Bobservations

This Tale of Carlos is about Carlos and Thomas, the cat.

Years before Carlos and I met, he would walk his dog through the neighborhood and one day he came upon this very large cat sitting on a fence post. As he and the dog passed the cat jumped down and followed them. On the return trip home, the cat climbed back onto the fence post to ... wait for someone else I guess?

This happened for weeks and each day the cat would follow Carlos and the dog closer to Carlos’ house until one day he came into the house and never left. Thomas, he was named, and Carlos took him to the animal hospital where he worked to see if Thomas could be adopted out since no one from the neighborhood claimed him. Carlos gave Thomas in a cat bed on the counter but Thomas wouldn’t lay down; he sat upright and refused to move until a client came in and then he’d scare them by turning his head—many thought he was a stuffed cat.

But no one took him home so Carlos kept him, and I met him a few years later and he was a beast, but a lovable beast. He liked to travel the neighborhood and lay in people’s yards but then come home to us for dinner sand bed. One day Thomas didn’t return and a neighbor came to tell us that their dog had chased Thomas, who by then was too old to run fast, and killed him. The neighbor assumed that a silk orchid and a Publix gift card was the right gift for having your cat killed.

Carlos and I cried because the beast was gone but he had a darn fine life with Carlos, and then me and the dog and seven other cats.

And here he is …

This Tale of Tuxedo is from way back in June 2009 …

Apparently somebody had a rough night, because, right after breakfast, he was back in bed. Perhaps this explains the empty bottle of vodka I found under the couch.

He was his daddy’s boy!

Caitlyn Jenner recently admitted to something we all knew … she’s a hypocrite, who worked against transwomen in sports while she played in the Pro/Am golf circuit … and now she’s playing the Poor Me card. See, she is begging Cankles for help after the gender marker on her passport was changed from female to male and crying about it on Fox News:

“Recently, I had my passport, I had to get it renewed. I sent it back, comes back gender marker ‘M’ … So now … what do I do? This is a safety factor. I can’t travel internationally anymore. I can’t use my passport.”

Neither can any other trans person you coward but you only care about it when it affects you personally even though you voted for it.

Take a fucking seat.

A little-known fact about me was that I ran track in high school and college. I was pretty good except for when we had meets against this other school and I always placed second to this other guy. No matter how I tried I could never ever get ahead of him and to this day I cannot think of why that happened.

That Woman’s facelift is ALLEGEDLY not keeping up with the Kardashian matriarch. Rumor has is that she is very unhappy that her $100,000 facelift is failing almost a year after getting the procedure done. And so now she’s looking into a “revision” after comparing her results to those of her fellow celebrities …

… Before her new face completely slides off and reveals her actual lizard mug.

See, l

Poor Kristi DogKiller Noem has had a rough few weeks ... after getting fired mid-speech at a Nashville conference ... and after ALLEGEDLY finding out about her husband Bryon’s bimbofication fetish ... after claiming to be “blindsided” by Byron’s addiction until the story broke that Bryon had gone to a Christian-based counseling back rehab in January which she knew about.

See, like Cankles, when Kristi’s lips move she’s either lying or blowing Corey on a jet. But now it appears that Cankles—who humiliated her by promising  a fake job to make sure she missed the filing deadline to run for a Senate seat—is about to hire Cameron Hamilton to run FEMA … a year after Noem fired him from that job.

Karma is a bitch, and somewhere Cricket the dog is laughing!

Remember when the Texas GOP voted to redraw the districts in their state to give an edge to the Rapist-Racist-Fascist-Pedophile In-Chief and then cheered at the thought of taking away the will of the people?

Well, in Virginia they put a redistricting measure on the ballot and the people of Virginia voted Yes.

Guess which outcome has the GOP in tears?

Matteo Ferri is a 25-year-old Italian model now based in New York City, you know, so he’s close by … soooooo, Would You Hit It?

Bobservations

So I come home from work Monday night and chat with Carlos as I change clothes; I tell him I’m going to do some laundry and he says:

“I did a couple of loads already today.”

And I was in heaven because I didn’t really want to do laundry but it’s my task around the house and it was lovely that he’d done it while I was at work, but then … I took my clothes to put into the clothes hamper and it was full; full?

