It's Snarkurday!

Too bad his mother isn’t still around to smack some sense into him, because his father is not doing a thing.

Last week, Redmond O’Neal, son of Ryan O’Neal and Farrah Fawcett, was arrested in Santa Monica for robbing a convenience store with a knife and is being held on $50,000 bail and is due in court on Thursday.

According to police, Redmond walked into the store armed with a knife and demanded the clerk to take out money from the register. After grabbing the cash, Redmond fled on foot and was arrested nearby.

Redmond has a long history of drug abuse; in 2011., Ryan said his son was a mess because he “never recovered from the loss of his mother”.But, yeah, Farrah Fawcett died in 2009; Redmond was arrested for possession of coke and meth in 2005, and in 2008 matching vials of meth were found in both Redmond and Ryan’s bedrooms.

In September 2011, Redmond’s probation was revoked after he admitted to using narcotics in court-ordered rehab that was imposed after he pleaded no contest to felony gun possession and heroin possession in August 2011.

In July 2015, Redmond was sentenced to three years in the California Department of Corrections and Rehabilitation but was credited for nearly a year served by his trial judge.

He’s just thirty-three, but Daddy’s still making excuses for him.

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Katy Perry must have realized her role as bothersome yappy kid sister on American Idol won’t last forever, and so she’s trying to find a new way back into the press … by offering a literal olive branch to frenemy—former frenemy—Taylor Swift. But Katy also knows that she gets a lot of press over the drama she creates and if she’s gonna play nice with TayTay, she’ll need a new feud to keep her name out there.

And along comes RiRi. Rumor has it their friendship fizzled when Katy started dating Orlando Bloom …again … and the pair hadn’t been seen together for well over a year. It was fueled when Rihanna was asked if she’d watch Katy on American Idol and RiRi said:

“It depends on how bored I am.”

Ouch. Now, cut to the Met Gala and the story that the two women were “forced” to take a picture together on the red carpet, and then, slam of all slams, Katy wasn’t invited to RiRi’s Met Gala after-party.

Ouch; and there’s more tea according to a “source”:

“Rihanna was chairing the Met Gala [and] had to pose with a lot of the celebrity guests but it was really uncomfortable when she was asked to have the photo with Katy. They used to be close but Rihanna’s expression in the photo says it all. Katy was upset about the whole situation because Rihanna was cold to her and she wasn’t invited to her after-party.”

Well, RiRi does look less-than-thrilled to be standing with Katy. Or maybe it’s because one of those bat wings clipped her pope’s hat.

Anyway, Katy, way to end one feud and score another. I’ll begin the countdown until Katy and TayTay start Mean Girling Rihanna. And laughing because Rihanna won’t care.

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Back in In March, the police were called twice in 24 hours to Tori Spelling’s house for “domestic” issues. Tori called police the first time, fearing there was a robbery in progress late at night, but it was just her husband Dean sneaking back into the house.

The next morning, Dean called emergency services on Tori, claiming she was flipping out and acting aggressive—a call that was characterized by dispatch as “female mental illness”—though it turns out to have been caused by Tori’s stress of being a mother to her five kids.

And so how does Tori Spelling fix this mess? She wants another baby.

Of course, she’s angling for another “reality” show, so a pregnancy could be seen as more coins in the contract because, you know, when you have no job, no discernible talent, and are married to a deadbeat dad, have a baby for TV.

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Oops, Baby Daddy Drama … in the Kardastrophe Klan.

Tim Chung is a member of the LAPD, but also moonlights as a bodyguard to celebrities and was on Kylie Jenner’s security detail for a while, right before she got pregnant. And then rumors started that maybe Tim Chung is the true father of Baby Stormi, and in the way he responded, well, he raised more questions than answers.

Chung took to his Instagram, which has a following of over 735,000, to say:

“I am a very private person and would normally never answer to gossip and stories that are so ridiculous that they are laughable. Out of deep respect for Kylie, Travis, their daughter together and their families, I would like to set the record straight that my interactions with Kylie and her family have been limited in strictly a professional capacity only. There is no story here and I ask that the media no longer include me in any narrative that is incredibly disrespectful to their family.”

