Florida Man Says 'No Same-Sex Marriages? No Jury Duty!'

Gosh, I loathe Jury Duty.  I’ve been called in Sacramento, Miami and Camden, and served on two juries. In Sacramento, it was a case of welfare fraud — we found her guilty — and in Camden it was a case of assault — we ended up a hung jury, which is not near as fun as it sounds. In Miami, I sat in the room for days and days and was never called. I loathe Jury Duty, but I know it’s my duty so …

Chuck Chapman of Jacksonville, Florida, also loathes Jury Duty, and was called to serve at the Duval County courthouse. But, rather than sit politely and wait to be called, Chapman took a stand for marriage equality.

To be clear, marriage equality is fully legal in Florida these days, but Duval County Clerk of Courts Ronnie Fussell did not like that ruling and felt it was best to simply stop performing any marriages at all because marrying same-sex couples makes him “uncomfortable.”

So Chuck Chapman stood his ground:

“If they feel uncomfortable performing the weddings in the courthouse, then as an openly gay man I feel uncomfortable being here [at the courthouse].It’s my town, and I happen to be a gay man. Don’t make it any more difficult than it has been. It’s my town, too. … I'm a citizen, I vote. I pay my taxes … My rights should be across the board just like anybody else has and anybody else wants and anybody else needs. It's my rights as a citizen in Duval County and the state of Florida."

And when his number was called, Chapman appeared before a judge, who asked:

“Does anyone in the jury selection pool have any prejudices or biases?”

And Chuck Chapman said:

“I just don't feel comfortable in the courthouse. If the clerk of the court doesn't feel comfortable performing same sex marriages, as an openly gay man, I don't know how I can feel comfortable in court."

As a taxpayer, Chapman is also incensed, as a taxpayer, at the lost revenues from Fussell’s decision:

“There were 1900 weddings performed in the courthouse in 2013. There's a chapel in that courthouse for weddings. There's money being lost on that courthouse because the clerks of the court do not feel comfortable marrying same-sex partners…. I hope this brings some awareness to the clerk of the courts. This is Duval County. Until this community gets in a position and embraces diversity, we'll never move forward."

The judge listened politely as Chapman spoke and his act of civil disobedience has a price: he could be held in contempt of court. Luckily, the judge listened to him, heard him, and excused him from service.

No word on what will happen in Doral County though; perhaps they’ll keep refusing to perform weddings and keep losing revenue, and be unable to pay Fussell’s salary and he’ll be terminated form the position, or down-sized to a file clerk in a dark basement somewhere.

via NCRM and NCRM

Random Musings

I love tattoos; I have six, and they all mean something personal to me. They aren’t cartoons or names of old boyfriends— the things that you might one day look at and regret.

Like Eric Hartsburg, the guy from Indiana who tattooed the logo of Mitt Romney's presidential campaign on his face … onto his face … and now, big surprise, says he is removing it.

Hartsburg says he initially planned to keep the tattoos … cough bull sh*t cough … it, but cites post-election comments by Romney for his change of heart.

Either that or wearing the tattoo logo of a loser was just too embarrassing.

And, yes, stupid.

This just in from the Vatican….

Pope Francis has "overhauled" the criminal code at Vatican City and now, finally, for the first time in history, the possession of child pornography will send you to Vatican prison; which, I’m guessing, since the Vatican isn’t big on punishment, is an island in the Caribbean filled with nubile young houseboys in see-through sarongs.

Or something.

This new, um, legislation covers clergy and lay people who live and work in Vatican City and is different from the canon law, which covers the universal Catholic Church.

In addition, it is also now illegal to leak Vatican secrets, and the penalties for violations of the new law are stiff … hee hee … stiff: Anyone who reveals or receives confidential information or documentation risks six months to two years in prison and a $2,500 fine; the penalty goes up to eight years in prison if the material concerns the “fundamental interests” of the Holy See or its diplomatic relations with other countries.

