Bobservations

Last week our espresso machine frothed its last milk, and while we await the arrival of her replacement, we have been using a French Press for morning caffeine.

Carlos makes the coffee, which requires him to, and this might be difficult, put water in a pan, put said pan on stove, cover said pan, turn on burner, wait for water to boil, pour water into French Press, let coffee steep.

Well, one morning there was half a French Press of coffee because Carlos hadn’t filled it up, and this morning it happened again. I suggested that, with his eyesight, he put the water in the French Press first and then pour that into the pan and boil it. That way the right amount of water is boiled, and this is what he said:

“I thought I filled it up all the way. I boiled the water and when I was pouring it, I heard it go ‘glub glub glub’ and so I stopped because I thought it was full.”

Glub … Glub … Glub. That could have been Consuelo hair balling in the next room.

Once again, I shamefully admit that I was born in Mississippi, but also offer up the fact that I left when I was six-months-old before the state had a chance to ‘groom’ me into racism and ignorance.

Wisconsin Representative Tom Tiffany just Tweeted out that Joe Biden came after your guns, and then came after your Free Speech, and now he’s coming for your gas stoves.

I wish Joe had actually come for this asshat’s ability to run for Congress since he’s an ignorant lying POS.

To paraphrase on of my favorite Seinfeld episodes, “These cakes are real, and they're spectacular.”

Most Arizona voters disapprove of Senator-For-Now Kyrsten Sinema for leaving the Democratic party so much so that no party, Democrat, Republican, or Independent, have a favorable opinion of her.

Some 50% of Arizonan Republicans disapprove of Sinema, and 59% of Democrats don't like her and 48% are Team Anyone Else.

,Good luck on the reelection bid, wingnut.

I was at the grocery store the other day, and as I grabbed a few potatoes, standing at the back of my cart, this elderly woman reached in front of me, took my cart by the handle, and shoved it out of her way. I said:

“You could have said ‘Excuse me,’ and I would have made room for you to pass.”

“I didn’t see you so I took care of it myself.”

I wanted to tell her to get her eyes checked, but I also wanted to shove her raggedy ass into one of beer coolers, but instead I said no more and walked away. But then, as luck would have it, when we were checking out, she showed up in the same line behind me, with her basket, and said, oh so sweetly:

“Would you mind if I went ahead? I’ve just got a few things.”

I smiled and said:

“Why ask? Why not just shove my cart out of the way.”

I didn’t let her ahead of me.

Those of you who think Prince Harry speaking out about press abuse & family gaslighting by telling his own story while senior royals removed his and Meghan’s security detail, and yet have no issue whatsoever with those same royals allowing Prince Andrew to not only keep his security, but to pay £12 million to a sex trafficking victim 'he never met' is the REAL outrage. 

Last week in my Fashion Roundup for the Golden Globes I trashed Heidi Klum for her, ahem, lack of fashion choices, but one woman, artist Angelica Hicks, did me one better by recreating Heidi’s sequined and feathered dress using nothing but aluminum foil and a sanitary pad painted with purple eyeshadow.

Nailed it. Heidi should have worn Tin Foil and Tampons.

I don’t know much about David Boas, other than he’s a model and has some pretty fabulous hair and likes wearing as little clothing as possible. But the real question is, Would You Hit It?

The Funny Papers

Kevin Siers, Mike Luckovich, Michael de Adder, Bill Bramhall, David Horsey, Px Molina, Ed Wexler, Nick Anderson, Drew Sheneman, Ed Hall, Mike Smith, Dave Granlund, Deb Milbrath, Clay Bennett

Meme Dump

Bobservations

Monday morning I walked into our home office and Carlos said to me:

“You know what I want for my birthday? A new pair of pants like these.”

I looked at his pants and countered with:

“You know what I want for my birthday? You, not telling me what to get for your birthday in 12 weeks, and instead of that you talking about my birthday in two days.”

That’s my way of saying it’s my birthday today and we will be gone for the weekend.

I will return on Monday!

And for those who don’t see the hypocrisy, know that this president and not the former guy, called that reporter the very same day and apologized for what he said.

Something Thing 45 has never done.

PS  Joe calling Doocey that was an early birthday gift for me, I think!

If you've seen No Time to Die, you know Daniel Craig is not returning to the role. And that means the search is on to find the next 007, and according to Bond producer Barbara Broccoli, Idris Elba's name is firmly in the hat.

His name should be on the script. Okay? Give that to me for my birthday!

Sarah Palin, who just last week said she would take the COVID vaccine over, ahem, her “dead body” has tested positive for the virus.

Dreams do come true … for my birthday.

I have been watching Showtime’s Billions since it premiered because it features some really great actors, notably one Paul Giamatti who plays Chuck Rhodes. Last season, Rhodes’ nemesis Bobby Axelrod, played by Damien Lewis, left the show, and was replaced by Corey Stoll.

Stoll and his smirk and his wink-and-a-nod performance, along with his fabulously bald head, float my boat.

That’s it; that’s the post. Corey Stoll with icing on his bald head for me to lick off.

Sure it’s Camden, and this is a bit much, but I think it screams It’s My Birthday!! ! And I’m a big ol homo!!

Last week I bought a chicken to make sandwiches and, well, it doesn’t. It just shits all over the floor.

What am I doing wrong? I mean, it’s my birthday!!

The executive committee of the Arizona Democratic Party [ADP] formally censured U.S. Senator Kyrsten Sinema over her vote against changing rules in the chamber to steer through voting rights legislation.

Now it’s up to the people of Arizona to vote her ass from office and send her back to obscurity. Wouldn’t that make a lovely birthday gift?

In what is surely a rip-off of Weekend At Bernie’s, this week two men in Ireland, brought a dead man into a post office in an attempt to collect his pension.

The deceased man was propped up by two other men, which clearly alerted the staff who contacted emergency services and police rushed to the scene.

Life imitates art … and gives me a good laugh … for my birthday.

This is Will Willets, a model represented by Silver Fox Management. His ideal holiday is lying in a hammock with a margarita on a Mexican beach … now that’s a birthday present … but the question is: Would You Hit It?