Why Is It ...

… that most all of my friends know that if we’re in a crowd of people and I say, “since we’re being funny,” it’s time to take me out of the room.

… that people have forgotten that oldest of Commandments ‘Know thy lane and stayeth in it.”

… that I am the friend you can cancel on at the last minute? Is it because I wasn’t going anyway?

… that sometimes I tell people “I hope the rest of your day is as pleasant as you are” and watch their face while they try to figure out if it was a compliment or not.

… that every so often I head up to IKEA to see if they can help me assemble the fucking will to live.

… that no one realzies that calling someone a dildo is a perfectly acceptable insult; you could call them a dick, but they aren’t real enough.

… that even I know I should be ashamed of my attitude; to be clear, I’m not, but I should be.

… that people need to learn if they press their bottom lip to their top lip, they can actually shut the fuck up; go on, try it, I’ll wait.

 … that no one sees that introverts don’t get FOMO; we get FOBI … fear of being included.

… that people don’t realize I am an anti-stalker. I’m learning someone’s routine so I can avoid them.

… that no one gets that I will cook rice one grain at a time before I worry about someone not talking to me.

The Funny Papers

Mike Luckovich, Joe Heller, Mike Thompson, Gary Huck, Lalo Alcaraz, Bill Bramhall, Steve Breen, Nick Anderson, Ed Wexler, Matt Wuerker, Dennis Goris, Clay Bennett, Pat Bagley, Bill Day

The Funny Papers

Clay Bennett, David Horsey, Darrin Bell, John Buss, Lalo Alcaraz, Christopher Weyant, Adam Zyglis, Deb Milbrath, Drew Sheneman, Wes Rowell, Mike Luckovich,

The Funny Papers

JD Crowe, Drew Sheneman, Ann Telnaes, Phil Hands, Barry Blitt, Gary Huck, Adam Zyglis, RJ Matson, Bill Bramhall, David Horsey, Nick Anderson, Mike Luckovich, Guy Parsons, Clay Bennett

Random Musings

Well, well, well … Monica Lewinsky has crawled out of the slime once again, now that Hillary’s in the news, too. It seems every time Hillary Clinton runs for office, Lewinsky trots out her ‘Woe is me’ tales from the 1990s.

That is so last century.

“Oh, poor me, I f**ked a married man that I knew was married.”

“Oh poor me, I f**ked the President.”

“Oh poor me, I showed him my underwear. I am such an innocent and he took advantage of me.”

Siddown Monica, your story is ridiculous and old and you are not a victim. And if you ever seriously thought the President of the United Sates would leave his wife for you, please remember one thing:

You are not Olivia Pope.

[photo source] 

Same-sex couples in Nebraska, however, are being victimized, now that the state Attorney General's office is objecting to a new effort by The American Civil Liberties Union of Nebraska to have both same-sex spouses listed as parents on their children's birth certificates.

The ACLU has asked a judge to order state officials to list both spouses on birth certificates, saying that the Nebraska Department of Health and Human Services has refused to provide married gay couples with birth certificates for their children on the same conditions as married straight couples.

The battle is not over … the march goes on.

[photo source]

On the flip side, by a 9-2 vote, the Anchorage Assembly voted to make it illegal in the city to discriminate over sexual orientation or gender identity, making this new ordinance the first of its kind in Alaska.

Huh ... maybe now Mama Grizzly Bore can see equality from her house, too.

[photo source]

I once had long hair, luxuriously long curly hair. And I wore it in a variety of way. Loose and flowing; in a pony tail; or maybe just the top in a pony, and the rest flowing loose and lovely.

I was too early for the man bun, and, well, now, even though my hair is shorter, it’s still luxurious and lovely and perhaps ready for the newest trend: the man braid.

I need to find someone to do this for me …

[Man Bun, Man Braid]

So Kim Davis, criminal, met with Pope Frankie while he was here, but the Vatican, and Frankie, tried to keep it on the Down Low. But since Kim doesn’t know when to keep her mouth closed, she broke the story and at first the Vatican neither confirmed nor denied the story; then they opted not to deny it, and now they’re just plain saying it happened.

That’s Pope Frankie. A secret meeting with a woman who swore to God to uphold the laws of this country and when she decides she doesn’t like the laws, opts outbreak them in the name of God.

And Frankie thought this deserved a meeting, albeit a meeting in private. He’s as much a hypocrite and a coward as every other homophobe in the world, only he has a better stylist.

Sidenote: Is it me or do they look a little Separated At Birth? Or maybe it's the idea that all bigots look alike, slack jawed and vacant eyes ....

[photo source] 

With the new television season starting there are all kinds of good shows and bad shows, and trash shows, to watch, and some have some delicious man candy, like …

Hot Brit Lucien Laviscount  on Scream Queens, which is a hot mess, sometimes very funny trainwreck of a show, but, yeah, Lucien.

Oh, and they have one Diego Boneta on the show, too.

Then we have Chace Crawford, with eyelashes for days, playing rough and tumble wannabe oil barren on Blood and Oil. It’s soapy and sappy, but, hey, he takes his shirt off, so there’s that, too.

Then we have Hot Daddy James Brolin, playing it for giggles on Life In Pieces. He seems to be having fun playing the patriarch of the family, and I do love a silver fox, you know.

