Bobservations

So, as I mentioned earlier, we got iPhones and have joined many of you in the 21^st century. Carlos uses his quite a bit, for work, for calling Mexico; I use mine slightly more than I used my old phone.

Still … Carlos. When we were buying them, we told the salesperson about his vision issues and so on and she showed him things he can do, and use, on the phone to make things easier. She spent a great deal of time with Carlos, and me, and was very kind and funny, so I went on Google reviews and gave her a glowing report.

Then Carlos, deciding he doesn’t need to take things slow, even on a new phone that he doesn’t entirely know how to use, deleted several icons from the screen because he wanted to streamline the screen. But, he deleted the icon used to get on the internet and so back to the store we went. There were a few people ahead of us in line, so we stood and waited; the woman who helped us buying the phones, was at the counter and waved and said Hello, and I said:

“He’s already messed up his phone.”

She replied:

“Oh, nooooo.”

But then she fixed it and told him not to do that again. All was well until …

Carlos was reading an email and it was small and hard for him; so, I took the phone and enlarged the image so he could see it, but with it enlarged, he had to scroll back and forth,. So, I took the phone again and turned it sideways and the email flipped sideways and was easier to read. Carlos started at it in amazement and said:

“Ooooohhhhhhhhhhhhhh.”

My little man is growing up,

Tuxedo was especially glad to hear Biden’s news this week and is glad we might have a literate president for the first time in four years.

Speaking of Biden, and his selection of Kamala Harris as his running mate, did you know that in 2011 and again in 2013, _____ donated a total of $6,000 to Harris’ campaign for California attorney general. Ivanka, also gave Harris $2,000 in 2014.

Huh, a couple of years before running for office as a Republican these two hypocrites were supporting Democrats?

Shocking!

Well, he showed us that he can say five words … Person, Woman, Man, Camera, TV … but he cannot pronounce the name of a National Park in California. He called it:

“Yo, Semite.”

And then he called an entire nation:

“Thighland.”

Clearly he wasn’t thinking of a country but of one of his Russian hookers.

And the hits keep coming … after being called a racist because he went to celebrate the birth of a Klansman rather than pay his respects to John Lewis …and after he was forced to resign as pastor of his church for going to KlanKon, this week an arrest warrant was issued for GOP Alabama State Representative. Will Dismukes.

Dismukes is charged with first-degree theft of property from place of employment between the years 2016 to 2018. The charge is a Class B felony and levied when a person steals in excess of $2,500.

Sorry, not sorry, Will.

Liberty University’s Board of Trustees have asked the school’s president, Jerry Falwell Jr., to take an “indefinite [and extended] leave of absence” from his roles at the university, which include serving as president and chancellor. This comes days after Falwell Jr. posted, then deleted a photo of himself and a woman both in unzipped pants.

Bye Jerry, you religious hypocrite.

On the Good News side … after working nearly non-stop on this country’s response to the COVID-19 pandemic, everyday Dr. Anthony Fauci and his wife power-walk through their neighborhood.

And I imagine his sprits pick up while he walks because dozens of his neighbors have taken to posting signs in their yards that read:

“Thank you, Dr. Fauci.”

Yes, indeed, Thank you, Dr. Fauci.

I’ll apologize first for my childish need to go low but … this week it was announced that Chris Christie will be helping _____ with his debate prep.

What? Is there a doughnut eating section?

Again, I apologize.

And finally, Jay Gould, a little bit of a palate cleanser this week. What is it that I like about him … The sexy face; the baby blues; his fashion game and his underwear game. I like that he travels light; just the one back on the clothes on his …ass. His love for showering in leather, latex and sunglasses.

The fact that he looks good wet.

And finally, the idea that a little bit of Jack Daniels gets him out of his clothes, and that he needs the big bottle of Jack to hide his junk.

That’s all.

Bobservations

I have often said that when I have a cold or flu and take NyQuil, I have NyQuil dreams; vivid, bizarre make no sense dreams. Now, it’s been a loooong while since I’ve taken NyQuil but the other night I couldn’t sleep, and so the next night I fixed myself a cup of Green Tea with Agave to settle me down for a good night’s sleep.

Didn’t work. I woke up every twenty minutes or so and I had a dream that was all kinds of bizarre and seemed to stop when I awoke and resume when I dozed; it went like this …

I was a Congressman—I know, nightmare, right?—and I was looking to get out of office, mainly because there was snow on the Capitol roof and apparently it was my job to shovel it off, So, I figured I’d get a new job and began walking … into what looked like a State Fair, I saw my friend, Dillon, and told him I was looking for work, and he said he worked for a women who owned a farm, I said, “Do I look like a fucking farmer?”

But Dillon took me to meet his boss underneath a freeway, who told me she also owned a Mexican food truck. I said I could do that work, but she only needed someone to make Nacho cheese sauce; I said I could do so much more than that, and then my friend Mark, who is an amazing chef who owns Mägo in Oakland suddenly appears and said he wanted to make Nacho cheese sauce and so he got my job.

Someone mentioned a job fair and I began walking and walking and then found a huge group of people in line. One of the people was Carol Burnett, dressed as Miss Hannigan from Annie, with a gaggle of imps and orphans following her. I thought nothing of it. I also thought nothing of the two Lesbians walking in front of me who told me you had to be in costume at the job fair, and they had an extra Handmaid’s Tale look if I wanted; I politely refused and headed toward the men’s room, looking for a costume.

