Bobservations

Carlos thinks he’s funny. He’s a lot of things, sweet and smart and kind but he’s acquired taste of funny; he likes to make up jokes … like the email he sent to his friend Ellen who had a birthday last week. He wrote her a poem about aging joke and, yes, those can be funny if you’re turning forty or fifty, but when you’re turning 70+ a joke about how you started your life in diapers and you’ll be ending your life in diapers, is not necessarily funny to everyone.

Ellen was not amused—but to be fair, Ellen has no sense of humor.

But then later that same day I was purging the kitchen of things we didn’t need, don’t use, don’t want and I came across this oddly-shaped whisk; it looks like a large cone-shaped spring on a handle—perhaps a potato masher—and we don’t use it so I opted to donate it. Then Carlos saw it and said maybe he’d send it to his friend Byron who might like it as a sex toy, and I said:

“Honey. Honey. Sweetie. You’re not funny. You’re cute as a bug’s ear, sweet as all get out, and kinder than a pack of singing nuns in a Disney movie, but you’re not known for the funny.”

He put down the whisk.

This Tribute to Cats [and Dog]  is from March 2011 …  Caturday....With A Small Dose Of Dog[?]urday

Tuxedo and Max Goldberg like to sneak off for a 'nap'. Yeah, that's it......nap.

My two handsome men!

Consuelo Roca Jones. Hey, if she doesn't know I'm taking her picture, I don't get the stink eye!

And speaking of stink eye, Tallulah was giving it on the down-low when I caught her playing with Consuelo's toy.

And Ozzo, poor Ozzo. He begged not to be included on Caturday. He.Begged.

JD Vance gave a speech in which he noted that “we are about to celebrate the 25th year” of 9/11.

Celebrate? I think you mean commemorate dumbass because we are not celebrating the murders of 3,000 Americans.

Ever.

Sixteen years ago, Google pulled its search engine out of China because they chose not to submit to an authoritarian government.

Today they are renaming lakes because a fascist, sitting on the toilet at 2AM, told them so.

I have been watching Westies about New York in the 70s and the Irish and Italian mob going head-to-head. It’s good; gritty and dirty and then, of course, hot.

And by hot I mean that guy up there, Tom Brittney, who plays James, the good bad guy. He looks good in his jeans and even better out of his jeans..

Smolder. 

Just as I have never called that bloated, farting, diaper-shitting, racist, rapist, pedophile, grifting criminal my president,. I will never call the Gulf of Mexico by any other name, nor will I ever call Lake Ontario anything other than Lake Ontario. And the Kennedy Center will always be the Kennedy Center.

This is all a deflection for his inept ability to fix the economy, stop a war he started for no reason, and keep us from finding out how many young children he raped on Epstein’s Island.

Flock CEO Garrett Langley thinks you don’t deserve the right to privacy so his Flock Cameras are going up everywhere to watch you, but … Langley has blurred his house in Google maps because he thinks he deserves the right to privacy.

Think on that. 

Clark Bockelman is a thirty-four-year-old American high-fashion model who rose to prominence in the early 2010s due to his classic blond, muscular, "all-American" look … so, Would You Hit It?

Bobservations

Carlos came to me this week and said he needed a picture as part of his work profile for a new translation group he’s joined. I told him to put on a nice shirt and I’d take a picture and help him upload it but he said:

“Don’t you already have pictures of me?”

“Of course I do … let’s look.”

And I opened a file on the computer.

“Here you are in a straw hat slurping a margarita on the beach. That’s a good one. Oh, here’s one of you kissing Ozzo. You wanna post that one? No!!! Wait!!! This is the best one … you on the balcony of a hotel we stayed in during a trip to Key West and you’re buck naked.”

I told him there were no work appropriate photos of him unless he’s working as a drunken, dog loving exotic dancer.

This Tales of Tuxedo is from October 2010 and includes an appearance from the late, great MaxGoldberg, who was Tuxedo’s bestest friend; it’s entitled Just for Giggles:

I saw this:

And then I saw this:

Coinkydink?

I don’t know what on Earth  he is looking at when the rear view, er, real view is coming from inside the house!

I never had to learn this lesson, I just think I always knew it, but the lesson is "Don’t act like an ass around Clint Eastwood."

