Bobservations

The other night Carlos nodded off in the evening and began snoring … like a chain saw … so loud that Rosita jumped from his lap and went to the back of the house … so rough that his head was vibrating like the couch came with an electric massage option … and when I said:

“Sweetie pie, go to bed. You’re snoring.”

And he said:

“I wasn’t asleep.”

Seriously.

This Tuxedo Says is from October 2020 … If you were looking for a good reason to vote, Tuxedo says you should think of it like this:

I have recently learned that crows can hold a grudge against a person for over 17 years and I have officially found my spirit animal.

Oh, and this is my bird call … and, yes, that’s the little dance I do.

The other day at The Adventures of Travel Penguin and he was discussing foods from his recent trip across the pond, specifically Haggis. I replied that I might try Haggis and then call it done, but it got me to thinking about trying new things so I asked people at work and they were less than enthused. Not one would try Haggis, or Sushi, or Offal, or Raw Oysters, and I berated them … politely … saying you should try something at least one before saying never, and a co-worker asked me:

“So, then you've had had sex with a woman?”

“Nope. There are times when you just know.”

I mean, as I like to say, the last time I was near a vagina I was being born, but that’s just me.

Apparently there’s a new word cruising the halls of DC and one reporter dared to use the word at The Felon’s press conference when she asked him about TACO … Trump Always Chickens Out. You know, because the tariffs are on, the tariffs are off; the tariffs are 150%, the tariffs are 50% ...

And the bloated gasbag had a fit and gargled and bubbled and stumbled over his word … singular … but did manage to confuse tariff with tax.

TACO.

Of note, Harvard has never been shut down for fraud, but The Felon’s eponymous university? Yeah, not so much.

First Lady and nude model, Melanie, is using AI to record the audio version of the book she wrote plagiarized:

“I am honored to bring you Melania—The  AI Audiobook—narrated entirely using artificial intelligence in my own voice.”

When I think of Melanie I do think “artificial” but I never think “intelligence.”

I love me some Kelly Clarkson because the girl can saaaaang … and can sing almost any genre. Still I was stunned when she trotted out this macabre and dark take on ‘If I Only Had a Brain’ from The Wizard of Oz.

Brilliant.

Ryan Ball is a model … that’s all I can find … but he looks good in clothes and out of clothes so, Would You Hit It?

I Ain't One To Gossip But ...

Tara Reid, best known for global phenomenon Sharknado, baring her breast on a chilly red carpet and not knowing it was out, and a series of drunk in public encounters, really has chutzpah. She recently reached out to a fellow celebrity on social media to ask them to appear in a film with her. And who did the amazingly talented and utterly, unfairly Oscar snubbed Reid want to be her co-star?

Nicole Kidman. Oscar winner Nicole Kidman.

Reid reached out to Kidman on her Instagram page to, ahem, ask Kidman to join Reid in her next film project, Masha’s Mushroom, a psychological thriller about a drugged-filled child’s birthday party.

Seriously. Reid saw a photo of Kidman lounging on a terrace in NYC saying how much she loves the city, and commented:

“You are truly amazing in everything you do. I’ve b en [sic] a huge fan forever. Hopefully one day we can work together soon. I’m producing a movie Masha’s Mushroom it staring [sic] Vivica Fox, Billy Zane, Beverly Deangelo [sic], myself Tara Reid, Sade and others it truly an amazing script. I would love for you to read it. Shoreline and Universal are doing it. It’s a franchise of 5 films. If you follow me so I can tell you more. Kindly, Tara.”

I don’t know if I’m more stunned that Tara-effing-Reid thinks Nicole-effing-Kidman would accept a film role via Instagram, or that Tara Reid can’t string together a few simple sentences.

And ending with a beg for an Instagram follow? Oh Tara, just when I thought you couldn’t sink lower, you found the hatch to the subbasement, moved down there, and then found that hideous wig.

