Meme Dump

Why Is It ...

… that the people who demand you say, ‘Merry Christmas,’ instead of ‘Happy Holidays’ the same people who worship the guy whose Christmas wish was ‘Rot in hell’?

… that a lot of attractive people suddenly become unappealing when you find out how they think?

… that whenever a Southerner tells me that it’s not ‘soda,’ it’s ‘pop,’ I always feel the need to ask them how many times they go to a bar and order ‘vodka and pop’?

… that sometimes when I can’t explain what I’m feeling I can find a song that can?

… that sometimes I’ll say ‘I don’t care’ about a proposition and then talk to myself about it for three days?

… that I wish people would be more grateful that I am not as disrespectful as I can be?

… that pickles are fantastic until you’re in one?

… that when someone tells me I’m cute, I think, ‘I’m feral and chaotic, so don’t touch me’?

… that I still don’t know what I’m wearing to the living room for New Year’s Eve so I might not even go?

What To Wear On New Year's Eve ...

 I can't decide between caftan ... in case I eat too much Kale-and-Black-Eyed-Pea soup that I'm making as a traditional Southern New Year's Eve 'Good Luck' meal, or ... a simple leather jacket and hoop skirt, without the skirt.

Oy! What A Year We Had ... 2014

Lots on my mind as we wind down another year …

I keep thinking about Leelah Alcorn, the transgender girl who killed herself because her parents told her she was wrong, and a sin, and an abomination … and that since God doesn’t make mistakes, she must have been mentally ill to think she as transgender.

Too bad they couldn’t have thought, “God doesn’t makes mistakes so She sent us a transgender child to open our eyes and the eyes of the world.” Maybe then Leelah wouldn’t have walked in front of that truck.

I think about all those LGBTQ kids who felt they could no longer go on this year because of being bullied by friend, fellow students, teachers and their own parents. Think of what any of those kids might have accomplished if we all just learned to accept people for who they are, and not what we think they should be.

My sister died this year … I remember one of the last times I talked with her, about a month or so before she passed. She didn’t seem to know who I was, didn’t even ask about Carlos — which she always did — and just talked about what was on the TV screen she was watching. I realized then that the sister I’d loved my whole life was leaving me. I realized then that things would never be the same.

I still called and still talked and made sure that, even if she didn’t quite understand, the last words she heard from me were, “I love you.”

I also realized then that when she did go, on February 15, she was in a much better place, and didn’t hurt, and had her hair, and was laughing with my Mom. It’s not a God thing, it’s a universe thing.

I’m a happily married man, to another happily married man. 

When I met Carlos I never thought this was a possibility … even after Massachusetts and Iowa … even after California. Then the tide started turning and we started talking about it; we both wanted to be married, we both wanted to have a husband. We wanted that. And then to have my Dad ask to be there, well, that was the icing on the wedding cake, with the added cherry of having marriage equality come to South Carolina … South FREAKING Carolina … after we got back from Washington.

Amazeballs.

We used to shop at Kroger until we learned that Kroger has a ‘Meh’ attitude about Open Carry in their stores; I’d always said that if the day came when I had to ask someone to move their assault weapon so I could get a loaf of bread, it was time to shop elsewhere.

So we did; we went back to Publix — where we shopped when we lived in Miami — and now Publix is in the news. But for a good reason: starting tomorrow, Publix stores will offer full benefits packages to their employees’ same-sex spouses.

Guns. Equality. I choose equality.

Of course, when you factor in that kid who shot his mother with her own gun in a Wal-Mart, Kroger should be prepared for that to happen in one of their stores.

Lotsa coming out parties this year, too, and lots of Coming Out Toaster Ovens and copies of The Gay Agenda—a one page pamphlet, actually, featuring one word: “equability”—being sent out from HOMO HQ.

Michael Martin took his boyfriend to prom and came out at the same time. Daniel Franzese, who played the  'almost to gay to function' in Mean Girls is now openly gay; as is Derrick Gordon, a sophomore starter for the University of Massachusetts men's basketball team; Ty Herndon and Billy Gilman, two country music stars … yes, country music … decided to live their lives as gay men out and proud. 

Nate Alfson, a high school, baseball and volleyball coach for a Catholic high school came out as gay and kept his job!

