I Didn't Say It ....

Whoopi Goldberg, on her longstanding relationship with the LGBT community and the rumors that she is a lesbian:

“…it's like, there are a lot worse things people could have accused me of—things that would really be upsetting! [Questions about my sexuality are] not one of them. It never has been. I grew up in the theater. I grew up in a neighborhood where there was always gay folks. Always! So I never understood people's freak out about it. Everybody is so damn paranoid about everything. They're so concerned that (people) are gonna be like, "Oh, somebody's gonna think I'm gay." So what! What happens if they do? It was ridiculous.”

It was, and it still is. Thankfully a lot of celebrities are now saying the same thing, that being rumored to be gay is not a bad thing, it’s just a thing.

Michael McShane, US District Court judge, from last Monday’s ruling that overturned Oregon's ban on same-sex marriage:

"Oregon recognizes a marriage of love with the same equal eye that it recognizes a marriage of convenience. It affords the same set of rights and privileges to Tristan and Isolde that it affords to a Hollywood celebrity waking up in Las Vegas with a blurry memory and a ringed finger. It does not, however, afford these very same rights to gay and lesbian couples who wish to marry within the confines of our geographic borders."

He just Britney’d all over his ruling!

Alan Keyes, who has accused gays of committing crimes against humanity and compared same-sex marriage to picking one’s nose, has finally played the Nazi card:

"You think that homosexual marriage is about homosexuality, ethics and behavior; I tell you homosexual marriage is about the very founding principle of our free way of life and it ends up making government the all-powerful, totalitarian ruler of every human being from the cradle to the grave."

Seriously? We’re terrorists and the cause of bad weather and pedophiles and indoctrinators of children and Nazis?

How do we manage to get anything done when we’re so busy doing all that?

Lady Gaga, on lip-syncing:

“I don’t think it’s cool to lip sync. I’m not judging if people do because it’s everybody’s own style of what they decided to be, the type of artist they will be, but I think if you pay money for a ticket to see a show the artist should fucking have some pipes and sing their records for you.”

I agree, but I find it funny that she knocks the syncers while giving herself a little pat on the back.

Adam Carolla, “comedian”, says he can't tell jokes about gays anymore without being put on a list of bullies:

“My feeling about the gay community — first off, you can’t live in Hollywood and get along in this business and be in theater companies and improv companies and have issues with gay people... If you can’t work with gay people, you’re gonna have a difficult time in Hollywood. There’s plenty of gay people and they’re in positions above you. You’re not going to get your movie directed. I don’t have a problem with it — they’ve just turned into a mafia and demanding everyone apologize for every joke and retract every statement."

Jokes about gay people are funny, but jokes about people because they are gay, or transgender, or bisexual, or whatever, aren’t.

I think Carolla’s just pissy because now he has to work harder at being funny instead of just recycling his seventh grade sense of humor.

Sandra Bullock, during a talk at Warren Easton Charter High School in New Orleans; she’s been a big supporter of the school since Hurricane Katrina, and surprised graduates with a lovely speech:

“When someone who cares about you hugs you? Hug them back with two arms. Don’t do the one-armed hug, because when you hug with two arms, it allows you to lean on somebody, and we always need somebody to lean on. If someone doesn’t want to play with you, it’s okay. Not everyone is going to love us, go find somebody who does want to play with you, and appreciates what you have to offer.”

I love her.

Steve Bullock, no relation to Sandy, governor of Montana, on the four gay couples suing the state over its ban on same-sex marriage:

“Montanans cherish our freedom and recognize the individual dignity of every one of us. The time has come for our state to recognize and celebrate – not discriminate against – two people who love one another, are committed to each other, and want to spend their lives together. I look forward to a future where all Montanans have the opportunity to marry the person they love, just as Lisa and I did almost 15 years ago. We are on the path to greater understanding and equality, and we will all be better for it.”

Do it, Montana, jump on the equality bandwagon!

