A Mixed Bag

I am the King, or perhaps the Queen, of the Dirty look in our house, but lately Carlos has been giving me a run for the money.

When we were in Greenville last week to see Audra McDonald, we'd taken our seats and the theater began to fill up.

A rather robust woman came down the aisle and plunked down next to Carlos and immediately took possession of the armrest. I turned to see him look her in the face, then look down at her arm, and then look her up and down.

I almost had to step in before a fight ensued.

I was afraid Robust would have taken Carlos in two out of three falls.

We had a nice mellow anniversary day. Just the two of us doing things we wanted to do, and then with a nice late lunch after.

Of course, there was a bit of drama, because the restaurant we first chose sat us at a table where the server was nowhere to be found; we sat ... and sat ... and then I suggested we move along somewhere else.

At the door, I handed the menus back to the hostess and said we'd waited almost ten minutes and no one came near us, and, still sitting down because her job is so taxing, she said, "Yeah, I went back and told the guy you were there."

I replied, "Maybe someone could have walked to our table and told us that 'the guy' was coming. But we're still leaving, and can I get one of the managers business cards please ... Adrienne?"

I feel a gift card coming soon ... to be used for take-out only.

And, down the street was another restaurant where, after about thirty seconds, I had my beer ordered. so, yeah, there's that, too.

I realized this week, as the nighttime temperatures have dipped into the 30s and 40s that I have a mild form of claustrophobia.

Like the "stuck in a coffin" kind, not the "trapped in an elevator" variety. I can take elevators and small rooms, but coffins ... and, No, I've never actually been inside one, at least in this lifetime ... are too confining.

But I get the gist at night when Tuxedo curls up between Carlos and I while we sleep, and then MaxGoldberg settles in on the other side of me. And with Consuelo sometimes taking up residence on my feet, I tend to feel like I can't move and that's when my 'panic' sets in and suddenly I am kicking at the sheets and blankets and Consuelo is sailing off the end of the bed and MaxGoldberg is being sent to the floor. Only Tuxedo takes it all in stride, stands up, and turns around to go back to sleep.

I catch my breath and follow suit.

A week earlier we were out to dinner with the Round-The-Way Gays, David and Neal, to belatedly celebrate Neal's birthday.

I'd had my pre-meal cocktail, as I like to do, and then as dinner was served, I asked our waiter, a cute little thing with adorable blue eyes, for a glass of Albariño, to go with my meal, and off he went.

A minute or so later he walked by and said he hadn't forgotten the wine; it was coming. A few minutes later he assured me he'd be right back. 

A few minutes later he appeared with a very full glass of wine and said, as he set it down, "I asked for a generous pour since you had to wait."

As he skipped away ... okay, maybe he was just skipping in my head ... I turned to David and said, "I imagine he's been generously poured on more than one occasion."

On our anniversary, we also hit up a bookstore. Carlos was looking for a book on Nikola Tesla and I am always looking for a new book.

But as I perused the shelves, I saw Carlos wandering down an aisle with one of the store clerks leading the way. I heard her say, "Tesla ... should be right here."

And as I looked up from the next aisle, I saw a book on Tesla right in front of me, so I held it up above the shelves and looked at Carlos, and said, "Is this what you're looking for, sir?"

The clerk thanked me profusely, seemingly unaware that Carlos and I were together. Apparently she thought I was just wandering the stacks and eavesdropping on conversations.

Yeah, I was doing that ... too. Until i found a book on Zelda Fitzgerald and a book on cocktails. The Roaring Twenties and Booze? I'm in!

We're off to Pride this weekend in Columbia. South Carolina doesn't celebrate Pride during pride month possibly due to the high heat, the unbearable stupidity humidity, and the chance for showers. So, it's this weekend, which will be sunny and glorious, and about eighty degrees.

Last year we were working Pride with our marriage equality group, The Will of the People Fund, so this year it'll be nice to be there now that equality has come to South Carolina and America.

Random Musings

So … Audra. I could sum up her performance with one word: flawless. But y’all know I need more than one word, so ...

The voice is perfection.

The song choices are amazing.

She was gorgeous and funny and thoughtful and thought-provoking.