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Last summer Kelly Clarkson filed for divorce from Brandon Blackstock and, at first, it seemed like another victim of the pandemic. But then came rumors that Blackstock might be a cheater, and Kelly wasn’t having it. But, whether it was Kelly’s wholesome image, or her jobs as talk-show host or Voice coach, or maybe the fact that the rumors weren’t true, the gossip died away.

This week, though, it turned a little ugly after an LA court gave Kelly primary physical custody of their two children, saying she’s the one providing emotional and financial  stability,  and noted that Kelly and Brandon are having “co-parenting problems” at the moment.

But now it looks like Or Brandon is having “coins problems.” He is now is seeking spousal and child support from Kelly even though, in court, Kelly offered to pay all of the children’s expenses. But Blackstock wants $135,000 in child support and $301,000 in spousal support per month. That adds up to $5.2M per year. Oh, and he also wants all his legal fees paid by Kelly which amounts to over $2M because he needs seven attorneys to represent him.

All this may be because Kelly was given primary custody, while Blackstock wanted the children to go “back and forth” from Los Angeles to Montana—where he lives—but the court found that the children “have not resided in Montana” and said Blackstock must travel to L.A. to see the children at Clarkson’s home for “visitation and parenting time.”

And then came the coin beg.

Let’s see, who to side with: America’s sweetheart who has always and only wanted to protect her children. Or Blackstock, who didn’t get custody, won’t have to pay a dime in child support, but uses his kids for coins.

Yeah.

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A few weeks ago, we learned that Erika “Erika Jayne” Girardi and her husband, Tom Girardi—Albert Finney played him in Erin Brockovich—were divorcing. There was reportedly no prenup, but Erika asked the court for spousal support. At the time there were conspiracy theories that the divorce was related to Tom’s many lawsuits—fraud, theft, scamming—but the story seemed to go nowhere; until now.

This week both Erika and Tom are being sued by Edelson PC, a class action firm, on behalf of Boeing plane crash victims. The lawsuit ALLEGES that the Girardi’s divorce is a sham, and that the couple is actually embezzling settlement funds meant for the families of the victims who were killed in the 2018 Lion Air Flight 610 crash.

Yeah, this is gonna get ugly.

The suit ALLEGES that Tom’s law firm, Girardi Keese, is in financial ruin, but he needs a lot of coins to fund the outrageous lifestyle he and Erika Jayne live for, and why Erika Jayne, from out-of-nowhere, filed for divorce. See, if the Girardi’s “divorce,” their collective marital assets may be protected from a lawsuit his firm is facing; a faux-divorce protects the couple’s coins from those that seek to collect on debts owed by Tom’s firm.

The lawsuit also claims that this isn’t the first time Girardi has kept money meant for clients to himself to ALLEGEDLY fund “his and Erika’s lavish lifestyle, and Erika Jayne has bragged about spending $40,000 a month to look like a siliconed, Botoxed, be-wigged and be-weaved singer. She even released a single about how, ahem, XXPEN$IVE it is to be her.

Wow, stealing money from the families of victims of a plane crash and then fake divorcing so you can hide the coins is a special kind of vile.

ALLEGEDLY.

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In Vogue’s December issue, Harry Styles was the first male to be on the cover solo,  did the cover  by himself, and in the photo shoot, he donned some skirts and dresses, and this caused one rightwingnut loon, Candace Owens, to go nuts. A man in a dress? Owens shrieked all over social media and any “news” outlet that gave her to air, to declare that we need to bring back “manly men.”

I don’t know why Style’s dress-wearing freaked her out. I mean, has she never seen King Louis VIX, Billy Porter, David Bowie, and Richard Simmons before?

Styles either didn’t hear Owens’ comments, or didn’t care, because he was one of the few people who didn’t come for Candance … until now. He not only posted that photo up top on social media, with the caption, ‘bringing back manly men,’ but also said:

“To not wear [something] because it’s females’ clothing, you shut out a whole world of great clothes. And I think what’s exciting about right now is you can wear what you like. It doesn’t have to be X or Y. Those lines are becoming more and more blurred.”

