The Funny Papers

Nick Anderson, Kevin Siers, RJ Matson, Adam Zyglis, David Horsey, Jack Ohman, Michael de Adder, Matt Wuerker, Marc Murphy, Ed Wexler, Clay Bennett, Darrin Bell, John Deering, Bill Bramhall, Ann Telnaes,

Just A Thought

What The World Needs Now ....

Just a little something happy for the weekend ...

In a new Love Has No Labels campaign, the AD Council and the NFL teamed up to create the perfect PSA for Valentine’s Day.

The footage was taken at the Pro Bowl in Orlando, and the PSA turned the Kiss Cam into an opportunity to highlight love’s different forms over the traditional Kiss Cam.

I’ve seen it several times and it still makes me smile and get a little teary ...

USA Today

NBA and the NFL Stand Up For Trans Rights

Apparently Texas doesn’t read the papers, because that state’s legislature is all set to pass their own anti-trans Bathroom Bill and are woefully unaware the damage the same bill did in North Carolina—to businesses and tourism and to the GOP—last year.

In an effort to appear less bigoted and transphobic, the Texas bathroom bill, sponsored by a Republican ... because, of course ... Senator Lois Kolkhorst, would allow organizations like the NFL and NCAA to set their own bathroom policies at their venues in Texas, but the law would prohibit cities from passing local laws to safeguard transgender rights. But, you do see what she did? She’s trying to appease the sports organizations while at the same time passing a hate bill.

Now, some groups, such as Dallas' convention and visitors bureau, have labeled the bill “discriminatory" and said it perpetuates the idea that Texas does not value the rights of its LGBT community ... which, seriously, it doesn’t; and LGBT advocates say even that proposing this kind of discriminatory legislation encourages attacks against the transgender community, a community already at risk for bullying, discrimination and even violence.

So what do sports organizations do ... well, both the NFL and the NBA have come out strongly against the Bathroom Bill and are warning Texas against passing hate into law ...

In a statement, NBA spokesman Mike Bass:

"We consider a wide range of factors when making decisions about host locations for league-wide events like the All-Star Game—foremost among them is ensuring the environment where those who participate and attend are treated fairly and equally."

And this is nothing new for the NBA; they came through on a promise to move the NBA All-Star Game from Charlotte to New Orleans after lawmakers in North Carolina passed an anti-transgender bathroom bill into law.

And shortly after the Super Bowl in Houston, the NFL warned the state of Texas that this proposed Bathroom Bill could impact future decisions about the location of major sporting events.

League spokesman Brian McCarthy:

“The NFL embraces inclusiveness. We want all fans to feel welcomed at our events and NFL policies prohibit discrimination based on age, gender, race, religion, sexual orientation, or any other improper standard. If a proposal that is discriminatory or inconsistent with our values were to become law [in Texas], that would certainly be a factor considered when thinking about awarding future events.”

 Now, to be fair, since this year’s Super Bowl was held in Texas, the NFL does not have another one planned for Texas in the near future, but with both the NFL and the NBA coming on strong, several other sports leagues, including the Atlantic Coast Conference, the NBA and the NCAA—who have pulled events from North Carolina after its Hate Bill was passed—might come on board to fight hate in Texas, too.

Naturally, conservatives in Texas instantly came for the NFL, saying they had no business getting involved in the issue. Texas Governor, Greg Abbott, who was largely mum on the bathroom bill—but, let’s be queer, is no LGBT ally—has now become very outspoken; he has even suggested passing a law .... passing a law ... to require  NFL players to stand during the national anthem if the league decided to boycott Texas.

Seriously.

And both Senator Kolkhorst and Lt. Gov. Dan Patrick, the bathroom bill's loudest supporters, have shrugged off these warnings, noting that the bill would let organizations like the NBA and NFL choose their own bathroom policies during major events. 

I guess they don’t get it; the NFL, the NBA, other sports associations and businesses, will not be coming to Texas if discrimination becomes law. And just because you allow these groups to create their own bathroom rules doesn’t mean that Texas isn’t virulently anti-gay and anti-Trans.

Discrimination anywhere is unacceptable and intolerant and so good on the NBA and the NFL for standing up for trans rights.

Dallas News

Random Musings

I don’t watch America’s Next Top Model or Dancing With The Stars because, well, no next top model and no stars, but while perusing an 'Entertainment Weekly' magazine I came across one Nyle DiMarco, the winner of the last ANTM and a current contestant on DWTS,

DiMarco is deaf and actually said in the magazine that his dancing partner, Peta Murgatroyd, didn’t know he was and so she had to cancel their first rehearsal so she could “rethink” her method of instruction.

Um, I’m calling Bull sh*z because I don’t think for one second the producers of the show didn’t tell Murgatroyd that her partner was deaf. I mean, wouldn’t that be part of the chat: 

"Hey Peta, your partner is model, Nyle and he’s deaf.”

Sit down all you people on ANTMDWTS.

Ouch. If Georgia chooses to turn their Hate The Gays Because The Baby Jeebus Said so bill into law, the NFL is set to deny Atlanta the right to host a Superbowl, with all its millions and millions of dollars in revenue.

