Showing posts with label Cara Delevingne. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Cara Delevingne. Show all posts

Saturday, April 08, 2017

It's Snarkurday!

In Hollywood, every time two women work together, there are always stories of “The Catfights.” Sometimes the stories seem really true—I’m looking at you on Empire, Nia Long—and sometimes they’re nothing but air.

Before Stepmom came out in 1998, there were rumors that costars Susan Sarandon and Julia Roberts hated working with each other; both women denied the stories, with Julia calling them “boring.” In fact, Julia, at the time, said she’d wished someone had started the rumor that she and Sarandon were, um, well, f**king.

Cut to this year, with Sarandon working on Feud: Bette and Joan, and the rumors rising that she and costar Jessica Lange hate one another.  Susan was Tweeting about Feud recently and talked about the ALLEGED feud with Lange, and then twenty-year-old ALLEGED feud with Roberts. She said the rumor about Roberts was false and was started by her publicist to drum up buzz about the film. And then she tackled the ALLEGED feud with Jessica Lange:
“The #1 question I get in interviews is whether Jessica & I get along. Jess & I not only got along great during filming, we’re now dating”
And then added, because you know how people believe The Twitter:
“…I mean, staying in touch. She’s one of the reasons I agreed to do the series. Working with brilliant actors only makes you better.”
Look, the rumors about Roberts and Sarandon started because they were playing two women who, at first, did not get along, and the rumors about Lange and Sarandon started because they’re playing Crawford and Davis, two women who, well, truly did not get along.

Not every catfight is real ... unless it involves Nia Long.

Just sayin’.
Now, this is high-larious!

Back in 2015 Shia LaBeouf was in a movie called Man Down in which he played a US Marine stuck in Afghanistan while his wife cheats on him with his best friend.

Man Down—which has yet to be released in America—was shown at a single theater in the UK over the weekend, and made a total of £7 ... or roughly $8.70 ... meaning one ticket was sold.

Ow.
Harry Macklowe, a New York developer, is willing to give up half of his $2 billion fortune just to end his messy divorce case—and he’s laughing and skipping about it.

Outside a Manhattan courtroom this week, Macklowe giggled as he told reporters that he was handing his wife, Linda, half of his worth, $1 billion, just so she’ll go away and let him get on with his new love, French mistress Patricia Landeau.

And interestingly enough, Linda has yet to agree to the $1 billion Go Away settlement, and he entertained reporters with a Henny Youngman-style, Take My Wife Please, comedy routine and suggested reporters check out the stand-up routines he’s posted on Old Jews Telling Jokes.

Linda, though, is the only one not laughing, having filed for divorce in July after learning that Harry had put his mistress up in one of his apartments less than a mile away from their home.

Rule # 1: keep the mistress away from the wife.

Rule # 2: when the spouse offers you a billion to go away, go away.
Folks are always saying models are dumb, but, c’mon, they’re rude, too.

When supermodels Cara Delevingne, Helena Christensen and Coco Rocha went to see “Hamilton” last week, their theater etiquette was almost non-existent.

First, while drinks were allowed in the audience at the Richard Rodgers Theatre, one model insisted at the America Express Platinum-sponsored event:
“We can drink inside and do whatever we want because they rented the whole theater.”
Well, yeah, maybe sip a cocktail but these gals were also talking during the show and taking photographs of the production. And one model actually said:
“We need tequila to stay awake.”
Cuz models are dumb ... and rude.
Back in 2013, Amber Heard worked on a movie with Billy Bob Thornton called London Fields; it has never been released, and so I wonder, if it was, would it sell more than one ticket? 

We may never know, because it appears no one will ever see the film as things are getting messy.

Christopher Hanley filed suit against Heard for not honoring her contract by following the script and for not promoting the film upon completion; but, to his credit, he dropped his suit earlier this year.

But now Amber has counter-sued, claiming Hanley and his wife, Roberta, who wrote the script, filmed explicit nude scenes with her body double after she completed filming. Amber claims Christopher and Roberta—whom she calls a “lascivious and sexploitive couple”—filmed several secret nude scenes, including an “explicit pornographic sex scene” with her body double without her knowledge.

See, Amber had specific restrictions regarding nude scenes when she signed on to do the film and never agreed to the scenes in question. So, the scenes by the body double, naturally suggest that it was Amber being all porn-star-riffic when she was not.

But, to be fair, the porn scenes never made into the final, as yet unreleased film, but it appears the Hanley’s made add them to a special, most likely unseen, “producer’s cut” later on.

At any rate, is it just me, or does Amber seem to do more suing that acting these days?

Just sayin’.
Harrison Ford just might be the new Lindsay Lohan ... or at least he Lohan’d his way out of big trouble over his recent airplane screw-up.