But all they had were white suits and :::gasp::: black shoes. And so, since I was desperate to get out of Congress and not have to clean snow off the Capitol, I began looking through the suits for my size. Trouble was, they were all David Byrne suits … 185-inch chest, 90 in the arms. Nothing my size, though everyone else seemed to find a suit.

I slipped into a changing room and tried on the smallest giant suit and was swimming in it, but still decided to go out …

I opened the door …

Donald _____...

I woke with a start and never went back to sleep again.

Tuxedo feels about the Occupant of the White House the same as his two Dads although he's slightly less profane 

…

Alabama state Congressman, Will Dismukes, who went to a Klan party rather than pay his respects to John Lewis, has stepped down as pastor of a Baptist church after the controversy.

God saw you, Will, and she was not happy.

Today in Stoopid … in 1985, _____ announced he’d struck oil on a vacant lot he owned on Manhattan’s Upper West Side, saying:

”Isn’t it amazing? It’s a classic major oil find in Manhattan.”

Not so fast, con man. What he found was actually spilled and leaked leftover oil because the property was once used to be a rail yard.  But still, _____ claimed he was already getting calls from Texan oil barons about his huge find.

“We could be pumping here for years.”

Or … take that dead muskrat off your head and soak up the leftovers. Ass.

Rightwingnut, Faux-Christian and Liberty University President Jerry Falwell Jr. posted—and then deleted—a bizarre Instagram post in which he appeared with his shirt hiked up and his pants unzipped, standing next to a woman identified as a “friend.”

No wonder he supports _____. Birds of a feather …

Last week David Nagy of Jefferson Texas died from COVID 19. His wife, Stacey, gave his obituary to the local paper, naming surviving family members and … about halfway down, they sent a message to both _____ and Texas GOP Governor Greg Abbott:

“Family members believe David’s death was needless. They blame his death and the deaths of all the other innocent people, on _____, Abbott and all the politicians who did not take this pandemic seriously and were more concerned with their popularity and votes than lives.”

Stacey then went after those anti-maskers, calling them “ignorant, self-centered and selfish people” who ignore medical professionals and instead believe that “their ‘right’ not to wear a mask was more important than killing innocent people.”

It’s not.

RIP David Nagy and know that a great many Americans hold _____ responsible for your death, and the other 158,000+.

My mother cooked dinner when we were kids. Every night. We didn’t go out to eat much, and rarely had fast food—which may explain why, to this day, I don’t eat fast food. Buy my favorite story about my mother’s cooking was really about my best friend Curtis’s mother’s, um, culinary stylings.

Once, spending the night at Curtis’ house, we were out in the backyard and his mother came to the window and asked what we wanted for dinner; she said something about spaghettis and we both yelled, “YES!”

Inside the house I watched Curtis’ mom make the dinner and the next day, when I got back home I raced into the kitchen to say to my mother:

“Mom? Mom? Mom? Guess what? They make spaghetti … in … a …can!”

My mother turned and smiled and said:

“Not in this house they don’t.”

The Racist-In-Chief sat down with Axios’ Jonathan Swan and said this about John Lewis:

Swan: How do you think history will remember John Lewis.

_____: I don’t know, I really don’t know. I don’t know, I don’t know John Lewis.  He chose not to come to my inauguration, He chose—I never met John Lewis, actually, I don’t believe.

Swan: Do you find John Lewis impressive?

_____: I can’t say one way or the other—I find a lot of people, impressive. I find many people not impressive, but, no, he didn’t come to my inauguration, He didn’t come to my State of the Union speeches, and that’s okay. That’s his right. And, again, nobody has done more for Black Americans than I have. He should’ve come. I think he made a big mistake. I think he should’ve come.

Swan: But taking your relationship out of it, do you find his story impressive—what’s he’s done for this country?

_____: He was a person who devoted  lot of energy and a lot of heart to Civil Rights. But there were many others, also.

This racist can fuck all the way off.

Michael Ferraro. Yum. Curly hair, hot body, loves posing in underwearand, well, getting handsy.

Did I say ‘yum’?

This is a cute little funny tweet, made all the better by the fact that the Tweeter is Kellyanne Conway’s daughter.

ISBL Asshat of the Week: Will Dismukes

Down there in Alabama, the Democratic Party, and some in the GOP, are calling for state Representative Will Dismukes to step down after he posted on social media that he had a “great time” honoring Confederate Army General and Ku Klux Klan leader Nathan Bedford Forrest over the weekend.

The very weekend John Lewis was being honored for his decades of service and his fight for Civil Rights following his death last week.

Dismukes posted on Facebook that he had a “great time” celebrating a Klan Leader’s birthday and said he was honored to give the invocation for the festivities:

“Always a great time and some sure good enough eating!!”

Dismukes is a chaplain for the Prattville Dragoons, a chapter of the Sons of the Confederacy whose Mission Statement reads:

“To you, Sons of Confederate Veterans, we will commit the vindication of the cause for which we fought. To your strength will be given the defense of the Confederate soldier’s good name, the guardianship of his history, the emulation of his virtues, the perpetuation of those principles which he loved and which you love also, and those ideals which made him glorious and which you also cherish.”

Dismukes took the post down by Monday and said that the photo and posting “was in no way glorifying the Klan or disrespecting” John Lewis” who was being celebrated in Alabama over the weekend.

Huh; two celebrations you can attend in Alabama as a representative of the people. One is the celebration of the birthday of a Klan leader and the other is a memorial to the life of a Civil Rights activist.

And Dismukes chose to celebrate a racist which makes him the ISBL Asshat of the Week.