Bobservations

So, we were at the Elephant’s Delicatessen in Portland last week ordering breakfast and a woman noticed Carlos’ cane and came up to talk. Turns out her father has Retinitis Pigmentosa, too, and has been blind since he was a child. We stood and chatted while waiting and then she asked Carlos how long he’d been visually impaired.

Carlos thought she was asking how long we’d been waiting and he said:

“About fifteen minutes.”

The look on that woman’s face is etched in my brain! And for the rest of the time we were on vacation, I’d turn to Carlos and say …

“About fifteen minutes.”

… and howl.

Oh look, closeted gay man, who only came out when we learned he molested young boys, Kevin Spacey, has a film coming out.

Billionaire Boys Club is Spacey’s first film since he was replaced by Christopher Plummer in All The Money in the World after multiple allegations of sexual assault.

Check that off the list of films not to see.

What’s this … FamilySearch, the world's largest genealogy organization, is redesigning its website so the LDS Church-sponsored database can store and provide records of same-sex families.

The Mormon Church doing something right and decent for the LGBTQ community?

Maybe Hell is freezing over.

On the other hand … a few weeks back Pope Frankie Goes to Hollywood, er, Francis told a gay man that God had made him that way and lotsa folks in the LGBTQ community lost their shiz.

I, however, said, “Wait.”

And this week Frankie condemned abortion and once again clarified the Catholic Church’s view of what is considered a “family” is a heterosexual family only.

So, again I say, F%k off Frankie.

But then … in heavily Catholic Ireland this week it was announced that gay men convicted of sex crimes prior to the decriminalization of homosexuality a quarter of a century ago will receive an official apology in Ireland’s Dáil—the Assembly of Ireland—and Seanad—the Senate of Ireland:

“The all-party supported motion will say the law prior to 1993 caused harm to gay people and to their family and friends. The motion is expected to get the support of the Cabinet at its meeting this morning and later Taoiseach Leo Varadkar is set to deliver a key speech in the Dáil. Politicians from across the Dáil and Seanad will also speak on the motion that will acknowledge the hurt caused to people who were deterred by the law from being open about their identity. It will say this prevented many of them from engaging in civil and political life. There will also be calls to ensure Irish foreign policy promotes the rights of lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender people globally.”

Good news on that front, eh?

In a majority six to one vote, the Richmond Public School board voted to change the name of J.E.B. Stuart [a Confederate General] Elementary to Barack Obama Elementary School.

_____ must be livid because schools named after him get sued for fraud.

Openly gay Pennsylvania lawmaker Brian Sims blasted Vice President Mike Pence on Facebook upon Pence’s arrival in Philadelphia and offered a one-finger salute and said:

“OFFICIAL WELCOME: Vice President Mike Pence let me be the first person to officially welcome you to the City of Brotherly Love, and to my District in the State House!

To be clear, we’re a City of soaring diversity. We believe in the power of all people to live and to contribute: Black, Brown, Queer, Trans, Atheist, Immigrant, we want you and we’ll respect you.

So, keep that in mind while you’re here raising money to attack more families, spread more lies, blaspheme with your bible, and maybe even talk to a woman without your wife in the room. We have plenty of them, and they’re pretty much all more powerful and more real than you have ever been.

So…get bent, then get out!”

Bravo, sir, bravo.

John Kelly is once again ALLEGEDLY barely tolerating _____ according to those close to him.

While Kelly himself once believed he stood between _____ and chaos, he has told at least one person that he may as well let the president do what he wants, even if it leads to impeachment.

Um, John? You, like Pope Frankie, can f%k off, because you are as complicit as anyone in this hate-filled regime because, worse that acting like a spoiled petulant wannabe dictator baby, you stand by and allow it to happen and say nothing.

Kiss my ass.

Oh, and for anyone who didn’t know this, it was John Kelly, back in April, who suggested that separating children from their parents at the borders was a good way to stop illegal immigrant.

So, yeah, f%k off again.