Angelina Jolie, on the stress of motherhood:

“I’m not a single mom with two jobs trying to get by every day. I have much more support than most people, most women in this world. And I have the financial means to have a home and health care and food. … When I feel I’m doing too much, I do less, if I can. And that’s why I’m in a rare position where I don’t have to do job after job. I can take time when my family needs it. … I actually feel that women in my position, when we have all at our disposal to help us, shouldn’t complain. Consider all the people who really struggle and don’t have the financial means, don’t have the support, and many people are single raising children. That’s hard.” 

I think she’s taking a not-so-subtle swipe at HRH Gwyneth Paltrow, who complained a couple of months ago that she has it harder than Moms who have “regular” jobs.

Way to go, Angie!

I Didn't Say It ....

Jack Markell, Governor of Delaware, as he signed marriage equality into law:

"I do not intend to make any of you wait one minute longer."

I would say they’ve waited long enough.

Good going Delaware, and Governor Markell.

Another one down, forty more to go. Next stop, Illinois and Minnesota.

President Obama, on supporting LGBT-inclusive immigration reform:

"The LGBT community should be treated like everybody else. That's the essential core principle behind our founding documents. The idea that we're all created equal and we're equal before the law...And so Senator Leahy may present this provision in committee, it may be presented on the floor. It will be one of many amendments and provisions, some of which I support. Some of which I think are really bad ideas...I can tell you I think that the provision is the right thing to do. I'll also tell you that I'm not going to get everything I want in this bill. Republicans are not going to get everything they want in this bill."

That first sentence is all that needs to be said.

Chris Kluwe, on gays in locker rooms:

"Has there ever been a single reported case of sexual harassment in a professional sports environment by one player toward another? What makes you think that because all of a sudden a player is allowed to openly be himself that he's immediately going to start mounting every guy in sight? Isn't that the very definition of narcissistic tendencies by straight men who think that way? What makes you think you're that player's type, or that he would ever be attracted to you?"

True dat.

Esera Tuaolo, former NFL player and openly gay man, on Jason Collins' coming out:

"What kept me from playing to my full potential is what people need to realize. When you're in the closet and you're living with this crippling secret, you're living with depression, you're living with suicidal tendencies, you're living with blackouts, you're living with stress. That's what I played with, and it was very difficult to play to the best of my ability, to the fullest of my potential when you're carrying all of that with you. What Jason did was absolutely amazing. And I can relate with him when he said when he came out he felt complete. He felt whole."

Straight folks don’t recognize the shame that is a life in the closet because they have never had to be closeted.

Asante Samuel, Atlanta Falcons cornerback, on openly gay NFL player:

"Straight people are not announcing they're straight, so why does everybody have to announce their sexuality or whatever? You know, what they prefer. So that's just how I see it. That's my opinion on things. All respect you know, I have nothing but respect for the people whoever decisions they make and whatever, but you know, you don't have to show it and flaunt it like that. You know what I'm saying, we have kids out here too. I don't think it's something we have to express and let be known of what my sexuality preference is - just stick to sports....I don't want to teach my kids those things. I teach my kids God. You know, how God lives his life."

Oh, Asante, you announce you’re straight every time you talk about a girl. See, gay folks don’t want to announce that we’re gay. I don’t walk into rooms and say, “Hi, I’m, Bob and I am a flaming homosexual.” I might say, “My partner, Carlos …..” I might say “Carlos and I …”

That isn’t an announcement, it’s a conversation. Asshat.

Bishop Thomas Tobin, of Rhode Island, telling Catholics to stay away from same-sex weddings or risk pissing off God:

"At this moment of cultural change, it is important to affirm the teaching of the Church, based on God’s word, that 'homosexual acts are intrinsically disordered,' (Catechism of the Catholic Church, #2357) and always sinful. And because 'same-sex marriages' are clearly contrary to God’s plan for the human family, and therefore objectively sinful, Catholics should examine their consciences very carefully before deciding whether or not to endorse same-sex relationships or attend same-sex ceremonies, realizing that to do so might harm their relationship with God and cause significant scandal to others."