And that’s how you combat ignorance. You don’t sink to that level, you rise above it and stand your ground. And you offer np ex[planation for that suggestive banana pose.

Bravo sir.

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I love when celebrities say dumb stuff and expect the public to just believe them. And I’m lookin’ at you, JLo.

Jennifer Lopez, who you just know spends millions to look like she isn’t aging, has decided to release a beauty line so you can look like a woman who spends millions on dermatology and skincare experts.

While promoting her new skincare line, JLo claims she has never had Botox and never will because she’s “not that person”:

“I haven’t ever had Botox to this day. I’m not that person. I don’t have anything against people doing that; it’s just not my thing. I’m more about a natural approach to skincare.”

JLo and natural? A fifty-year-old woman without one single frown line or laugh line?

Bitch, please.

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I Ain't One To Gossip But ....

Apparently, actor Mark Webber was fired from an ABC pilot before it even aired, and he thinks it’s because the executives did not find him handsome enough.

Seriously? ABC, home of John Goodman and Tim Allen is suddenly the arbiter of handsome men on TV? Bitch, please. And yet the fact remains that when ABC’s Untitled Colbie Smulders pilot—formally Stumptown—was the network’s first new drama series picked up, Webber’s name was nowhere in the cast list. And so naturally, Mark Webber too to Twitter:

“Look, I’m a straight white male so I know my journey has been way less painful in this warped industry, but I’m being recast in a network television show because I’m not handsome enough for the executives. … I’m so curious how they’re going to frame this in their upfront announcement. What the spin will be? Probably none as I’ve already been deemed insignificant by them. The way I was treated was so degrading. These ‘executive’ decisions are why network tv is dying. The way this industry has contributed to women hating their bodies is just ONE of the many things I’ve abhorred for so long. I know a lot of us men generally stay silent with our challenges in this arena.”

Wait, so you hate network TV, and you think it's dying and you feel network TV is degrading, but you’re pissy because network TV kicked you to the curb? You need to settle, Mark; settle down. But he didn’t; instead he continued:

“I was raised by a single teenage mom. We were poor. We were homeless. We lived in the streets. She became a radical revolutionary leader. I give zero fucks what filthy rich executives at huge corporations think about me. Never have. Never will. I feel sad that by expressing my own bad experience with the show I was fired from, that it could interfere with the positive experience the actors & creatives that are still on the show should be having. I wish the writers, producers and cast nothing but love.”

And what do you wish for network TV executives who will see this childish woe-is-me rant and scratch your name off their list of prospective actors?

Get back to Starbucks quickly, Mark, your job may still be open.

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Even better at trying to make sure she doesn’t work again is one Constance Wu, from TV’s Fresh Off the Boat and the movie Crazy Rich Asians. Wu is none-too-happy about that her show was picked up for a new season because she was hoping it would die so she could embark on a glorious film career, but ABC put the kibosh on that when they renewed the show, forcing Wu—who makes 300K a year from TV—to also take to Twitter to rage about still having a TV job:

“So upset right now that I’m literally crying. Ugh. F–k .” 

And when someone congratulated her on the renewal by saying it was “great news,” she replied:

“No, it’s not.”

Poor Constance; she’s got a job on TV making thousands of dollars a week and was in one of the biggest films of the year, but she wants us all to feel her pain at having to go back to TV. Luckily, perhaps in the nick of time, her publicist sat her down and told her she was inches away from destroying her career because now Wu is trying a different spin:

“That was not a rampage, it was just how I normally talk. I say f–k a lot. I love the word. Y’all are making a lot of assumptions about what I was saying. And no, it’s not what it’s about. No it’s not … what this is all about. Stop assuming. Todays tweets were on the heels of rough day&were ill timed w/the news of the show. Plz know, Im so grateful for FOTB renewal. I love the cast&crew. Im proud to be a part of it. For all the fans support, thank u & for all who support my casual use of the word f-ck-thank u too.” 