Chip Sarafin, an offensive lineman for the Arizona State football, came out, as did John Fennell, who represented Canada in the luge at the 2014 Winter Olympics in Sochi. 

British singer Sam Smith came out with the release of his debut album, In the Lonely Hour, saying the album “is about a guy that I fell in love with last year, and he didn’t love me back.” Tyler Glenn, the lead singer of Neon Trees and a Mormon, also came out; Mitch Eby, a Junior and defensive end for the Chapman University Football team, too.

Federico Díaz, Uruguayan actor and telenovela heartthrob, is now openly gay, along with high school swimming star, Jack Thorne, and Pete Cahall, principal of Washington DC’s Wilson High School who chose the school’s annual Pride Day event to finally tell his students that he is gay. Adam Joseph, Philadelphia meteorologist for 6ABC, announced the birth of his first child, publicly, acknowledged his partner of five years, Karl, and came out as gay.

Brad Thorson, a former college football player and former player for the Arizona Cardinals and Neal Baer, the executive producer and showrunner for CBS' 'Under the Dome' are out and proud; and after years of speculation, rumor, questions, guesses, dreams, Olympic swimmer Ian Thorpe came out as gay.

Kristian Nairn, an actor from Game of Thrones, came out, and so did Democratic Arizona State Senator Steve Gallardo, after listening to the arguments for that Arizona anti-LGBT, so-called religious freedom bill;  Matt Kaplon, student and baseball player for Drew University, came out to his team and the world last weekend after being inspired by the coming out story of NCAA basketball player Derek Schell; Brazilian diver, and Olympic hopeful, Ian Matos came out as gay, saying he was inspired by fellow diver Tom Daley’s coming out.

Djuan Trent, Miss Kentucky 2010, came out as lesbian on the heels of that federal judge ruling that Kentucky must recognize same-sex marriages from other states. Marcus Juhlin, a Swedish football player, is gay; so is actress Ellen Page and retired Premier League footballer Thomas Hitzlsperger.

Callan Chythlook-Sifsof, a U.S. snowboarder who missed the cut for Team USA, has come out as lesbian, and Michael Sam said he was gay, making him the first openly gay professional football player in this country.

We’ll be restocking the shelves with kitchen appliances and pamphlets as soon as possibly, because after last year we made need even more!

Politics. 

You cannot keep Obama down; even after that ridiculous 2104 mid-term election fiasco, he is not gonna  sit idly by and let the Republicans run roughshod over this country and try to turn back the clocks to the 1950s, when The Gays were in closets, and women couldn’t chose and racism was fun.

Gossip. I do so loves me some gossip. Paltrow? Loathe you, but you keep me in stitches with your shenanigans. 

Lohan actually made her stage debut and, while the reviews weren’t great, she wasn’t a major screw up … onstage. Off-stage she’s still Party Hardy Lohan. 

And Justin Bieber … I’ve made fun of your size … I’ve called you a talentless hack and a spoiled brat … I giggled when you wet yourself after getting arrested …, I found you obnoxious and ridiculous and just plain sad … That’s all.

Police shootings. And most of the victims are Black. Please try to tell me there isn’t a double standard when Michael Brown, a Black man, gets gunned down in the streets for allegedly stealing some cigars and Eric Garner, a Black man, gets choked to death for selling loose cigarettes, but Julia Shield, a White woman, strapped on armor and drove around a Chattanooga neighborhood shooting at people and police, and was just arrested. 

Explain to me the difference between John Crawford III, a Black man, holding a BB gun in a Wal-Mart and is shot to death by police, but two white men who go into a Wal-Mart, take BB guns off the shelves, load them and then start shooting are simply arrested.

There should be no difference, yet because there seems to be one, we have a lot to talk about in 2015.

It’s been a year of ups and downs, and highs and lows, but, for me, the ups and the highs outweigh the rest. I’m still here, still loved and in love, still Dad to some weird wild wacky pets. Still living in Small-town South Carolina. Okay … that might be a down.

I kid.

Tomorrow, we are off to the Round-The-Way-Gays, Neal and David’s, New Years Day, Newlyweds — three couples in our little group got married last year — and Not-So-Newly-Born Party. It’ll start 2015 just right!

Random Musings

Blogging this week — until today — has been kind of scattershot.