I find it odd that this police officer used the very same media that all Kardastrophe’s use to try and quash a rumor. And he has three-quarters of a million followers?

Uh huh.

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On May 8th, someone named Pauley Perrette appeared in her final episode on something called NCIS and that’s when the real drama started. Pauley never offered an explanation for why she was leaving the show but now a story has emerged.

Pauley got real on Twitter—cuz that’s where one gets real—and sent out a series of tweets implying she was the victim of multiple physical assaults and a powerful cover-up on the set of the show:

“I refused to go low, that's why I've never told publicly what happened. But there are tabloid articles out there that are telling total lies about me. If you believe them? Please leave me alone. You clearly don't know me.”

And that was followed with:

“Maybe I'm wrong for not ‘spilling the beans’ Telling the story, THE TRUTH. I feel I have to protect my crew, jobs and so many people. But at what cost? I.don't.know. Just know, I'm trying to do the right thing, but maybe silence isn't the right thing about crime. I'm... Just... ?”

And then more passive aggressive gibberish:

“There is a ‘machine' keeping me silent, and feeding FALSE stories about me. A very rich, very powerful publicity ‘machine’. No morals, no obligation to truth, and I'm just left here, reading the lies, trying to protect my crew. Trying to remain calm. He did it.”

And then another hint:

“I've been supporting ant-bullying programs forever. But now I KNOW because it was ME! If it's school or work, that you're required to go to? It's horrifying. I left. Multiple Physical Assaults. I REALLY get it now. Stay safe. Nothing is worth your safety. Tell someone.”

That ‘false story’ she mentions might be the Radar Online story of how she was fired from the show due to a fight with star, and hottie, Mark Harmon. The rumor was that Perrette and Harmon fought like cats and dogs … over his dog; see, ALLEGEDLY, Harmon’s pit-bull rescue bit a crewmember and was barred from the set, but a year later, Harmon was allowed to bring the dog back. Perrette was incensed and refused to work with Harmon—and apparently, they had very few scenes together this past year and almost none together in her last episode—and was ultimately allowed to quit.

CBS issued a vague explanation about something:

“Pauley Perrette had a terrific run on NCIS and we are all going to miss her. Over a year ago, Pauley came to us with a workplace concern. We took the matter seriously and worked with her to find a resolution. We are committed to a safe work environment on all our shows.”

So, who really knows what happened? No one, at least until Perrette starts Tweeting again and this time actually says something.

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I’ll give it to That Woman, you know, the head of the Kardastrophe Klan, she knows how to make the coins. I mean, when her daughter’s boyfriend shopped around a sex tape, That Woman used it to get the family a TV show, so she can clearly take any situation and make it a money-maker.

Now, she’s doing press for her partnership with Bumble Bizz, a “networking” offshoot of the dating app, about finding a new minion someone to bone assistant and she spoke to the Huffington Post about it.

But HuffPo was more interested in Kylie Jenner spent an episode of last season’s Keeping Up With The Kardashians thinking an employee was trying to take photos of her before she announced her pregnancy, and how That Woman wanted the person killed maimed fired:

“Unfortunately, there are some bad people out there who have not good intentions. And, you know, I obviously can’t control that. But to the best of my ability, we try to have people on our team who have our back, who we feel that we can really trust.”

See, if anyone was gonna spills the beans about the knocked-up daughter, it would be That Woman, and she would pocket the coins that came from it. She acts almost like a Mark Harmon pit-bull and says she will go after anyone who dares speak the Kardastrophe name to the press …well, anyone who isn’t a Kardastrophe and making a profit from it:

“We obviously will go to and spare] no expense to hold somebody accountable if that happens on our team. I don’t care how much money somebody might have ― if they have nothing. Some people think, ‘Oh, I don’t have any money, and they’re not going to sue me.’ Well, we’ll take payments.’ We’ll garner those wages for, you know, the next 10 years. But I just think that people don’t think. It’s a foolish thing to do.”

Who the f**k does she think she is, Don Corleone? I mean, if someone crosses her are they gonna wake up one morning with Kim's old ass in their bed?

