Tuesday Thought #3

Random Musings

We ate breakfast together; drove to work together; came home together; ate dinner together. Then, as we’re sitting down in the living room Carlos says to me:

“You got your new glasses.”

“Uh, no, they’ll come in on Friday.”

“Are you sure? Those look like the new ones.”

"Uh, I’ve been wearing these for two years, so, yeah, I’m pretty sure they’re not the new ones that don’t come in until Friday.”

“They look like the new ones.”

And that’s when I reach for a cartoon frying pan to hit him in the head.

So, the foul New Jersey Governor, Chris “Krispy Kreme” Christie, attended a Mets game last night and caught a foul ball.

He was instantly booed ... so he opened wide and ate the ball.

Just sayin’.

So, now that the GOP, in control of the White House, the Senate and the House, cannot get their shiz together to pass a healthcare bill to replace the Affordable Healthcare Act, they have now set their sights on a repeal only mentality.

And it’s a worse idea than GOPDon’tCare ... according to the Congressional Budget Office repealing Obamacare would lead to 27 million uninsured in 2020, and 32 million uninsured by 2026. The CBO also projected that average premiums in the individual health insurance market would rise by about 25% next year, and inch over 50% higher in 2020, doubling by 2026.

Why not just repeal and replace the GOP? Problem solved.

So, _____’s lawyer tried to make the claim that the Secret Service was in attendance at Junior’s secret Collusion Meeting with the Russians last year, but the U.S. Secret Service is saying it ain’t so.

The President-For-Now’s lawyer asked:

“I wonder why the Secret Service, if this was nefarious, why the Secret Service allowed these people in. The president had Secret Service protection at that point, and that raised a question with me.”

The Secret Service snapped back saying Junior “was not a protectee of the USSS in June, 2016. Thus we would not have screened anyone he was meeting with at that time.”

Nice try, ambulance chaser. Now sit down.

In the Nothing To See Here File ... After his much-publicized, two-plus-hour meeting at the G20 with Vladi­mir Putin, it appears that _____ also met informally, and secretly, with Putin for an additional hour later the same day.

The second meeting went unreported at the time.

Like I said, Nothing To See Here ... Except More _____ Lies.

Caitlyn Jenner, Olympic gold medalist, reality show whore, has-been and ALLEGED transgender activist, is said to be thinking of running for the U.S. Senate representing California.

Seriously? Do we need another reality-show-whore with little experience in politics?

Caitlyn, if you wanna help the Trans community, or the LGBT community, why not do it out of the limelight instead of trying to live your life on TV.

California needs real representatives, not Fake Ones ... like soap actor and underwear model Antonio Sabato Jr. who is considering a run to represent the southern central coast and most of Ventura County in Congress.

Dear god ....

In This Can’t Be Good News ... new federal filings show that President _____’s re-election campaign is paying Junior’s defense attorney.

So the reelection money is for Junior’s legal defense? Huh?

And even more odd, is that the money was paid to Junior’s lawyers before the story of his lies and collusion hit the news, which kinda makes it look like they all knew the shiz was headed for the fan.

Lying _____’s? Say it ain’t so.

Delta Airlines has apologized via Twitter to hate-monger Ann Coulter after her Twitter meltdown over having to give up her seat ... and move over two seats, on a recent Delta flight.

Delta Tweeted:

“We’re sorry you did not receive the preferred seat you paid for and will refund your $30.”

Then they added:

“Additionally, your insults about our other customers and employees are unacceptable and unnecessary.”

Snap.

Yes, we’re still watching Will. It’s not as corny and cheese-filled after episode one and, Shallow Bob, there are so hot guys in it and it’s on TNT so you get some bare butts.

Hot Guys; Bare Butts. Two of my Go-To Wants in a TV show ... especially when there is some man-on-man TNT-type action.

So, this week we saw Mattias Inwood and his, dare I exaggerate, glorious ass. Along with Max Bennett as a priest ... a very hot priest.

So, yeah, Shallow Bob is still watching.

Well, it looks like Ryan Lochte, the bubble-brained swimmer who filed a fake police report in Rio last year to hide the fact he, and his friends, were a bunch of drunken vandals, will not be going to jail after all. He was cleared of all charges after an appeals court threw out the criminal charge against the moron.

Still, the idiot paid a fine for being a douche and also received a ten-month suspension from USA Swimming; oh, and Speedo, Ralph Lauren, and GentleLase hair removal system dropped him as their spokes-dumbass.