In sad news, openly gay actor Russell Tovey has parted ways with his fiancé, British rugby player Steve Brockman. Tovey broke the news of the break-up in a comment to a follower on Instagram, who had asked if the couple was still together:

“No darling.”

Um, Russell? Steve? If either of you needs a shoulder to cry on, or, you know, whatever, I’m here for you.

Laura Ingraham is at it again; and by ‘it’ I mean acting the racist tool on Fox.

Laura Ingraham actually described the detention centers where immigrant children are being kept after being torn from their parents as “essentially summer camps”:

“As more illegal immigrants are rushing the border, more kids are being separated from their parents. And temporarily housed at what are, essentially, summer camps.”

Ingraham can take her place in the F%k Off Line.

Oh, and while we’re here, let’s, all of us, stop calling then “detention centers” and “tent cities” and shelters” and call them what they are: Internment Camps.

And if you needed any more proof that ____ is kissing the asses of Kim Jong Un, Xi Jinping, or Vlad Putin while denigrating our allies around the world, look no further than the fact that the White House has removed all photographs of French President Emmanuel Macron and replaced them with photos of North Korean dictator Kim Jong Un.

Makes sense, because this week the United States of America pulled out of the United Nations Human Rights Council.

Human rights are clearly no longer important in America.

The move comes amid criticism over _____’s policy of separating child migrants from their parents at the US-Mexico border.

The Little Dick-tator got his diaper in a wad and left the group.

Aidan Turner. Hot. Irish. Actor. He has appeared on TV, film, and stage, and starred in the BBC’s Being Human—I never saw that one, though I was hooked on the American version—as well as in PBS’ Poldark and as Kili in JRR Tolkien's The Hobbit. He has also voiced a role in the first painted animation movie, Loving Vincent.

But again, smoldering, brooding, Irish, and hot as evidenced by the fact he was voted Sexiest Man in the World by UK Glamour magazine in 2016.

Bobservations

Oh, don’t those Florida lawmakers realize that those kids are going to be voters sooner, rather than later.

Apparently not, because while hundreds of Parkland, Florida shooting survivors looked on, the Florida House of Representatives rejected a motion to consider a ban on assault rifles. Then, less than an hour later, they passed a bill to declare porn a public health risk.

Florida lawmakers: guns are good, porn is a health risk.

At work, down one of the hallways, we have a series of commendations given to the business by our little city. Last week, the electrician came to fix a wiring problem and a hole was left in the wall until he could finish the job.

Someone suggested another commendation to hang over the hole.

Someone else suggested we just take a picture of our fearless leader/owner, frame it, and hang it over the hole.

I, however, suggested, we just take a frame, place it over the hole so you can still see the hole, and then label it with the boss’s name.

How I’m still employed there is beyond me.

Dwaine Caraway, the Mayor Pro Tem of Dallas, Texas, does not want the National Rifle Association to meet in his city and is urging the NRA to find someplace else for annual convention.

"It is a tough call when you ask the NRA to reconsider coming to Dallas. But it is putting all citizens first and getting them to come to the table and elected officials to come to the table, and to address this madness now."

He says the meeting is not appropriate in the wake of last week's school shooting in Florida, or in the wake of the 2016 ambush that killed five Dallas officers, and the assassination of President John F. Kennedy.

Dear Politicians, Please, be like Dwaine.

Six Republican lawmakers in South Carolina—Representatives Steven Long, William Chumley, James Mikell Burns, John McCravy III, Josiah Magnuson, and Richard Martin—have introduced a bill that would define any marriage not between a man and a woman as a “parody marriage.”

 Parody? Fuck off. I wanna introduce legislation that would call any lawmaker who cannot get over the fact that The Gays can get married as “parody lawmakers” and have them removed from office for wasting everyone’s time.

The other morning, I was driving Carlos to work and asked if he’d taken anything from the freezer for dinner that night …

“I’m cooking?”

We take turns, generally, and so I replied:

“Yes.”