Oh, Bishop Tobin, the tide is changing and you’re going to be left behind and remembered for your hate speech and your homophobia and your bigotry that you spewed in the name of God.

You don’t speak for her any more than you speak for the majority of Catholics.

Tony Casillas, former Dallas Cowboy, saying he knew some gay NFL players:

“I know that I played with homosexual players and I knew this when I was playing. There’s a certain amount of intimacy in the locker room, I’m not talking in a personal way, but intimacy as far as working hard and being that close together, as far as accomplishing something on the football field. The problem is this society. That’s why I applaud Jason Collins for coming out. Being a professional athlete people expect you have this shield around you where you can’t pretty much show your true nature, if you will, and you’re feelings and I think for him to be able to do that — I think there may be a domino effect with this."

There have been gay men in team sports since there have been team sports.

Build a bridge, folks, and get over it.

Alan Keyes, three times failed presidential candidate and three times failed Senate candidate, on the BSA and The Gays:

"The latest proposal for ending the BSA’s ban on homosexual participation in Scouting is a strategic ploy. What is most disturbing is that it uses the young participants in the Scouting movement as cannon fodder in the battle against the natural family. Some youngsters will be positioned to draw other youngsters into situations where, because they react against sexual advances according to the moral precepts of the faith of their fathers, they will be viciously accused of unrighteous bigotry. Or else their vulnerable adolescent emotions will impel them to betray the tenets of conscience derived from their faith, and slip into a whirlpool of compulsive sensual indulgence, moral guilt and spiritual confusion."

Um, if you’re gay, you’re gay. A gay Scout cannot ‘turn’ a straight Scout gay.

And just because people are gay doesn’t make them predators, you ignorant fool.

Sit down already, you’re done here.

Pat Toomey, Republican Senator from Pennsylvania, admitting that many GOP Senators voted against universal background checks simply because Obama supports them:

“In the end it didn’t pass because we’re so politicized. There were some on my side who did not want to be seen helping the president do something he wanted to get done, just because the president wanted to do it.”

It’s not really a surprise because the GOP has spent the last four years, and the next four, and hopefully the four after that and the four after that, stomping their feet and getting their Depends in a bunch because there’s a Democrat in the White House.

The only surprise is Toomey’s acknowledgement of GOP idiocy.

For the record, Toomey voted for expanded background checks.

Charles Barkley, on whether he knew any openly gay professional athletes:

"Of course I did. Everybody did. Everybody played with a gay teammate, and it’ s no big deal. First of all, I think it’s an insult to gay people to think that they’re trying to pick up on their teammates. But everybody has played with a gay teammate .... I had several teammates, I probably had three or four guys I played with in my 16 years. But like I say, think about Jason Collins, he played on six teams, so six teams played with a gay guy. And so, everybody has played with a gay guy, you just didn’t know he was a gay guy. Cause until a gay guy comes out, it’s none of your business.”

Again, it’s not the gay, it’s the player.

Can they do the job? That’s all that matters.

I Didn't Say It.......

Sarah Palin, on Obama's decision not to defend DOMA:

"I have always believed that marriage is between one man and one woman. Like the majority of Americans, I support the Defense of Marriage Act and find it appalling that the Obama administration decided not to defend this federal law which was enacted with broad bipartisan support and signed into law by a Democrat president. It’s appalling, but not surprising that the President has flip-flopped on yet another issue from his stated position as a candidate to a seemingly opposite position once he was elected."

Oh, you stupid, confused, narcissistic, pandering gasbag.
Obama hasn't flip-flopped, you fool.
He campaigned for, and won the presidency on the desire to repeal DOMA.
So, you keep lying, and pandering, and playing to your base, while saying the most incredibly inaccurate and stupid things ever.
Just when I think you can't be more of a total wingnut, you prove there's a whole sub-basement to your idiocy.