Now can he go away?

In the wake of his healthcare failure, his Iran failure, and his general failure at being the least bit presidential, _____ has decided to hold another one of his Ego Boosting Rallies to make him feel better.

Couldn’t Ivanka just have given him an ice cream cone and let him watch TV for an extra hour that night?

I’d like to thank the academy ... Oh, it’s not an Oscar, but a Blogger Award. Well,  okay, so what do I have to do?

Put the award image on my blog. Done.

List the rules. Um, okay ... ?

Thank whoever nominated you and provide a link to their blog. Thanks Toni at Wandering and Wondering. 

Also mention the creator of the award and provide a link; creator? Well, apparently, the creator was our Almighty Go .... Okoto Enigma, whoever that may be.

Tell your readers three things about yourself.

1. I’ve never been arrested, but it’s not for lack of trying; thinking back on things I did in my impetuous youth, I am still amazed that I made it this far without jail time, or being killed. What can I say; I was wild as a younger queerling.
2. These days I am likely to be in bed before 10:30 PM. But then I’m up by 6AM, so, you know, I need my beauty rest.
3. As a child, staying at home with my sister as a babysitter, I convinced her there was a man in our yard, thinking she’d take us to the neighbor’s house and we could go swimming; instead, she called the police, to whom I instantly lied and repeated the story. I didn’t tell my sister, or parents, the truth until the Statute of Limitations was up.

Nominate other bloggers. I’ll nominate you all! You get an award! And you get an award! You get one, too! Look at me! I’m Oprah!

Ask your nominees any five questions of your choice, plus one weird or funny question. ... why don’t y’all take a shot at these questions ...

1. What author would you want to write your biography? Bob Smith because he’s gay and funny and named Bob
2. If your life was a movie, what would the theme song be? I Am What I Am ... or maybe Rose’s Turn ... or And I’m Telling You I’m Not Going!
3. Destiny or Free Will? I’ll take a soupcon of both, please.
4. Have you ever read a book that truly changed your life? I don’t know if it changed my life, but How Long Has This Been Going On by Ethan Mordden made me want to know more about The Gays and our history.
5. Who/What has had the greatest impact on your life? My parents; I learned about the simple things from them: love, for yourself and others.
6. Funny/weird question: If you could bring any fictional character to life, who would you choose? Margo Channing, because she and I would be besties.

Share a link to my blog's best post. These might not be the best, but they're the ones that stick with me the most ...Hurt ... Random Musings ... Singular ... Shake The Etch-A-Sketch ... and of course ... Mr. and Mr.

Carlos got done talking with his Aunt Gloria last night and told me she had wanted to change the beneficiaries on her life insurance policy. She wanted him in charge, and then she’d leave instructions on how to split up the money. Then he looked at me and said

“You’re a contingency beneficiary?”

“What? Why?”

“If something happens to me, you’ll get the money.”

“Excuse me ...”

“Why?”

“I need to Google ‘undetectable poisons.’”

Why the man loves me I do not know .... 

Monday Chuckles

Yes, Russia; yes, healthcare; yes, collusion. But, sometimes, you just gotta laugh at the buffoonery that goes on and so, to start off the week, I want to giggle, for a minute ....

It appears that ______ thinks deleting emails is worse than one actual email showing that Junior and his campaign colluded with Russia to help him win the election and so he Tweeted about it and, well, Twitter came for him:

“Hillary Clinton can illegally get the questions to the Debate & delete 33,000 emails but my son Don is being scorned by the Fake News Media?”—@realDonald_____

First of all, _____ was also “tipped off” about debate questions during the GOP primary, and that may mean he was also given some questions prior to debates with Hillary. And, secondly, Hillary Clinton did nothing that former Secretaries of States Colin Powell and Condoleezza Rice also did by using private email servers to receive classified information. Plus, W’s administration deleted 22 million emails without so much as a ‘What?’ from the GOP so, yeah, shut up.

And while Clinton’s emails were the story during the campaign, and _____ even suggested he’d prosecute her, he hasn’t done it because he can’t; the FBI cleared Clinton twice during their investigation.