"But I cooked last night.”

"Did you?”

“I did.”

What did you cook?”

“That Pork and Black Bean stew and the cornbread.”

“Did you cook it, or did you just reheat the dinner I made from the night before, because reheating is not cooking.”

“It’s not … ?”

Goddess love that man.

Tyler Tannahill, a Marine veteran and Leavenworth, Kansas Republican looking to replace Lynn Jenkins in Kansas’ second congressional district is giving away an AR-15 rifle for his campaign.

Yes, days after that same weapon was used to slaughter high school students and faculty in Florida, this asshat wants to give one away.

This, THIS, is the problem with the GOP and this, THIS, is why they need to be removed from office or kept from office. Are you listening Kansas?

Openly gay actor Russell Tovey is engaged to be married to his boyfriend Steve Brockman, a rugby player for the Kings Cross Steelers:

“Completely unexpected but very very happy and looking forward to having a proper party to celebrate when back in London.”

Congrats to the happy, hot, couple!

The other day I ranted about _____ and Paul Ryan and Marco Rubio about their actions, and nonactions, before and after this latest—because there will be more—mass shooting in Florida. Now I turn my attention to that flabby bag of illiterate skin called Ted Cruz.

Cruz appeared on “Fox & Friends” the day after the shooting and openly mocked the idea of doing anything about gun control. When bimbo anchor Ainsley Earhardt asked how the GOP should respond to calls for gun control…Ted.Cruz.Laughed:

“The reaction of the Democrats to any tragedy is to start to politicize it, so they immediately start calling that we’ve got to take away Second Amendment rights of law-abiding citizens. That’s not the right answer.”

Really, asshat? No one, no one, is suggesting taking away the Second Amendment you fearmongering mother fucker. They are simply asking for some responsible legislation to perhaps avoid more and more innocent Americans being slaughtered in school or church or the movies or the mall or a concert.

Cruz’s answer to these deadly shootings is to send his “thoughts and prayers” because those save lives.

 Fuck.Him.

In better funnier news, openly gay Olympic skier Gus Kenworthy was being harassed by an online troll who goes by the name of one of _____’s lawyers, who posed the question:

“Question is, if men marry men and women marry women who will produce children in this world”

Kenworthy was ready with the perfect response:

“Hopefully not you.”

Snap.

To end this post with hotness, this week marked the 38^th birthday of hot hot hot model David Gandy, who never met a pair of underwear, or even less, that he didn’t want to pose in.

Um … yum.

It's Snarkurday!

Trouble at Casa de Lohan? Well, maybe so after Lindsey Lohan lashed out at her mom, Dina, in a since deleted Instagram post which read:

“@dinalohan … Sometimes it sucks when your mom isn’t there for you.”

And the accompanying photo of a woman dropping a cell phone with the words “We’re done” written across it.

Perhaps this is all due to Lindsay’s latest public kerfuffle at VBar in Greenwich Village last month when the “actress” — I know, it’s still funny … “actress’ — ALLEGEDLY spewed racist remarks to a bartender right before spitting in his face.

Look, maybe it went down like this, Lindsay went nuts at a bar — how big of a stretch is that? — and then she called her mom to fix it all for her, but Dina had already crawled into a box of Chardonnay for the night — how big of a stretch is that?

Dina and Lindsay will be fine, and will be up and partying and brawling and stealing and slurring and lying again real soon.

Last week the Broadway show “A View From the Bridge” was halted suddenly when a male audience member LITERALLY fainted at the sight of actor Russell Tovey taking off his shirt.

Seriously. A call went out for a doctor in the house, and three audience members tended to the unidentified man until EMTs arrived to take him to a nearby hospital.

The next day Tovey received a Tweet from the faint-hearted audience member apologizing if he “disturbed the performance.”

Mama always told me to apologize when I faint at the sight of a hot man.

Diva-fight! Diva-fight! Diva-fight!