Seriously; she’d sue a homeless person if he took a picture of Kylie’s baby bump … or Kim’s inflatable ass …or Khloe’s filled-to-the-brim lips …or That Woman’s cloven hooves and horned tail …or simply went against The Family.

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I Ain't One To Gossip, But....

Kris Jenner, mom and fame-whore manager, is pissed at daughter  Khloé  Kardashian for supporting her husband Lamar Odom's idea to pull the plug on their reality show.

Her daughter supports her husband's decision to live their lives as much outside the spotlight as possible, and mom is angry. Yeah, that's normal.

Khloé and Lamar decided to not do a third season of their E! reality spin-off show, so Lamar could focus on his career, which is, from what I read, cuz I don't know nuthin' about them sports things, in a downward spiral. The couple's decision on what to do with their own lives has put them at odds with Kris, who never met a dollar sign she didn't want to screw.

A family insider, and I'm sure their name starts with a 'K' says,  "The idea to pull the plug on the show was all Lamar's. He felt that it was becoming a distraction and Khloé fully supported her husband. Lamar just isn't in a good place right now, he is dealing with his ailing father and trying to get back into shape so he can sign with an NBA team. Kris doesn't think it was necessary for them to not do another season of the show though and told them that Ryan Seacrest's production team would work with Khloé and Lamar to film less. Kris told Khloé that viewers could be inspired by what they are going through right now because the unemployment rate is so high. However, Khloé isn't budging and told her mom there will be no show, period. This is the problem when a mother makes money off of her kids, it could cloud her judgement."

What kind of mother wouldn't support their own child's decisions on how they choose to live? oh, yeah, a mom like Kris Jenner who gets a 10 percent commission on all of her children and Lamar's deals that she has brokered. 

It's not about parenting to Kris Jenner, it's about her bank account.

This is rich.

Charlie Sheen is threatening to sue New York strip club Cheetahs for millions, claiming the club now has a VIP room named in his honor--where guests eat sushi off the bodies of scantily clad women.

Charlie says, and forgive me for giggling, that this damages his reputation.

He feels that allowing guest, for just $250 a person, to eat raw fish off the half-nekkid body of a high-class pole dancer, in a room festooned with pictures of grinning, sometimes toothless, almost always drug addled, Charlie Sheen, is bad for his career.

Unless, of course, Charlie gets a cut.

Sam Zherka, president of the company that owns Cheetahs, says the Charlie Sheen room was created over a year ago because: “We figured it would be comical to name a room after him. It was a room where you could dine on sushi served on cellophane on the body of one of our entertainers, not where you do crack.“

Oh, snap.

Then came notification from Sheen's team of round-the-clock lawyers to cease and desist, claiming the usage of his name would be detrimental to Sheen's persona.

"How could sushi damage Charlie Sheen’s reputation?” Zherka mused. “We thought dedicating a room to dine in his honor would help repair and elevate his image. He should have called us up and thanked us.“

But, Cheetahs blinked first, and the Sheen room is no more, although there was one last hurrah where all the pictures of Crazy Charlie were tossed into a dumpster.

Kinds like the real thing.

So, Lindsay.

It seems Original Recipe Lohan was actually on her best behavior at the White House Correspondents dinner, even though she did miss her plane because she was late. A habit for the cracktress. And she looked pretty good, except for the semi-deflated balloon lips she's trying to loose before playing Liz Taylor in a Craptime, er, lifetime, movie.

There were no stories of Lohan Drink Tossing, and no fisticuffs with rising politicos, although rumor has it Lohan was bitching at her assistant almost non-stop.

Get me a drink, and put it in a water bottle so people think I'm sober.

That kinda thing.

And there was some spin that Lohan , on one of her many trips to the bathroom, met an elderly Latina cleaning woman in the ladies’ room, and told her:"You’re too old to be doing this kind of work.” 

And then she ALLEGEDLY gave the woman a $100 tip.

Now, two things: where did Lohan get a C-note, and if she had one, you know darn well she'd be using it for vodka and Vicodin.

Oh, yeah, and while she chainsmoked almost all night long, she was telling people it was part of her "research"to play Taylor.

No, not Rip Taylor.