The FAA has ruled that they won’t take away Ford’s pilot’s license, or even fine him, for landing his plane on the taxiway instead of a runway at John Wayne Airport back in February.

Just like Lohan getting off with a slap on the wrist for driving drunk, Ford gets a spanking for flying the wrong way at an airport.
And now, let’s end with One-Ticket-Movie-Star, Shia LaBeouf. He’s been a hot mess, a la Lohan, for a while now, but it seemed like he was getting his act, if not his acting, together, until ...
This week when he went into a rage at the staff of a Jerry’s Deli in L.A. Witnesses say he was downing beer after beer for about three hours and then staggered over to Pinz bowling alley—which is connected to Jerry’s—and pitched a fit about ... French fries.

Apparently, though the bartender kept serving him brewskis, he refused to give Shia and fries and LaBeouf LaBlewUp.

Shia doesn’t only lose it about French fries, he ALLEGED that the bartender wanted to hit him in the head with a bottle of Grey Goose—why waste good vodka?—and so he called the bartender a “fucking racist bitch.”

No one knows why he said that, unless he thinks the bartender only serves French Fries to the French ... or Grey Goose to Grey Geese.

Anyway, to add insult to injury, and to make it all seem more funny, LaBeouf was removed from Pinz in his rented bowling shoes and then had to go back inside to retrieve his regular shoes.

Talk about a walk of shame. 

Saturday, May 21, 2016

It's Snarkurday!

If Ryan Murphy needs a storyline for season two of Feud — after season one’s epic Davis v Crawford howl-a-palooza — he need look no further than the feud brewing between Sir Andrew Lloyd Webber [ALW] and Nicole Sherzinger.

And I get first dibs on casting: Arianna Grande will play Sherzinger and Lloyd Webber will be portrayed by Grumpy Cat. Cat? Get it …

When ALW’s Cats revival opened in London in 2014 Sherzinger was cast as the glamour cat Grizabella and, at that time, ALW was over the moon about her performance, saying Nicole’s version of “Memory” was the greatest recording of his music ever … besting that of original Grizabella, Betty Buckley, that of Barbra Streisand, and that of the ex-missus ALW, Sarah Brightman.

It was then announced that Sherzinger would bring her Grizabella to Broadway but, quicker than you can say ‘Fire Patti LuPone and get me Glenn Close,’ Sherzinger was no longer part of the NYC reboot; a rep for the show said the casting for Grizabella would be announced later. But then ALW threw some kitty litter at Nicole: 
“A week before we were due to go into rehearsal for Cats on Broadway … she calls me and says she’s decided she wants to do X Factor, having agreed to everything. I mean, she’s crazy. But the American producers just took a view, ‘Well, fine, we’ll get somebody else’, because she’s actually not very well known in America, amazingly. … I’m furious because … I went out on a limb to get her … and it makes me look like an absolute twat … But never mind, there’ll be another girl on Broadway and Nicole will not get her Tony award.”
I was kinda hoping Sherzinger would sharpen her claws and dig into some pasty ALW flesh, but instead she said her contract to do Broadway was never finalized and they just couldn’t make it work and she hopes to work with Andrew again and  Blibetty Blah Blay Blue where’s my catfight!?!

I mean all I got out of this was ALW calling himself a twat and that is just not enough!


I’m no Beyoncé fan because Beyoncé is all about making coins no matter what. I mean, when the stories started about her husband being a massive cheater she stayed quiet until she found a way — Lemonade — to make some dollars off the story.

And now this … the British tabloid The Sun has revealed that the workers manufacturing Beyoncé’s new athletic line Ivy Park work up to 60 hours a week and earn $6.17 per day.

Uh huh; while Beyoncé pockets millions. The Sun reports that Ivy Park, Beyoncé’s collaboration with Top Shop is being produced in inhumane conditions at the MAS Holdings factory in Sri Lanka. And Beyoncé says the line was created to inspire and support women … as long as it’s just six bucks a day worth of support.

The brand — AKA Beyoncé — has responded to ALLEGATIONS saying:
“Ivy Park has a rigorous ethical trading program. We are proud of our sustained efforts in terms of factory inspections and audits, and our teams worldwide work very closely with our suppliers and their factories to ensure compliance.”
As for the low wages, the MAS factory — which also produces apparel for Speedo, Nike, Lululemon, and Patagonia — pays workers more than double the Sri Lankan minimum wage but at six bucks a day most of the women making Beyoncé’s fashion cannot afford to buy any.

But hey, Bey’s making coins so, yeah ….