As you might recall, back in December Patti LaBelle made a Sweet Potato Pie that broke the Internet after someone posted a video praising Patti’s, um, Pie. People went crazy and stripped every single Wal-Mart shelf bare just to get one.

And that ALLEGEDLY didn’t sit well with Aretha Franklin because now she’s launched a yet-to-be titled food line of her own that features Aretha’s chili, gumbo and baked chicken along with desserts … like, maybe, a Sweet Tater pie? Aretha told Detroit’s Channel 4 that while she hasn’t personally tasted Patti’s, um, pies, that:

“Ms. Patti’s gonna have to move that pie to the side!” 

Oh, the shade of it all. Now, she’ll staunchly deny any issues with Patti — which is good lest Lady Marmalade come after you with a water bottle — but all Aretha needs to find her chili recipe and do just that.

Leave the pies to Patti. Don’t start Pie Wars! Not again!

Rob Kardastrophe’s new piece — who is the old piece of Rob’s half-sister’s new piece — Blac Chyna was arrested at Austin-Bergstrom International Airport after ALLEGEDLY causing a drunken scene on a flight from LA.

It seems Blac Chyna — real name Angela Renee White — was headed over to London and had a layover in Austin, but was, again ALLEGEDLY, such a booze-addled mess on the flight that the crew called the police who waited at the gate for Blac to appear.

When Blac Chyna got off the plane, she called an airline employee a “nasty bitch” and tried to make a mad dash for her connecting flight but the police nabbed her, cuffed her, and arrested her and found she had 1 gram of, um, something on her and so they added drug possession to the charges.

And so Rob Kardastrophe made his own mad dash to Austin to bail out his girl, but the kicker is that he drove to Austin. Isn’t he still a Kardastrophe? So why did he drive?

Couldn’t he have trampolined off’a Kim’s ass or couldn’t he have asked That Woman to borrow her broom?

Bobby Flay’s love life is as messy as a Top Chef Kitchen after a Quickfire, and it appears the chances of it getting messier are improving.

Since Stephanie March divorced Flay, he is now back on the market and since messy people attract other messy people, he is ALLEGEDLY dating Chelsea Handler.

I know. When this thing implodes — and it will because Flay ALLEGEDLY cannot keep it in his pants — there will be a Handler explosion so loud … and followed by a new Handler streaming special, Flaying Flay.

And speaking of messy relationships … Chris Brown and his baby mama, Nia Guzman, are battling it out again.

It all began when Nia announced that their daughter Royalty has asthma and then accused Chris of being the reason why. According to Nia, Chris Brown loves weed — You.Don’t.Say — and cigarettes more than their child and is constantly exposing her to second-hand smoke, so now she wants a judge to force Chris Brown to hire a nanny to take care of Royalty.

Of course, that’s not all Nia wants a judge to do; she is also, coincidentally, asking for more coins, and wants her child support raised from $2500 a month to $16,000 a month. And this isn't the first time Nia’s gone to court to use her child to score a payday; last summer she also argued for an increase of $12,500 a month but was dee-nied.

Chris, who wants to keep his coins for weed and smokes … ALLEGEDLY … released a statement of his own on Instagram, of course, which has since been yanked down, naturally, in which he says he quit smoking “cigarettes” on New Years, and that no one smokes around his daughter.

Notice he didn’t mention the weed? Uh huh.

I have some advice for Chris: lay off the weed and the smokes and get your life together because you have a child, a daughter, and do you want her growing up and ending up like you?

I also have advice for Nia: if you want more coins quit coming up with these sad sack requests; simply tell the judge that Royalty has Chris Brown for a father and the vault will open.

I’m not surprised that Taylor Swift has a private plane … she probably can’t poo on a commercial flight … but I am stunned to hear that she has two private planes … one for flying, and one that follows behind and lands whenever Tay Tay has to poo.

