Why Is It ...

… that I always regret making a good first impression because there is no way I can keep that shiz up.

… that I don’t make the same mistake twice but I can make it 5 or 6 or 40 times just to be sure.

… that I remember the time when I thought a new hip joint meant someplace I wanted to go on a Friday night.

… that people don’t understand that I find out about everything … I even know Victoria’s Secret.

... that when my boss asked why I was late I said, “I cut someone off and they told me to go to Hell. At first I couldn’t find it, but now I’m here.’

… that even though some things are better left unsaid, I have a habit of saying them

…. that I will burn bridges while I’m still standing on them just so people know I am serious about my crazy.

… that I don’t mind coming in to work but waiting eight hours to go home is bull shiz

… that I bought a co-worker a Get Better Soon card and she didn’t like it. I mean, she’s not sick, I just think she could do better.

… that there are many times I am in mid-conversation with someone and will say, “Look, I don’t care.”

… when I shut down, I shut down for real … like McDonalds ice cream machine real.

Vacation: Meme Dump ... Just For Fun

Political Bites

Oy, what a legal team he has that cannot go a couple of sentences without misspelling a word …like ‘united’ as in ‘United States of America’.

Fingers crossed this is true …House Minority Speaker Kevin “FlipFlop Like A Just Caught Fish On A Dock” McCarthy ALLEGEDLY gave QAnon nutbag Marjorie Traitor Greene a few options if she wanted to keep her committee positions; she could:

A] denounce QAnon and apologize publicly for espousing hurtful conspiracy theories and endorsing violence on Democrats;

2] remove herself from the panel to spare her colleagues a vote on the matter;

C] face removal from her own GOP peers.

But it appears Marj chose none of those option, so McCarthy called a late-night meeting with the panel that designates committee assignments to discuss removing Greene.

I offered a different option:

4] be dragged by her hair out of the building and thrown down the Capitol steps into a waiting paddy wagon and carted off to jail for inciting an insurrection.

But that’s just me.

The upside of Green staying in Congress is that the House has passed new rules to issue a $5,000 fine to lawmakers who refuse to go through the metal detectors installed outside of the Congressional chamber; a second refusal will result in a $10,000 fine.

A third refusal will result in being dragged out of Congress by their hair and thrown down the Capitol steps into a waiting paddy wagon and carted off to jail for inciting an insurrection.

Again, just me.

From the Joe Has Zero Fucks To Give File:

Defense Secretary Lloyd Austin has suspended the work of dozens of Pentagon advisory boards and asked hundreds of appointees of the former president to step down in effort to counteract a flurry of appointments that took place in the last administration’s final, desperate days.

Bye minions.

I guess Racist is the new Republican, at least in the case of House Minority Whip—and perhaps he should be whipped—Steve Scalise, who spewed this lie:

“President Biden’s plan to vaccinate illegal immigrants ahead of Americans who are currently being denied the COVID-19 vaccine is a slap in the face to millions of hard-working families who have been waiting months for the vaccine and expect Washington leaders to be looking out for them.”

Two things, Steve, you dumbest of dumb fucks: what about your colleagues and cronies who rushed to the front of the vaccine line, ahead of essential workers like doctors and nurses while you said nary a word.

No, no, that wasn’t a question.

And what about the fact that the Department of Homeland Security issued a statement Monday “all individuals, regardless of immigration status” to receive a COVID-19 vaccine once eligible.

As in, when it’s their turn, ‘cuz Steve, you racist pandering insurrection-inciting traitorous fuckmonkey, the Homeland Security statement did not call for undocumented immigrants to be vaccinated ahead of U.S. citizens.

Siddown Karen.

Hell Hath No Fury Like Miss Lindsey In A Snit … GOP cheerleader and lapdog of the former administration, Miss Lindsey Graham has once again obstructed the Senate confirmation of Merrick Garland, this time to be President Biden’s Attorney General.

Lady G will be able to exert her Panties In A Snit control over the new nomination even though the GOP no longer controls the chamber because party leaders have yet to finalize an organizing resolution that will determine the committees for the upper chamber. As such, Graham still chairs the Senate Judiciary Committee while Democratic Senator Dick Durbin is the committee's incoming chair.

Durbin sent a letter to Graham stating, "there is simply no justification for delaying Judge Garland's hearing any further" and called for a hearing on February 8.

Graham rejected the request and actually uttered the phrase that the Democrats wanted to "rush through Judge Garland's hearing" while the impeachment trial "requires the Senate's complete focus."

Kinda like when Miss Lindsey, wearing her newest cotillion dress rushed through the nomination of Amy Coney Barret while avoiding tackling COVID-19 relief.

