Ain't That America XLI

His ego inflates with talk of ballrooms and arches and god statues while his approval rates drop lower than his IQ. His minions circle the globe to say stupid things and he keeps taking dementia tests.

Oy, what a week …

This week the Gang of Six Racist and Stupid Supreme Court Justices dismantled the Voting Rights Act, actually saying that the racial gap in voter turnout has closed.

Which explains why many states in the South are now trying to redraw their Congressional maps to make everything all-white. As soon as the ruling came down Tennessee’s GOP-controlled legislature redrew the congressional district of Memphis, which has long enjoyed its own Democratic-leaning House seat and split it into three GOP-leaning districts.

If you don’t think this is a racist attempt to keep Black Americans from being represented in government, answer me this: would you choose to be Black in America today knowing what’s happening?

 

The British energy giant Shell reported robust profits following the surge in oil prices prompted by the Cankles war with Iran. Shell’s adjusted profits soared 24%, to $6.92 billion, in the first three months of the year from the same time last year.

Well, Big Oil and billionaires are certainly being paid handsomely by the war while the rest of America suffers. If only there was a way to stop this bull shiz …

 

Last October the Cankles Regime abruptly stopped paying third-parties for medical care provided to detainees in ICEstapo custody; third-party providers are used to provide “medically necessary” care including “dialysis, prenatal care, oncology, [and] chemotherapy” but no more of that for detainees; they can suffer and die, I guess.

 

Senate Republicans want to provide the Secret Service with $1 billion for “security adjustments and upgrades” related to the construction of Jeffrey Epstein Memorial Ballroom™.

Yes, it was supposed to be built and funded without taxpayer money and now the GOP wants YOU to pony up your share of a billion dollars for a ballroom no one other than the Pedophile In Chief wants.

 

The Department of Education opened an investigation into Smith College, an all-women’s institution in Massachusetts, for admitting transgender women.

The move is the latest by the Cankles Regime—whose rhetoric has frequently included attacks on trans people—to limit, and more likely end, transgender rights in America.

Ten years after celebrating his caucus victory at the Iowa State Fair, GOP Nutbag and Senator Rafael Cruz returned to Des Moines fueling chatter about a potential 2028 presidential bid. Cruz told the audience that the GOP is “winning historic victories” under Cankles’ second administration but failed to name one.

He also made no note of the fact that not only do Democrats despise him, so does the majority of the GOP so his little trip to Des Moines was a waste of time.

He should have gone to Cancun again.

 

Transportation Secretary and reality show “star” Sean Duffy blamed to collapse of Spirit airlines on both President Biden and former Transportation Secretary Pete Buttigieg.

But Sean? Moron? How do you explain that you opposed bailing out Spirit Airlines saying there is no need for a federal bailout of any low-cost airline.

Sounds like another GOP liar.

 

The current US Senator from South Carolina, and former Miss Cotton Ball Queen 1924, Miss Lindsey Graham wants to arm the Iranian people to fight the Iranian government:

“I love the idea of empowering the Iranian people with weapons, a Second Amendment solution to make the Revolutionary Guard’s life hell. It’s one thing to be bombed by America. It’s another thing to have your neighbor shoot back at you because they’re tired of being slaughtered.”

Siddown, Sassy, and pour yourself another Mint Julep you ignorant fuck.

 

Health and Human Services Secretary, heroin addict and collector of raccoon penises Robert F. Kennedy Jr. is demanding hospitals stop serving sugary drinks and foods, including Jell-O.

Calley Means, one of Kennedy’s top lapdogs, is asking members of the public to report hospitals for their Jell-O usage because that’s so important … not the measles or the hantavirus.

It’s Jell-O.

 

Real estate magnate Steve Roth is standing strong with fellow billionaire Ken Griffin in his spat with New York City Mayor Zohran Mamdani for suggesting billionaires should pay their fair share in taxes; Roth thinks the ultra-rich should be “praised and thanked” and also said this:

“I consider the phrase tax the rich … when spit out with anger and contempt by politicians both here and across the country, to be just as hateful as some disgusting racial slurs.”

Tax the rich is the new N-word, y’all.

