I Didn't Say It: The Lunatic Fringe Edition, But First ...

… the Official Presidential Portrait of Thing 45 … er, Mr-Former-Fake-One-Term-Twice-Impeached-Currently-Four-Time-Criminally-Indicted-Not-My-President-Gurl … hat tip to Randy Rainbow … er, INMATE # P01135809

Matt Walsh, Daily Wire host, whose fan murdered Laura Ann Carleton for displaying a rainbow flag, trying to compare drag to blackface:

“People are very offended by blackface these days because it’s a caricature. It’s degrading and everything else. But, of course, drag is woman face, and it’s every bit as degrading and every bit the caricature, and really even more so. Well, I’ll make it make sense for you. That’s because the guy in a dress is a million times more objectionable than blackface. You know—approximately. Really more than a million times. It’s infinite. And, in fact, it’s infinitely more degrading and offensive and also harmful for the culture.”

Funny he doesn’t explain how it’s harmful to the culture, but a man who rages against the LGBTQ+ community so hard that one of his ardent fans commits a murder, I would suggest, is the really harmful thing going on.

Oh, and Matt Walsh can shut the fuck up.

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Kevin Sorbo, actor … hold for laughter … saying he’s been blackballed from Hollywood for being a Christian conservative Thing 45 lover:

“It was sad to me, you know, my manager and agent for so many years said that we can’t get you jobs anymore, work with you because of you being a Christian, being a conservative. And I almost had to laugh at that because it’s an industry that screams for tolerance, and yet it’s a one-way street. It screams for freedom of speech. But Hollywood’s a one-way street as well. And that’s just too bad, you know. The truth is too difficult for some people to take.”

Give us one job you didn’t get; give us the name of one project you weren’t hired for because you’re a Christian or a rightwingnut.

Look in the mirror, Jerkules, you don’t get hired because you’re a talentless hack.

PS  a quick scan of his IMDb page shows that Sorbo has worked steadily the last few years so, for a Christian and conservative, he’s a liar … big surprise, eh?

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Liz Murrill, GOP candidate for Louisiana Attorney General, on pot ruining the world with its smell and, oh yeah, being laced with fentanyl:

“It just starts with pot. That’s why I’m not a fan of recreational use of pot. I think everywhere we go, we see these communities that are just being destroyed by the smell and it is bad. The people are sleeping on the streets. One thing leads to the other. It is not a great environment. If you go to Portland, you can’t even walk downtown. Go to Washington, D.C., walk around Vegas, it’s horrible. New Orleans is bad enough, and it’s really effectively legalized in New Orleans because nobody enforces the law. I’m not going to go into a hotel and the elevator smells no good for what it’s worth. The fact is that that also creates a great black market, and that’s what actually creates a great avenue for more fentanyl. And they do put fentanyl in pot a lot. It is also a problem, frankly, with abortion pills online.”

Oops, wait? Fentanyl is in pot and abortion pills? Someone needs to check her tinfoil hat …

PS Is it me, or does she seem to know all the best places to go for The Pot Smell™?

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Sarah Huckabee Sanders, seeking to deny the teaching of Black history in America:

“We’ve got to get back to the basics of teaching math, of teaching, reading, writing and American history. And we cannot perpetuate a lie to our students and push this propaganda leftist agenda, teaching our kids to hate America and hate one another. It’s one of the reasons that we put into law banning things like indoctrination and CRT [critical race theory]. We want our kids to receive a quality education, and we want to make sure that every student has access to it and a pathway to prosperity. And that’s exactly what we’re doing here in the state of Arkansas.”

Here's the real scoop on Aunt Lydia … teaching Black history is American History and it doesn’t make kids hate America.

It makes their racist parents and their racist GOP leaders scared that these kids will grow up to understand where our country has been,  and perhaps work to make it a better place for all Americans, not just the rich white racists.

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Candace Owens, speaking her usual self-loathing gibberish and transphobic nonsense:

“We are in a matriarchy. And this is why they accuse me of being an internalized misogynist because I’m able to think through and acknowledge the flaws of what happens in society when women get power. And if you wanna know what happens, look around you. Women fall for emotional arguments the entire time. They show us a commercial, it’s so sad, and before they get to the rational aspects of it, they’re already invested emotionally. And I think that virtually every societal ill that we are facing today is because of women. And I think the greatest recent example of that is the Bud Light controversy, because, I mean, trans people were just playing dress up as women, invaded every woman’s space, and women said, oh, but I feel bad. Because it’s how he identifies at the inside, without thinking through the fact that you’re quite literally disappearing yourselves. Right? You’re quite literally saying, I will cease existing before I let this grown man who’s wearing a wig have a bad feeling. That’s insane.”

We’re in a matriarchy? Has she seen Congress? Has she seen the white male faces in power?

And yet she claims to be the only woman who does see it because she is so smart, but then doesn’t that make her the root of all the evil in the world? A smart woman? Make it make sense. Are women in power or are women so meek and mild and confused by a transwoman that they will choose to become invisible.

Well, except for the self-proclaimed all-knowing Candy Ass.

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I Ain't One To Gossip But ...

It looks like The COVID-19 Break-up is still a thing; you know, where couples end their marriages and relationships because of lockdown and the idea that they really don’t care for each other. Or maybe the idea that you just want some other dick.

