Ain't That America XXXIII

War, child rape, drunken FBI directors, lying Attorney Generals, the wrong First Lady and the wrong President being called to Congress to testify about Jeffrey Epstein.

It’s been a helluva week …

The White House released a photo of Cankles and his regime monitoring the progress of the illegal attack on Iran from the “Flatulation Room “at Mar-Illegal.

Of course, he had a picture snapped because he wants to be Barack Obama and knows that will never happen:

Cankles then declared that “most evil” Khamenei was killed in the attack and rumors suggest schoolchildren were also killed but, hey, the five-time draft dodger got his photo op.

 

In a visit to central Wisconsin, Vice President JD Vance implored voters to not give power back to the “crazy” Democrats blaming hospital closures on “problems inherited from Biden.”

He failed to mention it was the massive Republican cuts to Medicaid funding that kept those hospitals afloat.

 

Transgender Kansans are being informed on the eve of a new state law going into effect that their driver’s licenses will be considered immediately invalid.

Why? Is there one person who can tell me why without resorting to the bible—lower case b—or some unnamed fear of trans people? Spare me the trans people rape children because it’s not them … it’s the priests, and ministers, and pastors, and rabbis in your places of worship who are fucking children.

Oh and it’s your president, too.

 

A federal judge reprimanded the Cankles regime for claiming that an immigrant seeking his release from custody was convicted for marijuana possession in 2009 … when he was 4 years old.

Government lawyers attached a document from ICEstapo that they “indicated” was related to his criminal history but West Virginia District Judge Irene Berger noted the “differences in birthdate, birthplace, parents’ names, and immigration status.”

You cannot make this shit up.

 

Border Czar and con artist Tom Homan tried to school Pope Leo XIV on Catholic teachings about immigration.

Homan prefaced his unsolicited theological lesson to the Pope by touting his credentials as a “life-long Catholic.”  He went on to attack Leo for criticizing the Cankles Regime’s mass deportation campaign, asserting that Leo failed to grasp Catholic doctrine.

Seriously?

 

It wasn’t just the blanket left behind on a plane that got Kristi DogKiller Noem so riled up that she fired the pilot. It was, according to three DHS insiders, another item left on that flight last spring: Noem’s bag. No one knows for certain what was inside the bag—or they aren’t saying—but it was enough to cause Border Barbie and her Bitch Boy Corey Lewandowski to go apeshit.

What was in the bag, Kristi, which had you and your married lover  Corey freaking out?

 

The New York Times reports that many documents released by the DOJ from its investigations into the convicted sex offender Jeffrey Epstein failed to include some key materials related to a woman who made an accusation against Cankles.

The materials are FBI memos summarizing interviews the bureau did in connection to claims made in 2019 by a woman who came forward after Epstein’s arrest to say she had been sexually assaulted by both Cankles and Epstein when she was a minor.

Hey Pammy? Does the DOW erase the rape of a child by your boss?

 

After the State of the Union speech where Cankles got into a shouting match with Representative Ilhan Omar, Rudy Giuliani attacks Omar for looking “too” Muslim:

“Muslims have a choice about how they how they dress. And you can look Muslim and look more American than that … You don’t come here to remain Somali. You don’t come here to remain Italian. You don’t come here to remain German. You don’t come here to remain whatever it is you were.”

I guess Rudy no longer identifies as Italian but does claim membership in the Ignorant Goosestepping Racist Fuck Regime.

Now, I need a palate cleanser and here’s a couple:

More ballots have been cast in Texas through the first seven days of early voting for the 2026 midterms than any recent midterm or presidential election year. That turnout is fueling optimism among Texas Democrats, who are once again trying to score their first election victory for a statewide office since 1994.

Over 650,000 votes were cast in-person and by mail in the Democratic primary, compared to about 590,000 cast in the Republican primary and we know that when Democrats vote, Democrats win.

Keep in mind that the GOP is running on the idea that only they can fix the problems in Texas but fail to mention that only they have been in power for the last twenty years.

 

Democratic Congressmen Ted Lieu and Dan Goldman demand that a special counsel be appointed to investigate Attorney General Pam Bondi after she ALLEGEDLY perjured herself during her Epstein testimony:

“Testifying before a House Judiciary Committee hearing on February 11, 2026, Attorney General Bondi emphatically stated, ‘There is no evidence that [Cankles] has committed a crime.’ Yet a number of the documents from the Epstein files released to date by the Department of Justice directly contradict her statement. [And] when confronted with her lie, she did not retract her statement, she doubled down. She stated, ‘Don’t you ever accuse me of committing a crime.’ We request that you immediately appoint a special counsel to investigate Attorney General Bondi for lying under oath. America cannot have a liar and a criminal as our top law enforcement officer."