 

This week Secretary of State Marco Rubio made the following statement about Iran:

“This is an international waterway; no country can control them. There is no international law that allows you to say, I’m going to put mines in an international body of water, and I’m going to blow up ships that don’t listen to us and try to go through. We cannot live in a world where a rogue state like this Iranian regime is allowed to claim, as a new normal, control over an international shipping lane.”

He’s right … but then since September last year, the US military has conducted 47 strikes on civilian marine vessels travelling in the Caribbean Sea and eastern Pacific Ocean, leading to over 190 deaths.

Maybe you should zip it, Little Marco.

A towering, gold-leaf statue of Cankles’ was unveiled with great fanfare at Cankles’ National Doral golf course, in a dedication ceremony that included a prayer from a MAGAt pastor even though Alan Cottrill, the artist behind the statue, called the whole thing a “clusterfuck”:

“I usually deal with people that have everything organized. From the start, this was chaos … and almost never, anytime whatsoever, does anyone miss a payment.”

That wasn’t the case with the 22-foot statue as demands to nix his vagina neck, AKA turkey neck, requests to make the model look, um, not so fat, and late payments soured Cottrill on the deal.

And when it went up his minions circled round and prayed while God was watched.

She was not amused at the false god idolatry.

 

Cankles once again went off script to brag once again to brag once again to brag about passing a test meant to detect cognitive decline linked to dementia:

“I’ve taken three. No president, think of this, has ever taken one.”

To be fair no other president has ever needed one, but then Cankles said the best thing ever, that he takes the test whenever someone calls him a moron.

Testing is a 24/7 gig at the Cankles White House.

PS The test he described―the Montreal Cognitive Assessment―is not an intelligence test but an exam to detect the signs of cognitive decline.

Why is he taking it so much? Asking for a country.

Violent crime in New York City remained at historically low levels through April, with the Bronx recording some of the steepest declines and department leaders said they are hoping to build on that progress ahead of the summer, when crime typically spikes as more people gather outdoors.

NYPD Commissioner Jessica Tisch said the crime declines are the result of a policing strategy focused on using data to remove illegal guns from the streets and dismantle violent gangs and criminal groups.

Huh. Removing guns, you say.

 

Americans are deeply uncomfortable with recent religion-related statements by Cankles and DUI Hire Pete Hegseth. In fact, 87% of Americans have a negative view of Cankles’ social media post appearing to depict himself as Jesus and 69% dislike Hegseth praying at the Pentagon for “overwhelming violence of action against those who deserve no mercy.”

When you allow rapists and drunks who cannot quote a favorite Bible verse or refer the Bible According to Pulp Fiction, you’ll have these issues.

 

Days after suspending Louisiana’s US House primaries, GOP Governor Jeff Landry is facing mounting backlash from residents in the form of a recall to remove him from office.

Good. His racist ass needs to be removed.

 

Madison Sheahan, a former top official with the ICEstapo, has lost the Republican primary in Ohio’s 9th district as what some see as a sign of how unpopular ICE has become amid an aggressive immigration crackdown in Cankles’ second term.

Good. Keep all these bigots and racists and criminals out of office.

And how do we do that …

Why Is It ...

… that as I was sitting in my car the other day, a person came up to my driver’s window and shouted, “I HAVEN’T SEEN YOU SINCE HIGH SCHOOL,” and all I could think to say was, “Can I get my burger and fries? You’re holding up the drive thru.”

… that hearing my voice in a recording makes me wanna apologize to every person I’ve ever spoken to.

… that everyone forgets that I am neither a morning person nor a night person but I do have a few minutes in the afternoon where I’m decent and that’s about it.

… that y’all need to remember that if I go missing there will be no need to go searching the hiking trails

… that there are days when I don’t want to be an adult, and I don’t even wanna be human, I just want to be a goat and eat all day and head-butt anyone who tries to stop me.

 … that no one sees that I have a really good heart, but it comes with a side of attitude and zero patience

… that no one listens to my life tips, like … if you rob a bank you will have no trouble with food, rent or bills for the next ten years, regardless of your success.

… that you should know to stay away from me if you’re sensitive because I will roast you for sport

… that you need to know how to be comfortable in your own skin because it’s a crime to wear someone else’s

… that I know how to treat people right but I also know how to walk a dog; the choice is yours.