Miss Lindsey can:

A} fuck all the way off;

2] be dragged by her hair out of the building and thrown down the Capitol steps into a waiting paddy wagon and carted off to jail for inciting an insurrection.

Again, me.

Bobservations

The other night, sitting around chatting, I was waiting for Carlos to finish his story, so I could tell him that I wanted to go see The Favorite this weekend. Imagine my surprise when, as I was thinking this in my head, Carlos said…

“There’s a movie called The Favorite that I would like to see …”

“STOP IT!!!”

“Stop what?”

“I was gonna tell you about The Favorite! Stop reading my mind! Stay outta my head.”

And he smiled and said …

“I wasn’t reading your mind, I was hacking your brain.”

Then he began laughing about collusion and now I’m terrified.

A group of journalists whose work has landed them in jail—or cost them their lives—have been named TIME’s Person of the Year for 2018:

“Like all human gifts, courage comes to us at varying levels and at varying moments. This year we are recognizing four journalists and one news organization who have paid a terrible price to seize the challenge of this moment: Jamal Khashoggi, Maria Ressa, Wa Lone and Kyaw Soe Oo and the Capital Gazette of Annapolis, Md.”

Yes, _____’s Enemy of the People are TIME’s Person of the Year.

He must be fuming since he was overlooked in favor of the press, but I’m loving it.

On the heels of her Oval Office standoff with _____, House Minority Leader, and soon to be Speaker, Nancy Pelosi questioned the president’s manhood, calling the border wall a matter of masculine pride:

“It’s like a manhood thing for him. As if manhood could ever be associated with him. This wall thing.”

Later that night, Stephen Colbert took it a step further, saying that, since the wall is about his manhood:

“No wonder he can’t get it erected.”

Boom!

As an officiant of same-sex weddings, Sara Cunningham has been to so many ceremonies in which couples’ parents refused to attend because Gay, and so she decided to try something new.

She took to Facebook to offer her services as a stand in for the biological mothers of couples who did not want to go to their children’s wedding:

“PSA. If you need a mom to attend your same sex wedding because your biological mom won’t. Call me. I’m there. I’ll be your biggest fan. I’ll even bring the bubbles.”

Cunningham has already stood in for mothers who won’t several times this year, with plans for more next year. And, even better, there are other mothers out there who want to join her in her project.

Good on her!

_____ claims no collusion between Russia and his campaign and yet now we know that at least sixteen members of his cabal have ties to Putin and his regime.

Yup, nothing to see here.

Prepare to boycott … Walgreens calls itself the friendly neighborhood drugstore, giving flu shots to children, helping communities after storms, donating to charity. But there’s more …

To protect a tax break,  Walgreens has allied itself with Wisconsin’s brutally partisan Republican Party, which is in the midst of a power grab, stripping authority from Wisconsin’s newly-elected Democratic governor and attorney general solely because Republicans lost those offices.

One would think that an organization claiming to care about community values would speak up, but not Walgreens; and not some other corporate supporters of the Wisconsin GOP, like Microsoft, Dr Pepper Snapple, J.P. Morgan Chase or Humana.

Start writing those letters, and start spending your coins elsewhere.

In what I call High-larious news … GOP Congresswoman Elise Stefanik is calling on incoming House GOP campaigns chief Tom Emmer and the rest of the leadership team to conduct an autopsy to find out what went wrong for Republicans in the disastrous 2018 midterms.

Um, Elise, I’ll make it easy for you: what went wrong is …. _____.

Fix that problem and you might save your party, except your party is too entrenched on saving itself in any way it can—see previous story—and may well just die out.

Sorry, not sorry.

SCOTUS dealt a setback to Louisiana and Kansas, turning away their appeals of lower court rulings that blocked their efforts to end public funding to Planned Parenthood.

The case, which did not challenge the constitutionality of abortion itself, is one of a number of disputes working their way up to the Supreme Court over state-imposed restrictions on abortion.

Justices Thomas, Alito, and Gorsuch voted to hear the case, while new Justice Sexual Predator Drunken Frat Boy Kavanaugh upset his evangelical base by opting not to hear the case.

Next up … Kid Rock as Ambassador?

Don’t laugh. This week _____ picked former FOX & Friends correspondent Heather Nauert as Ambassador to the United Nations, replacing Nikki Haley who resigned last month. Nauert has served as a spokesperson for the State Department since April 2017 but has little to no experience in government or foreign policy.

But then, neither does this illegitimate president.

I stumbled across this on Twitter, and I must say it’s what I would call the Best Christmas Hannukah card ever.

Oops. In the same week that TIME called journalists and the press it’s Person of the Year we have a retraction from a one newspaper.