In other words, stop looking at child porn and stop talking.

If only …….

So, I like me some Bravo. I really like Million Dollar Decorators because, well, I’m a big old queen, and because it features one Mary McDonald, my BFH—Best Fag Hag.

Mary is rumored to have been the inspiration for the Karen Walker character on Will & Grace and I can see why.

She’s bawdy, bold, funny, and has a gay BFF—sadly, not me.

Plus, you can also see her on Bravo’s Property Envy.

She’s, as the old folks say, a hoot.

It’s official, Texas has officially gone Cher on our collective asses and turned back time.

Last Friday the Texas Senate, by a vote of 19 to 11, passed HB 2, that controversial abortion bill that has garnered the nation's attention over the past month. It was instantly sent via horseback to Governor Perry’s desk where, of course, he’ll sign it.

Odd that Governor, and Not Gay, Rick Perry is so interested in women’s vaginas, eh?

That’s the bad news; the good news is that State Senator Wendy Davis, who filibustered long and hard against the bassackwards bill, is being courted to run for governor in 2014.

The more bad news, this is still Texas, and most of the state doesn’t have the collective gray matter to elect any forward thinking governor.

Bush. Perry. ‘Nuff said.

I was angry at the Zimmerman verdict; I understood the verdict and I realized that, the way our justice system works, justice was served. But I didn’t, and don’t agree with the verdict.

But what pisses me off are the protestors who are destroying their cities, breaking windows and setting fires. That serves no purpose; channel the anger into solving the problem. Punching out a window, or another person, doesn’t help.

And Los Angeles? Neither does shutting down the 10 freeway. All that did was piss off a bunch of commuters trying to get somewhere.

That’s not a protest; that’s just dumb.

That said….

My thoughts on, ahem, Juror B37. And lemme start off by saying this is all hypothetical.

Say B37 was called for jury duty, and after arriving at the courthouse realized it was for the Zimmerman case. And then say she saw dollar signs, and a way to capture her fifteen minutes of fame.

But first, she’d have to make sure Zimmerman was found not guilty, because had he been found guilty the story would have ended. Most people would have been celebrating the verdict and the justice for Trayvon, but her time in the spotlight and her chance to cash in on the verdict would be over.

So, she decides Zimmerman is innocent, and maybe she works hard to persuade those other jurors—and she says they were split three-three on the verdict.

But say she persuades those other three to come to her side.

Zimmerman gets off.

She gets a moment in the spotlight.

She writes a book.

She makes money.

I for one, don’t trust the woman, not one iota. I think she had an agenda and she worked it.

The good news, however, is that the country is so enraged by the verdict t that B37’s publisher has cancelled her book deal, and B37 has slunk back into the ooze and mire from whence she came.

Good riddance.

Meanwhile back at the Vatican ….

Those Catholics who sin—and I don’t mean just the child raping priests—can now earn indulgences, reducing the time they'll have to spend in purgatory for their sins if …..

They follow Pope Francis on Twitter.

Yes, folks, you heard it right.

But previously, these ‘indulgences’ were granted to those who carry out certain tasks—like climbing the Sacred Steps, in Rome, which earns believers seven years off purgatory. And recently, Catholics learned that attendance at events such as the Catholic World Youth Day, in Rio de Janeiro, also win an indulgence.

But the Church, knowing that not everyone can attend a weeklong festival to pedophiles and thieves have also extended the privilege to those following the "rites and pious exercises" of the event on television, radio and through social media … like Twitter.

But, according to a source at the penitentiary Vatican: “You must be following the events live. It is not as if you can get an indulgence by chatting on the internet."

Seriously. Follow the Pope on Twitter and you get to shave off some time in purgatory. Now, if they only added SkyMiles …..

I have become hooked on MTV’s Teen Wolf, which is not the Michael J Fox comedy from the 80s, or even the Jason Bateman reboot, also from the 80s. This is darker, and more grisly, and, well, kinda gay.