Bobservations

The other day we stopped to wash the car and after getting her bathed we stopped to vacuum her out and wipe down the interior and doors etc. I vacuumed and Carlos wiped the water spots as a car pulled into the stall next to us.

Carlos stepped away from our car and nudged the door of the other car and started to wipe it off thinking it was our car and the lady came up to him:

“What are you doing?”

“I’m sorry?”

“Get your hands off my car. Watch what you’re doing?”

“Sorry.” I said. “ He’s legally blind. He thought it was our car.”

“Still, he should watch what he’s doing.”

“Again, he’s legally blind so he could not see that it wasn’t our car.”

“Well, he should pay attention—"

“You know WHO should pay attention? The person screaming at a blind man for touching her car door when, if you opened your eyes, you might notice the white cane he uses to get around.”

“I didn’t see it.”

“Well, then maybe you should get your eyes checked … unless you’re legally blind, too.”

And this again proves my point about why I do not like people.

This is Tuxedo from March 2021 …

Everybody knows you cannot be a Christian and a Republican at the same time; even a cat.

Also, if you’re a Republican that doesn’t automatically mean you’re racist, but if you’re racist, you’re clearly a Republican.

The top four states for murder rates in the country are Mississippi, Louisiana, Alabama and Missouri, so why isn’t The Felon sending the National Guard there? 

Oh, Red States, yeah. But, then I realized he’s killing off his own supporters and now I’m not so mad at it.

Another shooting … this time in Minnesota … thoughts and prayers and just another day in the United States of Guns where:

Guns are banned in Congress. Guns are banned at all The Felon’s properties. Guns are banned at NRA events. Guns are banned at GOP events. Guns are banned at CPAC.

But … guns are not banned at schools or churches or shopping malls or movie theaters or concerts when your safety is in question.

Think about that.

Chester Nez, the last of the original Navajo Code Talkers passed away recently at the age of 93.

The Code Talkers' language was based on unwritten Native American languages, most famously Navajo, which were used to create an unbreakable military code that America used in both WWI and WWII. The languages were effective because they were spoken by few people and were completely unknown to enemy forces.

Thank you for your service. RIP.

One thing to remember … if you join the ICEstapo  in 2025 then you absolutely would have joined the Nazis in 1935.

That’s all.

And speaking of ICE … a special shout out to white women in California who have been putting Mexican flag stickers on their cars to bait the ICEstapo into profiling them.

They keep getting pulled over and wasting the ICEstapo’s time.

Once again, it seems to be the women doing the resisting. We ought to try electing one president …

Jovica Suljagic is a model from Belgrade, Serbia who has been working since 2004. That’s all I’ve got other than: Would You Hit It?

Meme Dump

The Funny Papers

Max Espinoza, Chris Britt, Kevin Kallaugher, Ed Wexler, Pedro X Molina, Dennis Goris, Nick Anderson, Benjamin Slyngstad, Clay Bennett, Mike Luckovich, Michael de Adder, Joe Thibodeau,

GOP Dumpster Fire: Racists, Liars, Grifters and Some Good News

There’s an old saying about when someone shows you who they are, believe them; and when someone says something, openly and publicly, believe that, too, and not the spin machine that envelopes the liar afterwards.

Here are a few examples of liars, and morons, and weirdos showing us who they are …

Shares of Trump Media & Technology Group AKA Truth Social slumped to their lowest level ever last week, the first trading day that its biggest shareholder—The Felon—is free to sell his stake in the company.

And we should trust our economy to that?

The Felon wants to impose a temporary 10% cap on credit-card interest rates but is it a good idea?

While borrowers in lower- and middle-income households who carry balances would benefit the most from caps on credit-card charges they would also be the first ones that banks would stop lending to if The Felon’s cap were passed.

So, yeah, another bad idea from Mister Bankruptcy.

In recent years Republicans have made up rules or redefined existing policies to push through their agenda, remember in 2016 then-Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell refused to allow a hearing on President Obama’s nominee to SCOTUS,  Merrick Garland, by falsely claiming lying that it was a “rule,” but in 2020 McConnell rescinded the non-existent rule when The Felon nominated unqualified Amy Coney Barrett to the court.

