t even know the facts. We’ve talked about things that we can do, and it just seems like on the other side, all they want to do is take guns away from law abiding citizens before they even know the facts. The first thing they talk about is taking guns away from law abiding citizens. And that’s not the answer, by the way. So why don’t we number one, keep those families in our prayers.” It’s been over ten years since Sandy Hook and with the GOP
offering nothing but prayers it is clear that Steve Scalise is a dumb fuck. It’s been six years since Steve Scalise was shot, and clearly
his own prayers didn’t even save him. What’s that saying … doing the same thing over and over again
and expecting a different result is the definition of insanity? That’s Scalise
and the GOP; fucking insane. Praying doesn’t work. |
Brian Kilmeade, Fox & Friends host,
on that
Thing 45 rally in wacko Texas: “The United States’ former president opened up with January 6 video, which is insane! He should be running from that, period. I don’t care [about] his point of view, that is not a good thing for him. I thought that was absolutely awful. Even though he is winning in the polls, that will not help.” He doesn’t care; his ego is so huge, and so overrun with
Adderall and syphilis that he thinks he can do and say whatever he wants and
his Red Hatted MAGAT minions will do his dirty work for him. |
Kanye West, on his new pro-Jew stance and how it
happened: “Watching Jonah Hill in 21 jump street [sic] made me like Jewish people again. No one should take anger against one or two individuals and transform that into hatred towards millions of innocent people.” Seriously, someone get him back on his meds. Also of note, Kanye dd not disavow his love for Hitler. |
Gregg Jarrett, Fox News legal analyst and apparent moron,
has a new theory about January 6: “One wonders, did Nancy Pelosi want it to get out of hand? Is that the reason why her daughter was suddenly there filming her mother in this heroic role? Because all of this, you know, was somehow planned and conjured up? You know, I think it’s worth asking the question but the committee wouldn’t allow it.” Yes, Nancy Pelosi riled up the MAGAt Minions to march to the
Capitol and “take back” their country because her daughter was there filming a
documentary. Um, Gregg, you ignorant fool, Pelosi’s daughter was there
because it was an historic day in American politics, as it is every four years,
when a presidential election result is certified. Only one politician prodded a mob or miscreants, losers,
basement dwellers, and tiny dicked Proud Boys to go to the Capitol that day. PS Gregg Jarrett says his home Wi-Fi mysteriously goes down
whenever he’s writing a hit piece about Biden. It might be that tin-foil hat, fool. |
Tim Burchett, Tennessee GOP Congressman, has said the
quiet part out loud about mass shootings in America: “We’re not going to fix it. It’s a horrible, horrible situation, and we’re not going to fix it. Criminals are gonna be criminals. [My] daddy fought in the second world war, fought in the Pacific, fought the Japanese, and he told me, he said, ‘Buddy,’ he said, ‘if somebody wants to take you out, and doesn’t mind losing their life, there’s not a whole heck of a lot you can do about it.’” Just let ‘em die and keep on moving, eh you ignorant gun
loving fuck? And when this fool was asked a follow up question about how to
protect his own daughter in school, Burchett replied: “Well, we homeschool her, but you know, that’s our decision. Some people don’t have that option and frankly, some people don’t need to do it. I mean, they don’t have to. It just suited our needs much better.” So he sees the problem of mass shootings in schools but I
guess if his kid is safe then there’s nothing for him to do. |
Rachel Maddow, on Thing 45 promoting a
Twitter poll conducted by Elon Musk’s favorite right-wing troll: “Very, very exciting for them, right? If you look closely, you can see that the source for this poll is… Oh, @catturd2! Congratulations, sir! Who among us has not longed for the day in which we can claim victory in the acclaimed @catturd2 presidential poll? You know, @catturd2 does really seem to appeal to [Thing 45] in a visceral way, and I will note that Mike Pence is almost certainly not coming back as [Thing 45] running mate. I know it doesn’t totally roll off the tongue, but the t-shirts would be incredible, right? Vote [Thing 45]-Catturd2, for a Fresh Step! Scoop away your worries! Now with less clumping!” It would be nice if Thing 45 had less
clumping. But the best part is that he’s retweeting Catturd2 and their
endorsement. |