Ryan O'Neal.

The new face of Pathetic, a gossip magazine where stars tell the most horrid stories about themselves just to make a buck.

O'Neal is making the rounds, peddling a book he "wrote" about his life with Farrah Fawcett, but somehow he makes himself the victim of Farrah’s moods and made her death all about him. 

And, when it came to talking about his kids, all of them, except Patrick who was raised by his mother, who have had their share of drug dram and arrests, he admitted he was a "bad parent".

Still, O'Neal barely remembered to mention his youngest child, Redmond, with Farrah, when he, perhaps jokingly, asked, “Who’s the other one? Redmond.” Either way, it came across as cruel.

Ryan, suffering from pancreatic cancer and leukemia, spares no one in his stories. Rumor had it that he used to party hard, drugs and booze style, with Redmond, which lead to Redmond's addictions and drug arrests and rehab stints. 

And in daughter Tatum's biography A Paper Life, she tells of the neglect, and physical and emotional abuse she suffered as a child. Tatum tells about the friend of her father's who molested her, and how, at the age of 12 she was taken to an orgy by then 17 year-old Melanie Griffith, who was dating 34-year-old Ryan, at the time.

Loverly.

Look for Ryan on the inaugural issue of Pathetic at your local newsstand.

Lotsa folks--and I include myself--believe Queen Latifah is gay, though she's never said a word about it to anyone. Publicly.

But, there were all the stories about her life with personal trainer, Jeanette Jenkins, and how they bought a house together. And then came the pictures of Queen and Jenkins, on that yacht, where they were all huggy and groping. 

And then came stories that Queen dumped Jenkins and is now dating a woman named Eboni Nichols. Eboni and Latifah were even photographed together at last year’s US Open. 

Now, she does get a half-assed pass from me for not publicly coming out--as bisexual or gay--because she's never done that I haven't found the right guy interview and she's never done the I'm straight dammit press tour. 

But that may be changing.

Maybe Latifah is tired of life in the Glass Closet, or maybe she's just looking for a gig, but either way, she'll be headlining at this year’s Long Beach Lesbian & Gay Pride Festival.

Will she come out? I would like that. It would do a lot for young Black girls who are Lesbian and closeted.

Will she not come out? Well, lots of straight performers perform at Pride events, so her appearance there isn't a lock on her Lesbianism.

Still....come out, come out, wherever you are, Latifah.

Lotsa folks wringing their hands over Lindsay Lohan’s casting as Elizabeth Taylor.

And for good reason. 

Even though it’s just a low budget, cheap-assed Lifetime disaster-to-be, it’s the principle of the thing.

Lindsay is no Liz Taylor.

I mean, she is considered one of the great beauties of the 20th century--No, not Lohan--and was a great actress--No, not Lohan,--a brilliant activist for AIDS--No, not Lohan--and a fabulous philanthropist--NO! Not Lindsay!

So, how does anyone think that kind of person needs to be portrayed, even on the small screen, by convicted criminal,jewel thief, alcoholic, drug addicted, car-jacking, kidnapping, Lohan.

Oops, forgot to add ALLEGEDLY.

And, even Elizabeth’s family is furious that Lindsay Lohan's casting as Taylor.

A family friend--okay, it was me--told the Enquirer: “Liz’s sons, Michael and Chris Wilding, feel there are many other actresses who are far more qualified to play their famous mother. They think gorgeous and talented stars such as Cate Blanchett or Emily Blunt should have been short-listed for the role. Liz deserves better."

Well, I can't imagine Cate or Emily doing a cheesy Lifetime bio-pic, which was why they were never asked, but, come on, there aren't any other TV stars, who don't have a criminal record, and actually have talent, who could play Taylor?

And again, I don't mean Rip Taylor.

Lohan would have been perfect to play Rip.

It looks like it might be a "Skinny Girl Situation."

Rumors are swirling, as they are apt to do, that Bethenny Frankel, the married 41-year-old star of reality TVs Bethenny Ever After recently hooked up with....hang on, I think I threw up a little in my mouth.....The Jersey Shore, um star[?] Mike "The Situation" Sorrentino.

I know. It's like an STDapalooza.