I guess, from reading the headline, maybe they need a new copy editor?

We just started watching Sharp Object, a murder mystery on HBO, but, as usual, my eye goes to the hot fill-in-the-blank character, this time a detective played by Chris Messina.

He.Smoulders.

That’s all.

My Two Cents: Hillary Clinton's AIDS Gaffe

Nancy Reagan died last week, and in talking about her with MSNBC, Hillary Clinton said Nancy Reagan helped start a “national conversation” about AIDS in the 1980s  when AIDS activists and protesters were fighting for more federal help in fighting the disease.

Trouble is, Nancy Reagan was far from an LGBT advocate, and even farther away from helping anyone with HIV/AIDS. And the moment the interview was over Twitter, and other parts of social media, exploded, with folks accusing Clinton of misrepresenting history and insulting the 1980s activists who pressured elected officials to step up the response to AIDS.

So, Hillary Clinton apologized for what she said:

“While the Reagans were strong advocates for stem cell research and finding a cure for Alzheimer’s disease, I misspoke about their record on HIV and AIDS. For that, I am sorry.”Can we move on, now?

Or must we hang Hillary Clinton for saying the wrong thing? Something I am sure we have all done, and will all do again. Must we scream and shout because her team, made of many in the LGBT community, missed that comment before it was made?

Build a bridge. Get over it.

Look, I am no fan of either Reagan, Ronald or Nancy, and their complete aversion to even saying the word AIDS — even as one of their closest friends, Rock Hudson, was dying of AIDS-related complications they refused to help — and I am no fan of the jokes White House staff, under President Reagan, made regarding AIDS.

But let’s move on … does castigating Clinton for saying the wrong thing change anything? No, it just gets us all off topic: we need a democrat — either Bernie Sanders or Hillary Clinton — in the White House if the LGBT community is going to have any chance of continuing the strides we’ve made towards equality.

Getting sidetracked by a mistake is the wrong thing to do.

Random Musings

Y’all know this story … on December 27, 2014, Leelah Alcorn, a 17 year old transgender youth wrote posted a suicide note on Tumblr and then walked in front of a semi-truck on a busy highway.

Leelah explained how her parents had forced her to attend conversion therapy, pulled her out of school and isolated her in an attempt to change her gender identity and so a petition has been created to enact Leelah’s Law to Ban All LGBTQ+ Conversion Therapy.

If the petition receives 100,000 signatures within the first 30 days, the White House will respond. Right now, the petition has 93,891 signatures, and needs 6,109 more to qualify by February 2. While it won't guarantee a bill or a law, greater awareness means greater possibility for action.

Take a moment, click HERE, and sign.

Thanks.

Now on to a more fabulous note … Diana Ross will be taking up residency in Las Vegas.

No, Diva ain’t living there, but she will be performing at the Venetian for nine days in April, and could make it a permanent thing.

I need to get my ass to Vegas …. Maybe she’ll ask me to dance with her again.

Down there to Alabama, where marriage equality is becoming legal, the state’s first and only openly gay state legislator, Democratic Representative Patricia Todd has taken to Facebook to fire back at politicians alleging that same-sex marriage would erode "family values" if it becomes legal in Alabama.

Todd called out the hypocrisy of many lawmakers using the rallying cry of "family values" to prop up their anti-gay views when they are having extramarital affairs, and basically says she’ll out these hypocrites.

Here’s my deal: why sink to their level. Patricia? I mean if Joe Blow Congressman is schtupping someone other than the missus, who cares? Outing them only makes The Gays seem vindictive and petty; why not just show statistics from places where same-sex marriage is legal that disprove their idiotic arguments.

Fight negativity with positivity, m’kay.

That said, if Joe Blow Congressman is anti-gay and has a little boytoy on the side, then out him as the ultimate hypocrite.

I hate these closeted gay men and women who seek to deny equal rights to The Gays. They should have their closet doors blown open.

Photo of the Week:

This could be in gossip, except the photo qualifies it for its own segment. While Lohan was hospitalized after her Bora Bora mosquito bite — and no word on how sick the mosquito became after sipping Lohan blood — she was bored. So she began posting selfies in her underwear to the net, but she doesn’t have the Photoshop skills of Queen Bey so …

Notice Lindsay’s remarkably thin waistline? Look at the bottles on the shelf behind her, and how they inexplicably lean toward her.

Bad Photoshop! Bad.

If sometime this evening you hear a blood curdling scream from sea to shining sea, well, it’s Carlos … because I’ve just told him that the next season of Downton Abbey will be the last one. 

Writer Julian Fellowes is ending the show — which was supposed to run for one, maybe two seasons — after its sixth year to work on a new project about 19th century New York.

Brooklyn Abbey?