Nice try Constance, but … “So upset right now that I’m literally crying. Ugh. F–k” ... doesn’t sound like anything other than you being pissy at going back to star in a TV show making nearly half-a-million a year, rather than be an adult and see if you can work this out and still be allowed to work in film.

Maybe you and Mark will get hired to do PSAs for acne creams or suppositories.

At least until you both grow up.

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It used to be that Steve Harvey was everywhere you looked on television. Now? Not so much.

He’s been “let go” from two different jobs this week. First, it was announced that Steve would no longer be doing Little Big Shots because next season Melissa McCarthy will be the host.

Then came word that he’d been axed from his own talk show because they’re changing the name of it to The Kelly Clarkson Show and so Kelly Clarkson will be hosting that one.

Too bad he wasn’t quick enough to change his name to either Kelly McCarthy or Melissa Clarkson, cuz he might have kept both those gigs.

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Paris Hilton was on Watch What Happens Live! This week and is still trying to make herself relevant by reigniting her decades-old feud with Lindsay Lohan.

Paris had made it clear to interviewers that she never wants her name spoken in the same sentence as Lohan, and so Andy Cohen–being a big old drama queen–asked Paris to say three nice things about Lohan and she couldn’t come up with one, except to say:

“…She’s… beyond… lame and embarrassing.”

How funny that Paris Hilton is calling anyone embarrassing since the last time she was in the news was when she was going Full Lohan trying to get her engagement ring back from an ex-fiancé because she paid for it herself. Now that’s embarrassing.

Lindsay, of course, heard the news and had a source—possibly Dina after she’d soaked her head in a box of chardonnay—say that Lohan has not been in contact with Hilton in some time and doesn’t understand why the heiress continues to talk about her publicly. She feels Paris is a little obsessed with her and it’s becoming a thing.

An embarrassing thing.

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When we last left Constance Wu, she was trashing her TV show job because, after starring in one hit movie, as part of an ensemble, she thinks she’s a movie star. Trouble is she’s acting like a spoiled self-entitled movie star.

Apparently, Constance is a diva, and so much of a diva on the set of her new film Hustlers that she’s making her co-star, the diva of all divas, Jennifer Lopez, seem positively normal. In fact, a source from the set, and it’s either JLo or Cardi B, says:

“[Wu] is a pain in the fucking ass. She just won’t agree to do anything. She refuses to do interviews; she won’t have visitors on her sets. It’s like a cliché. She is very talented–but all signs are pointing to a difficult diva.”

And now, either though ABC President Karey Burke says the cast and crew of Fresh Off the Boat love Constance and have no plans to replace her, a source there claims Constance is the “most hated person on set.” They add that she’s rude to everybody, but mostly the crew.

In fact, they compare her to Katherine Heigl, and we all know how fabulous her career turned out to be; she’s on basic cable.

Now, I like a diva, especially one that makes JLo seem sweet and innocent, but Wu is about to Diva herself out of all jobs in Hollywood; well, unless she gets a job driving one of those buses that takes you by the movie star’s homes.

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When Ben Affleck announced he was no longer going to be Batman because the public shouted, “Please Ben! You’re not Batman! Stop!” we all thought big old hunk of beef, and My-Husband-In-My-Head, Armie Hammer was the new caped crusader.

Well, that’s not true, because it looks like Twilight star Robert Pattinson will mutter and pout his way into the cowl.

Seriously? That pale little waif of a man instead of Hammer? How’s he gonna get that gelled hair up in that mask?

Damn. I so wanted to be Missus Batman.

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I Didn't Say It ...

Lady Gaga, on _____’s plans to legally erase Trans Americans:

“The government may be living in an alternate universe, but we as a society & culture know who we are and know our truth and must stick together and raise our voices so we can educate them about gender identities … While today you might feel unheard or unseen, know that this is not the reality of humanity. This is another display of leadership being driven by ignorance.”

And, We The People have the power to change that, and turn this country away from fear and hate, away from ignoring the minorities among us, and working for a better country for us all.

Cast.A.Goddamned.Vote.