Or something. And I’m not surprised that she is ALLEGED to have outfitted her aircraft with cashmere seat covers and a massage table and a high-altitude attitude with lots of demands for the minions who cart her around … according to a source—and it could be Lohan who’s taken a job as a flight-attendant:

“Taylor seems to make demands just for the sake of it. She insists her napkins and forks are at perfect 90-degree angles, one inch from the plate. The staff will do everything they can to ensure they have the exact foods she’s requested, but then she’ll change her mind after takeoff and it’s too late.”

Unless that second plane following behind is also carrying some extra food in case Little Miss Sunshine opts for Chicken Fingers instead of Spaghetti-O’s.

I always assumed Beyoncé’s management team was a CIA Black-Ops group, or perhaps Seal Team Six who only spoke on burner phones from a dark alley in Calcutta, or surfaced on the Dark Net to communicate with Her majesty, but apparently not because Beyoncé has announced that she has fired her entire management team … all real people, all on the unemployment line now.

Beyoncé has given the boot to her manager of five years, Lee Anne Callahan-Longo, and moved on to someone called Steve Pamon; she even gave the heave-ho to her own cousin, AKA her Executive Weave-And-Wind-Machine-ologist, and to the team of eighty-five men and women who had one job and one job only: Photoshop her thighs.

Beyoncé basically cleaned house, got rid of her whole team, and hired fresh so she can surround herself with people who will take her to the next level … meaning fatter paychecks, bigger hair, smaller outfits, hurricane wind machines … bit no real new music or talent.

A newly-hired Beyoncé rep commented on Beyoncé’s mass firing:

“Some senior staffers were given the opportunity to reposition and stay on. Some members . . . awakened [to] new interests and decided to follow personal routes.”

Repositioned? Going from manager to nail girl?

And who was reawakened? The vampire who owns Beyoncé’s soul?

Minute Rave: Alec Mapa

Y’all remember the firestorm openly gay actor Russell Tovey created — at least in The Gay Community — when he said this:

“I feel like I could have been really effeminate, if I hadn’t gone to the school I went to. Where I felt like I had to toughen up. If I’d have been able to relax, prance around, sing in the street, I might be a different person now. I thank my dad for that, for not allowing me to go down that path,” 

Lotsa folks, myself included, saw this as a kind of self-loathing, and a putdown of gay men who may be effeminate, as though that makes them less, well, manly. But the best response ever to Tovey’s remarks came from actor-comedian Alec Mapa, a flamboyantly gay, out loud and proud actor you’ve no doubt seen on Desperate Housewives, Ugly Betty, Roseanne, Seinfeld and Friends.

Mapa isn’t one to shy away from his flamboyant persona, but detractors … and we’re kinda lookin’ at you, Russell … better not confuse that for any sort of weakness.  He spoke up on behalf of effeminate gay men in response to Tovey’s comments and here’s his entire Facebook post:’

“He’s glad he’s not effeminate?

Well the feeling is mutual lady, I’m glad I’m not you.

I kind of feel like this is why I do what I do. Why I’m not just a homo, but A BIG ONE. Being an effeminate gay man still remains an unforgivable sin in our masculinity obsessed culture. I think about all the young sissy boys who return from school after being bullied and shamed day after day, perhaps returning home to the same treatment. I know because I was one of those kids. Was? I still am! I still get it in the neck for being who I am.

I’ve spoken to so many non gender conforming youth who have the same recognizable look of despair on their faces. All they need to hear is that they’re fine exactly the way they are. That there’s nothing wrong. That they haven’t killed anyone. That they’re worthy of love and acceptance, AS IS.

Perhaps if they heard that they’d stand up for themselves. Perhaps if they heard that they wouldn’t be four times as likely to commit suicide than their straight peers. Perhaps if we were all encouraged to love ourselves from the beginning we wouldn’t grow up to be gay men who treat other gay men like shit.

I’m in no way outraged by this. I’ve been hearing this since the day I could mince. It’s just disappointing. We experience so much discrimination from the outside world, wouldn’t it be great if we were kinder to each other in our own community? There are a billion reasons to feel actual shame and remorse. Being your authentic, fabulous, faggy self shouldn’t be one of them.