The simple fact here is that Bondi lied under oath because there are mountains of evidence in the Epstein files alleging that Cankles committed numerous crimes like assault, sexual abuse, rape, and threatening victims.

Bondi knows that, and I hope one day she is imprisoned for her lies.

There we are, another week down and the GOP has taken us into an illegal war because a madman wants you to stop talking about how he fucked a child … the GOP question two people, one of whom isn’t in the files, about Epstein, because they cannot question their Cult Leader lest he call them names …

We have one way out: vote. Vote out the child rapists and the pedophile protectors and the transphobes and the warmongers who want to send your sons and daughters to war but not theirs, vote out the regime of middle-aged frat boys and drunken asshats and the women who allow a man to get away with raping women because the stock market went up.

Vote them ALL out …..

Meme Dump

Bobservations

We have this guy that I’ll call Paul—cuz that’s his name—who has done plumbing work on Casa Bob y Carlos over the years but he mostly came when I was at work so I only spoke to him over the phone.

This week he was out to check one of the burners on our gas stove that appeared clogged, and one of the racks in the dishwasher with a broken wheel … nothing major. And he came back this morning and I got to meet him and I noticed a few things …

He seemed to have no issue with the two queers in the household and was friendly and talkative and nice.

He gave us a No Charge for the stove and only charged for parts for the dishwasher.

He is quite a handsome fella and he’s got these gorgeous Paul Newman Blue eyes.

I could ogle him, if I chose, and I did, and chat with him, which I did, and Carlos doesn’t notice … though I did tell Carlos about his looks and those eyes and his nature.

So it’s all good between me and Carlos … and Blue Eyes … cuz Carlos knows the score.

This Tuxedo Memory is from April 2020 when we were all housebound …

“Tuxedo seems to relish the fact that Carlos and I are in lockdown because now he has company …”

I find it interesting with all that hair on the face and the chest and yet those cakes are smooth as a silky vanilla ganache. Go figure.

Federal Judge Lewis Liman has ordered Drunkle Rudy, AKA Rudy Giuliani, AKA The Felon’s attorney and former New York mayor, to turn over his Manhattan penthouse apartment to the control of Ruby Freeman and Shaye Moss, the Georgia election workers he defamed and to whom he now owes $150 million.

The judge says Drunkle Rudy must turn over his interest in the property in seven days, so Freeman and Moss can sell it, potentially for millions of dollars. The women are also entitled to about $2 million in legal fees Giuliani has said The Felon’s campaign still owes him.

Sorry, Rudy, not sorry.

I have begun to wonder if  Demented DonOLD  wears Depends because of “the enemy within”?

I will begin by saying I adore Jessica Chastain, but gurl, when she steps in it, she steps in it …

Chastain got dragged on social media after calling out JetBlue because their inflight entertainment was down during a recent trip; and even though she, like every other passenger on the flight, was offered a $15 credit for the inconvenience, she was not having it:

“Thank you @JetBlue for your $15.00 credit. My flight was $1,500 and the credit is 1/100 of the money I paid you. Strange that I paid that for your flight entertainment system that didn’t work for the duration of my 6hr flight, but I guess it was worth it for this $15 credit.”

When the airline informed her that everyone received the same $15 credit Chastain ratcheted up her ire:

“I understand but I spent $1500 on the flight and so did my husband. There should be some flight credit or something since I have a TrueBlue account and have been a loyal customer.”

And as happens, Xwitterers came for her:

“Jessica Chastain beefing with an airline publicly on twitter shows that no matter how much money you have you’ll never stop being a millennial,”

“Is 6 hours together that horrible that you lose it over not having movies to watch?”

“Jessica Chastain is whining about paying $1,500 for a Jet Blue flight and not having a working TV. The way you can be a millionaire but still be a broke bitch at heart.”

As one Twitterer said, Jessica should learn to read the room because then she wouldn’t spend her valuable time deleting all her self-entitled, broke-ass Tweets and texts.

That moment when I get to the cash register and the cashier says, “Will that be all?” and I say, “No, I’m gonna buy more stuff but I wanted to show you what I’d picked out so far.”

Lara, married to The Dumb One, appeared on The Breakfast Club as a surrogate for The Felon and was presented with a list of racist remarks and deeds of father-in-law:

Like when the Justice Department sued The Felon for denying apartments to  Black tenants and he was ordered to place ads in newspapers saying he accepted Black applicants.

Like when he took out ads in New York papers saying the Central Park Five—who were coerced into confessing to a crime—should be given the “DEATH PENALTY.” When their convictions were vacated in 2002, and after the city paid $41 million in 2014 to settle their civil rights lawsuit, The Felon continued to defame them.