She talked of her support for marriage equality — she was one of the first — way back when it was just Massachusetts and Iowa—because, as she said it, she’s a beneficiary of the Civil Rights movement, and without that movement back in the 60s, she might not have been able to stand on a stage in Greenville, South Carolina and sing before a mixed audience.

She told a story of playing the Mother Superior in NBC’s live version of The Sound of Music, and how, during the live airing, the actors couldn’t leave the soundstage for fear that the noise from doors opening and closing would be heard on TV. So the actors sat in cubbyholes backstage and, since they also had to keep quiet, Audra live Tweeted the show with her daughter Zoe, who told her that it was beautiful and sounded great and was a fabulous show. Audra texted her back saying she had to go, she was up to sing ‘Climb Every Mountain,’ and when she returned to her phone, hoping to see what her daughter had said, she found this text:

“Do we have dryer sheets? I wanna do some laundry.”

Audra. Flawless.

In a case of ‘My How Things Change’ comes this tidbit … An LGBT community center has opened in Imperial County, California.  Not familiar with Imperial County? Well, here’s the back story:

After the passage of marriage equality in California, several anti-gay groups turned to the deeply conservative Imperial County because they needed a governmental body to defend Prop 8 when the state refused to do so.

Imperial County became the starting point for Prop Hate in 2008 and now, today, they have opened their first LGBT community center.

Times do change, though the march still goes on …

Early next year there's a big change coming to Playboy magazine. No more nudes; citing easy access to nekkid pictures via the internet, Playboy will stop with the nude pictorials.

So I guess folks really will be reading it for the articles.

We missed the democratic debates because of Audra and that was all well and good with me, but I did see a few snaps of that hot guy on my television later on.

Martin O'Malley. If I was a shallow type, or, let’s be real, a more shallow type, I might vote for him for president just to ogle him during each and every news conference and State of the Union Address.

Pedro Redding has been charged in the gang assault and murder of trans woman Keisha Jenkins last week in Philadelphia ... original post HERE.

A judge arraigned Redding on murder, conspiracy and weapons charges noting that he was among a group of “neighborhood individuals” who go around the city’s Hunting Park section robbing people.

So far no other arrests have been made and, again, I wonder how this isn’t a Hate Crime since Keisha Jenkins was murdered — beaten and then shot twice — and not just robbed.

So, there’s a commercial for Campbell’s soup that starts off with a Dad feeding his son, and saying, “Luke, I’m your father.” The camera pans back and there’s another man, who also says, “No, Luke, I am your father.”

Two gay dads feeding soup to their child and One Million Moms Seventy-Five-Thousand Moms wants a boycott.

You know what to do … to the soup aisle at your local grocer and stock up on Campbell’s!

American Horror Story: Hotel. Seriously? You expect me to believe that Lady Gaga would toss aside Matt Bomer for Finn Wittrock?

I mean, Finn can wittrock a pair of black lace briefs, but he’s no Matt Bomer.

Just saying …

So, the CW has cancelled America’s Top Model… about ten years too, late is what I’m thinking. But, Tyra Banks, who gave the world “smizing” — smiling with your eyes — is now giving us crazing, er, crying, and lyzing, um, lying, as she released this statement to Instagram:

TYRA MAIL! 

Thinking #ANTM #cycle22 should be our last cycle. Yeah, I truly believe it’s time. Our diehard fans know we’ve expanded the definition of beauty, presented what Flawsome is, tooched and booched and boom boom boomed, shown the world how to show their neck, rocked couture/catalogue/commercial poses, have found our (and your) light, strutted countless runways, gone on tons of go-sees, added guys to the girls mix, and have traveled around the globe and back again. Yeah, it’s time. It really is.

Wow, I am SO proud of what Top Model has done.

Bitch please. The CW kicked you to the curb. And, um, please to explain exactly what it has done?

Another Republican, Richard Hanna a New York Congressman, says the House Select Committee on Benghazi was formed solely to go after the reputation of former Secretary of State Hillary Clinton.

And let the Teabaggers begin the Hanna Bashing, though I might ask that, even if you don’t like Hillary Clinton, you’re okay with the GOP spending millions and millions of your tax dollars on a fake investigation?

Just saying.

Lamar Odom is reportedly still in a coma today after being found unconscious after an ALLEGED four-day coke binge at a Las Vegas whorehouse.

