Away From My Desk ...

I am on my way to Oregon this morning. My father is set to have a heart procedure tomorrow and I will be out there helping him to and from the hospital and then home as well.
I will be back soon-ish ...

Well Hello ....

I'm still in Oregon. My father has an appointment with the orthopedic surgeon tomorrow and if surgery is necessary. I should be here for at least another week and will be in and out as time allows. I will take a few minutes this AM to check out my blogs and see what y'all are up to.

Stay safe.

PS Carlos' mother had her surgery on her shoulder Friday and came through quite successfully. One down, one to go!

So There's This ...

 A few weeks ago Carlos' mother tripped over one of the family dogs and requires surgery on her shoulder.

Last week my father tripped over his dog and requires surgery on his humerus bone--there's nothing funny about that.

So I am on my way to Oregon to get my dad to the hospital and get his arm fixed. I will be gone at least ten days and, of course, blogging will probably be non-existent or sporadic during that time.

Talk soon, and if you'd like, send some positive thoughts to our respective parents.

Thanks.

Bobservations

I’ve mentioned before that Carlos loves some Nerd TV … How It’s Made … Big Ships …etc. The other day I caught him scrolling through the channels looking for something and he actually squealed …

“Ooooh, Battle Bots!”

Then he proceeded to tell me he didn’t really care for the show, even after I reminded him, over and over and over again, that he had squealed at the sight of the show.

Battle Bots is kinda like remote-controlled lawn mowers doing battle. No, seriously, that’s it. And my husband squealed at the thought.

Bill Maher went after GOP South Carolina Senator Lindsey’ Graham’s “hypocrisy on steroids” on Real Time last week with a list that wasn’t so much about Miss Lindsey’s blathering flip-flop on _____and more about the issue of whether Graham is a big old queen. Some were high-larious, some were offensive, but here they are:

My name is Lindsey and my pronouns are He and Y’all.

My spirit animal is a jellyfish.

I burn calories by skipping to work.

I’m the only Senator whose office has a bidet and a fainting couch.

For three weeks in 1992 I was married to Liza Minnelli.

In a fire, the first things I’d save are my bridal magazines.

When I was in school, the kids would tease me by calling me “Lindsey”.

I was the first person to push a dog around in a stroller.

The greatest advice my mother gave me was to stop waving my hands when I run.

My quote in the high school yearbook was “a lady is allowed to change her mind.”

My greatest legislative accomplishment is naming a post office after Nathan Lane.

If Trump and I were a celebrity couple, I’d want the tabloids to call us “Donsey.”

I once kissed Trump’s ass so hard I could taste Hannity.

John McCain’s last words to me were “Let go of my hand.”

People who say I’m anti-immigrant haven’t heard me talk about Siegfried and Roy.

When people call me a “hawk” I just want to bomb the sh*t out of them.

My favorite James Bond movie is Octo-yucky.

I’m one of only three people in Washington allowed to trim President Trump’s nose hairs.

I employ over a dozen pool boys even though I don’t own a pool.

Irony alert! Thanks to a food allergy, I avoid fruit.

For Halloween, I went as the Lindsey Graham from the Clinton impeachment.

If you saw just five seconds of the videotape Trump has of me, everything would suddenly make sense.

My nickname in the Air Force was “JAG-off.”

If it was socially acceptable, I would wear nothing but scarves.

Miss Lindsey has looooong been the subject of gay rumors and has always denied them. I hope he isn’t gay, because if he is, he gives the LGBTQ community a bad name. I think he’s just a lonely pathetic straight man with self-esteem issues related to the fact that he and _____ both have at least one more thing in common:

A tiny mushroom shaped dick. That’s all.

More Carlos…or more precisely, more me torturing Carlos? Okay …

As he was recovering from his surgery, he was doing very well, but every once in a while, getting out of one of the living room chairs, he’d whimper Oh oh oh oh.

Being the loving husband, I suggested a way to ease him from his seat by taking a dog leash, tying it around his neck, then attaching the other end to the ceiling fan, and turning the fan on. The motion of the fan would help him out of the chair, but then … do I  stop it from taking him all the way to the ceiling and spinning like a rag doll over my head.