Now, according to Senator Tommy Tuberville, there is another never-before-heard-of practice that says the Federal Reserve cannot lower interest rates before an election; and he is outraged because it’s a win for Biden and a win for the American people …

Tuberville claims this was only done, not to help the people, but to help Kamala Harris win in November and says the “nation’s central bank has no business moving rates this close to an election and is clearly trying to tip the balance in favor of Kamala Harris.”

Of note: The Felon nominated Powell, a Republican, to the chairmanship in 2018 and he confirmed in an 84-13 vote, “one of the widest margins of confirmation for a Trump nominee.”

Sorry, Tommy, you lose … you’re a loser.

Springfield City Manager Bryan Heck told the Wall Street Journal that he received a call from one of Sofa Loren’s staffers, who asked if the rumors true of pets being taken and eaten were true, and Heck replied:

“No. There was no verifiable evidence or reports to show this was true.”

But JD Vance still ran with the story and doubled down on the lie, and then even The Felon, in his disastrous cry-baby debate performance shrieked:

“They’re eating the dogs!!!”

This campaign runs on nothing; no solutions, just lies; no problems solved, just racist tropes.

Robert F. Kennedy Jr claims to be the great hope for the future of America if The Felon wins in November:

“I don’t have a post for myself that’s picked out. I know that I’m going to be deeply involved in helping to choose the people who can run FDA and NIH and CDC in a way that restores public health.”

Yes, the man who dragged a dead bear off a roadway and drove the carcass into Central Park as a joke, the man who heard about a dead whale on a beach and his first thought was to take a chainsaw and hack the whale’s face off, the man with the brain worms, is saying he’ll save America.

From himself?

During a stop in the automaking state of Michigan The Felon repeated false claims lied that Chinese automakers are putting up large factories in Mexico and vowed to slap 200% tariffs on any vehicles the un-built plants make and ship to the United States.

Facts: the tariffs would be paid for by anyone who bought a Mexican-built Chinese car.

Facts: there are no Chinese automobile factories in Mexico.

Michelle Morrow, the Republican QAnon candidate for North Carolina superintendent of public instruction, falsely claimed lied week that the “+” in LGBTQ+ indicates support for pedophilia. She used this nonsense bull shit to attack her Democratic opponent, Mo Green, for having accepted the endorsement of LGBTQ+ advocacy organization Equality North Carolina.

In case you’re unsure—and I don’t think you are—the “+” in LGBTQ+ indicates the inclusion of people whose sexual orientation or gender identities don’t fit neatly into categories like lesbian, gay, bisexual, or queer/questioning like those who are asexual, nonbinary, intersex, etc.

At the ballot box, give Michele Morrow a “-” sign.

This week Senator John Foghorn Leghorn Kennedy of Louisiana baselessly accused an Arab American witness— Maya Berry, executive director of the Arab American Institute, a nonpartisan national civil rights advocacy organization—of supporting terrorists during a Senate hearing, and as she called out his blatant Islamophobia, the GOP senator told her to “hide her head in a bag.”

That’s the GOP … racist AF.

Even though The Felon says he will have the government pay for IVF treatments, this week Senate Republicans blocked a bill that would have created a right to access IVF treatments and mandated that insurance plans cover the practice, deriding the vote as a political ploy.

It’s the GOP playing politics with women’s healthcare so … VOTE THEM ALL OUT.

Two huge advocates of Free Speech lies, Elon Musk and Representative  Marjorie Taylor Greene took to Twitter—I call it that because Elon hates that people still call it Twitter—to share a rumor that police claim an explosive device was discovered near the Long Island site where The Felon was set to hold.

Police reported the rumor of a bomb threat was not true was a lie but these two morally bankrupt asshats still ran with it because lies are all they offer.

In  another case of lies and stupidity, Sofa Loren AKA JD Vance told voters in North Carolina to start knocking on doors and posting on social media to get out the vote for The Felon because the campaign can’t count on the media or “big tech oligarchs” to help them.

Funny, though, that “big tech oligarchs” Elon Leon Musk and major venture capitalist and top Vance donor David Sacks lobbied for Vance as The Felon’s running mate.

I guess JD forgot about that. He also forgot that he begged his BFF, “big tech oligarch” Peter Thiel, who bankrolled Vance’s ascendancy to the Senate, to fund the failing GOP campaign.