“I thought you said you did laundry?”

“I did; I washed the things on my chair because I didn’t have any clean t-shirts.”

“So you did your t-shirts?”

“Yeah.”

I loved him for trying … and then I did an actual two loads of laundry, bless his heart.

This Tuxedo Says is from June 2020 …

Tuxedo is done with the ‘use of force’ bull shit when the job can be done just as easily without it.

Sidenote: this is quite timely in light of that man in New York being found not guilty of choking another man to death on the subway.

Is anyone really surprised that there is not one single woman or any person of color leading any House committee for the first time in twenty years after the GOP revealed their list of committee leaders for the 119th Congress last week?

The 17 standing committees, whose leaders were selected by the House Republican Steering Committee, will be dominated by white men.

Ain’t that America.

Madonna had fans, er fan, in a frenzy after she shared AI-generated photos of her and Pope Francis getting handsy on her Instagram Story. The first photo depicted Frankie hugging Madge from the side, his nose pressed against her cheek, with a huge smile across his face. In the second photo he appears to be whispering sweet nothings into her good ear.

Am I the only one who thinks her plastic surgeon pulled her face too tight and squeezed all the oxygen from her brain?

Dear Time magazine, I can’t help but think that maybe this is what you meant to put on your cover but thanks to Vanity Fair for showing you the way.

The judge in the  E. Jean Carroll case against The Felon called him a rapist for what he did and the later, in an interview with ABC News, George Stephanopoulos reported that fact, but then The Felon got butt-hurt at being called a rapist … again … and sued ABC and the networks instantly caved and will give $15M to The Felon Library to settle the lawsuit.

ABC now has zero credibility.

The House Ethics Committee secretly voted earlier this month to release its report into the sexual misconduct of former Reprehensible Representative Matt Gaetz before the end of this Congress.

And now Matty is threatening to squeal on everyone in Congress.

Good. Do it.

Denis Jovanovic began his modeling career at age 14 after he got scouted on Facebook. He was soon modeling for renowned fashion houses like  Dolce & Gabbana ,Roberto Cavalli, Stone Island … but Would You Hit It?

Bobservations

A friend of ours directs theater productions here in South Carolina and every so often does a little something for our local Fine Arts Center; Larry last produced and directed To Kill A Mockingbird which was wonderful.

Now he’s set to direct a production of Hairspray and he knew that Carlos played the trumpet and asked me if Carlos would be interested in playing with the orchestra for Hairspray.

Would he?

So I texted Carlos and told him I was giving his number to Larry so he could get in contact and discuss the opportunity and my husband, love of life, laugh of my heart, texted me back … wait for it, it’s totally Carlos … his phone number.

I showed the text to Larry and he said:

“Does he think you don’t have his phone number?”

“I don’t know, maybe he was too busy thinking about Hairspray curtain calls and how deep he should curtsy.”

That’s my Carlos.

This Tuxedo Says is from June 2020:

While he generally likes most people, and is not at all skittish, Tuxedo, like his daddy, has an extremely low tolerance for stupid.

Note: the people who are upset about Luigi Mangione being made into a folk hero seem to have forgotten that they made Kenosha Murderer Kyle Rittenhouse into one.

I am getting a Children of the Corn Cakes vibe this morning and I am not all that terrified.

There'll be a plethora of new faces in DC come January when the convicted felon takes the White House again. Well, not so much new faces as new faces on old bodies …

Many in the Felon’s inner circle appear to have gone under the plastic surgeons’ knife, creating what is now being dubbed the 'Mar-a-Lago' face, which is defined by copious use of Botox, a Miami-bronze tan, puffy lips and silky smooth skin.

Sorry folks, you can tighten and tuck and laser and nip and fill it and inject it but you’re still as hideous on the outside as you are on the inside.

The weather down here in South Carolina is nuts … 19 degrees one morning and 65 degrees the next, and then back down to twenty degrees and up to fifty-seven the next day.

My nipples are exhausted.

Jeff Kasser, model, actor, Only Fans star and a new addition to Would You Hit it … of note, on Only Fans Jeff apparently gets hit, a lot. 

