Why Is It ...

… that when I noticed the cover of my ironing board was wrinkled I laughed at the irony, and then I laughed again at the word “irony”

… that people don’t know that if I was a Jedi there’s a 100% chance I would use the Force inappropriately

… that while I often know better than to do certain things but my curiosity was like “do it” and my bad decisions were already putting on their shoes

… that you need to know that my self worth doesn’t depend on your opinion of me mainly because I already checked with myself and I think I’m doing a fantastic job. The Board of Directors [me] has spoken.

… that y’all need to know my Five ways to Have a Good Day: 1] Drink Coffee; 2] Avoid People; 3] Read a book; D] Drink more Coffee; and 4] Keep avoiding people

… that I often need to ask the haters watching life if they are okay with the volume or if I should turn it up

… that the people who think they know me don’t see my 5AM runs, or see me choosing a salad over French fries, or doing yoga in a peaceful room, don’t realize it’s because I don’t do any of that

… that when I ask myself if I’m the problem we almost always say no

… that “naked hiking” is apparently done without GPS, no music and no distractions and yet no one bothered to tell me sooner

… that y’all need to know that I didn't survive Y2K, 9/11, Swine Flu, Bird Flu, multiple recessions, that time I woke up naked in a corn field, and COVID just to be taken out by diarrhea lettuce

I Didn't Say It ... But Frst ...

Look what arrived at my doorstep this afternoon! I cannot wait to read San Geraldo’s story, as well as Mitch’s story, and their story … If you need me, I’ll be reading!

Tim Walz, Democrat Governor of Minnesota, has put the Minnesota National Guard on standby following an ICE gent’s murder of a woman in Minneapolis and has urged Minnesotans to remain peaceful while criticizing the Fascist Regime’s lies:

“We do not need any further help from the federal government. To [Cankles] and [DogKiller]: You‘ve done enough. I want Minnesotans to hear this from me: The desire to get out in the protest and to speak up to this administration of how wrong this is, that is a patriotic duty at this point in time, but it needs to be done safely. I feel your anger, I am angry. They want a show, we can't give it to them."

Stay strong, stay peaceful, and show this regime that we will stand against their fascist tactics and state sanctioned murder.

Resist with your voice and your vote!

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Mark Kelly, Democrat Senator from Arizona,  forcefully rejected DUI hire Pete Hegseth’s censure over his “illegal orders” comments, calling it on Free Speech and on generations of service members who have earned their rank through sacrifice:

“Over twenty-five years in the U.S. Navy, thirty-nine combat missions, and four missions to space, I risked my life for this country and to defend our Constitution – including the First Amendment rights of every American to speak out. I never expected that the President of the United States and the Secretary of Defense would attack me for doing exactly that. My rank and retirement are things that I earned through my service and sacrifice for this country. I got shot at. I missed holidays and birthdays. I commanded a space shuttle mission while my wife Gabby recovered from a gunshot wound to the head—all while proudly wearing the American flag on my shoulder. [But] Pete Hegseth wants to send the message to every single retired servicemember that if they say something he or [Cankles] doesn’t like, they will come after them the same way. It’s outrageous and it is wrong. There is nothing more un-American than that. If Pete Hegseth, the most unqualified Secretary of Defense in our country’s history, thinks he can intimidate me with a censure or threats to demote me or prosecute me, he still doesn’t get it. I will fight this with everything I’ve got—not for myself, but to send a message back that Pete Hegseth and [Cankles] don’t get to decide what Americans in this country get to say about their government.”

Mark Kelly is a hero; Hegseth is an adulterous drunk while Cankles is a draft-dodging rapist.

I stand with Kelly.

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Chris Murphy, Democrat Senator from Connecticut, on the criminal White House and the attack on Venezuela:

“[Cankles] thinks he is above the law. He steals from taxpayers. He thumbs his nose at the law. And now he is starting an illegal war with Venezuela that American didn’t ask for and has nothing to do with our security. How does going to war in South America help regular Americans who are struggling? How does this do anything about drugs entering the US when Venezuela produces no fentanyl? What is the actual security threat to the United States? And what happens next in Venezuela? He cannot answer these questions—and that’s why there was no briefing to Congress to explain this action, and no briefing scheduled. And Maduro’s illegitimate election does not give the president the power to invade without Congressional approval, not does it create ma national security justification. That contention is laughable. This is about satisfying [his] vanity; making good on the long-standing neocon grudge against Maduro, enriching [Cankles’] oil industry backers and distracting voters from Epstein and rising costs.”

Did anyone ever think a morally bankrupt con artist would ever be elected president … twice?

Did anyone ever think that America would ever attack another country without cause, without Congressional approval, just for money?

We got the war because we elected a draft-dodging criminal.

