I Ain't One To Gossip But ...

Well, Nicholas Cage, never a man of good, sound judgement—check out his IMDb page for proof—apparently married his girlfriend of, well, either one year or three years, depending on whom you ask. See, Cage and Erika Koike, the long-term, short-term girlfriend, made it official by getting married at the Bellagio in Las Vegas last weekend, but not without some drama … before and after.

According to multiple eyewitnesses, Cage and Erika’s journey to the altar started out rough with Nic, drunk and belligerent, screaming that Erika’s boyfriend … wait, what … was a drug dealer and insisting that he “wasn’t going to do it” while waiting inside the Clark County Marriage License Bureau.

But they persisted. Cage was filmed slowly walking behind his girlfriend-fiancé-wife, hands on his hips, muttering to himself.  A bystander says the couple filled out the marriage application in one of the machines—Hey, it’s Vegas baby—and the entire time Cage was yelling:

“She is going to take all my money.”

“Her ex is a druggy, her ex is a druggy.”

The future Mrs. Cage was also muttering:

“Baby I am not asking you to do this.”

And because they were loud and obnoxious, the couple was given a private room to finish their paperwork before leaving the courthouse as husband and wife! So ... congratulations to the couple, who’ve been together one or three years, except …

Four days later Nicholas Cage filed for an annulment because he wants to be 2019s Britney Spears. In his papers Cage says he was, ahem, “too drunk” to get married:

“[Erika] suggested to [Cage] that they should marry, [Cage] reacted on impulse and without the ability to recognize or understand the full impact of his actions.”

He didn’t understand? This was his fourth marriage! It should have been as easy as putting on your shoes. But then there’s the part of the papers where Cage claims his wife-not-wife is a fraud, who did not him know “the full nature and extent of her relationship with another person” and that she also has a criminal history she didn’t tell him about. Cage also says that the two have “such conflict in personalities and dispositions that are so deep as to render the two incompatible in marriage.”

And yet a few beers in and he’s racing to a Vegas courthouse?

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Last week we talked about how thirsty Mel B told Piers Morgan that she and former bandmate Ginger Spice, AKA Geri Halliwell, had hooked up and gone down there.

Well, this week, Ginger/Geri is not having it and she sent out a statement that the whole lesbian romp Mel B drooled about was a lie.

And now folks are spilling more tea; if fact, though I really know this for a fact because it’s about the Spice Girls and I’ve never heard a Spice Girls song, rumor has it that Mel and Geri had more than a hookup back in the day, and actually lived together in what was ALLEGEDLY a full-on year-long lesbian relationship.

And when that story resurfaced, suddenly Mel B was a’scurred for telling the tale and tried to quash it—though I kinda doubt that because Mel B is all about getting her name in the press—but it was too late. And now, cut to a pissed off Geri:

“It has been very disappointing to read about all these rumors again, especially on Mother’s Day of all days. Geri loves the Spice Girls: Emma, Melanie, Melanie and Victoria [Beckham]. She would like [the fans] to know that what has been reported recently is simply not true and has been very hurtful to her family. Moving forward, Geri can’t wait to see the girls and all the fans on the tour, have an amazing time with everyone, and make some new memories.”

Isn’t it nice how she tries to quash the rumor while still promoting the upcoming tour?

Sounds like Mel B and Geri cooked this whole thing up to earn a bit more free press for their lack of careers.

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I love a good real housewives spat and it doesn’t more real, and perhaps less housewife, than a spat between the former Real Housewives of DC, Nancy Reagan and Barbara Bush.

Apparently the late former First Ladies were anything but friends and never really hid their distaste for one another but, from beyond the grave, as it were, it looks like Barbara Bush may be getting in the last dig.

A new book is out about Mrs. Bush and it reveals why she thought Nancy hated her so much – including the time Nancy kicked her off the guest list to a dinner with Princess Diana! Yup, Susan Page’s new biography, The Matriarch, goes into detail about how Nancy made a point of making sure George H.W. Bush and Barbara were NOT allowed to that fancy-ass 1985 dinner for Princess Di and Prince Charles where John Travolta twirled her around the White House ballroom. And apparently Barbara Bush told Page, before her death:

“She hated us. I don’t know why, but she really hated us.”

The Charles and Diana dinner was a hot ticket in DC and protocol suggested that the Vice President and Second Lady be there, but Nancy personally took both their names off two separate guest lists before eventually moving them to a “suggested additions” list where they would get an invitation if, say, I couldn’t attend.

