Random Musings

We ate breakfast together; drove to work together; came home together; ate dinner together. Then, as we’re sitting down in the living room Carlos says to me:

“You got your new glasses.”

“Uh, no, they’ll come in on Friday.”

“Are you sure? Those look like the new ones.”

"Uh, I’ve been wearing these for two years, so, yeah, I’m pretty sure they’re not the new ones that don’t come in until Friday.”

“They look like the new ones.”

And that’s when I reach for a cartoon frying pan to hit him in the head.

So, the foul New Jersey Governor, Chris “Krispy Kreme” Christie, attended a Mets game last night and caught a foul ball.

He was instantly booed ... so he opened wide and ate the ball.

Just sayin’.

So, now that the GOP, in control of the White House, the Senate and the House, cannot get their shiz together to pass a healthcare bill to replace the Affordable Healthcare Act, they have now set their sights on a repeal only mentality.

And it’s a worse idea than GOPDon’tCare ... according to the Congressional Budget Office repealing Obamacare would lead to 27 million uninsured in 2020, and 32 million uninsured by 2026. The CBO also projected that average premiums in the individual health insurance market would rise by about 25% next year, and inch over 50% higher in 2020, doubling by 2026.

Why not just repeal and replace the GOP? Problem solved.

So, _____’s lawyer tried to make the claim that the Secret Service was in attendance at Junior’s secret Collusion Meeting with the Russians last year, but the U.S. Secret Service is saying it ain’t so.

The President-For-Now’s lawyer asked:

“I wonder why the Secret Service, if this was nefarious, why the Secret Service allowed these people in. The president had Secret Service protection at that point, and that raised a question with me.”

The Secret Service snapped back saying Junior “was not a protectee of the USSS in June, 2016. Thus we would not have screened anyone he was meeting with at that time.”

Nice try, ambulance chaser. Now sit down.

In the Nothing To See Here File ... After his much-publicized, two-plus-hour meeting at the G20 with Vladi­mir Putin, it appears that _____ also met informally, and secretly, with Putin for an additional hour later the same day.

The second meeting went unreported at the time.

Like I said, Nothing To See Here ... Except More _____ Lies.

Caitlyn Jenner, Olympic gold medalist, reality show whore, has-been and ALLEGED transgender activist, is said to be thinking of running for the U.S. Senate representing California.

Seriously? Do we need another reality-show-whore with little experience in politics?

Caitlyn, if you wanna help the Trans community, or the LGBT community, why not do it out of the limelight instead of trying to live your life on TV.

California needs real representatives, not Fake Ones ... like soap actor and underwear model Antonio Sabato Jr. who is considering a run to represent the southern central coast and most of Ventura County in Congress.

Dear god ....

In This Can’t Be Good News ... new federal filings show that President _____’s re-election campaign is paying Junior’s defense attorney.

So the reelection money is for Junior’s legal defense? Huh?

And even more odd, is that the money was paid to Junior’s lawyers before the story of his lies and collusion hit the news, which kinda makes it look like they all knew the shiz was headed for the fan.

Lying _____’s? Say it ain’t so.

Delta Airlines has apologized via Twitter to hate-monger Ann Coulter after her Twitter meltdown over having to give up her seat ... and move over two seats, on a recent Delta flight.

Delta Tweeted:

“We’re sorry you did not receive the preferred seat you paid for and will refund your $30.”

Then they added:

“Additionally, your insults about our other customers and employees are unacceptable and unnecessary.”

Snap.

Yes, we’re still watching Will. It’s not as corny and cheese-filled after episode one and, Shallow Bob, there are so hot guys in it and it’s on TNT so you get some bare butts.

Hot Guys; Bare Butts. Two of my Go-To Wants in a TV show ... especially when there is some man-on-man TNT-type action.

So, this week we saw Mattias Inwood and his, dare I exaggerate, glorious ass. Along with Max Bennett as a priest ... a very hot priest.

So, yeah, Shallow Bob is still watching.

Well, it looks like Ryan Lochte, the bubble-brained swimmer who filed a fake police report in Rio last year to hide the fact he, and his friends, were a bunch of drunken vandals, will not be going to jail after all. He was cleared of all charges after an appeals court threw out the criminal charge against the moron.

Still, the idiot paid a fine for being a douche and also received a ten-month suspension from USA Swimming; oh, and Speedo, Ralph Lauren, and GentleLase hair removal system dropped him as their spokes-dumbass.