The Ohio Christian Coalition, representing the Christian faith in that state, issued a scathing letter in defense of Haitian migrants in Springfield and decried the false statements lies spewed by both Sofa Loren and The Felon that Haitian immigrants in Springfield were eating pets and wildlife:

“We are disturbed and outraged by the reports that have masqueraded as news regarding many of our siblings in Springfield, Ohio. Public and prominent figures have intentionally crafted untruths that have assaulted the culture and character of Haitians residing in Springfield.”

Last week a coalition of Ohio’s Catholic bishops issued a similar letter.

Congressional Republicans in Texas will spend millions on television ads targeting Democrats for supporting pro-LGBTQ+ legislation.

The National Republican Congressional Committee unveiled its first Texas ad of the general election accusing Democrat Representative Vicente Gonzalez of pushing “sex changes for kids.”

Following suit, because he also has no real plans to offer, other than running off to Mexico when the power goes out in Texas, Raphael “Ted” Cruz unveiled his campaign’s biggest ad buy yet for two ads accusing challenger Democrat Representative Colin Allred of supporting legislation that allows men to use women’s restrooms and not knowing “the difference between boys and girls.”

Once again, the GOP runs on lies and fears not solutions and plans.

The Felon spoke this week of rebuilding “our roads, bridges, highways, and airports” even though during his last four years in office, while he promoted every other week as infrastructure week, he never had anything more that a “concept” of a plan; but then he said this:

“I used to go to school on the subway … my parents would drop me off at a subway and I’d go to Union Turnpike, or I’d go to wherever. They had no fear that I was going to be disappearing! They would take me to a subway, put me on, and say, ‘Bye darling, bye.’ If you do that today, you have about a 75% chance that you’ll never see your child again. What the hell has happened here? What has happened?”

That fat gelatinous bastard riding the subway? Bitch, please.

JD Vance, AKA Sofa Loren, claims that:

“Kamala Harris has granted mass amnesty to millions of illegal aliens. Now I happen to think what Kamala Harris has done is not just wrong it is illegal! So when Kamala Harris uses an illegal action to give amnesty to aliens, that does not make them legal immigrants, it makes them illegal immigrants unless you’ve lost all common sense.”

Someone needs to tell JD, since he longs to be Vice President, that vice presidents have no power to grant anyone amnesty, much less “millions of illegal immigrants.”

JD told us he makes up stories and here he goes again.

This week  over 700 high-ranking national security officials endorsed Kamala Harris saying they have concerns over The felon’s “scary authoritarian streak” and adding:

“Vice President Harris has all the leadership qualities needed to be a strong commander in chief. She’s prepared. She’s strategic. She’s understands all sides of an issue. We saw as much during the debate.”

The letter endorsing Harris consists of 741 former high-ranking national security officials, including 233 general and flag officers, 15 four-star generals, 10 former cabinet secretaries and 10 service secretaries as well as leaders who served in Republican administrations.

But hey, The Felon and Sofa Loren have Kid Rock and Tulsi Gabbard.

After calling it a “dangerous practice,” Kentucky Governor, Democrat, Andy Beshear signed an executive order to ban conversion therapy on minors in his state.

Beshear said attempts to alter a young person’s gender expression or sexual attractions have “no basis in medicine”—a view supported by experts in medicine and mental health but not shared by GOP Representative Josh Calloway, a Baptist preacher, who vows to “stop this governor from pushing his harmful far-left agenda on struggling kids.”

As of now  Kentucky is the 24th state to ban the ex-gay torture of minors.

Oh, and Josh? God is watching, sees your bigotry and intolerance, and She is not happy.

Former six-term South Carolina Republican Congressman Bob Inglis added his name to the growing list of Reagan- and Bush-era conservatives who will vote for Kamala Harris ; Inglis is the state’s first prominent Republican to back Harris:

“[The Felon] is a clear and present danger to the republic. He’s disqualified based on character and rationality, so I’ll be voting for Kamala Harris. I feel sorry for him. He’s really quite a sick puppy. He’s been unfaithful to three wives. Why would we, at the altar with him as the fourth, think that he’s going to be faithful to us? Talk about irrationality. He needs some help.”

Snap.

Remember, this is a party that promises but never delivers, a party of demented old men, and mascara-wearing RuPaul wannabes who hate women, the  LGBTQ+ community, immigrants, education and members of our military.

We don't need that so ...