I Didn't Say It ...

Jamie Lee Curtis, promoting the new mystery thriller Knives Out, was asked about the sexual orientation of her Halloween character, and then talked outing of LGBTQ+ people:

“I don’t think it’s anybody’s business what people’s sexuality is, to be perfectly honest. I find it like a reverse discrimination. People’s private lives are their private lives and whether I’ve ever kissed a girl—have not—is irrelevant to whatever advocacy I participate in. [It’s] sort of destructive cocktail party fodder what people’s sexuality is, [it’s] nobody’s business, it doesn’t matter [unless] you legislate anti-gay legislation but are gay. I fully accept outing those people for the hypocrisy.”

While I believe every LGBTQ+ person should come out, I also believe it’s a personal choice, and a personal time, to do so.

That said, I’m 100% with Jamie Lee that every single self-loathing closeted politician who works against the LGBTQ+ community should be outed at every turn.

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Roy Moore, bigot, homophobe, pedophile, U.S. Senate and former Alabama Chief Justice candidate, wanting to ‘go back’:

“We have got to go back to what we did back in the sixties and seventies back to a moral basis. Abortion was not legal when I went to Vietnam. It was passed later. We had abortion laws in our country and our state. We did not have same sex marriage. We did not have transgender rights. Sodomy was illegal. These things were just not around when my classmates and I went to West Point and Vietnam. We have drag queens teaching kindergarten children in this state and this community….in Huntsville in Mobile they taught kids and they dress them up in drag. Where does this come from? Gender identity is being taught in California to young kids and parents have no choice but to let their kids be taught that.”

Roy would also like to go back to black people at the back of the bus … or in chains.

Rpy Moore can fuck off.

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Adam Schiff, saying _____ should have the “courage” to testify, but isn’t going to take him to court to compel it:

“We’ve certainly been in touch with his lawyer and what we’ve been informed by his lawyer because we invited him and he did not choose to come in and testify … is if we subpoena him, they will sue us in court. Now, he will have to explain one day if he maintains that position why he wanted to wait to put it in a book instead of telling the American people what he knew when it really mattered to the country.”

_____ will never testify because his ego is so big he’ll believe he can say anything and still be found not guilty.

Plus, he’s a chickenshit little draft-dodging asshat.

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Fiona Hill, former top White House Russia adviser, at the impeachment hearings  asking to respond to Republican attacks, after three GOP congressmen in a row used their five-minute question allotments to criticize the impeachment inquiry and its witnesses:

"I don't believe there should be any interference of any kind in our election. ... That's actually why as a nonpartisan person and as an expert on Russia and an expert on Vladimir Putin and on the Russian security services, I wanted to come in to serve the country to try to see if I could help. ... We're here to relate to you what we heard, what we saw and what we did. And to be of some help to all of you in really making a very momentous decision here. We are not the people who make that decision."

She said this as two of three GOP congressman who were there to get testimony from her, testified themselves, and then left the room like the pandering little lapdogs all Republicans seems to be right now.

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Michael Steele, former Republican National Committee Chairman, blasting that organization for buying nearly $100,000 worth of copies Junior’s book:

"Let me just tell you how screwed up this is. Before I became national chairman, I’d written a book on how the Republican Party can regroup after the 2008 shellacking, after the 2006 bang-up at the polls and move forward. And people looked at me and said, 'How dare you write a book and try to profit off the RNC?' And these SOBs are just giving away $100,000 to [_____’s} son? Are you kidding me? This is the kind of internal corruption that people complained about inside the RNC for a long time. ... There’s no surprise here."

GOP. Lapdogs. Goose-stepping.

Out of fear of losing their cushy jobs, not of doing the right thing for their country.,

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Rick Perry, Energy Secretary, going off the deep end on FOX & Friends:

“God’s used imperfect people all through history. King David wasn’t perfect, Saul wasn’t perfect, Solomon wasn’t perfect. I actually gave the president a little one-pager on those old testament kings about a month ago. And I shared it with him and said, ‘Mr. President, I know there are people that say you said you were the chosen one, and I said, ‘You were.’ I said, ‘If you’re a believing Christian, you understand God’s plan for the people who rule and judge over us on this planet in our government.'”

If God chose ______, then She chose him to show us what happens when we elect a snake-oil salesman She chose him to show that those so-called Evangelicals are nothing more than racist illiterate tools. She chose him to show where we are headed when Hate takes over.

And She’s not happy that anyone thinks _____ is the real Chosen One.

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Bobservations

We watched Good Morning America while having breakfast on Christmas Day and when Santa appeared with gifts, Carlos said:

“Is that Matt Lauer?”

Sometimes he doesn’t know how really funny he is.

Clearly the Fat Bastard has no problem with elder abuse, because his administration is scaling back the use of fines against nursing homes that harm residents or place them in grave risk of injury.

Since 2013, nearly four of every 10 nursing homes have been cited at least once for a serious violation.

I hope the Fat Bastard will be okay because after Junior locks him away in Shady Pines, there’s no telling what he’ll endure. And I’m fine with that.

