… that when I noticed the
cover of my ironing board was wrinkled I laughed at the irony, and then I
laughed again at the word “irony” … that people don’t know that
if I was a Jedi there’s a 100% chance I would use the Force inappropriately … that while I often know
better than to do certain things but my curiosity was like “do it” and my bad
decisions were already putting on their shoes … that you need to know that
my self worth doesn’t depend on your opinion of me mainly because I already
checked with myself and I think I’m doing a fantastic job. The Board of
Directors [me] has spoken. … that y’all need to know my
Five ways to Have a Good Day: 1] Drink Coffee; 2] Avoid People; 3] Read a book;
D] Drink more Coffee; and 4] Keep avoiding people … that I often need to ask
the haters watching life if they are okay with the volume or if I should turn
it up … that the people who think
they know me don’t see my 5AM runs, or see me choosing a salad over French fries,
or doing yoga in a peaceful room, don’t realize it’s because I don’t do any of
that … that when I ask myself if I’m
the problem we almost always say no … that “naked hiking” is
apparently done without GPS, no music and no distractions and yet no one
bothered to tell me sooner … that y’all need to know
that I didn't survive Y2K, 9/11, Swine Flu, Bird Flu, multiple recessions, that
time I woke up naked in a corn field, and COVID just to be taken out by
diarrhea lettuce |
Saturday, August 01, 2026
Why Is It ...
Thursday, January 22, 2026
Bobservations
According to our local weather folks, we are expecting
snowstorms, ice storms, rains storms, hailstorms, tornadoes, hurricanes, locusts,
frogs falling from the heavens and so much worse by the time Monday rolls
around. I can handle all of that, but what I cannot handle is
Carlos’ sudden need to change the temperature from Fahrenheit to Celsius. This
morning it was 28-degrees and after he heard that and muttered his standard
cold morning “Oh fuck,” he said:
Whispering as he wanders into the bathroom … “Minus 2, minus 2, minus 2.” I am gonna lower the temperature of the extra freezer and
let Carlos nap in there all weekend and then see him mutter Celsius! |
This Tuxedo Says is from August 2021 ... Is anyone really surprised that after living with me for
seventeen years Tuxedo is a liberal? |
This week Virginia inaugurated Abigail Spanberger as its
first female Governor, and since Blue now controls the state, this was done on
Day One:
This is Blue and the Resistance at work and if it sounds good to you, the Vote Blue. |
Can someone explain to me why the GOP and Cankles’ Fascist
Regime say there is no money for healthcare but loads of cash to buy a foreign
country?? Can someone also explain to me why, all of the sudden,
there are no more “drug boats” in the Caribbean carrying fentanyl into the US? And while we’re at it, can someone explain to María Corina
Machado that giving away her Nobel Peace to the guy who bombed your country
because he wants the oil, and then tried to make himself leader of her country,
means she didn’t deserve the prize in the first place? |
I love language and always
like to use words that may have gone out of fashion, or are from a bygone era,
just to keep them alive if only in my brain . But every once in a while I need a new word to add to
my vocabulary and this weeks it’s: Bitchuation Any situation that forces me
to act like a bitch. |
And speaking of bitches, Nicki Minaj, who has the IQ of a
puppet, went off on Don Lemon and the LGBTQ+ community because Lemon covered
the anti-ICEstapo protest at a Minneapolis church over the weekend, saying: “DON COCK SUCKIN’ LEMON IS DISGUSTING. HOW DARE YOU? I WANT THAT THUG IN JAIL!!!!! HE WOULD NEVER DO THAT TO ANY OTHER RELIGION. LOCK HIM UP.” First off, dumbass, enough
with the Caps Lock. Secondly, get an education before you speak. He didn’t
attack a religion, he reported on a pro-ICE minister and you responded with
homophobic slurs like an illiterate pig might do. And when Lemon came for Minaj,
she doubled-down against the entire LGBTQ+ community: “LOL!!! And I purposely wrote it that way b/c I knew that would be the only way to get the cock suckers to post about it. They would have all collectively ignored the despicable behavior displayed by Lemon head. I’m glad they’re angry. They’re about to get angrier.” Oh Nicki, from the LGBTQ+ community: Fuck ALL the way off. |
Red baseball caps spoofing
those MAGAt hats have become a symbol of Danish and Greenlandic defiance
against Cankles threat to seize the frozen territory but they don’t say Make
America Great Again, but instead beg Make America Go Away. My, how far we’ve fallen in
the world view since a racist rapist pedophile traitor and con artist took
control. |
Mitchell Saron is an American fencer who represented America at the 2024 Summer Olympics in Paris with his big saber so … Would You Hit It? |
Thursday, July 17, 2025
Bobservations
Last Friday Carlos had to be up in Lancaster for a translation and it took the better part of the day. As we were getting closer to home at about 4PM, I told Carlos I had no idea what to cook for dinner so maybe we could eat at Salud. He agreed and off we went for a nice dinner and some great Coyotes Margaritas. Cut to Tuesday and Carlos had an appointment in Camden and so off we went to that; but it was quick and we were back home by 11:30AM at which time Carlos said he had no idea what to cook for dinner and maybe we should go out. I said, with incredulity:
Cut to dinner … mashed potatoes, sliced avocado and some ground turkey sauteed up and served over the spuds. Abd because over-dramatic is my middle name, I said, with incredulity: “All this needs is a plastic compartmentalized tray and it’d be what I got served for lunch … IN THE FIFTH GRADE!!!!” Later on Carlos tried to atone for his sins of culinary slop by suggesting he would make a peach cobbler … for me. I reminded him, with incredulity, that I don’t much care for sweets—though his cobbler is dee-lish—and that he was making the cobbler for himself and he just smiled. |
This Tuxedo Says is from January 2021 … Seriously, even a cat knows the difference between a riot and a terror attack. I think he needs to give a TED talk to the GOP. |
On July 8, 2025, former NFL sideline reporter Michele Tafoya posted a photo of a note she says she received from a very kind flight attendant with the comment: “Thank you to the flight attendant who handed this to me in flight.” Trouble is Tafoya posted the exact same photo with the note over two years ago. This is some damned strong thirst for attention. |
Apparently you can get anything in the subway, even a nice
set of beefy beefcakes. |
I invented a new golf ball that will automatically go into
the hole if it gets within four inches but … note to self: do not carry
them in your back pocket. |
They said the Epstein files were on Pamela Jo Bondi’s desk. Then they said the Epstein files do not exist. Then they said the Epstein files were written by Obama and
Hillary when Epstein died in 2019 while The Felon was president. And the guy who has sued people for telling “lies” about him
over 4,000 times hasn’t filed one lawsuit against those who say … He’s in the files. |
The Felon was accused of hijacking English soccer club Chelsea’s lifting of the 2025 FIFA Club World Cup trophy following its 3–0 victory over France’s Paris Saint-Germain at New Jersey’s MetLife Stadium this past weekend. After presenting the trophy, The Felon stood among the players even after he was asked to step aside. On Monday, Chelsea marked the win with a celebratory team photo shared to social media but they chose an image when The Felon wasn’t front and center. It was like Where’s Waldo but more Where’s That Gelatinous Tub of Flesh Who Can’t Climb Stairs But Stands Among Athletes Like He Is One. |
In today's episode of "English is Hard", I ponder
how it's possible that "Fat Chance" & "Slim Chance"
mean roughly the same thing? |
Alvise Rigo is a thirty-year-old actor and side of beef from Venice, Veneto, Italy though all that matters not: Would You Hit It? |