I had Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday off — you gotta love holidays — and had several things planned, but as happens, life happens and then …

Without warning on Monday morning we lost our AT&T U-verse; no TV, no landlines, no internet. What was I to do? Was I suddenly a Pilgrim? Abe Lincoln reading by candlelight?

Okay, I overdramatize, but it was a pain. Couldn’t blog, email, Facebook, watch my stories, catch up on my Housewives, talk to anyone — until I got my much underused cell-phone from the car. Seriously, it felt like I was living in the 1800s. But at least we had electricity ….

Until Tuesday morning when the power went out for a couple of hours. I called Carlos — on the cellphone because AT&T wasn’t fixing my U-verse — to demand to know whether he’d paid the bills; I was only joking, somewhat.

Luckily the power came back on, and about 4PM the U-verse righted itself so I could watch Kathy Griffin and Husband-In-My-Head Randy Andy Cooper ring in the New Year.

Oh, and with Carlos, too, and a lovely bottle of Proseco.

Last Sunday we went out to see American Hustle. Great movie. Christian Bale — my gorgeous Christian Bale — totally lost in prosthetics and bad comb-over, was hilarious; as was a ditzy Jennifer Lawrence. But I ain’t Rex Reed so that’s all the review you get; I’m here to talk movie etiquette.

It was still part of the Christmas holiday, so it was crowded even though we arrived kinda early. We found our seats, back row, at the top and sat down and watched as the room started to fill up. In front of me was an empty seat, a guy, his girlfriend, whom I will forever call Skinny Bitch, and two more empty seats. Up the aisles walk two women, one I would call average size and one I would call very plus-sized. They took the two empties next to Skinny Bitch, who then elbowed her boyfriend, or whatever, and said very loudly, ‘Move down one I don’t wanna sit by that.’

I was too stunned to even respond; I’d never ….

Then, we had two folks, a guy and a girl, come squeeze in next to Carlos right before the show started. One of the first scenes is of Christian Bale working that comb-over. It was really funny, but the guy next to Carlos could.not.stop.laughing as if it was the funniest thing he’d ever seen.in.his.whole.life. Then, to make matters worse, between the two of them, they got up and down about four times during the movie and, when seated, loved to comment on what was happening onscreen.

Lastly, there was an empty seat next to me, then a single guy, and then an empty seat. About two minutes in to the movie, a guy comes up the stairs and says to Single Guy, ‘I have three to see the movie. We’ll take the seat [next to Skinny Bitch] but can I ask you to move over one so the other two can sit together?’

Single Guy: ‘I’m kinda watching the movie.’

I was waiting for guns to be pulled and was thinking how to use Skinny Bitch or Obnoxious Couple as a human shield.

So, everybody from The Advocate to Time magazine dubbed Pope Frankie as person of the year as part of the Cat5holic Church’s new ‘movement’ to be more progressive toward The Gays, right?

Yeah, not so much. Turns out Pope Frankie openly encouraged Bishop Charles Scicluna of Malta to condemn … condemn … adoption of children by same-sex couples in his Christmas sermon.  Scicluna met Frankie on December 12: “We discussed many aspects… and when I raised the issue that’s worrying me as a bishop [the right for gay couples to adopt] he encouraged me to speak out."

And Pope Frankie was said to be "shocked" to learn that Malta's proposed Civil Union bill allows gay couples the right to adopt children.

Of course, this is nothing new, back in Argentina, Pope Frankie, then-Cardinal Bergoglio, proudly condemned same-sex couples adopting children, and called same-sex marriage “diabolically inspired.”

Person of the Year? As I’ve said, ‘Hardly.’

The Boy Scouts of America began admitting openly gay scouts as of yesterday, January 1st. 

Under the new membership policy, young gay bots can no longer be barred from the Cub Scouts, Boy Scouts or coed Venturers program, though they still face some limitations:

There will be no Cub Scout sex, of the gay or straight variety, and no scout may use scouting to “promote or advance any social or political position or agenda, including on the matter of sexual orientation" such as, scouts cannot wear their uniforms and march in Pride Parades.

Still, it’s a step ….

And of course, the BSA still does not allow openly gay Scout Leaders.

Apparently, back in the day, 1993 to be exact, the Houston Oilers, now known as the Tennessee Titans, had a tumultuous year but a new documentary says that one thing that caused no problems for the team was the presence of two gay players in the locker-room whom most, if not all, of the team knew to be gay. 