Yes, they were that far down the list. So far down that it was obvious Nancy hated them, and so far down that people tried to step in and get Nancy to pony up an invitation. Even deputy White House chief of staff Michael Deaver cautioned Nancy against excluding the Bush’s from the dinner, saying it would be a breach of protocol and she shrilled:

“Just watch me.”

Like a true housewife.

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Apparently, R&B singer August Alsina has released a new song about an affair he had with a woman and lotsa folks are guessing who she might be.

Well, here’s the tea … it’s Jada Pinkett Smith … ALLEGEDLY. For years the rumor mill has said that Jada’s marriage to Will Smith is open and swinging and anything goes. And now August released a cover of singer Kehlani‘s song, “Nunya,” where he talks about a former sidepiece who is missing out on all the hot stuff he has to offer, saying:

“Putting on a show

‘Cause you don’t want the world to know

That you lost a man who loved you all along

I gave you time to make me a priority

Put my feelings out there

You ignored it

Ain’t nunya business to know who I’m with."

Sure, that could be any woman, but the accompanying video features a text conversation with someone named Koren, and when one connects the dots one finds that Jada’s middle name is, yup, Koren. And, in the video August sends a GIF of Jada Pinkett Smith to the person in the text chat. And, August was on Jada’s Facebook talk show Red Table Talk where he talked about struggling with addiction and how the Smith family helped him during his struggles.

Do the math, Koren. Gif. Chat show. Help.

All equals affair … ALLEGEDLY.

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Gosh, right on the heels of trying to get yet another reboot of 90210 off the ground, only to have Luke Perry up and die, come new troubles for “actress” Tori Spelling.

Tori has been having trouble paying her bills for a long time now, and has been sued by a number of institutions like American Express and the Council for Bad Actresses Still trying to Sell Themselves to TV, and now it’s City National Bank coming after her. Spelling owed City National a shiz ton of money for years, and was supposed to have it paid off but, surprise, she has not.

But she didn’t, and now the California court system has issued a bench warrant for her arrest for not showing up to court. Tori was due in court on March 29 but didn’t show up and hasn’t finished paying off a $400,000 she and husband, serial adultery Dean McDermott took out in 2016. In 2017 the court sided with City Bank because the couple failed to reach a deadline of responding to the bank’s allegations and there was a default judgment against the couple of deadbeats.

And for most of us, having a court tell you to pay your debts would be enough for you to start sharing some coins, but not Tori and Dean. Instead of showing up to court she was in Tel Aviv to work with TV friend/co-star/has been Jennie Garth promote a children’s clothing line.

Now, Tori owes more than $260,000 to City Bank, which is a lot more than the almost $190,000 she owed before and that lead to the bench warrant and a new court date of May 1st.

Tori’s bail—if she can buy a ticker home—is set at $5,000. Hopefully she won’t try to take a loan out to pay it.

Hey, maybe she can reboot 90210?

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Tuesday Thought #1

The Funny Papers

Bill Day, Steve Benson, David Fitzsimmons, Drew Sheneman, David Horsey, Joe Heller, RJ Matson, Nate Beeler, Clay Bennett, Darrin Bell

I Didn't Say It........

Sophia Bush, actress, on marriage equality:
"When we’re talking about the ’60s, when my best friend couldn’t drink out of the same water fountain as I can because his skin is a different color than me … now, you’re talking about a different best friend of mine who can’t get married even though I could get married seven times in my life and he can’t do that because he is a different sexual orientation than me?! That’s absolutely a civil rights issue."

Putting it bluntly.
No matter what anyone says about special rights or traditional or religion, marriage equality is a Civil Rights issue.
Civil Rights ain't just an African American thing.

Colin Farrell, on the bullying of LGBT youth in Ireland:
"If there was one great wish I have for my country--for a land that I love and a people I so revere, it would be that school bullying were a thing of our past. So much has befallen us in our shared history as a people. The harshest of these times have threatened to take our dignity, or scald our hearts into closing. Most of our great trials, from soiled land to the institutionalized abuse of trust and power, were inflicted upon us, whether by nature or the power corrupt. Now with bullying, there is a clear choice and the choice is ours. Each individual, as a member of his and her community, must Stand Up! In the face of this appalling brutality that plagues our schools. In effect, bullying is no less than the systematic doling out of pain upon the innocent. It is literally laughing in the face of somebody as they fall into increasingly grave danger. It's not my place to draw parallels, but we have had enough of such hardships. The world has. Whether it be the attacking of Gay students, which I witnessed first hand happening to my own brother, or students who are in the minority as a result of race or religious beliefs or any other such characteristic that separates them from 'the norm', it is all wrong and has no place in a just and compassionate country such as I know Ireland to be.  We have always been praised as being the friendliest and most welcoming race in the world.  My wish is for us to prove it daily, in the school yards and playgrounds across this Great Land of Ours."