Last week Zoe Kravitz filed for divorce from Karl Glusman after four years together, and eighteen months married. They had a dream wedding in Paris, at her dad, Lenny Kravitz’, luxurious apartment and seemed like a lovely couple. But Zoe, like her mother Lisa Bonet, has that kind of wild-child, flower-child free-spirited thing going on and, well, yeah, maybe wanted another dick, because as soon as the split was announced came news that Zoe was having a thang with Channing Tatum.

To be fair, as soon as that story broke, both sides issued denials which, you know, means nothing. I was kinda hoping they would become a couple, oh not because I like Zoe, though I do, and not because I adore Channing’s exceptionally fine ass, though I do, but because of the holidays.

Picture it … Thanksgiving Dinner at Zoe’s … with Channing Tatum, Lenny Kravitz and Jason Momoa.

The thirst is real.

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More Hilarious Baldwin stories? Okay! She is the Christmas Gift that keeps on giving, and the latest present from this wacknut—who blames the media  for her fake Spanish accent—is about the time Hilaria Hillary was confused about how to write her own name on a tax document.

You see, when it was time to put her Juanita Hancock on her 2009 W-4 document, Hilaria Hillary—who had spent 10 years pretending to be a Spanish-speaking native of Mallorca—wrote down two names, crossed them out, and finally wrote “Hillary L. Hayward-Thomas.”

The document is real, and is an exhibit in an old lawsuit against her Yoga Vida studio, and funnily enough, the court records also contain the code of conduct for the Hilarious’ studio instructors about honesty:

“Truth is defined to be when thoughts and words correspond directly to facts.”

Who wrote that? Hilaria or Hillary?

To be fair, she had to sign the document ‘Hillary’ because that is her real name and if she’d signed Hilaria, she would have been committing perjury,

It’s Hilarious. And kinda sad.

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Rumors are flying …again …  that Kim Kardastrophe West and Kanye Kardastrophe West are “essentially over” and living separate lives in California and Wyoming, and …

Oh, who really cares? This was a match made in media-whore heaven and we all knew it wouldn’t last.

PS Kimmy’s still wearing her wedding ring because she’s probably saving the announcement for a Very Special Keeping Up With The Kardastrophes. I mean, it’ll be good for ratings, right?

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It’s been a  rough week for Meghan “My Father is John” McCain. It was her first week back at The View after having  a baby and she was smacked down twice by Joy Behar and Whoopi Goldberg.

On Day One of The Return, Meghan got pissy with Joy’s opinion, and began interrupting her, as usual. Joy, who was talking about GOP infighting, was not having it, and after Meghan shrieked about there being as much fighting within the Democratic party, she added:

“Joy, you missed me so much when I was on maternity leave. You missed fighting with me.” 

And Joy snapped back:

“I did not. I did not miss you. Zero.”

Meghan began pouting about Joy being nasty because she was just teasing, but we all know Meghan doesn’t tease; she has the sense of humor of _____.

Then, on Day Three of The Return, when The View started and the hosts were onscreen at the same time, Meghan glared at the camera, unsmiling and bitter like a Republican just realizing that they lost the White House, the House, the Senate, and any semblance of being a viable national political party.

And when newly elected Democratic Senator from Georgia, Raphael Warnock, was on to discuss his historic—and Jon Ossoff’s historic—win, Meghan, like a Rabid ReTHUG with a bone, kept asking Warnock if he would join Democratic Joe Manchin in rejecting a bunch of progressive political actions … like a better minimum wage, or a Green New Deal … climate change. But Warnock wasn’t having Meghan’s childishness and simply responded that he would work for the people of Georgia on healthcare and a living wage, and so Meghan kept repeating and repeating and repeating and repeating and repeating her question until Whoopi was done; she clapped her hands and shouted:

“HEY! Listen! We are going to say thanks to the Senator-elect Reverend Raphael Warnock.”

To be fair, this was the day after Meghan was pushing traitorous Senator Josh Hawley, who would, later in the day, be an inciter of the chaos at the Capitol, and be seen outside the building raising a fist in the air to the protesters, as the best GOP candidate for president in 2024.

Joy clapped at her,

Whoopi smacked her down.

She promoted a traitor for president,

Not a good first week, eh?

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Speaking of Rightwingnuts, howsabout 90s TV Hercules, Kevin Sorbo?

Sorbo is a very vocal _____ supporter, and, of course, a COVID denier, and is now one of the lunatics who swears that the mob who stormed the Capito;, after leaving _____;s Insurrection Rally moments earlier, were, in fact, not _____ supporters, but left-wing “Antifa” members in right-wing MAGAt cosplay, attempting to instigate violence and make _____’s supporters look bad… like that’s possible.

That theory has been dispelled because most of those MAGAt idiots were dumb enough to post repeatedly on Facebook about the protest and the riot and where to meet up to discuss who got to wear what costumes. Still, Sorbo took to Twitter to say:

“ANTIFA led the charge into the capitol building dressed as Trump supporters. To all the people who actually believe that it was Trump supporters who started the riot today: Where was antifa and BLM to counter? They show up to every single event, so why not this one?”

Well, antifa and BLM knew to stay away because they knew what a shitshow this would be. But still, Kevin persisted, and so it took Xena: Princess Warrior AKA Lucy Lawless, to put Hercules in his place by Tweeting:

“No, Peanut. They are not Patriots. They are your flying monkeys, homegrown terrorists, QAnon actors. They are the douchebags that go out and do the evil bidding of people like you who like to wind them up like toys and let them do their worst.”

Yes, Xena took down Hercules, though it wasn’t a fair fight really, because how can Sorbo use a sword with one hand whilst keeping a tinfoil hat on his head at the same time?

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