The whorehouse is not ALLEGED, however. But, true to form, the Kardastrophes have taken to brooms and flown to his side, after first stopping in hair and makeup and wardrobe, and brought along a camera crew because, well, if they don’t sell it to TV it didn’t happen.

To be fair, the Kardastrophe news channel, AKA TMZ, says the show is on hiatus so there were no cameras, but this is That Woman and her family so I’m kinda thinking that’s a lie because … November sweeps.

Off To See Audra ....

Okay … so way back in April I learned that Audra McDonald, actress and singer and six-time Tony award winner, would be appearing at the Peace Center up Greenville. I was instantly online booking tickets for the show and telling Carlos that he’d need to leave work early on the Thursday of the show; and he said he would.

Then he said he couldn’t, because he had a class to attend that didn’t end until six — and the show was at 7:30, two hours away — and he couldn’t skip it.

Heartbroken, seriously, I love Audra McDonald, I began looking for someone, anyone, who might buy the tickets from me, and I had no luck. I even took to social media to see if I could sell them, and found no one. I sucked it up, and figured I’d take the loss, until …

The Peace Center emailed me to say the show had been canceled because Miss McDonald was ill, and that the show would be rescheduled for October … six months down the road. But, hey, Carlos and I could now go and I could scratch Seeing Audra Live off my Bucket List.

And that day, is today … we’re leaving work early and making the drive and I so cannot wait to see her, and hope beyond hope she sings this one …

... or this one ...

  

... or this one ...

... Hell, she could sing anything and I'd listen and cheer.

Random Musings

Well, it looks like legislation to make the Bible the official state book of Tennessee was beaten back by the state Senate when they voted to “refer” the bill — passed by the House — back to a legislative committee over questions of its constitutionality.

Still, while it may be over in Tennessee, these laws, like those pesky Hate-filled RFRAs, are still popping up like pimples on the ass of humanity. On the heels of a quickly withdrawn attempt last year to make the Bible the official state book of Louisiana, a similar bill was introduced earlier this year in Mississippi. And while it went nowhere, state Representative Tom Miles, a Democrat … a Democrat? … says he plans to reintroduce it next session.

Does anyone else see that making a religious text the official book of a state is very clearly a violation of Separation of Church and State and if we can see it, why can’t these elected wingnuts see it?

[photo source]

So, mailman Don Hughes flew his tiny gyrocopter on to the lawn of the U.S. Capitol in what he calls an act of civil disobedience.

I call it “Lucky he wasn’t shot out of the sky.”

Hughes was carrying letters to every member of Congress urging them to address corruption and to pass campaign finance reform; a good idea.

But a bad attempt. Hughes is a wingnut, who calls himself a patriot, though for a few scary seconds the US armed forces thought he was a terrorist and might have shot down the gyrocopter but refrained from doing so because they might have killed or injured innocent people on the ground.

Here’s the queer: Hughes says he’s a patriot and wants campaign finance reform, but all he’ll be remembered for is breaking the law and being a total moron; oh, and for being arrested and facing up to four years in prison on charges of violating national defense airspace and operating an unregistered aircraft.

Asshat.

[photo source]

Who knew Kermit was based on a real frog? A photo of the Hyalinobatrachium dianae, a new species of frog identified in Costa Rica, is going viral because it bears a striking resemblance to a Muppet.

It ain’t easy bein’ green …

[photo source]

Co-worker: Do you think the new guy is gay?

Bob: I think I have really bad Gaydar. I didn't even know I was gay until my husband told me.

Co-worker: You didn't know I was gay?

Bob: Oh honey, we all knew you were gay.

Oh Chaka Khan, Chaka Khan. Did anyone see her performance of one of my personal anthem’s, ‘It’s Raining Men,’ on the David Letterman show.

Chaka f**ked up the lyrics so badly I wanted to kick my TV in; how can you mess up the lyrics to a classic Gay Anthem, and one that used to have me dreaming that it really might happen?

Letterman called the performance ‘delightful,’ I called it a d-i-saster.

[photo source]

So, Olivia Pope has a new F**k Buddy on Scandal, and this one is neither the President nor a covert agent — well, he may be a covert agent, but I’ll spare those who didn’t see last week’s episode a Spoiler Alert.