Hot. Sexy. Compassionate.
'Nuff said.

Leonard Pitts, Jr., on Dalan Wells and Brandon Morgan's Marine homecoming photo: 
"Or, as Fleetwood Mac once put it, 'yesterday's gone, yesterday's gone.' And the sooner the Grand Old Party concedes that and stops pandering to the bitterness and fear of dead-enders and hard-liners still desperately clinging to the broken remains of Beaver Cleaver's white picket fence, the better off we all will be."

The past is past.
It's time to realize that times changes, and time to realize that we all must change.
Or be left behind, wondering....

Chris Gregoire, Washington governor, on how President Obama was her inspiration for Washington marriage equality:
"I think we probably have succeeded as much as we have because of his leadership. He's used the bully pulpit. He's been the inspiration that allowed the state of Washington to recognize that we need to have equality. It's because of what he's been able to do that I actually think in large part we were able to achieve what we did. So I don't criticize. To the contrary, I thank the president for his leadership on GLBT issues."

He's still evolving, yes, while Chris Gregoire has already evolved.
Hopefully, now, Christine Gregoire will become an inspiration for President Obama in the fight for full marriage equality nationwide.

George Clooney, on how he feels about the rumors that he is gay:
"I think it’s funny, but the last thing you’ll ever see me do is jump up and down, saying, 'These are lies!' That would be unfair and unkind to my good friends in the gay community. I’m not going to let anyone make it seem like being gay is a bad thing. My private life is private, and I’m very happy in it. Who does it hurt if someone thinks I’m gay? I’ll be long dead and there will still be people who say I was gay. I don’t give a shit."

Seriously.
We need more heterosexual allies to stand up like Clooney and shout from the rooftops that gay isn't bad.
We say it enough, but we need some straight people to echo the sentiment.

Ken Mehlman, former RNC Chair and, formerly closeted gay man, apologizing for the harming the LGBT community in his position as W's campaign manager:
“At a personal level, I wish I had spoken out against the effort. As I’ve been involved in the fight for marriage equality, one of the things I’ve learned is how many people were harmed by the campaigns in which I was involved. I apologize to them and tell them I am sorry. While there have been recent victories, this could still be a long struggle in which there will be setbacks, and I’ll do my part to be helpful.”

I've said it before, the most dangerous foe the LGBT community has to face isn't the religious right, or the Conservatives. It's closeted gay men and women in positions of power, who are so self-loathing that they work against us just to prove how "not gay" they think they are.

Kirk Cameron, on the media firestorm that occurred since his remarks to Piers Morgan over that homosexuality is "unnatural...detrimental" and "ultimately destructive to so many of the foundations of civilization.”:
"I spoke as honestly as I could, but some people believe my responses were not loving toward those in the gay community. That is not true. I can assuredly say that it’s my life’s mission to love all people. I should be able to express moral views on social issues, especially those that have been the underpinning of Western civilization for 2,000 years — without being slandered, accused of hate speech, and told from those who preach ‘tolerance’ that I need to either bend my beliefs to their moral standards or be silent when I’m in the public square. I believe we need to learn how to debate these things with greater love and respect....I’ve been encouraged by the support of many friends (including gay friends, incidentally).”

Here's my take, like it or not.
He has the right to his opinion, whether it's based on ALLEGEDLY self-loathing, or based on his limited world-view and narrow religious belief.
He has the right to his opinion and the right to say it.
Juts as I have the right to say Kirk Cameron is a delusional self-loathing closeted homosexual religious wingnut,
Oh, and Kirk? You don't have any gay friends, because if you did, you'd be parading them around.