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Pete Buttigieg, former Transportation Secretary and future President of the United States, speaking truth:

“It’s an old and obvious pattern. An unpopular president—failing on the economy and losing his grip on power at home—decides to launch a war for regime change abroad. The American people don’t want to ‘run’ a foreign country while our leaders fail to improve life in this one. As of this week, millions of Americans are now paying thousands more for health insurance. If the President and Congressional GOP think Washington has the capacity to ‘run’ Venezuela right now, why won't they fix the insurance cost crisis they've created here at home?”

The country is in turmoil because of one man and hist goose-stepping group of lapdogs and sycophants and they want you to believe they can run another country?

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Gustavo Petro, President of Columbia, on the invasion of Venezuela and the threats against other South American countries by a little dick-tater:

“A clan of pedophiles wants to destroy our democracy. To keep Epstein’s list from coming out. They send warships to kill fishermen and threaten our neighbor for their oil.”

All to save a child raping predator from prison.

That’s the legacy of the GOP going forward.

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Jacob Frey, Democrat Mayor of Minneapolis, where Renee Nicole Good was murdered by an inept, untrained, lunatic with a gun and a face mask:

“I have a message for ICE—get the fuck out of Minneapolis. We do not want you here. People are being hurt. Families are being ripped apart. And now [Renee Nicole Good] is dead. That’s on you. It’s also on you to leave.”

We all knew this was going to happen at some point when you allow an inept, foolish, out of control Kristi Noem play sheriff and hire the untrained and uneducated dregs of society to go after anyone who doesn’t look white.

We all knew someone would die.

This is Kristi Noem’s fault, and Cankles, and the shooter, Jonathan Ross, needs to be arrested.

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Why Is It ...

… that when I write the book about all of the things I should have done with my life, I will call it my oughtabiography.

… that people talk about multi-tasking I think, “Yeah, I can listen, ignore and forget at the same time.”

… that no one understands that I don’t leave voicemails; you saw my missed call, that’s my voicemail

…. that the only clubs I’m into lately are sandwiches?

… that when things go left, I go right … to sleep?

… that my boss gets annoyed when I text him every morning to ask if we’re still on for work?

… that I am in a panic because I don’t know how to tell the cicadas all that’s happened in the last 17 years?

… that the Dildo of Consequences rarely arrives lubed?

Vote Blue. Here's Another Slew of Reasons Why

Here we are again, with a wee taste of the lunacy, racism, criminality, and bigotry and hate inside the GOP … and let’s start with the Dog Killer:

SOUTH DAKOTA

Y’all know that dog killing liar Kristi Noem, has a book coming out but now her office is saying she will go back and correct some errors … like when she claimed to have met with North Korean leader Kim Jong Un:

“I remember when I met with the North Korean dictator Kim Jong Un. I’m sure he underestimated me, having no clue about my experience staring down little tyrants—I’d been a children’s pastor after all.”

Except that never happened though Noem’s spokesperson claims it was an “error” to include Kim in a list of world leaders who Noem has met. And other “corrections” in future editions will include removing a false claim about a conversation with Nikki Haley that never happened, and the time Noem says she declined French President Emmanuel Macron’s invitation to sit in his box during an Armistice Day Parade because he supposedly made “pro-Hamas comments.” His office says that “never” happened.

Noem stands by her lies as being “small errors.”

It’s not a stretch from Republican to liar, or even dog killer to liar.

On the upside, a county Republican group in Colorado has cancelled a fundraiser featuring Kristi Noem after she wrote gleefully about murdering her dog.

Jefferson County Republican Party Chair Nancy Pallozzi said that the group’s fundraising dinner was being cancelled “due to safety concerns” after the group, the governor and her staff, and the hotel hosting the event received “numerous threats and/or death threats.”

People don’t like dog killers.

SOUTH CAROLINA

Fox News anchor Neil Cavuto pushed back on a claim by Nancy Mace, the GOP Representative from South Carolina, who says that progressive billionaire George Soros funded the groups involved in pro-Palestinian protests on college campuses. Mace claimed:

“You’ve got groups that are funded by George Soros. There are Palestinian rights groups that I believe are involved, funded by George Soros, and they need to be off of our college campuses if they’re committing violence, full stop.”

 Cavuto, no stranger to dealing with lying Republicans like Nancy Mace, said:

“There’s no proof that these are funded by George Soros, by the way… their folks have denied that.”

“We’ll agree to disagree, I guess.”

“I’ve just looked for the checks and I haven’t seen them yet.”

Nancy Mace is a Kristi Noem wannabe.

NEW HAMPSHIRE

The New Hampshire House passed a bill to raise the legal age of marriage to 18; Senate Bill 359 states that “no person below the age of 18 years shall be capable of contracting a valid marriage, and all marriages contracted by such persons shall be null and void.” Under present law, that age is 16.