He's Brian White and, well, let’s just bask in his beauty … sigh.

[photo sources: 1,2,3,4]

Ohio Governor John Kasich is thinking of running for President, but says he’s waiting on a sign from God before he makes his final decision.

Sorry John, the decision’s been made; you’re a loon. As for God’s signal, She’s too busy to talk right now.

Well, it took more than 10 years, several proposals and countless stories from young people who have suffered abuse and bullying, but finally, last week, Montana joined every other state in the nation with an anti-bullying law.

Democratic Governor Steve Bullock signed the Bully Free Montana Act at Jefferson Elementary School in Helena:

"I am pleased that Montana will finally have a bullying-prevention law. All too often, we've heard bullying is just a part of growing up. ... We know that isn't the case. (Students) just don't have to put up with that type of behavior."

I’m glad they did it, but I’m kinda angry at the idea that for the past ten years, while they ‘talked’ about it, countless of young people suffered.

Okay...

Good news: I got tickets to see the fabulous Audra McDonald in Greenville, SC tomorrow night.

Bad news: a week after purchasing the tickets, Carlos found out he had a work event he could not change and so ... the concert was off.

Good news: I found a couple of people interested in buying the tickets for what I paid for them.

Bad news: both deals fell through.

Good news [or Bad news if you're Audra]: Audra McDonald has postponed her concert in Greenville due to illness.

Good news: the tickets I bought will be accepted at the new show.

Bad news; the new show isn't until October.

Good news: who gives a f**k. we're goin'!

PS Here she is performing as Billie Holiday ... a performance for which she won her sixth Tony Award.

Brilliance, thy name is Audra!

I ♥ Audra McDonald ... For This and For That

I ♥ Audra McDonald, and have ever since I first heard her sing about 16 years ago; an amazing voice, a beautiful woman, a talented actress — she has won more Tony Awards than any other actor, male or female, and is the only person to have won Tonys in all four acting categories — and she’s a great big LGBT ally.

This week McDonald sent out a series of Tweets to Indiana Governor Mike Pence, after he signed a controversial Religious Freedom Restoration Act which basically allows any business to discriminate against anyone — most notably The Gays — because, you know, God said discrimination is good and Christian.

I love her for that, and for this, too …

Photo by ABC/Andrew Eccles

Photo by: ABC / Andrew Eccles

Some Thoughts On Tony

Loyal ISBL readers know that I am a proud Awards Show Whore®. I watch them all, from Emmy to Tony to Oscar and Grammy; hell, I even watch the Daytime Emmys. If the television industry wants me to watch, put the word "awards" the title and I'll be glued to my set.

The Scandal Awards. 

The Modern Family Awards. 

The Project Runway: Awards.

The FoxNews Awards....okay, so it doesn't work all the time. Still, I'll be there.

And last night was the gayest awards show of all, The Tony Awards; and I don’t call it gay just because it’s Broadway, but because it’s one of the few, maybe the only, awards show where the winners who just happen to be gay actually kiss their partners/spouses/lovers on the way up to the stage and then thank them in a lovely speech.

So, let’s rip …. with random thoughts ...

Hugh Jackman and his Huge Ackman, Seriously, is there anything this man cannot do? His hopping opening had me tired before he even got into the building and then he sings and dances and taps and, yeah, raps, and tells jokes, and, well, is just beautiful to look at, though I could do without the beard. No shade on the gay rumors, I meant the actual facial hair. I like my Hugh clean shaven.

Patti LaBelle and Gladys Knight showed all those younger divas how it’s done, and done right.

Les Miserables was up for Best Revival; I didn’t know it had ever gone away …

James Monroe Iglehart brought the house down in a  number from Aladdin — right before he won a Tony for the role — but I was kinda busy looking at Adam Jacobs’, as Aladdin, abs.

Clint Eastwood. Why? Broadway and Eastwood? Plus, man did he seem old and disoriented.

Fran Drescher? Seriously. Oh, she was on Broadway, signing, no less, this Spring in Cinderella. No, she’s the evil stepmother.

Jonathan Groff — cute and gay — steps out to introduce Idina Menzel singing a song from her Tony-nominated role in If/Then and does the perfect impression of Travolta at the Oscars with “the wickedly talented” Idina Menzel; yes, he got the name right.