But the cheating scandal is threatening to ruin Frankel's already troubled marriage, and even, maybe, perhaps, fingers crossed, the launch of her new daytime talk show.

It all started with a Blind Item that appeared last October: “Strangest hookup ever…This controversial female married A-list reality star spent a good five minutes making out with this second fiddle reality star who thinks he is way better than he is.”

Then, just last month it was revealed that the subjects of the item were Bethenny and 29-year-old Sorrentino! 

“Bethenny has vehemently denied it, calling the rumor ‘a lot of B.S.,’” a source--and we all know it's Andy Cohen....or Kathy Griffin-- at the Bravo network said. But her husband of two years, Jason Hoppy, isn’t so sure.

“He’s been suspicious for some time because of all the problems they’ve had,” the source continued. “Bethenny’s marriage to Jason has already been hanging by a thread, and this could finally sink it.”

Bethenny is probably more worried about how the rumors might affect her new TV gig, the talk show,which begins test runs on FOX in June.

Yeah, I can kinda see this happening.

Two reality show whores mixing their DNA and then sobering up and realizing it was all a tragic mistake.

Next week, on a very special Bethenny....

It’s been a while since we’ve had any news on the Halle Berry/Gabriel Aubry custody battle. In fact, it’s been downright quiet since Halle “I never will marry….again” Berry announced her engagement to French actor Oliver Martinez. Halle has made it quite clear, though, in her court actions, that she wants to replace Nahla’s father, Gabriel, with Oliver, and wants to do so sooner rather than later.

But Gabriel is  pushing back to assert his parental rights. His latest move involves asking for a “substantial increase” in his child support from Halle, to $20,000 a month.

Now, it may sound like a lot, but, let’s say the situation were reversed, and it was Aubry making the big bucks and Halle making substantially less; we wouldn’t even be having the discussion.

And, adding to the demand for increased child support, Aubry also wants Halle to pay his legal fees, which stand, right now, at about $500,000. Aubry was in court, arguing for the increase, but didn’ty have the proper paperwork, so the judge postponed his decision,

Gabriel believes he’s entitled to the money because he needs a proper environment to care for 4-year-old Nahla, whom Halle wants to take with her, and move to Paris so she can Oui Oui and Oooh la la with Martinez.

Now, as I said, if the genders were reversed, the request for increased support would hardly raise an eyebrow, except for maybe the amount of the increase. But, remember this, while Aubry has been said to make about $700,000 a year as a model, during his time with Berry she often called him a loser for not making as much as she did. Berry’s net worth is estimated at $70 million and reports claim she earns $16 million a year, though, given the number of crap movies she’s been in lately, that’s probably no longer accurate.

So, he probably doesn’t need the money, but this is his way of continuing to assert his parental rights against the woman who wants to take his child out of the country.

Plus, there was that whole abuse claim filed by Team Halle against Aubry that got tossed out of court. 

Lots of folks say Halle is a beautiful woman…..on the outside, only though, it seems

Things I Love And Loathe

The Next Food Network Star is over and Melissa won.

Whoop-Tee-Freakin-Doo! I didn't like her at all.

She portrayed herself as the 'Mom' cooking for stay-at-home moms, but she wasn't a stay-at-home mom. And she had weird eyes. Don't believe me. Find a picture of her--I would post one but, seriously, her eyes scare me--and cover up her mouth. The eyes look mean...even when she's smiling the eyes look mean.

Mean Eyed Melissa the Not-Stay-At-Home Mom.

Pfffft

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Ryan O'Neal hitting on a woman as they load Farah's casket in the hearse?

Some woman hugged him and he asked if she wanted to have a drink or if she had a car. The woman, apparently flustered, could only mutter: "Daddy, it's me, Tatum."

He hits on his own daughter at the funeral of the love of his life.

I've heard of moving on, but this is the Speed Of Light Moving On.

I've heard of I Will Love Again, but not I Will Love Again This Instant.

Pig.

_________________

Birthers.

You're racists.

Simple.

If Obama wasn't black you'd have nothing to say.

So shut up already.

_________________

Members of Congress who are trying to hold up any form of health care reform for the country.