But GOP Representative Jess Edwards argued that taking away the possibility of marriage could lead more 16- and 17-year-olds to abortion:

“If we continually restrict the freedom of marriage as a legitimate social option, when we do this to people who are a ripe, fertile age and may have a pregnancy and a baby involved, are we not in fact making abortion a much more desirable alternative, when marriage might be the right solution for some freedom-loving couples?”

Yes, he’s worried about sixteen-year-olds having abortions as opposed to forcing them to marry at that age.

ALABAMA

The House voted to make school and public library staff criminally liable for distributing “sexual or gender-oriented material” to minors without parental consent, placing libraries in the same category as “adult-only” stores, movies and entertainment. GOP Representative Arnold Mooney sponsored the legislation.

Seriously. And it would force school and public librarians to remove a book that someone finds obscene or harmful to minors within seven days of written notice to the library director or principal. If they don’t they could face a misdemeanor.

It’s unclear who will determine if the book is obscene.

SOUTH CAROLINA

During an interview with NBC’s Kristen Welker, GOP Senator Tim Scott—his head still up Hair Furor’s ass looking for that VP nod—repeatedly refused to commit to accepting the results of the 2024 election.

Yes, the election that hasn’t happened yet, he says will be rigged if Hair Furor doesn’t win. Welker tried, and tried, and tried again to get Scott to say he will accept the results of the 2024 election:

“Will you commit to accepting the election results of 2024: Bottom line?”

“At the end of the day, the 47th president of the United States will be President Donald Trump.”

“Yes or no? Will you accept the election results of 2024 no matter who wins?”

“That is my statement.”

No, the statement is Tim Scott is a pandering, goose-stepping asshat who is doing Hair Furor’s bidding because he wants a high-profile spot in the Traitor’s administration.

TENNESSEE

GOP Governor Bill Lee plans to sign a bill state legislators sent to his desk that would allow school staff members to carry concealed handguns on school grounds:

“What’s important to me is that we give districts tools and the option to use a tool that will keep their children safe in their schools.”

No money for books or computers or more teachers to reduce class size, but a bill to allow teachers to carry weapons.

PENNSYLVANIA

GOP Representative Mike Kelly, an outspoken critic of President Biden’s Inflation Reduction Act, used the law to receive a grant to install solar panels at one of his car dealerships. 

Kelly has long derided the Inflation Reduction Act, which made his grant possible, saying:

“The bill provides $375 billion in so-called ‘climate change’ legislation, which include $7,500 tax credits for wealthy Americans to purchase electric vehicles (EV).”

He voted that you can’t benefit from the Inflation Reduction Act, but he can.

GOP hypocrisy, and the fact that they think their constituents are stupid enough to fall for his lies.

TEXAS

GOP Representative Troy Nehls has repeatedly claimed to be the recipient of two Bronze Stars and a Combat Infantryman Badge from his time serving in Iraq and Afghanistan, but a review of his service record by the Pentagon show Nehls received one—not two—Bronze Star medals. And his Combat Infantryman Badge from Afghanistan was revoked from his service record in 2023 because Nehls served as a civil affairs officer, not as an infantryman or Special Forces soldier.

Emily Matthews, Nehls’ press secretary, declined to discuss the matter or provide any explanation for the discrepancies.

More lies from Republicans.

GOODNEWS

GOP CONVENTION

NBC News interviewed more than 15 major corporate fundraisers and consultants with corporate clients, and many have expressed concern over a charged political climate that they worry could backfire on their brand or where an investment would not pay off.

They say that Hair Furor and the baggage that comes with backing him, and that slew of GOP liars, hypocrites and thieves I just mentioned, was most often cited as a consideration by many of the corporate donors and consultants to avoid any connection with the GOP and RNC.

Uh oh; if the RNC doesn’t get corporate sponsorship coins, how with they ever pay Hair Furor’s legal bills?

UTAH

Less than 72 hours after the launch of a reporting form to help Utah enforce its transgender bathroom ban, the Utah auditor’s office says it has received nearly 4,000 complaints. And all of them appear to be “bogus.”

Utah Auditor John Dougall says his office created the online reporting tool to comply with GOP Representative Kera Birkeland’s “Sex-based Designations for Privacy, Anti-bullying and Women’s Opportunities.

Birkeland is a former Mrs. Utah beauty pageant contestant and her sole previous legislative record is a successful resolution that criticizes Shaquille O’Neal’s free throw record and mocks his movie’s rating on Rotten Tomatoes.

Really.

Oh, and last year she introduced an anti-abortion bill that was condemned by her own sister, who is a rape survivor.

CNN

News anchor Kaitlan Collins caught GOP Senator J.D. Vance flat-footed during a line of questioning on the current pro-Palestine protests on college campuses across the country.