In a Christmas Day editorial, the Salt Lake Tribune named GOP Senator Orrin Hatch as its “Utahn of the Year.”

That sounds nice, until you read further, and they say he earned the honor by his stunning “lack of integrity.” The editorial board claims Hatch had an extraordinary year and “has done the most … made the most news … had the biggest impact. For good or for ill.”

In Hatch’s case, the paper put him in the ‘ill’ column because of his part in aiding and abetting _____’s dismantling of the Bears Ears and Grand Staircase-Escalante national monuments, his role as chairman of the Senate Finance Committee in passing that GOP Tax Scam and his “utter lack of integrity that rises from his unquenchable thirst for power.”

The paper then urged Hatch to step aside, but Orrin Hatch clearly didn’t read the article, save the headline, because he Tweeted about the ‘honor.’

Stupid little asshat.

In high-larious news, someone sent a package wrapped in holiday gift paper and filled with horse manure to US Treasury Secretary Steven Mnuchin.

That’s all.

In hypocritical news, Callista Gingrich began her duties as the new US ambassador to the Vatican.

Gingrich, wearing a traditional black mantilla, presented her credentials to Pope Francis though I think she left out the part where she reveals that she is Newt Gingrich’s third wife and had an affair with him when she was a congressional aide and he was still married to his second wife.

Hey, she talked Newt into converting to Catholicism, so maybe Pope Frankie ignored the three times married adulterer parts, still, judging by that photo it might be best to keep a supply of Holy Water and an exorcist on hand.

Just Satan, er, sayin’.

Arizona’s GOP Senator Jeff Flake says he isn’t ruling out a 2020 presidential run following his term in the Senate.

Um, Jeff, that might have sounded promising when you announced your retirement and blasted _____ in a speech, but, you know, since you voted for the GOP Tax Scam, you are clearly a GOP asshat of epic proportions.

Good luck losing that election.

Speaking of the Fat Bastard, _____ visited Mar-a-Lago for Christmas, and went golfing the day after; he insisted he is on a “working vacation” but because he’s as dumb as a box of GOP Congressman, he Tweeted on Christmas night that he would get “back to work” Tuesday.

Really.

Carlos does not like making decisions; if you ask him if he’d like dinner served now, he’ll say. “I could eat.’ And I usually say that isn’t an answer, because it also implies that he could not eat.

On Christmas Day he tried that with me and we both ended up laughing so hard at his “We could … “ lines and his “If you’re ready …” nonsense and his “Whenever you want …” bull shiz.

I finally had to shout:

“Do.You.Want.Dinner.Now? Yes OR No?”

And then I get an answer.

We all know the Fat Bastard got his panties in a wad when his Attorney General, Little Jeffy Sessions, recused himself from the Russia probe because _____ believed that helped lead to Mueller’s appointment.

But this is better, and by better, I mean stupid.

Now the Fat Bastard is blaming Jeff Sessions for Ry Moore’s defeat in Alabama because it was Sessions’ departure from the Senate to the DOJ that necessitated the election Moore lost.

Like I said, stupid.

Man Candy this week is one Daniel Kaluuya, from Get Out, a disturbing horror film—or is it—along with three stars from Nocturnal Animals, the always delicious Jake Gyllenhaal, Aaron Taylor-Johnson—thanks for the nude scene—and Armie Hammer.

Hammer’s role was small but any chance I get to post his photo, well, deal with it.

The Funny Papers

Ed Hall, Tim Campbell, Clay Bennett, Patrick Chappatte, Steve Benson, David Horsey, Steve Sack, Mike Luckovich, Andy Marlette, Adam Zyglis

Bobservations ... Formerly Random Musings

I like the title Bobservations more than Random Musings, so I changed it. It’s my blog and I can do it if I choose.

Ari Behn, who was married to Princess Märtha Louise of Norway from 2002 to 2016, has added his name to the list of men groped by Kevin Spacey whom he met at the Nobel Peace Prize concert in 2007. He says Spacey suggested they step outside for a cigarette and …

“Then he touched me right on the balls under the table.”

Behn said that he replied, “Eh, maybe later,” and that was the end of the encounter.

Until … later?

Nick and Sarah Jensen, that married Christian couple who pledged to divorce if same sex marriage was legalized in Australia will not go ahead with it because it would require them to separate from one another.

Uh, duh. That’s why they call it divorce. But Nick now says:

“My previous public comments regarding civil divorce never envisaged me separating from my wife, but rather our marriage from the State. The legislation currently makes it untenable for us to do this under the law. The point we were highlighting and that still stands however is the fact that a redefinition of marriage changes the agreement under which we were originally married. We will be making no further comment.”

Should have never made a comment in the first place.

Fresh from The Swamp News … Interior Secretary Ryan Zinke spent $14,000 on government helicopters to accommodate his attendance at a swearing-in ceremony for Greg Gianforte, his replacement in Congress, and a horseback ride with Vice President Mike Pence.

So, we paid $14,000 so Zinke could kiss the ass of a supporter, who gave $16,000 to Zinke’s two congressional runs, and so he could have a man-date with Pence?