Sincerely,

Alec Mapa

Professional Effeminate Homosexual for nearly 50 years.”

Brava, Alec, brava!

We’re all kinds of different people, and we should be made to feel any kind of shame from one of our own.

h/t Towleroad

I Didn't Say It ...

Russell Tovey, of HBO's Looking, expressing gratitude that his father helped steer him away from becoming too effeminate:

"I was so envious of everyone who went to Sylvia Young Theatre School. I wanted to go but my dad flat-out refused. He thought I’d become some tapdancing freak without qualifications. And he was right in a way. I’m glad I didn’t go. That might have changed…I feel like I could have been really effeminate, if I hadn’t gone to the school I went to. Where I felt like I had to toughen up. If I’d have been able to relax, prance around, sing in the street, I might be a different person now. I thank my dad for that, for not allowing me to go down that path. Because it’s probably given me the unique quality that people think I have.”

It's funny, because Carlos and I were watching The Amazing Race the other day, and they have two gay couples on; one is decidedly more effeminate than the other, but no less, or more, gay. And I remarked to Carlos how much I liked seeing these differences because it just shows that gay men come in all varieties and sizes and colors and natures.

It saddens me, then, that Tovey seems to want to diminish these effeminate gay men as somehow undesirable.

Russell Tovey, apologizing for his remarks:

"I'm saddened that a misfired inarticulate quote of mine has branded me 'worst gay ever'. If you feel I have personally let you down, I'm sorry, that was never my intention." 

Not the best at apologizing, Russell.
'If I feel like you let me down'? You did let us down, because why we might understand homophobia outside our community, it's hard to understand coming from one of our own.
You should have said, 'I'm sorry i offended you. I.Was.Wrong.'

James Van Der Beek, actor best known for Dawson's Creek, joining the NOH8 campaign:

"If you say you love this country for its freedoms, but want to deny gays the same freedoms you enjoy, you sound like a hypocrite. And – just to clarify – 'freedom' is having the right to live as you choose. It’s not the right to choose how everyone else lives." 

I never saw "The Creek," so I am not a JVDB fan, but, well, I may tune in the next time he's on TV after hearing him say this.

Eric Holder, US Attorney General, on marriage equality:

"Nothing justifies excluding same-sex couples from the institution of marriage. Denying them the right to marry serves only to demean them and their children, to degrade the dignity of their families and to deny them the full, free and equal participation in American life to which every citizen is entitled."

It really just comes down to treating everybody equally, no matter how different they might seem.

Zachary Quinto, on marriage:

“There are benefits to the institution of marriage. I personally am not a huge fanatic of marriage, whether it’s gay or straight. Commitment and relationships are a very individual thing, and I don’t stand to tell other people what to do or who to do it with, but for me, love is defined by two people in an intimate and personal way, and superimposing an institution on that isn’t necessarily for me, the most exciting idea.”

Here's the deal: no one is suggesting that simply because we have marriage equality nearly everywhere now, that gay people must get married;  It was never that we had to do it, it's that we weren’t allowed to do it if we wanted.

Quinto doesn't have to get married if, for him, that's something he doesn't want, but he should be the one to make that decision, not the government.

Ryan Murphy, Glee an American Horror Story creator, on Glee's LGBT legacy: 

"I have always believed in the ideology of one of my friends and idols, Norman Lear, that the way to acceptance is understanding. You have to see it, experience it in your own house and your life, to empathize. I think the success of Glee and Modern Family brought gay kids and gay families to millions of people who think they didn’t know those kinds of people, and then suddenly, within the course of one month, they did. To me, that is the great legacy of these shows and is why public opinion, I think, has changed so radically and so quickly."

You can say what you want about Glee overstaying its welcome, but you cannot deny that, through its storytelling, and openly gay characters, more and more people became aware of us, and of the fact that we aren't so very different or so very frightening.