Just wondering … now, let me get a cold compress for Carlos.

Sometime last year I DVR’d Ten Years because it starred Channing Tatum and he has a habit of baring his most gorgeous ass in all his films. Sadly, in this film, he did not, which only made it even worse than I thought.

The lone bright spot was the character of Reeve, played by Oscar Isaac; his was the only character that wasn’t a stereotype of some high school student at his reunion. Plus, he’s hot.

And this week, I heard that Isaac was to be on The View so I watched … and he’s hotter than that, sweeter than that, smarter than that.

He’s my new Hugh Jackman. I’ve told Carlos that when … when not if … Oscar Isaac comes to Smallville to sweep me off my feet, well, I’ll be going.

Hot. Oh, and he has a new movie out called A Most Violent Year with the faboosh Jessica Chastain. I'm making Carlos see it with me this weekend.

So that rug at the Pinellas County Sheriff's Office that read ‘In Dog We Trust’ instead of ‘In Cat … I kid … God We Trust’ has been replaced and the Oops Version was sold at auction for $9,600.00.

The money will be donated to Canine Estates, a Palm Harbor nonprofit for injured and abandoned animals.

Thank Dog.

I loves me some Nashville …I love that they are taking a risk by having a gay character on the show — I mean, country music and openly gay people don’t generally mix — especially when the gay in question is played by hunky Chris Carmack [down there], who has macked on quite a few dudes since joining the cast.

And maybe, just maybe, he’ll be macking on Kyle Dean Massey [up there] who has joined the show in the recurring role of Kevin Bicks, a successful singer-songwriters in Nashville who also happens to be openly gay.

I expect sparks, Nashville.

I kinda like Sam Smith, that Brit singer who many call … wrongly, I think, the male Adele … though I got tired of him not talking about being gay and yet now that’s all he talks about.

But that’s not the Musing today. When I first heard his single, ‘Stay With Me’ I liked it … because I’d heard it before. I remember tooling down the road and singing along with it, only the words I sang didn’t match up because I was actually singing Tom Petty’s ’I Won’t Back Down.’

And yet I never heard any mention of the similarities until now, when I heard that Smith has agreed to fork over songwriting royalties to Tom Petty after Petty's lawyers called him out on the very apparent similarities.

But I keep wondering why it took so long; I mean, I knew this months ago. Maybe I should be Petty’s lawyer?

I’d never heard of Joni Ernst, the newly elected Republican senator from Iowa, until she was tapped to give the Republican response to President Obama's State of the Union address last week, in which she spoke about her family’s humble beginnings and wearing bread bag on her feet:

“They had very little to call their own except the sweat on their brow and the dirt on their hands. But they worked, they sacrificed, and they dreamed big dreams for their children and grandchildren.”

It all sounds very Joad Family — Google it youngsters — except … Ernst failed to mention that her family did not succeed alone, but had a boatload of federal cash to help them out.

Her father, Richard Culver, received $14,705 in conservation payments and $23,690 in commodity subsidies by the US government, while his brother, Dallas Culver, received $367,141 in federal aid, with some $250,000 geared toward corn subsidies. And the brothers’ late grandfather Harold Culver received $57,479 from the government between 1995 and 2001.

But the farm subsidies weren't the only payments her family received: a construction company owned by Joni’s daddy received more than $200,000 in county contracts while Joni served as auditor of Montgomery County, Iowa, despite a strict conflict of interest code governing contracts to family members of county officials.

Uh huh. I guess with all that government money coming in, Little Joni Ernst never bought a computer to see what a quick Google search would bring up when you start spouting off about being poor and working hard and getting nearly half a million dollars in federal aid.

But she’s a Republican so they don’t like to talk about that stuff. Now, I’m sure her family worked hard — farming is hard — but they did not do it alone, and for her to play it off like they did is the typical GOP bull sh*t.

Shame on you Joni.

Rumor has it — and I heard it from Rachel Maddow — that Bryan Fischer, the virulently anti-gay Director of Issues Analysis for the American Family Association, has been fired.

Maddow says the firing was due to Israeli press reporting that Reince Preibus and the RNC are taking a trip to Israel which is being funded by the AFA, while Fischer has said, more than once in his program, that "Jews have no right to practice the faith of Judaism in the United States" and that The Gays are behind the Holocaust and Naziism.

Fischer, for his part, says he has not been fired. Stay tuned.

I’d never heard of Hozier before, but one night, driving home from work, I heard this little ditty, ‘Take Me To Church’ and it has been stuck in my head ever since.

It doesn’t hurt that it’s an anti-organized religion tune, which plays up the hypocrisy of organized faith, and that there's a couple of gay guys in it.