So Twitter reminded him of that:

“Hillary Clinton did not take aid from a foreign government, you absolute tool.”—(@AynRandPaulRyan)

 “Your son is going to jail. Get used to it.”—@evanoconnell

“As bad as it is, getting questions to a debate in advance isn’t “illegal.” Get a better grip on the laws you were elected to uphold.”—@ChrChristensen

“It’s illegal to collude with a hostile power to hack an election. Not to get tipped off in a TV debate.”—@peterjukes

And my favorite, concise, yet cogent:

“Resign.”—@NikolajSteen

Let’s move on to KellyAnneConway1.0, AKA Ann Coulter.

Coulter had a bad day on Saturday and so she took it out on the closest darker-skinned person she could find.

Coulter says that Delta Airlines gave her “extra room seat”—one with extra legroom—that she bought to another passenger and moved her to a regular person seat and the meltdown followed ... via Twitter, of course:

“Just when you think it’s safe to fly them again, the worst airline in America is STILL: @Delta”—@AnnCoulter

“Does your union hate you, @Delta? Not really worth spending all that money on planes when @Delta gate staff give your seat away.”—@AnnCoulter

Coulter then tweeted a photo of an African-American flight attendant who informed her that she didn’t know why Coulter’s seat was changed…

“Why are you taking me out of the extra room seat I specifically booked, @Delta?’ Flight attendant: “I don’t know.”—@AnnCoulter

And then she went after the woman who was sitting in the seat Coulter says was hers:

“@Delta didn’t give my extra room seat to an air marshall or tall person. Here’s the woman given my PRE-BOOKED seat.”—@AnnCoulter

Delta has no response but, according to Coulter, she was told there was some sort of emergency that made it necessary ... like, no one wanted to sit near Ann Coulter?

She doesn’t care, though:

“Hey @Delta, you mind telling me why it was an “emergency” to move someone else into the seat I had carefully chosen in advance and booked?”—@AnnCoulter

And then she kvetched about the WiFi:

“Also, @Delta, your wifi doesn’t work — probably to prevent passengers from tweeting from the plane about how they’re being treated.”—@AnnCoulter

“@JetBlue has free wifi and doesn’t wantonly remove passengers from their assigned seats, booked in advance FOR A REASON. @Delta sucks.”—@AnnCoulter

And she goes on ....

“So glad I took time investigate the aircraft & PRE-BOOK a specific seat on @Delta, so some woman could waltz at the last min & take my seat.”—@AnnCoulter

“But at least @Delta was nice @ it, summarily snatching my ticket from my hand & ordering me to move w/o explanation, compensation or apology.”—@AnnCoulter

“Suckiest @Delta moved me from my PRE-BOOKED SEAT & gave it to some woman, not elderly, child, or sick. I have pictures so don’t lie, @Delta!”—@AnnCoulter

If she was hoping to hurt Delta’s ticket sales, she failed:

“United: Man, airlines are taking a beating on Twitter.
American: WE NEED TO DO SOMETHING!Delta: We’ll mess with Ann Coulter.”—@HITEXECUTIVE

“Holy shit, people hate Ann Coulter so much they’re willing to take the side of delta airline!!!! DELTA.”—@TheStephenPratt

“God, imagine being trapped on a plane with Ann Coulter for hours. Everyone on that plane deserves a fucking medal.”—@cmclymer

“Ann Coulter is OK with 22 million people losing their health coverage. Just don’t ask her to move seats on a plane. That really sets her off.”—@RealDonalDrumpf

“I heard snowflake Ann Coulter have a tantrum back in coach. I asked the flight attendant to draw the curtain. Such loud trash back there!”—@BettyBowers

“But seriously, I’m jealous of this woman. How many people get to say “Ann Coulter asked me for my seat on a plane. I told her to piss off.”—@fawfulfan

“Ann Coulter=”Blacks need to get over their victim mentality”Ann Coulter has to change seats on Delta=”Oh my God, I’m being victimized!”—@tariqnasheed

 “I would fly Delta specifically because they pissed off Ann Coulter.”—@KEthePE

“And in one swift move Delta regains all the good will they lost by bumping Ann Coulter.”—@ChadJohann

 “Farts are funny and bring joy. Ann Coulter is what a painful, constipated wheeze of a dry, bloodied sphincter would sound like.”—@jordanzakarin

“I’d be mad if @Delta, without warning, sat Ann Coulter next to me.”—@cbn2

 “Ann Coulter is having a dispute with @Delta ,apparently her broom is in the shop this week. #ObviousJoke.”—@ChubbyWaiter

 Gosh, I love a funny TwitRage!

Now, back to _____, another diva who thinks he deserves special treatment.