Clint’s son, Scott, says his dad humbled Kevin Costner’s “big ego” on the set of “A Perfect World” in 1993 and how his dad remained “very calm” without “raising his voice ever.” Scott Eastwood explained that Costner was “sort of going through maybe … a rise to fame” at the time and “maybe [had] a big ego” and said Kevin wouldn’t come out of his trailer for some reason.

And so then Clint dismissed him from set—despite him being in that day’s scene—and instructed the crew to “send [Costner] home.” When Clint was reminded that his co-star was “in the scene,” he repeated his instruction. Scott then said:

“I guess they just went to Kevin and said, ‘Hey, you’re going to go home for the day.’ … He said, ‘What do you mean, I’m in the scene?’ [And they said], ‘Well, I guess you’re not anymore.'”

The next day, Costner was on set as planned.

If you’re more worried about a “socialist” in office than a pedophile or domestic abuser, I have questions. Most of them are variations of “what the fuck is wrong with you,” to be fair.

Just a heads up for those of you on the boycott … not only is Taylor Farms serving you Diarrhea Salads but they are using forced labor to pick the Poop Greens. See, they pay the Arizona Department of Corrections $4.75 an hour for prison labor of which just $1.50 an hour goes to the workers.

Prisons for Profit, Corporate Greed and Explosive Runs.

Yesterday, when Abdul El Sayed won the Democratic primary in Michigan his opponent Haley Stevens called him to concede and congratulate him on his victory and told others to do the same. Governor Gretchen Whitmer and Senator Gary Peters then called El Sayed to congratulate him and throw their support behind him.

In addition the entire team that supported Stevens is now lining up for El Sayed heading into the Midterms. That is the kind of unity we need; no grudges; no sitting out the election;  just the entire party pulling in the same direction.

That’s how you do a Blue Wave.

Vote Blue. Cast a Goddamned Vote! 

Michiel Francis Loonen is both a model and piano composer whose work bridges two worlds of expression. Together, these paths reflect his artistry: a pursuit of beauty, whether in front of the camera or at the keys of a piano so Would You Hit It?

Bobservations

A text exchange between Carlos and me yesterday …

Me: I’m leaving work. I’ll drop your book at the Post Office on my way home.

Carlos: Thank you.

Me: 💗💗💗

Carlos: How come you love me so much?

Me: I have no idea.

Carlos: Especially since I am a horrible person. [Of note: a dear old old old old old friend of his called him a horrible person because of some family situation going on]

Me: True dat.

Carlos: What? You think I’m horrible—

Me: Who is this? :::crackle::: crackle::: I can’t :::crackle::: hear you :::crackle:::

I love toying with him.

This Cat Tale, er, Tail, is from September 2009 and is entitled Rule Breakers:

We have rules at Chez Smallville. Cats can get on the beds, on the desk, on the sunroom furniture and on the living room couch. They cannot get on the counters, the tables, the dining room chairs or any of the four new chairs in the living room. And they listen. They know where they can go, and where they cannot.

So, imagine my surprise to walk into the living room and find Tuxedo and MaxGoldberg nesting in a No-No Chair! And look at Max; he's got that Uh-oh face. Tuxedo, on the other hand, couldn't even be bothered to wake up.

At least not until I yelled Geddownfromthere!

Cat scatter.

I miss those Little Devils.

How to tell the world you’re thirsty for attention without saying a word. 

Well, if you're Lisa Rinna, you appear at Cannes because there are cameras there, and you're dressed like Disco Bride of Frankenstein.

Here’s a palate cleanser to scrub my brain of Rinna … the other day I ordered a delivery of cake flour and the wrong thing was delivered.

Or was it?

So it goes like this … billionaire asshat Jeff Bezos went on a rampage over NYC Mayor Zohran Mamdani “villainizing” billionaires so the very next day Mamdani launched a collection effort against Bezos and Amazon and recovered over $9 million in unpaid idling fines which occurred when Amazon drivers left their trucks illegally idling on the streets while they made their deliveries.

Bezos’ $2 trillion company ignored the tickets and fucked around and found out that Mamdani ain’t playin’.

Junior was getting married in the Bahamas over the weekend and his Daddy couldn’t attend because, he said, being president made it impossible—though it never stopped him from golfing or feeding his fat corroded face at Mar-Illegal—but is being too busy the real reason?

See, the real reason is that the Bahamas' Immigration Act generally restricts entry to individuals deemed "undesirable," including convicted criminals, sex offenders, and those with a history of sexual offenses … like the US President.