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Seth Meyers, on _____’s attempts to paint Democrats as an angry mob:

“First of all, when _____ finds a rhyme like ‘mobs and jobs,’ that’s his Gettysburg Address. Second, you’re accusing Democrats of asking like a mob? Because I can only remember one mob in recent history, and I’m positive they weren’t Democrats. Democrats only use tiki torches to keep mosquitos away from their vegan barbecues. You guys are the ones who run the government like a protection racket. Republicans all look like they should be cracking their knuckles in a butcher shop telling the owner, ‘Nice place you got here, would be a shame if something happened to it.' _____ also told his supporters to knock the crap out of reporters and promised to pay their legal fees if they did. He’s an actual crime boss. Look at him. He sweats like he’s being dangled off the side of a roof by Batman.”

It’s fear. He’s running on fear.

I liked the guy who ran on hope a lot better.

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Don Lemon, on _____ telling a crowd at his Houston rally—that was supposed to be held for Ted Cruz—that he’s a “nationalist”:

“Wow. We’re gonna talk about that word tonight. It is a favorite of the alt-right and is loaded with nativist and racial undertones. And globalist. Well, globalist has been used as a slur of sorts, sometimes even against those in the administration, often with anti-semitic overtones. Which just happened to make the president come right out and embrace nationalism. Openly. And claim that mantle. What has happened here?”

What has happened, is that now _____ is openly embracing the rhetoric of Hitler, while trying to say he is not.

That is another of his lies.

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Frank Bruni, NYT columnist, on the same topic:

“Well the question is, is that a dog whistle? He’s a sloppy speaker. So when he says ‘nationalist,’ is he thinking of all those connotations ... or is he speaking sloppily? He’s saying things that aren’t true as well. He’s saying ‘globalist’ means you care more about the globe than the country. No, President _____. Globalist means you understand that our fate is entwined with the fates of other countries and that in fact a rising tide lifts all boats. That’s what globalist means to someone who’s being serious about it. He’s trying do the ‘America first’ thing and he’s trying to lend a new vocabulary to it. Now he’s brought in nationalist. And maybe it’s a dog whistle to races and such. Maybe he’s just speaking sloppily.”

Sloppy? He’s a liar and a traitor and a racist, homophobic, misogynistic pig.

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Andrew Gillum, on Ron DeSantis, his rival to be Florida’s next governor, and his ties to the gun lobby and his opposition to gun control:

“The congressman was against the piece of legislation because he is wholly owned by the NRA. He’s not gonna stand up to the National Rifle Association. That's why they’re running all these ads against me because they want the man that they bought.”

And if you aren’t scared about the gun lobby owning a politician, then you shouldn’t be worried about any lobby having a candidate in their pocket.

Gillum will stand up against the NRA.

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Dua Lipa, singer, on her LGBTQ activism, after Chinese fans were dragged from her concert in Shanghai for waving rainbow flags: 

“I believe in equality and everyone having the same opportunities and there being a lot more acceptance in the world. You know, being from London, sometimes you live in your little bubble where there’s so much diversity and so much acceptance and you don’t really realize that it’s not like that in every other part in the world, so you feel like because you’re given this platform, you have a duty to really speak up and speak out about the things that are important. I will stand by you all for your love and beliefs and I am proud and grateful that you felt safe enough to show your pride at my show. What you did takes a lot of bravery. I always want my music to bring strength, hope and unity. I was horrified by what happened and I send love to all my fans involved.”

Lipa says she will perform again in Shanghai “when the time is right and hopefully see a room full of rainbows.”

In 2018 they are dragging gay people away for being gay. Let that sink in.

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Kelly Clarkson, The Voice judge, upon learning that singing duo Adam and Jerome, AKA OneUp, are a real-life couple who fell in love after forming their duo.

 “In a time in this country when it is so divisive, this is such a beautiful thing. It is proof that in this country, love is limitless. It’s the most beautiful thing that has happened to me this season.”

Word.