Collins quizzed the pro-Hair Furor senator on his views regarding the value of free speech versus the safety and well-being of students whose lives have been disrupted by the protests on campus—to which Vance replied that police should only become involved if protesters are breaking the law:

“My view on this is that Israel’s our ally, that we should support them, but you can’t police people for being anti-Israel or pro-Israel. You can police people for violating the law, and we have seen some of that with some of these protests.”

“OK. So you agree that people who break in and vandalize the building should be prosecuted?”

“Exactly.”

Collins then brought up Vance’s past support for the pro-Hair Furor insurrectionists who broke into the US Capitol on January 6.

And Vance gave :::crickets:::

KANSAS

State Republican legislators in Kansas failed to override Democrat Governor Laura Kelly’s veto of a proposed ban on gender-affirming care for transgender minors; the vote was two votes shy of the necessary two-thirds majority.

The vote in the House was expected to be close after LGBTQ+ rights advocates raised questions about whether the provision against promoting social transitioning is written broadly enough to apply to public school teachers who show empathy for transgender students.

And that’s just a small taste of GOP lunacy ... dog killing liars, fearmongering liars, those in favor of child marriage so teens cannot get an abortion, book banning librarian jailers, those who are already saying the 2024 election is rigged, arming teachers, GOP hypocrisy, more liars about their military service … but there is some spots of Good News.

pardoning traitors for political points; gibberish speakers; anti-military criminals; lunatics and Big Liars; Christian Nationalist Nazi sympathizers; party over country fools; unfit for political office; liars and flip-floppers; and Arizona.

So what do we do if we want more Good News? We ...

Bobservations

They say opposites attract and you don’t get much more opposite than Carlos and me.

Case in point: this morning I woke up at 5:45AM and used the bathroom. I got back in bed and realized I was awake and not going back to sleep so I fed the cats, turned the heat on and paid some bills.

Carlos, on the other hand, awoke at 6:50AM to use the bathroom and then came into the office and asked why I was up. I told him why and then he said, “Well, I’m going back to bed until the alarm goes off.”

That was at 6:56AM and the alarm goes off at 7 AM.

Opposites.

This week’s Tuxedo memory is from April 2014 and is creatively entitled:

“Photo of the Week

Yeah yeah yeah. it's another picture of Tuxedo--the most handsome cat ever -- but if I wanna dub it 'Photo of the Week' then I'll do it!”

And I did, and do, and will ….

Floridian ... which explains everything ... Cynthia Kelly is suing Hershey because she claims its holiday-themed Reese’s peanut butter candies lack the artistic details shown on the packaging that made them worth buying.

Kelly says she would not have paid $4.49 for a bag of Reese’s Peanut Butter Pumpkins had she known that the candies not only lacked the “cute looking” carved eyes and mouth shown on the packaging, but any carvings at all and so she wants $5 million.

Only in America, I think.

It has been brought to my attention that the stick figure decals on the back windows of many cars are NOT pedestrian "kill" scores but are meant to represent members of your family.

I will be removing mine ASAP to avoid any further confusion.

$19,660,000,000. That's the profit Exxon just posted for third quarter of 2023, the highest in their 152-year history so it’s not inflation, y’all, it’s corporate greed.

Eat the rich.

I have just added three new titles to my book list and cannot wait to start them …

Pageboy is actor Elliott Page’s “brutally honest” coming-of-age memoir.  Elliot shares his story with never-before-heard details and intimate interrogations on gender, love, mental health, relationships, and Hollywood.

In Black AF History: The Un-Whitewashed Story of America Michael Harriot presents a more accurate version of American history that  removes the white sugarcoating from the American story, placing Black people squarely at the center. For too long, we have refused to acknowledge that American history taught in schools is white history. Not this one. This history is Black AF. 

Barbra Streisand’s memoir, My Name is Barbra, tells the story  of her life and career, from growing up in Brooklyn to her first star-making appearances in New York nightclubs to her breakout performance in Funny Girl on stage and to directing film and touring and recording; the book is, like Barbra herself, frank, funny, opinionated, and charming. 

I was looking at old photos this morning and came across this one of Carlos and me on our first date, which lasted eleven days in July 2000 when I flew from Sacramento to Miami to meet him. This is from our days in Key West on that first date.

What a couple of babies …

Laura Loomer is a MAGAt and prime example of the LauraLunacy of the cult …

She recently Tweeted that if Mr-Former-Fake-One-Term-Twice-Impeached-Currently-Four-Time-Criminally-Indicted-Not-My-President-Gurl was removed from ballots and prevented from being the GOP nominee that she will never vote in an election again and will use her platforms and her lists to make sure millions of Republicans never vote again either.

Um … do it.

This is Lukasz Zarazowski, Polish actor, model, fitness trainer and the current member of the Would You Hit It club; so, would you?

Meme Dump