I mean look at just some of the cast up there: Keahu Kahuani, Tyler Hoechlin, Sinqua Walls—who was killed off this week … or was he?—and Charlie and Max Carver.

It’s like Man Candy Central. And, like I said, kinda gay …..

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Random Musings

Well, my brief stint at Jury Duty ended earlier today. A lovely case of assault at a wedding reception AKA Just another day in South Carolina.

I'm just thankful no one was shot.

I love those Jacksons; they’re a wacky bunch. Remember when Janet got married, only we didn’t know she was married until she filed for divorce? Yeah, well, she’s kinda done that again, by getting married last year to some entrepreneurial kinda guy.

Why so secretive Janet? Is it about Control? Who knows? Still, she doesn’t take the Crazy Jackson Antics Award this time. No, this time it goes to Jermaine.

He has legally changed his name from Jermaine Jackson to Jermaine Jacksun. I know! From now on, remember to pronounce it correctly: it’s not Jackson it’s Jacksun.  Subtle, no?

A court commissioner signed off on the 58-year-old singer’s petition today, officially making him Jermaine LaJuane Jacksun. Still, Mister Jacksun has no official comment, but a spokesman said, way back when Jackson filed in November to change his name that it was a “personal choice” and “not a big deal.”

Well, that’s true; changing none’s name is a personal choice and it’s no big deal because, well, Jermaine Jackson and Jermaine Jacksun are over.

Inching closer and closer, the Illinois House Executive Committee tonight advanced SB-10, or the Religious Freedom and Marriage Fairness Act, or as I call it, the It's About Time Act, passed by the Senate last week, in a 6-5 vote.

The bill now proceeds to the full House, and if passed, Governor Pat Quinn has said he will sign it.
Get it done, please. Let's keep those equality states growing.

Madge has got a brand new, um, face. See, that's Old Madonna, there on the left, and Madonna With A New Look, AKA Lifted, Tucked, Botoxed, Peeled, and Filled, on the right.

How does she stay so young?

Aalaya Walker, an 18-year-old Florida woman, is lucky to be alive this week after her friend’s stove went on a shooting rampage inside her home.

See, Walker was visiting JJ Sandy, a friend, in St. Petersburg when they decided they wanted some late-night waffles. Walker began preheating the oven—unaware that Sandy was storing a magazine from his .45-caliber Glock 21 inside.

The magazine exploded, spraying casing fragments at high speed and striking Walker. She managed to pick some of the fragments out of her leg and chest and then took a bus to the hospital, where she was treated and released.

It’s like I’ve been saying for years, ‘Guns don’t kill people. Ovens kill people.’

So, season three of American Horror Story, right? Something witchy this way comes, and it's bringing back the fabulous Jessica Lange!

And now we get the news that none other than Kathy Bates [Misery] will be on board.

Seriously. Bates'n'Lange.

It doesn't get much better.

Those wacky One Million Moms are at it again.

The group—with numbers about 950,000 shy of a million—are targeting Geico for its latest commercial that features a talking pig.

Now, the OMM aren’t against talking pigs, per se, but are annoyed by this particular Porcine Orator.  See, in the Geico commercial, the pig and his female, human, date are parked on Lover’s Lane and that’s what has the OMM’s Granny Pants in a twist.

See, they think that the talking pig and the human girl date are promoting bestially, and have released a statement:

Geico has succeeded in offending its customers with this inappropriate advertisement. One Million Moms has received numerous complaints because Geico's new commercial plays with the idea of bestiality. Parents find this type of advertising repulsive and unnecessary. Airing a commercial with an animal in it will surely grab children's attention, but this is a horrible commercial for families to see. Geico does not have our children's best interest in mind. The Geico Marketing Team may have thought this would be humorous, but it is disgusting to see how the company takes lightly the act of bestiality. Let Geico know their new ad is irresponsible.

I wonder how many of these kids even knew what bestiality was before the OMM took their crazy public?

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