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Lindsey Graham, on feeling used by the Saudi prince:

“I never felt more used in my life. I introduced him when he was in Washington. I find it impossible to believe that the crown prince was not involved, so go after him and his inner circle. Save the alliance. I don’t mind military sales but I cannot do business with the current leadership. MBS — he’s done to me.”

Probably not the first man to use Miss Lindsey.

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Masha Gessen, openly gay Russian-American journalist, author, activist and outspoken critic of Putin and _____, on the erasure of Trans Americans:

“You know, this is not just about transgender people, although it’s big enough about transgender people. But what Trump is doing essentially, he is redefining peoplehood. He’s redefining the nation. And in that sense, what he is doing with immigration, and what he is doing with reversing the gains on LGBT rights, but specifically transgender rights, is redefining humanhood. Who gets to be fully human. Who gets to have the full rights of citizenship — not transgender people, not immigrants, not many others.”

Just think of that Niemöller poem, and who they came for first, and how, when they finally come for you, they will be no one left to speak up.

Speak.Up.

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Joe Biden, former Vice President, on _____ embracing a strategy of fear ahead of the midterm elections:

“No president has ever led by fear. Not Lincoln. Not Roosevelt. Not Kennedy. Not Reagan. This president is more like George Wallace than George Washington! Democrats have to choose hope over fear, unity over division. We have to choose our allies over our enemies. We have to choose truth over lies.”

Run, Joe, run.

And people of America? Cast a goddamned vote to show _____ and the GOP that we will not sit while they destroy this country to line their own pockets with coins.

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Bobservations

Carlos plays trumpet in a local community band, and after a summer off, rehearsals were set to start this week … as he told me.

Normally, I will prepare something on Sunday that we can heat up for dinner on Monday as we only have about an hour at home before I drive him to rehearsal. But, as bad luck would have it, this past Monday I got stuck at work for about forty minutes longer. I called Carlos before 5PM and asked if he could get a ride home; I told him there was meat sauce and pasta already cooked, all he had to do was heat it up; I told him I would get home as soon as I could and then drive him to rehearsal.

And so, I ran around, finishing my work, and then racing home as he was finishing his dinner. I told him I wanted to jump in the shower real quick and then I’d drive him.

Being a sweetheart, Carlos asked me if I wanted him to see if a friend could pick him up and drive, and I said, “Yes! YES!!! YESSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!” And, while I showered, and then wolfed down a quick sandwich, Carlos made the call, and then came into the kitchen …

“Rehearsals don’t start until next Monday.”

Where did I put my cartoon frying pan?

Kevin “I grope young boys because I’m gay” Spacey’s first film since being replaced by Christopher Plummer in All The Money in the World, Billionaire Boys Club opened in 10 theaters last weekend and took in $126.00 … and that is no typo. That is a per theater average of $12.60, which doesn’t even equal two tickets in some places or even one ticket in others!

Too bad, so sad.

In better news, this week two fans of Kelly Clarkson, two women, Tweeted the singer that they’d just gotten married:

“@kelly_clarkson WE DID IT!”

And Kelly Tweeted back:

“Congrats you two!!”

And then a homophobe Tweeted Kelly:

“Sorry Kelly…. love your music but I don’t dig the dikes…still a sin any way you cut it.”

And Kelly replied:

“I almost didn’t respond 2 this because hate doesn’t deserve a spotlight but u know what, truth does, & the truth is that God is Love, & Love shared between two people should be praised not condemned in my personal opinion. I love u 2 although we see the world/love differently.”

Love Kelly Clarkson.

Catholic League president Bill Donohue is still laying the blame for priests raping, groping, fondling, sexually molesting children on anyone and everyone but those priests and the church that shielded them.

Donohue and the Church tried to call what those priests did as “horseplay and wrestling and inappropriate contact” and not rape because, as Donohue says, the victims were not penetrated. He goes on to denounce the media for using the term “pedophilia” to describe the incidents when, Donohue again claims, most of the victims were “postpubescent.” And finally, as he always does, Donohue then lays the blame on so-called “gay priests”.

Again, the Church claims it was horseplay, that children weren’t raped, that priests aren’t pedophiles and that it’s all the gay’s fault.