Bobservations

We all know about Carlos’ eyesight and his limited knowledge of popular, or current culture, so here’s a little tale about that.

One rainy Sunday I was curled up in a living room chair watching TV and Carlos came into the room:

“What are you watching? Will & Grace?”

‘Why that show? What makes you think it’s Will & Grace?”

“I hear a man and a woman talking and there’s laughing.”

“So any time you hear a TV show with a man and woman talking and laughing it’s Will & Grace?”

“I don’t know … “

“Why don’t you just ask, ‘What are you watching?’

This past weekend I was watching a movie and Carlos enters the room:

“What are you watching? The Terminator?”

“Why that movie?”

“I don’t know. I thought I heard a robot.”

“Why don’t you say, ‘What are you watching?’”

“What are you watching?”

“Spiral.”

“I don’t know that movie.”

“Sigh … I know.”

The man slays me.

This Tuxedo Memory is from March 2019 and is entitled ‘Lazy Weekend ...For Some of Us’

 "We spent the morning on Friday getting the taxes done and were surprised to see we were getting a rather healthy refund.

That was nice. But then, with the onset of spring, and some slightly warmer days, there were lawns to mow and hedges to trim, and a ten-foot-tall holly bush off the deck that needed to be reshaped for spring; a little help with the ladder and I was able to give Holly a haircut.

Sunday was Carlos' turn in the yard and trimming bushes and replanting a tree and weeding along the fence.

Fun times. But we did manage to squeeze in some time with Tuxedo on the deck. Our cats don't go outside because, living in a somewhat rural area, there are all kinds of things they can catch from critters that roam through our yard. Still, Tuxedo is allowed out, and on the table on the deck, but only with supervision, AKA me, and only when it's nice and sunny for him to warm his bones, and then take a breather in the sun.

Not a bad life, really, for us, and Tuxedo.”

I miss those days on the deck with my Boy and my Man.

The Felon’s campaign may talk a big game, but when faced with potential legal action from Beyoncé, they folded like the ill-fitting, makeup-stained suit of their candidate.

On Thursday, Beyoncé issued a cease and desist to The Felon’s campaign after spokesperson Steven Cheung posted a video on social media featuring DonOLD deplaning in Michigan, soundtracked to Beyoncé’s song “Freedom.”

“Freedom” is, of course, the official campaign theme song of Vice President Kamala Harris—a choice that Beyoncé personally approved, so naturally The Felon tried to steal it.

In the Sorry Not Sorry file comes news that former Representative current convicted felon George Santos’ campaign has $562 in cash on hand but also owes $786,932 in debt.

Santos faces at least two years in federal prison for identity theft and up to 20 years in prison for wire fraud.

I don’t think he can all that back even working full-time in the prison laundry.

I guess if you’re a cowboy and you’ll be riding horses all day, it helps to come equipped with the extra padding.

h/t to Voenix Rising

The man who calls himself The Felon’s Prophet, Johnny Enlow, has a very exciting announcement: a big-time celebrity is going to endorse The Felon! And even better that celebrity is … dead. Or maybe a celebrity who faked his or her death? Or a celebrity zombie?

We won’t know right away because Enlow claims he’s “not yet allowed” to reveal the name of the dead celebrity.

Dead celebrities can be hard to work with, I’m guessing.

The so-called “Catwoman,” Jocelyn Wildenstein has given the world a look at her original face. The Swiss socialite, 82, looked like a blond bombshell lounging on a couch with her daughter Diane sitting on her lap. With her hair coiffed in a wavy bob, Wildenstein appeared casual and chic while peering off into the distance.

But then she did this … and then this and Catwoman was born.

And now she looks like this … and then this after having gone through multiple face lifts, eye lifts and more.

Jocelyn’s post comes after she claimed her late ex-husband Alec Wildenstein’s family cutting her off from her $100 million annual divorce settlement payment and so now, to make a few coins to pay for any future renovations to her face, Jocelyn is making a documentary about her life and faces.

This is Uriah Harris. He’s a model, trainer, lifestyle coach, has a nice smile and a pretty body, so I ask: Would You Hit It?