Bankruptcy Attorney Offers To Help Bigot Mechanic ... and It's Highlarious

So, after Brian Klawiter [left] came out and said he would never ever service the car of a gay person at his auto repair shop, Dieseltec, in Grand Rapids, Michigan, a local  bankruptcy attorney, Jeffrey Mapes [right], decided to offer his assistance for when Klawiter goes belly up because of his hate:

Dear Dieseltec:

Allow me to introduce myself, my name is Jeffrey Mapes, and I specialize in bankruptcy law — helping individuals and corporations when things go wrong. I noticed your post on Facebook where you decided to alienate most of the general public by stating that you will refuse service to openly homosexual people. This is certainly an unorthodox business strategy, and perhaps it will work for you, but I get the feeling you will need a bankruptcy attorney pretty soon and I wanted to offer my services. Like you, I am white, male, Christian, a business owner, and a gun owner. Unlike you, I provide services to everyone regardless of their sexual orientation because it doesn’t matter to me — I hope this won’t be a deal breaker for you.

If that upsets you, let me tell you a little bit more about our office to try and persuade you, The first thing you will notice is how friendly and compassionate the office staff is. Despite your inane, incoherent and just plain dumb comments, we know that everyone makes mistakes and we want to help you overcome them. They will also be more than willing to help you with some basic grammar that you seem to struggle with.

If you still need more convincing, let me assure you that we will make certain that your bankruptcy petition is filed correctly and there are no errors. You stated in your post that you would incorrectly assemble a vehicle in order to prove a point. I want to let you know that despite the fact that I would love to prove a point to you about tolerance, I won’t compromise my standards of quality to do so. After all, I have to look in the mirror at the end of the day and if I didn’t do my best for everyone, I would have trouble sleeping. Perhaps you could give me pointers on how you sleep at night?

Just a few other housekeeping items. While I certainly don’t encourage people to bring guns into my office, so long as you have the proper permit and handle it responsibly, you can bring your gun along. I would only ask that you refrain from menacingly stroking your weapon while you quietly sing David Allen Coe songs to yourself. I also think you have a deep and fundamental misunderstanding of the first amendment and how it works, but that is a long discussion and we should save that for when we meet in person.

Well Dieseltec, I hope I’ve convinced you that Mapes Law Offices is the right place for you to file your bankruptcy. I would like to leave you with some words of inspiration from the dramatic film Billy Madison and I hope that you will take them to heart:

“What you’ve just said is one of the most insanely idiotic things I have ever heard. At no point in your rambling, incoherent response were you even close to anything that could be considered a rational thought. Everyone in this room is now dumber for having listened to it. I award you no points, and may God have mercy on your soul.”

Sincerely,

Jeffrey D. Mapes

Loving it!

via Towleroad

Jeffrey Mapes photo

Brian Klawiter photo

Brian Klawiter Really Hates The Gays and He Wants You To Know It

Brian Klawiter, the owner of Dieseltec, an auto repair shop in Grandville, Michigan, went on a Facebook tear the other day posting this to his company’s page:

Enough is enough.

Our rights as conservative Americans are being squashed more and more everyday. Apparently if you are white (or close to it), you have a job, go to church, and own a gun… That translates into racists, privileged, bigot, conspiracy theorist. Too many of us say nothing.

Well, freedom of speech isn’t just for Liberals, THEY are the ones that need to learn to “co-exist”, THEY are the ones who need to WORK to be “equal”

Therefore, in the spirit of freedom (whats left of it) and MY right to operate MY business as I see fit:

Guns ARE allowed at DIESELTEC, so much so in fact that we will offer a discount if you bring in your gun. (“On duty” cops are excluded because thats not their gun, thats my gun bought with my money, off duty absolutely!)

I am a Christian. My company will be run in a way that reflects that. Dishonesty, thievery, immoral behavior, etc. will not be welcomed at MY place of business. (I would not hesitate to refuse service to an openly gay person or persons. Homosexuality is wrong, period. If you want to argue this fact with me then I will put your vehicle together with all bolts and no nuts and you can see how that works.)

We, as a team, work hard for whats ours. We are not protected by unions or contracts. We absolutely MUST provide our customers with a service level that would make them come back or tell their friends about us. We don’t have a “right”, and we are not “entitled” to our pay. We must EARN it.

I am not racists, you are for assuming I am, however, I am really quick to judge… if it acts like a duck, and quacks like a duck…It IS a free country and I support your right to your opinion, that being said, if you don’t like what I have to say I reserve that same right to tell you to go cry to your momma (cause your daddy would probably smack ya’, better yet, yes, go tell your dad.)

Wow; a white straight Christian gun-toting conservative man feels disenfranchised; what is the world coming to? And let's not even discuss the illiteracy of Brian Klawiter. I think, rather than ranting about The Gays, he needs to graduate elementary school first.

Of course, as soon as I heard the story I felt a sense of déjà vu, thinking this might turn out to be another Memories Pizza “Money Grab,” where those so-called Christians start a GoFundMe page to help out these poor unfortunate bigots; it’s the new welfare, y’all, say you hate The gays and then suddenly say you’ve been threatened and people will burn down your business, and, voila, a charity has been set up in your name … which is exactly what happened until GoFundMe shut it down.

But what bothers me the most is the part about “openly gay” people:

“I would not hesitate to refuse service to an openly gay person or persons. Homosexuality is wrong, period. If you want to argue this fact with me then I will put your vehicle together with all bolts and no nuts and you can see how that works.”

He won’t help me because I’m gay; and as for anyone who disagrees with his views, well, he’s seems to be threatening to intentionally vandalize their cars to prove his point; how very Christian of Brian Klawiter. I guess he figures that’s how God works.

Klawiter says won’t ask his clients if they’re gay, but wants everyone to know that he will not tolerate “outward” affectionate behavior between same-sex couples.

Gosh, I’m thinking back on all the times Carlos and I have taken our cars to be serviced, and, while waiting for the mechanic, have made out in one of the bays because, you know, that what The Gays do.

Here’s the queer: I think Brian Klawiter started all this mess because he saw how Memories Pizza made a nice little nest egg of cash when they vented their hate; and he saw the same happen for Barronelle Stutzman, that Bigot florist in Washington. He thought he’d ride The Hate Wagon through the internet and folks would just throw money at him; they aren’t.

And now, because of his antics, everyone in Grandville, and in Michigan, and around the world, knows that Brian Klawiter is a bigot and a homophobe and can all decide to take their business elsewhere. And naturally, when Brian Klawiter loses business he’ll blame The Gays and not his own homophobia.

Way to go Brian, way to go.

UPDATE: Brian doesn't have a business license for his Bigot Garage. I guess God forgot to fill out the paperwork for him ...

via WoodTV 

image via KTVZ