Now can he go away?

In the wake of his healthcare failure, his Iran failure, and his general failure at being the least bit presidential, _____ has decided to hold another one of his Ego Boosting Rallies to make him feel better.

Couldn’t Ivanka just have given him an ice cream cone and let him watch TV for an extra hour that night?

I’d like to thank the academy ... Oh, it’s not an Oscar, but a Blogger Award. Well,  okay, so what do I have to do?

Put the award image on my blog. Done.

List the rules. Um, okay ... ?

Thank whoever nominated you and provide a link to their blog. Thanks Toni at Wandering and Wondering. 

Also mention the creator of the award and provide a link; creator? Well, apparently, the creator was our Almighty Go .... Okoto Enigma, whoever that may be.

Tell your readers three things about yourself.

1. I’ve never been arrested, but it’s not for lack of trying; thinking back on things I did in my impetuous youth, I am still amazed that I made it this far without jail time, or being killed. What can I say; I was wild as a younger queerling.
2. These days I am likely to be in bed before 10:30 PM. But then I’m up by 6AM, so, you know, I need my beauty rest.
3. As a child, staying at home with my sister as a babysitter, I convinced her there was a man in our yard, thinking she’d take us to the neighbor’s house and we could go swimming; instead, she called the police, to whom I instantly lied and repeated the story. I didn’t tell my sister, or parents, the truth until the Statute of Limitations was up.

Nominate other bloggers. I’ll nominate you all! You get an award! And you get an award! You get one, too! Look at me! I’m Oprah!

Ask your nominees any five questions of your choice, plus one weird or funny question. ... why don’t y’all take a shot at these questions ...

1. What author would you want to write your biography? Bob Smith because he’s gay and funny and named Bob
2. If your life was a movie, what would the theme song be? I Am What I Am ... or maybe Rose’s Turn ... or And I’m Telling You I’m Not Going!
3. Destiny or Free Will? I’ll take a soupcon of both, please.
4. Have you ever read a book that truly changed your life? I don’t know if it changed my life, but How Long Has This Been Going On by Ethan Mordden made me want to know more about The Gays and our history.
5. Who/What has had the greatest impact on your life? My parents; I learned about the simple things from them: love, for yourself and others.
6. Funny/weird question: If you could bring any fictional character to life, who would you choose? Margo Channing, because she and I would be besties.

Share a link to my blog's best post. These might not be the best, but they're the ones that stick with me the most ...Hurt ... Random Musings ... Singular ... Shake The Etch-A-Sketch ... and of course ... Mr. and Mr.

Carlos got done talking with his Aunt Gloria last night and told me she had wanted to change the beneficiaries on her life insurance policy. She wanted him in charge, and then she’d leave instructions on how to split up the money. Then he looked at me and said

“You’re a contingency beneficiary?”

“What? Why?”

“If something happens to me, you’ll get the money.”

“Excuse me ...”

“Why?”

“I need to Google ‘undetectable poisons.’”

Why the man loves me I do not know .... 

Words and Musics: An Award From Mistress Maddie

So … Mistress Maddie, over there to A Day With The MistressBorghese, has seen fit to honor me with an award. It seems I am the “Queen of the Blogiverse”! I am the “Master Of The Internet”! I am the “Most Important Person Who Ever Liv—“

What? The Music and Words Award? Not The Queen of Something or Other??

Well … this is … nice … too.

So, let’s rip … when I’m asked if I play a musical instrument I always say “the radio” because, sadly, that’s the extent of my musical abilities, though I love music. I do, however, sing almost constantly — ask Carlos how I drive him crazy with my tunes. And, as I have said here on this blog thing before, I wake up singing, literally, every single day. And sometimes it’s a song I heard the day before, and other times it’s a song I haven’t heard since I was a child.

For example, this morning I woke up singing The Mills Brothers rendition of “You’re Nobody Till Somebody Loves You.” I probably first heard this tune at my grandmother’s house when I was a child and stored it way in my head until this morning when it came out. I don’t know how it works, or why, but the idea of waking up singing is a good thing.