Via The Houston Chronicle:

“Listen, those guys that we’re talking about were unbelievable teammates. And if you wanted to go to war with someone, you would get those guys first. Because I have never seen tougher guys than those guys,” said Pro Bowl linebacker Lamar Lathon, who starred at the University of Houston. “And everybody in the locker room, the consensus knew or had an idea that things were not exactly right. But guess what? When they strapped the pads on and got on the field, man, we were going to war with these guys because they were unbelievable.”

[...]

“Everybody knew certain guys (were gay). Everybody speculated and people used to see these two guys come in by themselves. They’d leave at lunchtime and then come back,” Bubba McDowell said.

McDowell echoed Lathon’s thoughts, saying the gay players were highly valued on the field and showering with them in the locker room was “no big deal.”

Too bad no big deal in the showers didn’t transcend to no big deal off the field.

So, the Rose Parade, and the Big Gay Float where an actual :::gasp:::: same-sex marriage was to be performed during the parade.

Lotsa wingnuts were up in arms, demanding that the show not be aired, demanding that no footage of The Gay Float — like there’s one gay float in a parade — not be shown, and even asking members of the crowd to ‘Boo’ as the float and wedding passed by.

Well, I’m here to tell you that none of that happened, and, in fact, The Gay Float won the Rose Parade Award for "Color And Color Harmony"

Of course it did. During the 30 seconds that the float was onscreen, the two grooms atop the wedding cake waved, beamed, held hands, and generally seemed to be having a wonderful time.

And I’ll give props to parade host Al Roker, who announced: "A sincere shout-out to the newlyweds and the happy couples on the float."

Way to start a New Year.

Speaking of New Year, we had a mellow one. We stayed in yesterday; I made Ham and Potato Salad and Carlos made a Plum Pudding, er, Raisin Pudding, er, cake, er, something; it was very good, and quite the process, but I’m here to talk about Seven Psychopaths.

That was a movie we watched. It was some kind of comedy about a Hollywood screenwriter, a mob boss, a kidnapped dog, and, well, yes, seven psychopaths.

It starred Colin Farrell and my only thought about the movie was this — which I said so often Carlos almost banished me from the room:

Colin Farrell is the most gorgeous looking man I’ve ever seen.

Truly, he was is hot.

I don’t usually comment on the Tweet of the Week, but this one, from our own South Carolina Governor Nikki Haley fried my nerves.

Santa brings guns, real guns, to people, according to Nikki. And he brings guns if you’re good.

The Spirit of Christmas in the Haley household obviously smells like gunpowder, I’m guessing.

Ring Out The Old .....

Here's yet another year falling by the wayside--I mean, c'mon, Two-Thousand-Thirteen--and yet I haven't aged a bit.
How.Do.I.Manage? You ask.
Well, I act like a child and folks think I'm eons younger. 
I'm fascinated by shiny things.

I love finding something new, like Ozzo, on a walk through the park yesterday, coming upon his first ducks. I imagine him saying to himself, because he only knows felines and canines, How do cats swim like that?

I have someone in my life who makes me laugh and makes me cry and makes me mad and makes me sing--and then begs me to stop. Twelve-plus years ago I took a giant leap, flying cross-country to meet a stranger, the perfect stranger, and it's one of those rare choices that has never been questioned.

I found a couch I love and now I must find a way to make Carlos love it, too.

I wake up with songs, full on songs, blaring in my head every morning. 

I laugh. A lot. And, at times, inappropriately. I have a tendency to say exactly what comes into my mind no matter who's around. I guess that might go back to that whole "childishness" thing I mentioned earlier.

I can get lost in a good book, and really love staying there.

I live in a beautiful place, full of some of the kindest people, and best friends, I've ever met.

And these guys, and that gal.....and a little something called unconditional love. We could learn a lot about that from our four-legged friends.

And family. The logical family we create from friends we've found along the way that will always be a part of our lives, and the biological family into which we are born, and raised and loved and nurtured and accepted.

So, keeping all this in mind, what do I expect the New Year to have in store for me?
Hopefully, more of the same.
Happy New Year, y'all.

Happy 2012

Lotsa folks singin' the Auld Lang Syne right about now, but this song, is a better New Year's tunes for me.
Eva Cassidy, What A Wonderful World:

Just For Giggles: My New Years Eve Toast

Funny Link