The swamp is filling up rather than draining …

CNN’s Jake Tapper asked Ted Crockett, Roy Moore’s probably now unemployed spokesman, if Moore believes, as he did in 2005, that homosexuality should be illegal, and Crockett said:

“Homosexuality is a sin in the biblical sense.

Luckily Jake wasn’t playing:

“Does he think homosexual conduct should be illegal? It’s a yes or no question."

Crockett replied:

“Probably.” 

And to think that could have gone to the US Senate. Thanks Alabama!

And speaking of anti-gay Alabaman asshats, a woman, identified only as McKenna, refused to go ahead with a maternity photo shoot after she discovered the photographer is gay. McKenna canceled the session after seeing a pride flag on photographer Faith Grace’s Instagram account and instantly got her homophobic fingers to text Faith:

“Hi Faith! This is McKenna from last night. I was reaching out to you about maternity photos. I went through your personal Instagram account to get your photography business account and on your personal page I saw that you had a pride flag. Are you gay or do you have family that’s gay?”

Faith replied:

“No one in my fam is gay but I am—that’s why I have it on my account”

And McKenna said:

 “I see, OK, well don’t worry about the photos then. I don’t want someone who’s gay to take my pictures. It’s just not right. I’m against it and the last thing I need is to allow my 5 year old child to think that being gay is OK/right because I don’t want them to be influenced by people like you. I’m sorry that you think this lifestyle is OKAY and acceptable. Take care, Faith.”

But I guess McKenna wants her child and unborn family to grow up in hate.

CNN news anchor Don Lemon was the news story and not the reporter this week when the Fat Bastard attacked him on Twitter after the New York Times reported that _____ “hate watches” CNN. _____ Tweeted that the Times’s story was “fake news” and that he never watches Lemon, and even said he once referred to him as the “dumbest man on television.”

Not entirely true, because in 2015 _____ Tweeted this:

“Great interview tonight @donlemon - very professionally done.”

Liar says what?

In other Lemon news, the anchor echoed the sentiments of most of the nation Monday night after Roy Moore’s wife, Kayla, said the couple could not be anti-Semitic because they have a Jewish attorney.

After playing the clip-on CNN Monday night, Lemon said, “Wow,” before bowing his head and giving a wry chuckle at Moore’s inarticulate reasoning. But Lemon’s guest, political analyst Mark Preston wasn’t done, and asked Lemon:

“Don, do you consider me a friend by any chance?”

Lemon said ‘Yes,’ and Preston sarcastically responded:

“I can say I have a black friend now. I’m very, very excited.”

Yeah, racist anti-Semite and kicked to the curb …

On to fashion …. apparently Ralph Lauren is depressed—no seriously—and so he recently unveiled a wrinkled dress shirt stained with marinara sauce as part of his new ready-to-wear fall line, saying:

"I designed this shirt because no matter how hard I try, I can never be happy. I try and try and try, but these days I can never seem to… It doesn't matter anymore. It just doesn't matter. That's what this shirt is about, I guess. It’s particularly good for walking on the beach alone at 2 a.m. and wondering if you should just let the tide take you away forever."

He added that he didn’t think the shirt deserved   to be photographed.

Too bad; that’s the shirt, featuring a missing button, garlic and body odor infused right into the cotton weave, and a cigarette burn across the unraveling embroidery of a Polo logo, the new shirt is part of Lauren's recently launched “Fuck It, Just Fuck Everything" line.

Seriously. This is not a joke and I have decided to sell a pair of pants I once pooped in on eBay as part of my “Who Gives A Shit? I Give A Shit” line.

Is it a joke? Maybe .....

I never watched The Apprentice because even back then I thought _____ was a piece of sh*t. But I did hear about the show’s villain, Omarosa Manigault Newman. And yet I was still surprised to learn that Omarosa earned some $180,000 working in _____’s White House though not many could say what it was she does ... er, did.

See, apparently Omarosa was “physically dragged” from the White House after being fired as a presidential adviser. We do know that her departure comes shortly after it was revealed she showed up at the White House with her bridal party for a surprise photo shoot — only to be banned from posting pictures publicly due to “security and ethical concerns.”

Folks are saying it was General Kelly who gave Omarosa her marching orders just last night; Omarosa was very upset and wanted to speak to _____ but Kelly said ____ knew she was getting ousted and signed off on it.

And then, god love it, Omarosa started cursing like a madwoman and then tried to get inside the presidential residence, which was when security came and dragged her ass off.

Wow. So why do you think this got so ugly? Something going on between the Fat Bastard and Omarosa, or did he find out she was one of the Black women who voted for Doug Jones?

Either way, the image of her getting dragged off property makes me smile. Bye Felicia.

We watched Rabbit Hole, starring my BFF Nikki Kidman and Aaron Eckhart, a film about parents dealing with grief over the loss of a child. Quite good; Kidman was good and I was reminded that Eckhart is a very good actor.

And hot …

Just sayin’.

Just A Thought

The Funny Papers

Gary Varvel, Bill Day, Mike Smith, John Cole, Steve Sack, David Fitzsimmons, Steve Benson, Drew Sheneman, Nate Beeler, RJ Matson