I listen to everything, even some country — though I am not a fan of rap — so there isn’t much I don’t like, and not much I haven’t bought, and not much I haven’t sung in the shower; showtunes, blues, jazz, pop, rock, folk, reggae, classical, opera … I love Billie Holiday, Sting, Adele, Sammy Davis Jr., Idina Menzel, Vivaldi, Betty Buckley, The BoDeans, REM, U2, UB40, Wynonna Judd, Kelly Clarkson, James Taylor, Judy Garland, Puccini, The Gershwin’s, Rodgers and Hammerstein, Louis Armstrong, Johnny Cash, Sarah Vaughan, Aaron Tveit — whom I just recently discovered, kd lang and on and on I could go.

What does music mean to you? 

It means almost everything because music reminds me of where I was when … when anything happened. I can listen to music when I am sad or angry or depressed or happy or tired or just need a little something in the background.

And while I like the music, I am especially drawn to interesting lyrics that can tell a story or take me somewhere or make me think something I had never thought before.

A singer, and a song, that always gets to me … Lady Day.

What is your first music related memory? My father had reel-to-reel tapes of music he’d recorded, and boxes upon boxes of tapes filled with songs; the Boston Pops; Nancy Wilson; Sammy Davis Jr.; John Denver—side note, he went to high school with one of my aunts. My father played those tapes all the time; we had music at dinner almost every night and it was always something new; we good go from Arthur Fiedler to the soundtrack from Roots over a dinner, with everything in between. I remember a few years back I was in a store and there was that elevator-type music playing in the background and a lady in line ahead was squinting and thinking and wondering, and she finally said, aloud to no one in particular, “What song is this? Who used to sing this song?”

And I replied, “Vicki Carr. ‘It Must Be Him.’”

The lady told me I was too young to know that and asked how I knew. I said, because I’m a smart-ass, “I used to do my long program to this one.” Then I spread my arms and lifted a leg behind me as though ice-skating.

But I was right, because I’d heard that song when I was just a wee queerling.

What was the first album you ever purchased yourself?  To be honest — and why not? — I think it was a Diana Ross and the Supremes album. I am a huge Miss Ross fan.to.this.day. But then there was The Who; the Beatles; Simon and Garfunkel … and others to follow.

 What is the latest music you purchased? Adele’s latest was my last purchase. I don’t do “internet” music so I always buy an actual CD because, like a book, I like to hold it in my hand; I like the lyrics so I need to be able to read the songs as well as bust out singing ‘em.

What is the very last song you listened to before writing this post? Be honest!  Idina Menzel — you might know her as Adele Dazeem — singing a live version of “No Day But Today.”

Now, I am supposed to bestow this ward on some folks, but I’ve seen it all around the blog-dom, so I will just say that if you wanna share your music with us, take the questions and sing to us …

Now, before I go, this little award got me trolling YouTube and stumbling across some stuff … so I’m’a leave y’all with a little Sammy.

Davis Jr., that is.

Who? Me? Thanks Anne Marie For This Award

So, last weekend that wacky and wild and funny Anne Marie, From My Brain To My Mouth, has nominated me for an award — the Liebster — for which I am extremely grateful and awed … because, you know, I was hoping for an Oscar first.

And since I had some pre-planned posts and since Donald [t]Rump went off the rails … again … it’s taken me a few days to respond.

I am supposed to nominate 11 other blogs for this award, but I’ll simply ask that those who like the idea just play along and see what we can learn about our internet families …

Here are the 11 Questions:

1] Which literary genre do you prefer?

I read almost everything … and a few things at the same time. I am currently reading Station Eleven …look, there’s that eleven again … about a traveling troupe of Shakespearean actors in a post-apocalyptic world. I am also reading Z, about Zelda Fitzgerald, F. Scott’s wife. And I am rereading A Clockwork Orange.

2] Why did you start blogging?

I like to write, I have a definite POV and I like sharing ideas and thoughts with other folks. Plus, I like to read blogs, so if I was gonna read, I’d bettah write, right?

3] Order or chaos?

I am all about order, but understand that there will be chaos.

4] Where would you like to live?

I could, and have, lived in a variety of places, big and small and Smallville, but as long as Carlos is there that’s where I live. Oh, and as long as it's not too far from the ocean; I need to be able to get to the sea quickly when I feel the urge

5] Starry sky or sunset?

Sunset. I love the way the skies change from the blues of the day to the pinks and oranges and blacks of night.

6] Paper book or e-book?

I have an e-reader that I use when we travel, so I don’t have to carry the books I am reading, but at home, in my chair, propped up in bed, lounging in the sunroom, I must have an actual book that I can touch and smell and turn pages and fall into.