George Clooney, again, on marriage equality:
"It’s always been this albatross that stood out to me as the final leg of the civil rights movement. It really came to a head during the 2004 elections, when it was used as a wedge issue, and it was a very effective tool to keep the Republicans in office and to avoid talking about other issues. Well before Prop. 8, I’ve made the point that every time we’ve stood against equality, we’ve been on the wrong side of history. It’s the same kind of argument they made when they didn’t want blacks to serve in the military, or when they didn’t want blacks to marry whites. One day the marriage equality fight will look as archaic as George Wallace standing on the University of Alabama steps keeping James Hood from attending college because he was black. People will be embarrassed to have been on the wrong side. So it’s encouraging to know that this too will seem like such a silly argument to our next generation."

People will be saying, in ten, twenty years time, 'Why were we so against this?'
'What was the big deal?'
History has proved this already, many times, with every single march by any group towards equality.

Linda Harvey, on how same-sex marriage "destroys" opposite-sex marriage:
"The question is sometimes asked, how would same-sex marriage harm your marriage? There are several simple answers. One, it changes what is considered normal and legal throughout our culture and therefore what is taught and modeled to our children and grandchildren. Do we want little Morgan in second grade to learn that when she grows up she might marry a boy or might marry a girl and either one is perfectly fine and she won’t know until she’s older which she prefers, but that’s OK. Do you think Morgan will develop with a secure and stable idea about her identity as a girl and woman with this shaky and morally irrational guidance? No wonder our kids are anxious, stressed out and feel they have nothing to believe in sometimes, they are being told what they can see themselves is foolishness and being told to swallow these lies and stay quiet if you don’t agree."

What is considered 'normal' varies from house to house.
A single-parent house may seem abnormal to a kid with two parents. A gay parent household is different from a straight parent household. Different isn't necessarily bad.
As for Little Morgan, you cannot teach gay; you can teach what it means to be gay, but you cannot teach someone to be gay.
Born that way, remember? And if Little Morgan is told that whomever she chooses to love, and to marry, is perfectly all right, then Little Morgan will grow up to be perfectly well-balanced, open, and tolerant of everyone.
And that's what scares people like Linda Harvey so much.

Barbara Bush, on the GOP primary season: 
"I think [the 2012 presidential campaign] been the worst campaign I've ever seen in my life. I hate that people think compromise is a dirty word. It's not a dirty word. ... I think the rest of the world is looking at us these days and saying, 'What are you doing?'"

I agree, to a point.
The rest of the world isn't looking at all of us. They're just looking at the GOP and wondering what the hell is going on.

Michele Bachmann, pandering and fear-mongering on Glenn Beck's radio show:
"Kathleen Sebelius, the Health and Human Services secretary, she said that it's important that we have contraceptives because that prevents pregnancy, and pregnancy is more expensive to the federal government. Going with that logic, according to our own Health and Human Services secretary, it isn't farfetched to think that the president of the United States could say, we need to save healthcare expenses, the federal government will only pay for one baby to be born in the hospital per family, or two babies to be born per family. That could happen. You think it couldn't?"

Yes, Michele, the President will soon be telling people how many babies to have, and of which gender.
That line forms right next to the one for the Death Panels.
Sit down, Michele, your stupid is showing again.

Jon Hamm, on fame and famewhores:
"Whether it's Paris Hilton or Kim Kardashian or whoever, stupidity is certainly celebrated. Being a fucking idiot is a valuable commodity in this culture because you're rewarded significantly."

I.Love.Jon.Hamm.
That's all.
Oh...and Kim Kardashian responded to this, with, "So?"
Well, maybe not exactly, but that's what it amounted to.

Blake Shelton, on his "bromance" with fellow Voice judge Adam Levine:
"All I have to say is, it's true: I have a man crush on Adam. It blows me away people can pick up on that just by watching that on television. I want to kiss him. I want to kiss him so bad. I don't care if it's mutual or not. Can you honestly tell me that you don't have a little bit of a crush on Adam? He's sexy, is the word I'm using."

When i first read this, I thought it was a typical, yee-haw, good old boy, joke at the expense of the gay community. I thought Shelton would be mincing and making faces and laughing while he said this.
Wrong.
I searched out the YouTube video and he says this plainly and simply. No joke. No denigration, No shame.
I've never really cared for Blake Shelton. I may have to rethink.

Bits'n'Pieces

Ru Is Maad At Glaad

It seems that Logo shows, RuPaul's Drag Race and The A-List were omitted from the GLAAD [Gay and Lesbian Alliance Against Defamation] Media Award nominations for Outstanding Reality Program, and this, um, oversight has the drag diva and the A-listers up in arms.
Now, I can see the Drag Race being in there, but the A-List? Honey? No. No.