AfterElton's Michael Jensen, on Josh Brolin and Javier Bardem's kiss and dance at the Oscars not being shown--instead we were treated to a cut-away to Penelope Cruz:

"Viewers saw the two men walk out onto stage where they engaged in an apparently impromptu dance, though viewers only saw a flash of that before the camera jumped to an extended shot of Penelope Cruz...So why the cut away? On one hand, it seems unlikely that ABC would find a kiss between Bardem and Brolin to be something needing to be censored. After all, back in 2006, the Oscar telecast included a Brokeback Mountain spoof featuring Jon Stewart and George Clooney in bed. On the other hand, the cutaway to Cruz seemed awkward and clearly lasted until the two men had stopped dancing."

I think it has to do with the Oscars not being the Tonys, where men kiss, and women kiss, and people thank they same-sex lovers and partners regularly in acceptance speeches.
Oscar needs to grow up.


Bruce Cohen, an openly gay man, attempts to explain ABC's cut-away from the kiss and dance between Brolin and Bardem:

"It [the dance and the kiss] was unscripted, and the plan in the truck was always to cut to Penelope in the audience applauding Josh's and Javier’s introduction, so that is what happened, just as they were starting to dance. Josh and Javier’s moment (I saw them start to dance, but, to be honest, I have no idea if they kissed — that’s the first I’ve heard of that) would have made a great TV moment, but since no one knew it was coming, we cut to the gorgeous Mz. Cruz as planned. By the time we cut back from her close-up, James and Javier were walking to the podium."

Hmmm, sounds a little shady to me, because, in the nanosecond that the dance appeared, when they made the decision to cut to Cruz, they could have easily made the decision to cut back to Brolin and Bardem.

Randy Thomasson, Save California's leading bigot, homophobe, hater and liar, on AG Eric Holder not defending DOMA in court:

"It's downright frightening to hear U.S. Attorney General Eric Holder suggest that moral disapproval of homosexual marriages is somehow unconstitutional. What's next? Federal lawsuits against states with man-woman marriage laws -- and federal investigations of individuals who believe that marriage is only for a man and a woman? Barack Obama lied when he said he'd defend marriage for only a man and a woman. And now Obama is following in the footsteps of another liar -- that's Jerry Brown of California. We need to pray for justice to be done. We need to pray for protection from God because America is going down the toilet morally because of its disobedience to God. And we need to ask for God's mercy, something we certainly don't deserve.""

Um, Randy, God has nothing to do with the laws of this country.
The Bible has nothing to do with the laws of this country.
If they did, we'd have a lot more pressing things to worry about.
Like Red Lobster and their heathen practice of serving shrimp.
Like Calvin Klein and his blasphemous use of mixed fabrics.
Yeah, let's start a protest over that.

Alan Keyes, on DOMA:

"Government doesn't endow people with the ability to procreate the species. The Creator takes care of that. Like all unalienable rights, those associated with the natural family exist in consequence of this endowment. A couple that cannot, by nature, procreate has no claim to those rights. Nor can government grant them a semblance of it without impairing the claims of one or both of the parents biologically implicated in the physical conception of the child. The DOMA simply makes more explicit the government's obligation to secure the Creator-endowed unalienable rights of the natural family. This obligation precludes government from fabricating other rights that impair them. In this respect, granting homosexuals the right to marry is like granting plantation owners the right to own slaves."

You're right, asshat.
Government doesn't enable people to create life, but God doesn't run the government, now does she?
Marriage is a legal, civil institution, not a religious one. Please understand, you moron, that when two people, male and female, male and male, female and female, marry in this country, they are not legally married unless the government says so.
The churches have no say in the matter after they perform their rituals.