7] What is the writing for?

As for the blog, it’s just to share thoughts and ideas and opinions and fun stuff with people who might be interested. It’s a connection and since I have people dropping by here from every corner of this country and abroad, that’s pretty cool. As for other's writing, it's to learn and grow and understand.

8] TV or not TV?

I love TV; I can watch the good stuff and the crap. It’s a way to hear a story, have a laugh, learn something, or just relax.

9] What do you think about social networks?

Well, there’s’ the blog, of course, so I am into that. I Tweet, mostly to share my blog, and to get breaking news—it was the place to be during that historic Supreme Court decision this past summer to read all those fabulous Tweets about equality. And I Facebook to keep up with friends that are far away and to get some news.

10] Favorite food?

Spicy. I like spicy Indian food, and spicy Asian foods, and spicy Mexican food—though I have learned from Carlos that real Mexican food, at least from where he grew up, isn’t really as spicy as all that.

11] Favorite music genres?

I like a lot of all of it, save rap; I like to read a rap lyric, as long as it isn’t misogynistic or homophobic or violet, because it’s almost like poetry. But I can opera, and I can rock, and I can classical, and I can country—as long as it isn’t too twangy. I pop; and I blues and I standards and I world music, folk music and and … yeah, I like almost all of it.

And now for 11 random things about Bob:

1] I am petrifying shy in situations where I’m not in control or out of my element, though I find that, after the fact, I have enjoyed myself.

2] I have a novel I hope to see published one day and another story in me right now trying to get out.

3] I like my animals more than I like most people … except for Carlos and my family.

4] I am a middle child and nearly everything you’ve heard about middle children fits me.

5] I like mustard with French fires; I loathe ketchup or catsup or whatever that is, though I love tomatoes.

6] I don’t like sweets, unless it’s the Peanut Butter Cup.

7] I awake each and every day with a song in my head; some songs stick around for a few days and some just wander in, but I wake up singing.

8] I am fascinated by death, because I believe in reincarnation and believe I’ll be back; now that doesn’t mean I want to hurry along in this life.

9] I have a very vivid imagination that leans toward the macabre; if I cannot reach Carlos I instantly jump to, “He’s dead.” I can’t help it.

10] I am, and this ain’t bragging, extraordinarily hilarious and extremely quick-witted.

11] I have been in love twice in my life; the first time broke my heart, and this time it healed me.

Now, anyone else wanna play … ?

The Emmys ... A Drive-By Review

So, the Emmys. The best part of the whole show is that it came in right on time at three hours. The worst part is that it was three hours of nothing really surprising, nothing really funny, nothing really shocking, though there were a couple of bright spots ... Viola, Regina, Transparent ... so let's rip ...

I find it odd that a show that honors television can be so bad. And Samberg was okay; there were some hits—‘Paula Deen is on this season of Dancing with the Stars. If I wanted to see an intolerant woman dance, I’d have gone to any one of Kim Davis’ four weddings—and some misses—I’d like To Give The World An Emmy and The Best Boss skits fell flatter than a bad soufflé.

I get Andy Samberg confused with Jimmy Fallon. But a low-key jimmy Fallon, he was last night.

LEAD ACTOR, DRAMA … Jon Hamm, Mad Men … His first win, and for the show’s last season but enough about that. Jon Hamm has got to be the sexist man ever. Seriously; I paused and just stared.

LL Cool J and that damned hat.

LEAD ACTRESS, DRAMA … Viola Davis, How to Get Away with Murder … “The only thing that separates women of color from anyone else is opportunity.” Funny, in 67 years not one black actress has won Outstanding Dramatic Actress. Sixty.Seven.Years. Is it because there are no black winners or because there are rarely black actresses as leads in drama series? Uh huh.

SUPPORTING ACTRESS, LIMITED SERIES OR MOVIE ... Regina King, American Crime … Another woman of color wins, and deservedly so. King was breathtaking in that role.

Fred Savage is adorable. Except he has a Mike Tyson Little Boy Voice.

OUTSTANDING COMEDY SERIES … Veep … LEAD ACTRESS, COMEDY … Julia Louis-Dreyfus, Veep ... SUPPORTING ACTOR, COMEDY … Tony Hale, Veep ... WRITING FOR A COMEDY SERIES … Simon Blackwell, Armando Iannucci and Tony Roche for Veep … I haven’t ever seen the show, so, um, yeah, it won.