So, Mariah Carey was the centerpiece of ­NBCUniversal’s upfronts last week about their new shows — like Mimi’s “reality” show Mariah’s World — and, true to form, the diva was, well, diva’d beyond belief.

After tripping on the curb in her platform shoes and sequined zebra-print mini dress and fishnets — I swear, hookers dress classier — Mimi was literally carried onstage on a chaise by two men.

In addition, she arrived with a huge entourage of hair people and makeup folks and fashion stylists and hoisters — that’s what you call the poor unfortunate souls who lift Mimi off the ground — and various hangers-on. And while she didn’t topple over after that first time, Mariah had her team of spacklers and airbrushers touch her up more than six times during a five minute interview.

After the interview, Mariah changed into a skintight sequined bathing suit and once again had two men, this time with their shirts off so one could see their muscles straining — carry her to the stage.

In a past concert rider, Mimi famously insisted that she “doesn’t do stairs.”

Then, before performing, Mimi, who usually sleeps until 3PM, wished everyone a good morning and said she was there to wake them up.

It was 12:45 PM.


I’m not sure what Cara Delevingne is known for … acting? Modeling? A Taylor Swift BFF? Or being a diva of Carey-esque proportions.

Recently Delevingne was detained by security after cussing out train staff. She was about to board a Eurostar train traveling from London to Paris for her sister’s birthday when a security officer pulled her bag for a random search.

Cara wasn’t feeling a search of her luggage — did she go all Reese ‘Do you know who I am?' Witherspoon? — and ALLEGEDLY flipped out on the security officer with a slew of verbal assaults of the four-letter kind. When another security officer came over to try to calm her down, she went after them too.

So, Cara took a time-out from her tantrum and pulled out her cellphone which is a train security no-no. When she was told to put it away, she screamed “F**k you” at the officer who continued searching her bags, presumably looking for Cara’s manners. And when she realized her freak-out was doing no one any good at all, Cara got down on her knees and put her hands together as if she was praying for the whole thing to be over.

Alas, it was not; the diva actress-model-hanger-on-b*tch was then taken into an interrogation room and detained for an hour, after which she was released, red-eyed from crying and suddenly all apologetic.

Oh, and she was also slapped … with a fine for verbal assault.

Seriously. She should’a gone all Reese on their asses, or at the very least summoned Swifty’s Posse to come to her aid.


Sharon Stone usually goes to Cannes every year to host — and by host I mean collect a check for doing a meet-and-greet — a party for luxury jeweler de Grisogono’s swanky party at the Hôtel du Cap-Eden-Roc.

But this year Sharon demanded a lot of perks to host, like a check for $300,000, eight separate rooms at the Hôtel du Cap-Eden-Roc for the week and a private jet to whisk her to and from Cannes.

Sadly, times aren’t what they used to be for Sharon and de Grisogono turned down her request and got another “celebrity” to host their event.

Kim Kardastrophe. And all she got for her troubles was a pair of earrings … that she got to wear but then had to return. Bam.


Over there at House of Cards, Robin Wright wasn’t exactly pleased that she was paid less to star in the show than Kevin Spacey even though their roles are as equally as important. So she demanded a huge raise … or else. And the powers that be buckled.

I was feeling all “Good for her,” until I learned that Spacey pockets $500,000 an episode while Wright gets $420,000 an episode.

Yeah, that’s not exactly a huge pay gap … Wright makes about $60,000 a day and if she worked all 24 hours in a day that comes out to $2,500 an hour so … still, if the producers cut some of the budget for Spacey’s rugs and hair glue, they could cough up extra coins for Robin.


So last week Chris Brown and his friends were Cara Delevingne ‘d, er, thrown off a private jet bound for Cannes after the pilot complained that the cabin reeked of weed.

According to a police report, the pilot warned the Brown Crowd not to smoke on the plane but apparently the pilot didn’t know this was Chris Brown who doesn’t follow rules set by anyone. So the Brown crowd went ahead and ALLEGEDLY stank up the joint and so the pilot, while stopped in Miami, called police who told everyone to get off the plane.

Chris Brown is saying the story is nothing but hot … pot … air and, right after arriving in Cannes, on a different plane, released a statement:
“Cannes, we are here. We’re gonna party up. Turn up tonight, I can’t wait. Seen something on TMZ talking about we got escorted off a plane? How the hell we in Cannes if we got escorted off a plane? One. Marijuana smoke on the plane? I think we kinda learned that lesson. I don’t think we really need drugs on the plane. But you probably should check with the pilot, because he definitely kept asking my homies for an 8-ball. And we definitely don’t sell drugs. So, Imma be rich, stay rich, and happy.”
Yeah, he doesn’t sound high at all; and he maintains they never got bounced from the plane despite a police report to the contrary.

Like I said … high.