Why do we expect asshats who have access to an amazing health care plan to give a flying fuc....fig about us.

If your representatives and senators fall into that category of not doing anything, write to them and tell them that the next election you will work to vote their flabby do-nothing asses out of office.

And. Then. Do. It.

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"You have to know how much to do and when to do it. I recommend doing a little bit at a time, otherwise you look like you've been through a wind tunnel. Robert Redford looks like he's in the Witness Protection Program. He could actually kill a man and get away with it now."

Joan Rivers on the perils of plastic surgery.

Yes, that Joan Rivers.

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Sixty-something year old women who still act like the Mean Girl from high school. It doesn't get more sad. Or pathetic.

If you can't find happiness in your own life don't try to tear it out of your friend's life.

That, um, isn't friendship.

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Mowing the lawn.

I. Am. Loving. It.

When we bought the house in Smallville Carlos was thrilled to have a lawn to mow--we didn't have one in Miami. Now, on the other hand, I had grown up mowing the lawn for my Mom and Dad and I hated it.

Until now.

I have recently become the de facto grass cutter of our Smallville yard and I love it. it takes a long time, because it's a huuuuge yard, but I love it.

Crazy.

I know!

_________________

Paris Hilton.

Lindsay Lohan.

That's all.

Kibbles'n'Bits

Things that are funny, that bug me, or that I just plain don't like.
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Carlos went on a tear about the History Channel this morning.
The History Channel?
The History Channel.
Seems they did a story on logging and he didn't like it and he wants them to stop showing it.
Choose your sides people.

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In the backwards state of South Carolina the legislature has tabled any discussion of raising the cigarette tax because they can't agree on how to spend the money. South Carolina's cigarette tax is the lowest in the country.
I have never seen so many smokers in my life. It's a wonder there isn't a permanent haze over the entire region.

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Call me callous, but I am not liking the, what I think of as, exploitation of Farrah Fawcett's battle with cancer.
Don't get me wrong, I think it's important to discuss the treatments she's getting because it may give someone else hope in their battle. But do we have to show her son crawling into bed, crying with her? Does it have to get so personal?
I think someone is doing this for the money. Are you listening Ryan?

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Mel Gibson. Homophobe. Anti-Semite. Asshat Catholic.
Divorces his wife and now word is he has a pregnant girlfriend.
Yeah, he's a good Catholic. Pig.
In case you're wondering, um, I don't like him.
Yeah.

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Anyone who knows me knows I do not like Celine Dion.
Almost as much as I don't like Mel. Almost. I never saw Titanic because of her and that damned song.
Sometimes I really wish her heart wouldn't go on.
I know, too much, but still.......So, when I saw this at The Gospel According To Mikey, I knew I'd post it.
Enjoy The Amazing? Celine Dion.

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Lindsay Lohan and Perez Hilton are apparently the most Googled Gays on the Internet.
Quite a pair.
I think the struggle for equality just got harder if these two media-whores are the most Googled Gays.
___________________________

Paris Hilton.

That's all.

This Is So Sad

"Fawcett now spends her days at home, often asleep. 'She stays in bed,' says Ryan O'Neal. 'It's a nice bed.' She receives visits from a few close friends – including fellow Charlie's Angels stars Jaclyn Smith and Kate Jackson and, when able, likes to watch TV, especially Dominick Dunne's cable program Power, Privilege and Justice.

Another visitor has been Fawcett and O'Neal's son Redmond, who, behind bars for a drug-related probation violation, on April 25 was allowed three hours at home with his mother to say what might be his final goodbye. In his jail-issued jumpsuit and in shackles, Redmond is seen in the NBC documentary climbing into his sleeping mother's bed and crying. 'Oh my gosh, my gosh,' he says as he hugs the frail figure next to him. 'Oh, my gosh.' ...

A particularly cruel aspect of the disease is that Fawcett has now lost her iconic golden tresses. 'The hair is gone,' says O'Neal. 'Her famous hair. I have it at home. She didn't care. I rub her head. It's kind of fun, actually, this great, tiny little head. How she carried all that hair I'll never know. She doesn't have a vanity about it.'"

from Towleroad