[LucienLaviscount, Diego Boneta, Chace Crawford, James Brolin] 

And finally, on the flip side of Man’s Law versus so-called God’s law argument … the Oklahoma Capitol Preservation Commission has agreed to comply with that state’s Supreme Court’s order to remove a Ten Commandments monument from the grounds of the state capitol.

The court’s deadline to remove the monument is October 11th and the state says it will be gone by then.

Good.Bye.

[photo source]

UPDATE: Oklahoma’s Asshat Governor, Mary Fallin, Says The Ten Commandments Will Stay

Overruling the state’s Supreme Court, Teabagger darling and rightwingnut, Oklahoma Governor, and Republican of course, Mary Fallin will not removed the Ten Commandments statue from the statehouse grounds.

“Oklahoma is a state where we respect the rule of law, and we will not ignore the state courts or their decisions. However, we are also a state with three co-equal branches of government.” — Mary Fallin

Co-equal, unless the Supreme Court follows the letter of the state Constitution, then Marry Fallin does whatever the hell she wants to do while crying Jesus and Bible and God.

See, the courts made it very clear in their ruling, calling the statue “obviously” religious and noting that the state constitution specifically prohibits state funds or property … like the statehouse grounds … from used “for the benefit, or support of any sect, church, denomination, or system of religion, or for the use, benefit, or support of any priest, preacher, minister, or other religious teacher or dignitary, or sectarian institution as such.”

That would seem to include the statue, Mary.

The American Civil Liberties Union of Oklahoma:

“We along with no doubt a large number of Oklahomans were astonished at the governor’s reaction and the statement today pretending that she has the authority to enforce the laws of some hypothetical future instead of enforcing the laws as they are today. Governors do not get a blank check to make up the laws as they see fit. That’s not the way that our democracy works and the governor’s statement is unprecedented.”

So it appears the case will go on appeal, and that the state Supreme Court will hear it again — the case has already dragged on more than two years through the courts; and the process of changing the state constitution could take well over another year.

In the meantime, Mary, say Hello to the satanic statue that was scheduled for the statehouse grounds, and then scuttled after last week’s ruling. And, while you’re at it, make way for the Torah and the Quran and any other religious icon that a subset of Oklahomans will demand be displayed on government property, because you cannot say 'No' to a bunch of religions and faiths and beliefs after saying 'Yes' to the one you like.

Washington Post

Oklahoma Supremes Order Ten Commandments Monument Off State Property

And … cue more cries of the ALLEGED “War on Christianity.”

It is written — by the state’s Supreme Court — that the Ten Commandments statue sitting on state property at the Oklahoman state capitol violates the state’s constitution and must be removed; like a bad flag, I’d say.

The statue — a six-feet-tall and three-feet-wide slab of stone that’s shaped vaguely like two tablets from a history book — has stood on capitol grounds since 2012; it was, however, briefly destroyed and then reinstalled in 2014.

The Oklahoma court  handed down a clear yet concise ruling that the Ten Commandments is “obviously” a religious document, and the state constitution prohibits any public property from being used to support a specific religion. ‘Nuff said. I mean, it doesn’t get any clearer, right?

Statue defenders argue that, and wait for it, it’s rich, Texas allows a Ten Commandments statue, and that the Oklahoma monument was placed on the capitol grounds as “historical context,” given the influence the Ten Commandments had on the formation of American law.

Uh huh. Nice try. But seven of the court’s nine justices said their opinion “rests solely on the Oklahoma constitution with no regard for federal jurisprudence.”

Bruce Prescott, an ordained Baptist minister of all things, and one of the plaintiffs in the case against the statue, said that the statue gives the impression that the state endorses Christianity as an official religion:

“I’m not opposed to Ten Commandment monuments; I’m opposed to them on government property. How do you take a covenant between God and his people and make it a secular monument?”

That from a Baptist, though Prescott says Baptists have historically defended the separation of church and state, and have insisted that religious texts continue to be interpreted in a religious context.

Oklahoma’s Attorney General Scott Pruitt, however, says the court “got it wrong”:

“The court completely ignored the profound historical impact of the Ten Commandments on the foundation of Western law.”

Pruitt’s office will file a petition calling for a stay of the court’s order and noted that because of the court’s interpretation of the section of the state constitution, it might be “necessary to repeal it.”

Now he’s gonna start repealing the state Constitution over a religious text? Surely anyone with half a brain, and even some Republicans, can see that is a clear violation of Separation of Church and State.

Of course, this is also bad news for the Satanic Temple and a Hindu group, who each planned their own statues for placement on the capitol grounds.

Look, let me make this queer, about flags and religious text:

You can have your Confederate flag. You can wave it, pray to it, fly it above your trailer, bumpersticker it to your pickup, wear it on a hat, a shirt, a pair of pants, or even tramp stamp it to your lower back, but do not ask that it fly above government property.

As for the Ten Commandments? You can have a copy; you can pray to it, erect it in front of your trailer, bumpersticker it to your pickup, wear it on a hat, a shirt, a pair of pants, or even tramp stamp it to your lower back, but do not ask that it sit on government property.

Everybody get that?

No one is saying you can’t be religious; they’re just saying it doesn’t belong on a government property. And no one is saying you can fly a racist, bigoted, hateful flag, Nazi or Confederate; you just can’t do it at the state house.

M’kay?

Washington Post

Photo Source