Mike Huckabee, fucktard and presidential hopeful--that makes me giggle because there is no way Huckabee will ever be president--on same-sex parents:

"I believe that we're in denial about potential problems as we see more and more homosexual couples raising families. Essentially, these are experiments to see how well children will fare in such same-sex households. It will be years before we know whether or not our little guinea pigs turn out to be good at marriage and parenthood."

Mike, you dumbass.
You keep mentioning the "problems" associated with gay couples, or gay people, raising children, and yet you never explain further.
If you are so concerned about children being raised by heterosexual couples only, then why aren't you fighting heterosexual divorce?
Seems to be that if you cared about children and parents, you'd be working to keep heterosexual couples together.
I guess it's just easier to gay bash.

Aaron Schock, the turquoise belt-wearing not-gay Congressman, on DOMA:

“I would say it’s disappointing he is unilaterally making that decision when a bipartisan Congress passed a law into effect. It was supported by Democrats and Republicans and was signed into law by then-President Clinton.”

Let's see....just because some law had bipartisan support doesn't mean it's fair and equitable.
I mean, were that the case, we might still own slaves in this country, because a couple of hundred years ago everyone was for it.
Woman might not have the vote because it used to be the law.
Oh, Aaron, hony, I think that when you finally get a boyfriend, and finally come out, you'll change your mind.
And you'll make a beautiful bride.

Mike Huckabee [AGAIN!], on how Obama grew up in Kenya--and he actually said that...as if it means anything:

"And I have said many times, publicly, that I do think he has a different worldview and I think it is, in part, molded out of a very different experience. Most of us grew up going to Boy Scout meetings and, you know, our communities were filled with Rotary Clubs, not madrassas."

Oh he's trying to kill two birds with one stone.

First, he's feeding Teabagger frenzy about Obama being born in Kenya--even though, after he first said Kenya, he said he misspoke and meant Indonesia.

But the use of "madrassas" is also interesting.

See, in English, the term madrassas, or madrasah, usually refers to the specifically Islamic institutions, that offer two courses of study: a hifz course teaching memorization of the Qur'an; and an 'alim course leading the candidate to become an accepted scholar in the community.

See, Mike Huckabee doesn't have the balls to say it out loud, he just wants people to think Obama was born in Kenya and he's a Muslim.

Huckabee was born in America and he's a fucktard.

May Day! May Day! We Wasted a Fortune!

It's sad.

It's funny.

It's pathetic.

It's all that and more.

The Religious "Right" sponsored an event at the Lincoln Memorial on May 1 entitled “May Day 2010: A Cry To God For A Nation In Distress.” They spent upwards of $70,000, and lined up the usual suspects--Tony Perkins from the Family Research Council and Pete LaBarbera of Americans For Truth About Homosexuality to right-wingnut Alan Keyes--for a day-long celebration to “reach the heart of God” and repent America’s wicked ways.

Wicked ways? Hmmmm. Oh yeah. Electing a black man who is pro-gay and pro-choice, and, dear jeebus, a Democrat.

Those wicked ways.

The event was described on the May Day 2010 website like this:

Join with Christian leaders of all denominations who love God to humble ourselves, pray, seek the face of God, and turn from our wicked ways—individually and as a nation.
This event is not to impress the media or those in Washington, but to reach the heart of God. Publicly repenting and crying out to God for His mercy instead of the judgment our many sins deserve.

Repentance in personal and corporate prayer to God and remembrance of His work throughout our nation's history will be major parts of the day as we seek God to do a great work of revival or reformation in our time.

Uh-huh.

So, $70,000 for, what sounds to me like, a big-tent revival meeting. To each his own. But, to get back to the sad, funny, pathetic part. Just 300 people showed up for the Hate Masked As Worship festival.

Three-hundred.

Now, couldn't $70,000 been better spent helping people instead of working to put people down because of their orientation or political views or voting record? Wouldn't God have been more impressed if the seventy grand was used to feed, clothe and shelter people?

I think so.

The Religious "Right"?

Not so much.