The whole time Amy Schumer and Amy Poehler were presenting I kept thinking they should win the award fro Most In Need Of A Hairbrush.

SUPPORTING ACTRESS, DRAMA … Uzo Aduba, Orange Is The New Black … she really is the new Ed Asner, by winning Emmy’s in both comedy and drama for playing the very same role.

SUPPORTING ACTRESS, COMEDY … Allison Janney, Mom

With so many wins — as many as Ed Asner — Janney’s the new Ed Asner and the new Uzo Aduba

I can’t with Tracy Morgan. Sorry about his accident, but I can’t with him.

OUTSTANDING DRAMA SERIES … Game of Thrones ... DIRECTING FOR A DRAMA SERIES … David Nutter for Game of Thrones … WRITING FOR A DRAMA SERIES … David Benioff and D.B. Weiss for Game of Thrones ... SUPPORTING ACTOR, DRAMA … Peter Dinklage, Game of Thrones

Lord, Peter Dinklage is one sexy man.

I loved when James Cordden made the audience stand and cheer for The Accountants.

OUTSTANDING LIMITED SERIES … Olive Kitteridge ... LEAD ACTRESS, LIMITED SERIES OR MOVIE … Frances McDormand, Olive Kitteridge … LEAD ACTOR, LIMITED SERIES OR MOVIE … Richard Jenkins, Olive Kitteridge ... SUPPORTING ACTOR, LIMITED SERIES OR MOVIE … Bill Murray, Olive Kitteridge … WRITING FOR A LIMITED SERIES, MOVIE OR DRAMATIC SPECIAL … Jane Anderson for Olive Kitteridge … DIRECTING FOR A LIMITED SERIES, MOVIE OR DRAMATIC SPECIAL … Lisa Cholodenko for Olive Kitteridge 

Anderson and Cholodenko should attend a Frances McDormand Seminar on ‘Acceptance Speeches’ because while they rambled and rambled, McDormand kept it short and sweet and to the point.

Enough with the rip-off of the Billy Crystal Inserted In Movies bit. It was old after the first year.

DIRECTING FOR A COMEDY SERIES … Jill Soloway for Transparent … LEAD ACTOR, COMEDY … Jeffrey Tambor, Transparent … GUEST ACTOR, COMEDY … Bradley Whitford, Transparent … So glad that Transparent won; it’s nice to see these kinds of stories honored, but …

Bradley Whitford trying to have a Pharrell moment by wearing a crazy hat just screamed “Look at me! Look at me!!”

VARIETY TALK SERIES … The Daily Show With Jon Stewart … WRITING FOR A VARIETY SERIES … The Daily Show With Jon Stewart … DIRECTING FOR A VARIETY SERIES … Chuck O’Neil for The Daily Show With Jon Stewart 

I kinda wish Letterman had taken the prize, but Stewart deserves it.

Adrien Brody — yes, compared to Brody. Andy  Samberg has a button nose — but I find Adrien Brody very hot.

GUEST ACTRESS, COMEDY … Joan Cusack, Shameless

I know that Ricky Gervais seems to take over the show whenever he presents and to turn it all into a gag about him, but I love it and wish he would host more awards show. Sure, he’s irreverent and off-color and sometimes rude, but man oh man is he funny.

VARIETY SKETCH SERIES … Inside Amy Schumer … love it. It's the Year of Amy.

I can’t with Terrence Howard. He just seems like a smug, nasty misogynist every time I see him. Next time just have Cookie present the award, m’kay?

GUEST ACTOR AND ACTRESS, DRAMA … Margo Martindale, The Americans, and Reg E. Cathey, House of Cards … Cathey came out to present and that man has the sexiest voice ever. Talk to me …

I was hoping Lady Gaga would go kinda American Horror Story: Hotel in her drag, but she went safe Emmy’s actress drag … yawn.

REALITY-COMPETITION SERIES … The Voice

For the first time in many moons, The Amazing Race doesn’t win. I blame Not Enough Shots Of Phil's Crotch ... because it's real, and it's spectacular.

I know they have to do the In Memoriam bit but it always seems like a drag though I loved that they played the late Eva Cassidy’s version of ‘Over the Rainbow.’ It always makes me weepy.

There you have it. It was okay, Samberg was just okay. No shocks, no surprises, no really truly hilarious bits. It was … okay. And fort a TV show honoring TV it could’a been so much more.

What did YOU think?