Well, at least one Madonna fan is apparently leaving the building.

Nate Hollander has filed a lawsuit against Madonna and Live Nation alleging that the change in start time for the Madame X Tour is a breach of contract between the singer and ticket buyer.

Trouble for Nick is, that he hasn’t seen the show yet; his tickets are for December 17th. But he knows what’s going to happen because, even though the show time is 8:30 on the tickets, late last month, Madonna and Live Nation changed the start times for several shows to 10:30 and that’s too late for Madonna’s rapidly aging out fan base.

Nate says that no refund has been offered and says he can’t resell them because the tickets “suffered an extreme loss of value” due to the time change.

Oh Nate, as Judge Judy might say, ‘You picked her. And you’re stuck with her at 10:30.’

To add insult to injury, Madonna, who clearly had been told about the complaints, tweeted a video from her Las Vegas show where she said to the crowd:

“There’s something that you all need to understand. And that is, that a queen is never late.”

I don’t know what’s funnier, that Madonna thinks she’s royalty or that she thinks she’s still relevant.

As I said last week, Tuxedo went to the vets about him licking the fur off his front leg. He was given some medication, and some wipes to clean the area. The wipes were easy, but the medication had to be given through a dropper orally, which meant holding Tuxedo down and shoving the dropper in his mouth and given him the medication.

So, twice a day I would take a towel and wrap it around Tuxedo, keeping his paws from grabbing at me, and then Carlos would force the medications into his mouth. After the first dose, as soon as he saw the towel, Tuxedo knew what was coming; he didn’t run, but he wrapped his front paws around my neck and tried to climb me to get away. It was quite the struggle, but we finished his round of antibiotics the other day.

And I will give Tuxedo props for not holding a grudge; as soon as he had the meds, he got a treat, and then would crawl into my lap and go to sleep.

He really is a good boy … and thrilled to be “off the dropper.”

I guess the Golden Globes didn’t think he was the worst host ever after all.

The 1995 Golden Globes went hostless from 1944 through 2009 except for one year when I was co-hosted by that comedy duo John Larroquette and Janine Turner. But by 2010, the Globes felt they needed a host and asked Ricky Gervais, who hosted for three years, took three years off—the comedy duo of Tina Fey and Amy Poehler hosted those years—and the returned in 2016, only to be basically fired from ever hosting again.

But now he’s back, and the Golden Globes will once again go from ‘Which actor is the most drunk’ to ‘Which actor is gonna be publicly dragged by Ricky Gervais.’

I, for one, cannot wait.

Isha Blaaker. So hot and sultry and…did I say hot?

Born in  Paramaribo, Suriname, this green-eyed beauty also goes by the nickname The Charming Boxer.

Charming, indeed. And sweet; when asked if he found himself attractive, he said:

“I know what I’m being paid for, but beauty is internal. If you don’t see your light no one will. Everybody should see their own beauty.”

Usha is also single, sort of; he calls his relationship status “complicated”.

I could uncomplicate it for him. Just sayin’.

Snip Snip Snip

Oh, the patient; or, as I began referring to him, the “impatient.” That is one of Carlos’ faults; he does not like to be kept waiting though he has no issue with anyone waiting for him.

We had the be at the hospital by ten and I suggested leaving home at 9:15 …

Why so early? I don’t  have to be there until ten.

I reminded him of paperwork and insurance and getting all of that done, so we got to the hospital at 9:30. Then … impatient.

He wasn’t called until 10:15 … Why are they fifteen minutes late …and were taken back to pre-op … Why are we waiting here? … where a nurse took vitals, hooked him to machines … Why is that one beating irregularly … and told him the anesthetist would be right in … where is he …

The anesthetist; kind of a hot bald daddy type but … a long grey wiry beard running halfway down his chest. I so wanted to shave that thing off or at least trim it before he started playing something from the Arcade Fire catalogue.

Back to the impatient; where’s the nurse … why can’t I wear my socks … what is that beeping … what time is it …my surgery was scheduled for ten …

No, you were set to be here at ten to sign in and do paperwork, honey.