See, he was set to visit the United Kingdom until he found out that people there hate him just as much, or more, than people here, and so he cancelled the visit.

But the lure of riding in a golden carriage—and that’s not a euphemism for giving a golden shower to a Russian hooker—proved too strong for _____ and so he placed a call to British Prime Minister Theresa May and said:

“I haven’t had great coverage out there lately, Theresa.”

And she replied:

“Well, you know what the British press are like.”

And so that’s when _____ demanded that May “fix it” to make sure he only gets cheering crowds and wide praise during a trip to England.

“I still want to come, but I’m in no rush. So, if you can fix it for me, it would make things a lot easier. When I know I’m going to get a better reception, I’ll come and not before.”

Seriously. This is the President [for now] of the United States refusing to visit an ally because the press and the people there don’t like him.

If it only it worked that way here we’d never see or hear of this Toddler Tyrant again.

Remember when the Pussy Groper was in France last week and met the country’s First Lady, Brigitte Macron, and said:

“You’re in such good shape.”

And then turned to her husband, President Emmanuel Macron, and said:

“She’s in such good physical shape. Beautiful.”

Most people know you don’t say to someone you’re meeting for the first time how great their shape is, and you don’t tell that person’s spouse the same thing as though you’re commenting on a prize show dog, but that’s our _____.

But Reebok stepped up to give Pussy Groper some pointers:

“In case you were wondering when it IS appropriate to say, ‘You’re in such good shape ... beautiful.’"

“For instance, if you’re in an elevator with a woman, it’s probably not a good idea. Introducing yourself to your mother-in-law? At the gym working out in the vicinity of a woman? Nope — none of that.”

“Are you a world leader greeting the spouse of a head of state?” — Nope.”

Kinda common sense, no? I mean, for everyone on the planet who doesn’t think because he’s ALLEGEDLY rich he can sexually assault women, it’s common sense. And yet it made no sense to conservatives, who tried coming for Reebok:

“You should stick with selling shoes and stay out of politics, just lost a customer. #MAGA”—Pam (@pmseever)

I guess, Pam, whom I’m guessing is female, wouldn’t mind _____ looking up and down at her daughter like a show pony and commenting on her shape? Siddown Pam.

“Good example of why Reebok is a has been.”—Patrick Reagan @Reagan6Patrick

Apparently Patrick thinks treating women with respect is out of date? May explain why Patrick never gets a date.

“Just what I needed today, a sporting goods company lecturing me on when I can compliment a woman like.”—Bert Kallio @bert_kallio

Oh, Bert, you should meet Pam.

“Is that you trolling our @POTUS? More reason NOT to like you or buy your overpriced crap!”—Saltwater P @_____GirlStrong

_____GirlStrong? Really?

“Won’t be buying any Reebok’s for my family anymore. You should have stuck to selling shoes. You may lose the red shaded areas as customers.”—Ex-DemLatina @terrymendozer

Not a loss, really, since most of the Red Areas that support Pussy Groper are some of the poorest areas in the country.

“When is it appropriate for a gym shoe company to get political…….NEVER!”— Steph @sa55m55a

Actually, it wasn’t politics at all, it was good manners ... which _____ lacks.

“jesus christ the world today. a brand about hot ass women in sportswear is fucking posting this. I swear to god I will never buy a rebok.”—B. Martin @crushedatoma

Um, B? May I call you B? With all the time you’ll save not shopping Reebok maybe you should take a course in grammar and spelling?

So, these “deplorables” are threatening to boycott Reebok ... like they did to Starbucks and Kellogg’s and all those other companies to no avail.

Sit down, fools. None of you wears fitness gear for any other reason than you’ll have something stretchy that ties at the waist to slip into before you head to Wal-Mart to buy Pork Rinds, Pabst and The Enquirer.

Now, to finish off with a giggle about the _____ White House ...

St. Louis Post-Dispatch parenting writer Aisha Sultan Tweeted this story last week:

“My British-born husband takes his oath of citizenship today. In the packet for new Americans, the welcome letter from POTUS is from Obama.”

Yup, _____ & Co. have been in office six months now and still the Welcome Letter to new citizens is from President Obama.

Sadly, now that the truth is out there, I half-expect _____ to disavow the citizenship of anyone who got the Obama Welcome—especially if they’re the wrong color—until they receive the welcome letter from _____, written in Crayon. But since we’re laughing, let’s wander over to Twitter and see what they’re saying about the glitch:

"I get mine in a few weeks. Really hoping this doesn’t change between now and then.”—farazter

“Maybe [Obama] still is President and Ashton Kutcher is about to jump out and punk us all.”—Will Consuegra Esq.