Makes me wonder if Junior didn’t plan the wedding in the Bahamas on the hopes that Daddy would get arrested.

In South Carolina MAGAt and  former police officer Waylon Rogers, along with Matthew Fay, Allen Folz, Paula Folz, Edward Storer, and Jeanine Storer, have been charged in an alleged child sex ring.

NOT TRANSGENDER! NOT A DRAG QUEEN! NOT AN IMMIGRANT!

Tennessee officials will pay $835,000 to settle a lawsuit filed by Larry Bushart who was jailed for more than a month over a Facebook post he made about the murder of conservative activist racist and asshat Charlie Kirk. Bushart, a retired police officer, spent 37 days behind bars before authorities dropped the felony charge against him in October; Bushart now says:

“I am pleased my First Amendment rights have been vindicated. The people’s freedom to participate in civil discourse is crucial to a healthy democracy. I am looking forward to moving on and spending time with my family.”

A win for Free Speech!

Caesar Romeo van den Idsert is an internationally recognized fashion model, six-foot-one, with blonde and blue eyes … Romeo, Romeo, Would You Hit It?

Bobservations

On Tuesday Carlos was being driven to Columbia for a court interpretation and I was gleefully dancing at the thought of having the house to myself for short time. But then he told me Blue-Eyed Paul was coming to repair the dryer and would call when he was on his way. I said that was fine because …

“Paul lets me hold his tool while he works.”

“He what?”

“I get to hold his tool while he works.”

Just then he got a text that the court case was postponed and he looked at me and smiled and said he was staying home.

“Damn! Then I won’t be able to hold Paul’s tool?”

“Sweetheart, I can’t see a thing. He could be here now with his tool in your hand and I wouldn’t know.”

Truth.

This Tuxedo Tale, co-starring MaxGoldberg, is from September 2009 and is one of the rare instances when these two boys were not getting along and it reminded me of an old TV show …

“Tuxedo Carrington and MaxGoldberg Carrington Colby Dexter are ready to go at it … I can't wait until one of them pushes the other into the fishpond on the Carrington Estate!”

Seriously? A planned U.K. production of Dreamgirls has been canceled after the rights holders withdrew permission for the show to move forward following complaints over the production’s casting. The Gillian Banks Creative Productions saw their show cancelled after announcing a Dreamgirls cast in which nearly all of the principal roles, with the exception of Curtis, were played by white performers.

Yes, a musical about the rise and fall of a Black all-girl singing group in the 1960s was recast with all-white performers.

Make it make sense.

On February 2, 2009, just thirteen days into his presidency, Barack Obama finished a meeting in the Oval Office with Jim Douglas about the nation’s economic recovery efforts. As photographers prepared to leave the room, Obama noticed something out of place: the sofas had been shifted to make room for the press setup and had not yet been returned. Instead of stepping away and waiting for staff to handle it, Obama simply walked over, grabbed one end of a sofa, and asked Douglas to help move it back.

White House photographer Pete Souza captured the moment, and the photograph quickly became one of the most widely shared images from the early Obama years and still speaks volumes about the kind of human Barack Obama has always been.

Remember that entitled tourist I posted about last week who hurled a rock at an endangered Hawaiian monk seal?

Well, he’s been identified as Igor Lytvynchuk who claims he was actually doing a good thing … by trying to save a pair of helpless turtles.

Lytvynchuk is now facing federal charges. If convicted, he faces faces up to one year in prison for each charge and a fine of up to $50,000 under the Endangered Species Act and a fine of up to $20,000 under the Marine Mammal Protection Act.

I guess it’s good he’s rich, eh?

In an interview with Variety, writer Madison Sinclair revealed just one of the jokes—about Melanie and MAGA comedian Tony Hinchcliffe—that was cut  from Netflix's The Roast of Kevin Hart:

“Tony is like Melania: The only thing relevant about him is that he opened for Trump once, too.”

Snap!

Cankles’ showed off his brilliance the other day by coining a new word, and explained it like a toddler:

“Dumocrats. Because they’re dumb, I—they’re dumb. It’s D-U-M. I got rid of the B. So you’re only changing one letter, right? E goes, the U comes.”

That only made many in the Democrat party opt to rename the GOP as the “Rape-ublican party.”

Eren Semerci is a Turkish fashion model, actor, and television personality who appeared on a version of Survivor, so Would You Hit It?