Sting — a favorite of mine ... a friend and I once saw him in concert seven times in eight days at six different venues — was on to present a song from his upcoming musical he wrote, The Last Ship. I.Love.Sting. I did not like this song. I mean, if you want me to come see this thing, don’t give sad and drab musical numbers, give me something to excite me.

Like … say … Alan Cumming reprising his role as the Emcee in the remounting of the revival of the original musical Cabaret. I remember when he first appeared on Broadway in that role back in 1998 and it seemed kind of risqué and shocking. Times have changed and now it seems, well, still sexy, but kind of quaint.

I have a wee crush on Mister Cumming because he's openly gay, a happily married man and has the most delicious Scottish accent ... and I am a sucker for a man with an accent.

The scene they chose to use from Rocky: The Musical might have been better if it featured an actual song? Just sayin’. But ... a New Hottie Alert goes out to Andy Karl, who stars in Rocky; The Musical. He's like a younger, more smoldering Dylan McDermott.

Kenneth Branagh, unlike Hugh Jackman, was hotter with his beard, and again, facial hair, people.

Patricia Clarkson presented with Bradley Cooper and Alessandro Nivola, and I kept thinking I’d like to be the meat in the sandwich … minus Clarkson, though.

Now, i have nothing against Miss Clarkson, in fact, she's one of my favorite actresses — see Far from Home  — but, c'mon, she is kinda the odd, er, man out in that threesome, you know.

RuPaul came out in male drag to introduce NPH performing from Hedwig and the Angry Inch. I don’t think it was lost on anyone who’s been paying attention to TrannyGate that he used the word transgender last night. That said, NPH was fantastic as Hedwig; tour de force performance. Fun and edgy; and the kiss he laid on his husband, David Burtka, was hot. Plus, later on NPH won as best Actor in a Musical, so it was tres gay!

My Hot Gay Alert Alarm sounded when Matt Bomer and Zachary Quinto appeared together looking all cute and sexy and gay.

It was almost like a dream I once had where Matt, Zach and I … we … um … yeah .. I think it best if I just leave it at that, and then hope I get that dream again.

Audra McDonald — one of my all-time favorite singers and actresses — won a history making sixth Tony Award for her portrayal of one of mu other favorite singers, Billie Holiday, in Lady Day at Emerson’s Bar & Grill. 

She is truly an amazingly talented singer and actress.

And Jennifer Hudson sang a song from an upcoming musical Finding Neverland. I don’t know if JHud is going to be in it, but someone needs to get that girl in a Broadway musical and fast. That is a show-stopping voice if there ever was one and Broadway could use her.

And there you have it, the high points, at least in my shallow Broadway-loving, show-tune-singing, Huge-Ackman-craving mind. It was very gay, and very gay, and fabulous and fun and entertaining. Hugh was fantastic; not as wild and crazy and madcap as NPH, but, man, singing, dancing, joking, and looking hot? He's the total package with a total package. As Ethel Merman might have sung, had she seen him:

♪ ♫ Who could ask for anything more! ♪ ♫

Best Musical "A Gentleman's Guide to Love and Murder"

Best Revival of a Musical "Hedwig and the Angry Inch"

Leading Actor in a Musical Neil Patrick Harris, "Hedwig and the Angry Inch"

Leading Actress in a Musical Jesse Mueller, "Beautiful -- The Carole King Musical"

Best Featured Actress in a Musical Lena Hall, "Hedwig and the Angry Inch"

Best Featured Actor in a Musical James M. Iglehart, "Aladdin"

Best Direction of a Musical Darko Tresnjak, "A Gentleman's Guide to Love and Murder"

Best Play "All the Way"

Best Revival of a Play "A Raisin in the Sun"

Leading Actress in a Play Audra McDonald, "Lady Day at Emerson's Bar & Grill"

Leading Actor in a Play Bryan Cranston, "All the Way"

Best Featured Actor in a Play Mark Rylance, "Twelfth Night"

Best Featured Actress in a Play Sophie Okonedo, "A Raisin in the Sun"

Best Direction of a Play Kenny Leon, "A Raisin in the Sun"