“I don’t know, but there’s a huge shower with Patrick Duffy inside being built on the National Mall …”—Larry Nemecek

“[_____’s Welcome Letter] would probably start with “Hey loser!” and pretty much go downhill from there.”—Canucklehead

“Because he doesn’t welcome them, unless he is going to marry them.”—Plague Doctor

But what we’re all really thinking is:

“Congratulations to your husband! I also want to live where Obama is still POTUS.”—Clotho

We can dream, right? And have a laugh?

I Didn't Say It ...

Franklin Graham, on America's "moral bankruptcy":

"What happens when you remove biblical standards and leadership from a country? Moral bankruptcy, that’s what. … Headlines every day reveal what a sad state we’re in. CBS News just reported that Caitlyn Jenner will pose nude for the cover of Sports Illustrated, draped only in his Olympic gold medal and an American flag. There’s a lot wrong with that picture! … And, as if that isn’t enough, our cartoons aren’t even immune! Disney’s Frozen, the highest-grossing animated movie of all time, has some supporters calling for the heroine Elsa to have a lesbian girlfriend in the movie’s sequel. … Pray for our nation, and get involved by standing up for God's truth and His righteousness."

Someone’s in a twist and apparently believes in a God that hates, not a God that created all of us … though some of us a little less tolerant and a lot more bigoted than others.

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Dan Savage, exposing the reason why the GOP and the far right are coming for our trans brothers and sisters:

[The GOP] couldn’t demagogue anymore about gays and lesbians because too many of us are out and too many people know us so they took the same old script – 'Oh they’re recruiting children, preying on children, threatening children, creeping in bathrooms.' That was what they said about gay men 40 years ago. And they’re just taking that now and applying that to trans women and it’s bullshit and trans women and men use bathrooms all over the country and have forever. And they have no cases to point to where a trans person has exploited a civil rights protection to prey on a child."

I’ve said this before myself; same-sex marriage is legal, more and more gay men and women are coming out and so who can the conservatives bash now?

Trans is the new gay, so let’s go after them with the same fear tactics we’ve used before.

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Anne Coulter, wacknut conservative, on policing bathrooms:

“It’s not that transgender people are going to go and molest children, [but] once you say that men can go into women’s bathrooms – men who are out shopping with their little daughters and don’t have mommy to bring her in there. It’s not that the trans are going to molest them. It’s that a child molester now has the right to go into that bathroom."

Really, Ann? Because a trans female uses the women’s bathroom it legalizes a child molester’s access to those same bathrooms?

Seriously, Shut.Up.

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Dan Savage, instantly smacking Coulter down:

"That’s bullshit. A child molester doesn’t need to put on a dress to go into a bathroom. You can Google ‘sexually assaulted in a restroom’ and you get thousands of examples of cisgendered straight men."

Savage, again, is one hundred percent correct.

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Pat Robertson, on the DOJ suing North Carolina to stop it from implementing portions of HB2 and then blaming it all on … who else … Obama:

“How absurd can you get! How does this become a great civil rights issue? This is America and this is who you put in office. You elected [Barack Obama]. I didn’t elect him. You did.”

I imagine Pat also held his head and wrung his hands and whimpered and moaned about black people using the same drinking fountain as white folk … using the same bathroom as white folk. Now it’s trans women using bathrooms.

Same story, same asshat, but let’s end with a calmer head, and more fierce voice, and more open heart …

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Loretta Lynch, U.S. Attorney General, on North Carolina's Bathroom Bill:

"Let me also speak directly to the transgender community itself. Some of you have lived freely for decades. Others of you are still wondering how you can possibly live the lives you were born to lead. But no matter how isolated or scared you may feel today, the Department of Justice and the entire Obama Administration wants you to know that we see you; we stand with you; and we will do everything we can to protect you going forward. Please know that history is on your side. This country was founded on a promise of equal rights for all, and we have always managed to move closer to that promise, little by little, one day at a time. It may not be easy, but we’ll get there together."

I had tears in my eyes listening to Ms. Lynch speak so eloquently of acceptance and tolerance and a need to understand anyone who might be different from others.

How is it that her message is portrayed as one of hate by certain so-called men of God and Christian conservative Republicans?

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