 “NFL policies emphasize tolerance and inclusiveness, and prohibit discrimination based on age, gender, race, religion, sexual orientation, or any other improper standard. Whether the laws and regulations of a state and local community are consistent with these policies would be one of many factors NFL owners may use to evaluate potential Super Bowl host sites.” — NFL spokesman Brian McCarthy

Atlanta Falcons owner Arthur Blank has hoped to land multiple Super Bowls in the team’s new stadium, which is scheduled to open in 2017.

This isn’t the first time the NFL has punished haters: in 1992, after Arizona refused to recognize the Martin Luther King holiday, the NFL moved the Superbowl from Arizona to Los Angeles.

That’s how Hate gets removed. Money talks, and the bullsh*t walks.

We watched a Lifetime movie this past weekend … no, not a Tori Spelling movie. This was a remake of And Then There were None, based on the Agatha Christie story. And since it was produced by BBC One in England it was less Mother May I Sleep With Danger and more Masterpiece Theater. And starred a couple of hotties …

Rob Heaps, left, played playboy Hugo Marsten, though he sadly was … SPOILER ALERT … the first to die, while Aiden Turner, right, was the brooding hottie, and maybe hero of the piece, Philip Lombard.

Yum.

UPDATE: I posted about the man in Georgia who dumped scalding water on a sleeping gay couple because gay earlier this week.

Well, he was arrested and charged with assault, but since Georgia has no Hate Crimes laws — at least when it comes to The Gays — there would be no charges for his hate. But not so fast … 

The FBI has opened a hate-crime investigation and may file federal charges against Martin Blackwell for his attack on Marquez Tolbert and Anthony Gooden. Blackwell, the boyfriend of Gooden's mother, told investigators he was disgusted with Gooden’s relationship with Marquez Tolbert and poured “a little hot water on them.”

Tolbert was hospitalized for 10 days and had to undergo surgery. Gooden was released from a hospital two weeks ago.

Lock him in a tub filled with scalding water.

During a panel press conference with several cast members Ryan Murphy has revealed that he’s still working on two possible themes for season 6 of American Horror Story and that the entire cast of Hotel can return if they so desire.

 “I will tell you that every darling person up here that wants to come back can come back.”

And that means Lady Gaga, Angela Basset, Kathy Bates, Denis O’Hare, Sarah Paulson, Wes Bentley, Finn Wittrock, Matt Bomer and Cheyenne Jackson will all be returning for next seasons’ AHS.

When asked about what the theme for the show would be, Murphy said:

“I think the show has always felt to me like an opera, so I think both of the things we’re writing right now will have a certain feel [though] I think I know what the winner is.”

Ryan Murphy also premiered his new show this year, American Crime Story: The People v OJ Simpson, which is based on the infamous 1995 murder trial. American Crime Story will follow the same path as American Horror Story, with a different story explored in each season. Sarah Paulson is the only lead actor to appear in both shows so far.

Oh, and she’s brilliant in both.

Good news, for now, out of Tennessee.

Lawmakers have dropped their transphobic bill after the House Education Administration & Planning Committee, who had pushed the bill forward, met with a trans student.

The bill would have required that students prove their anatomy matches that of their original birth certificate as a condition of using the restroom though, short of hiring Penis and Vagina Police, no one knew how the law might be enforced.

Still, as I sad, for now, it’s a win in Tennessee.

In the Height of Hilarity and Stupidity File, Mama Grizzly Bore™ might be returning to television in 2017 as, get this, a Judge Judy-style TV judge. MGB™ has signed a deal to shoot a pilot episode.

Imagine an MGB™ ruling; a word salad so confusing that the litigants would step out of the courtroom and say, “WTF just happened?”

While MGB™ sits on the bench in some Forever 21 sequinned robe drinking a Slurpee and whining about the lame-stream media.

And while we saw the sickening news out of North Carolina this morning, where they have passed a rabidly anti-LGBT law, down in Georgia, their proposed Hate Bill is receiving even more heat.

Both the Walt Disney Co. and Marvel Studios have said that is that so-called religious liberty is passed into law they will take their business elsewhere:

“Disney and Marvel are inclusive companies, and although we have had great experiences filming in Georgia, we will plan to take our business elsewhere should any legislation allowing discriminatory practices be signed into state law.”

Marvel is currently shooting Guardians of the Galaxy 2 outside Atlanta, and Captain America: Civil War shot there last summer.

It’s like I’ve always said “Don’t f**k with Mickey!”

Look! Up in the sky! It's a plane: No Good Deed Goes Unpunished

After Michael Sam came out as gay he spoke about the closeted football players who reached out to him, and said they didn't "have the same courage" to come out before staring their NFL journey like he did.

Well, since no good deed goes unpunished, a bisexual NFL player, speaking anonymously, has pushed back against Sam and his comments:

"As a bisexual man, I just feel like Michael Sam does not speak for all gay men. He has his own opinion ... but DON'T say that we don't have the courage to come out. It's totally wrong. Just speak for yourself. No one else."

Wait. So this closeted gay athlete is angry at Michael Sam for saying closeted gay athletes don’t have the courage to come out before going pro, and yet he’s saying this anonymously while staying in the closet?

Honey, you just proved Michael Sam’s point.

Coming out is a process, and everyone does it at their own pace and time, but you are doing exactly what Michael Sam was talking about.

Now, take a seat, back in the closet again.

The Funny Papers