And of course, there’s ‘birtherism’ and his questions about when Kamala turned Black and his lies about Haitian migrants in Ohio eating dogs and cats and how he demonizes minorities in every single one of his sparsely attended rallies. But apparently, that’s all news to Lara:

“I think that’s ridiculous. I’ve known this man for 16 years. You can go to each of those incidents. There was never any proof of anything with the houses … there was no admission of anything there. The Central Park Five, there were so many people. You had a Democrat governor, Democrat DA who prosecuted those guys, and they admitted to it. I’ve never seen this man say a racist thing.”

And that’s when host Charlemagne The God began to laugh, forcing Lara to mutter:

“Why’s that funny, Charlemagne?”

And he said:

“I think that’s hysterical. People act like there’s no such thing as Google, or we don’t have TV.”

Cuz all you gotta do is look and there he is spewing his racist bull shiz.

Zendaya giving us her best Cher as she inducted the icon into the Rock’n’roll Hall of Fame; it was like a two-fer.

Paul Forman is a 30-year-old English and French actor and model; he has been in the Amazon Prime series Riches, the Netflix series Emily in Paris, and the Paramount+ series Stags but the real issue is Would You Hit It?

The Funny Papers

Bill Day, George Danby, Deb Milbrath, Clay Bennett, Michael de Adder, David Horsey, Pedro X. Molina, JD Crowe, Jack Ohman, Nick Anderson, Ed Wexler, Ann Telnaes, Christopher Weyant, Dave Whamond,

Bobservations

We don’t use a lot of sugar at Casa Bob y Carlos … a wee bit in the tea pitcher, and maybe some when Carlos bakes, but that’s about it. I use Agave in my coffee each morning and we buy it at CostCo where you can get two jars cheaper than at the grocers.

Last week, we’d made plans to hit CostCo on Saturday, but then I ran out of Agave on Thursday and as the childish, er, child-like, one in the house I pitched a hissy. I grabbed the empty bottle and shouted:

“There’s no Agave! There’s no Agave!”

I tapped the table with the empty bottle repeating myself, and Carlos swiftly grabbed my hand and took the bottle:

“Stop acting like a child!”

He set the bottle on the table and I could see his mind working, knowing that it was still within my grasp, so he set it on the chair between us, and smiled.

Then I smiled. And lifted my foot and kicked the bottle onto the floor again because I am childish, er, child-like, and fun! Clearly Carlos had forgotten the Great Loaf of Bread Toss of 2019.

This Tuxedo [and MaxGoldberg] Memory is from March 2017 …

“Carlos dubs these photos as proof that Tuxedo and MaxGoldberg are homosexual cats. I think they just like to stay warm on cool mornings and Consuelo is not a snuggler.”

Not homosexuals, just two cats who loved each other very much.

Look, I know what they’re trying to say with this license plate, but it’s completely missing the mark and now a whole different crowd is following this car home.

Last week, in front of nearly 75 guests, two officials with Arizona’s attorney general’s office arrived at Rudy Giuliani’s 80th birthday bash in Palm Beach to hand him the papers in the case alleging he and 17 others participated in a plot to overturn the 2020 election.

Some partygoers started screaming and one woman even cried as Giuliani was served. And even #DrunkleRudy was unsure of what was happening and thought he was being given cocktail napkins.

Rumor has it … I adore Adele, but I digress … that the bigwigs at ABCNews are worried about their new reporter DeMarco Morgan, a gay man, and his Delightful Bulge on Morgan’s Instagram page.

Just a note … I don’t mind it at all and have written to ABC demanding that they let him do his reporting in his bike shorts … #PrecociousBulge.

Fox News’ Sean Hannity has a particular demand for how the upcoming CNN-hosted debate between President Biden and Hair Furor June should be handled:

Moderators shouldn’t be allowed to fact-check Hair Furor during answer blocks.

Hannity whines about the liberal media but what he’s really saying is that Hair Furor will lie and lie and lie and lie and lie and lie and lie and lie and should go unchecked.

Well, Sean, if you want him to lie openly have him appear on your show every day because that’s all you do.

Back near the end of the 20th Century , when Sex and The City premiered the show was as much about the fashion as the characters and the sex and the city. But clearly times have changed and Grandma SJP doesn’t really rock the avant-garde wardrobe any longer … which may explain this outfit that looks like she has a pillowcase on her head.

And do not get me started on the dress or the shoes!

Rightwingnut Sebastian Gorka stopped a press conference outside Hair Furor’s hush money trial to tell a reporter it was “pathetic” to suggest Inmate # P01135809 is part of the “ruling class” or “elite.”

The man who calls himself a billionaire, who lives in a penthouse with a golden toilet and has his own plane is not one of the “elite”?

Bitch, please.

Eian Scully has been a top fashion model and fitness trainer, both in and out of his clothes, for several years now, but only now has he joined the pages of … Would You hit It?