And there are conflicting reports as to why both highly popular Logo shows didn't get a nomination. it's one of two things: GLAAD doesn't think either show offers a true representation of the LGBT community--Hell A-List, I'm talking to you--or that Logo didn’t submit the shows for nominations.

Another Republican Offspring Comes Out For Marriage Equality

Isn't it funny that most Republicans are against marriage equality and yet, nearly every day it seems, one of their children comes out in favor of it?
The times they are a'changing.
Now, the daughter of the, and I use the term loosely, Republican president who endorsed passage of a constitutional amendment banning gay marriage has spoken out in support of marriage equality.

"I am Barbara Bush, and I am a New Yorker for marriage equality," announced  the 29-year-old daughter of President George W. Bush said in a video for the Human Rights Campaign. "New York is about fairness and equality. And everyone should have the right to marry the person that they love."
Now, Barbara Bush, and her mother, Laura, have spoken out in favor of equality. Laura said, on Larry King Live, “When couples are committed to each other and love each other” they should have “the same sort of rights that everyone has.”
Now, if they can just get W to admit he fucked that whole thing up.

Illinois Is Now Home To Civil Unions

Illinois Governor, Pat Quinn, signed civil union legislation yesterday, giving gay and lesbian couples most of the state-level rights and responsibilities of marriage. as he signed the new law Quinn said, “We’re a government of the people, by the people, for the people, and it shall not perish from the earth.”
This is a big step in some ways, and yet just another battle in others.
Civil unions will not give gay and lesbian couples all the state rights afforded heterosexual couples, and gives them none of the federal rights afforded heterosexual marriages.
And, I worry that when LGBT Illinois pushes for marriage equality, if the right wing won't fight back with the argument that the LGBT community asked for civil unions, got them, and now they want to change it up again.
It's nice to have that recognition, but I hold out hope that, one day, we have all the same recognitions, everywhere, as heterosexual couples.

Stupid Republican...I know, It Is Redundant

Bobby Franklin, a Republican in Georgia's House of Representatives, has introduced a bill to eliminate driver's licenses, arguing that the documents are an unnecessary infringement on personal freedom.

Oh yes he did.
He said, "One of your inalienable rights is the right to travel, the right to move about without needing your papers. You shouldn't have to have permission from the state to exercise a right that has been inalienably given to you from your creator."
The right to drive a car is a gift from god.
Oh yes he did.
And when asked by a local news affiliate how we will "keep with who’s who and who’s on the roads and who’s not supposed to be on the roads” Franklin responded with, "Why do you need to know who’s who?”
And don't even ask him what will happen when driver's licenses are a thing of the past about keeping twelve-year-olds from driving because he says they do it now anyway.
Seriously, Georgia, do you need another fucktard in government?

More Asshattery Of The Mouth

We've all heard the news about the tragic earthquake, and aftershocks, in Italy. And those of us in the US remember with great fondness the tragic mishandling of the after-effects of Hurricane Katrina, so it came as now surprise to me to read this quote from Italian Prime Minister Silvio Berlusconi speaking about the 17,000 Italians left homeless by Monday’s earthquake:

“They have medicaments. They have hot food. They have shelter for the night. Of course, their current lodgings are a bit temporary. But they should see it like a weekend of camping."

So, cruising the web this morning I came across other Let-Them-Eat-Cake statements form the past, or, as i like to call them, Asshattery of the Mouth. Let's begin:

Barbara Bush suggesting that Hurricane Katrina refugees would enjoy living in the Houston Astrodome: “So many of the people in the arena here, you know, were underprivileged anyway, so this—this [chuckles] is working very well for them.”

Tom DeLay to a group of evacuees after Hurricane Katrina: “Now, tell me the truth, boys, is this kind of fun?”

Sharon Stone after the Chinese earthquake: "Then all this earthquake and all this stuff happened, and I thought, is that karma? When you’re not nice, that the bad things happen to you?"

Charles Locke, CEO of the aerospace company Morton-Thiokol, the maker of the faulty rocket boosters on the Space Shuttle Challenger, which exploded in midair in 1986: "This shuttle thing will cost us ten cents a share this year."

Donald Rumsfeld on the looting that followed the American invasion of Iraq: “Stuff happens.”