In a continuation of his descent into Nixonian behavior, comes word that _____ told his advisers that he wants Attorney General Jeff Sessions to arrest Omarosa Manigault Newman, though it’s not clear what law she broke.

He just wants her locked away, so she’ll stop talking. And then, in an effort to shift the conversation away from all those taped conversations coming out, that’s when _____ revoked former C.I.A. director John Brennan’s security clearance.

It’s all smoke and mirrors and manipulation and lies.

Oops, word got out that Cadet Bone Spurs military parade to salute the Draft Dodger In Chief, was going to cost $80 million more than the original $12 million and now it’s off.

And he is pissed.

I, however, find it funny, and telling, that the GOP, who paints themselves with the fiscal conservative brush, would ever allow such a parade to take place but they’re slaves to their Orange Master.

An actor named JJ Totah recently starred as a young gay boy in the NBC show Champions … which was in June.

This month JJ, now known as Josie, came out as transgender in an essay in TIME magazine: entitled My Name Is Josie Totah — And I’m Ready to Be Free:

“When I was really young, growing up in a small town in Northern California, people would just assume I was gay. On the playground, I was the type of kid who wanted to sing with the girls, not play soccer with the boys. Then I found myself playing that role once I got into the entertainment industry, and people kept assuming my identity. Numerous reporters have asked me in interviews how it feels to be a young gay man. I was even introduced that way before receiving an award from an LGBTQ+ rights organization. I understand that they didn’t really know better. I almost felt like I owed it to everybody to be that gay boy. But that has never been the way I think of myself. My pronouns are she, her and hers. I identify as female, specifically as a transgender female. And my name is Josie Totah. I can only imagine how much more fun it’s going to be to play someone who shares my identity, rather than having to contort myself to play a boy. I’m going to gun for those roles, be it a transgender female or a cisgender female. Because it’s a clean slate — and a new world.”

Good for her, and Welcome Out, and, naturally, please accept as our gifts the Official Coming Out Toaster Oven and a copy of The Gay Agenda, because it applies to our trans brothers and sisters as well.

Welcome out! Be free!

Oh Madge … she appeared at this week’s MTV VMA’s to present the award for Video of the Year and before she did so, she paid tribute to Aretha Franklin, although the tribute was all about Madge.

Wearing a traditional dress and jewelry from Malawi she told the story of how, before she was Madonna, she was a broke professional dancer living in a crack house in NYC, getting mistaken for a hooker and going to auditions.

But one day, because she loved Aretha so, she “sang” an acoustic version of (You Make Me Feel Like) A Natural Woman during an audition for some “French disco sensation.”

Yes, we wouldn’t have Madonna if it wasn’t for Aretha, but we heard nothing about Aretha, we just heard a story of how Madonna became Madonna.

Take a seat, Madge, you’re not needed here.

After Tuesday's news of Manafort and Cohen going to jail, with every news channel covering the stories, this is what Fox News’ Brett Baier did to close his show:

“Finally tonight, after an intense day of news, multiple breaking stories, intense, serious … puppies. Just puppies. OK, just thought you’d like that.”

Yup, he showed pictures of puppies. And then Fox resumed its nonstop “an immigrant killed a white girl” coverage and coving Hair Furor’s cult rally in West Virginia where he never once said Cohen or Manafort’s name, but continued to rail about football players taking a knee.

Puppies and racist bull shiz from Fox.

We saw a film called Permission last weekend, about a young couple sort of pushed into maybe having a few more sexual experiences before they settle down and tie the knot and there were some hotties up in there.

First up, left, Dan Steven, formerly of Downton Abbey, with those gorgeous baby blues and an even nicer tush.

Next up, was François Arnaud, one of the men that the girl hooks up with; let’s just say that François, in all his glory, is glorious.

Lastly, Morgan Spector, a hottie spy in Homeland, plays one half of a gay couple in the film, and his rock-hard body in their love scene was a wonder to behold.

Just sayin’.