But why is it taking so long?

One more word and I’ll find a pair of scissors and do the job myself.

Okay.

The nurse gave him an injection of something to relax him and help him with the anesthesia; she said he might doze off; I tipped her twenty dollars and started reading my Michelle Obama book. Then he woke up.

What time is it?

11:30.

Eleven-thirty? Howler monkey shriek. Why are they so late?

I signaled the nurse for a heavier does of the sedative … for me.

Around twelve-thirty he was wheeled away. My last words to him were, What’s the password to the bank account again? Actually; I kid. A surgical nurse came into take him and as she was ready to wheel him out, she said, Now’s the time for the kiss.

Nice; everyone, when finding out that he was mu husband, was no nice and friendly …How long have y’all been together … We’ll take good care of him … and even when I asked if I could get a younger model afterwards. The nurse reminded me that he’s a keeper.

And he is.

Surgery was quick; he was in recovery longer than surgery. Then it was home and phone calls to family to report the news that he was home and fine and, well, a little whiny. And acting like a superman. He was saying he was going to do this and that, and I told him to just take it easy and maybe rest a minute … he went into the guest room, closed the door to keep jumping cats out, and slept for about six hours.

It was heaven. Then he woke up.

I kid. Or do I?

Seriously, thanks for all your kind wishes and thoughts, and jokes. It helped with the impatient and me. He’s feeling a lot better this morning and we’ll see how he does the rest of the week.

Nurse Ratched has taken the full week off, so anything goes …

Tuesday Thought #1

Bobservations

No funny Carlos stuff this week … but it’s been a week.

A coworker of mine passed away suddenly last Friday morning and I don’t know why, but it hit me very hard. Possibly because she was just fifty, and because she was such a fully alive sweet kind lovely laughing singing dancing funny friend that I still cannot grasp not seeing her every day. I do know that the last words I uttered to her as she left work last Thursday were …

“I love you, Miss Debra. See you next week.”

Carlos and I will be at her service today to say our goodbyes along with a great many other people who knew her and loved her.

Carlos also found out that with his disability he can still earn up to $2400 a month working part-time. I have suggested he get a job to earn just that much, or perhaps a smidge less, and then I will quit my job.

He was not amused.

And, lastly, he has an appointment with a surgeon here in town about his hernia. When his GP suggested he find a surgeon close to home, everyone we asked said the same name, and that’s who we’re going with. Lucky, living in a small town where everyone knows the best doctor.

My father got his ‘boot’ off and still doing physical therapy but is back to nearly all of his old routine. Next week he should be able to go back to his yoga classes and he’s already back volunteering at the Oregon Coast Aquarium.

Baby steps are working.

And that was a bit of the past week; sad, sweet, nice and good.

I’m loving this … the House Oversight Committee is investigating whether Transportation Secretary, AKA Missus Moscow Mitch, Elaine Chao acted improperly to benefit herself or her family’s shipping company.

Chao was asked to turn over documents related to the New York-based company, Foremost Group—owned by her father and sisters—which transports material to and from China. It seems Chao may have used her Cabinet position to benefit the company and increase its influence and status with the Chinese government.

So, do we have #ChinaChao and #MoscowMitch?

State prosecutors in Manhattan have subpoenaed _____’s accounting firm to demand eight years of his personal and corporate tax returns.

Ruh-roh. The subpoena was issued by the Manhattan district attorney’s office right after it opened a criminal investigation into the role that _____ and his mob family played in hush-money payments made in the run-up to the election. Both _____ and his company reimbursed Michael Cohen, _____’s former lawyer and fixer, for money Cohen paid to buy the silence of Stormy Daniels after her affair with _____.

This is an ISBL Public Service Announcement [/sarcasm font]

Dear Black People,

If you don’t want to be arrested could you please stop doing things like driving, ordering coffee, having a picnic, taking a nap, or trying to open a bank account.

Sincerely, White Racists

Anthony Onyegbula  wanted to open a new bank account, but instead found himself face-to-face with police after a bank worker called 911 because … wait for it … Onyegbula looked suspicious because he was wearing a hat. Oh, yeah, and he’s  black, too, so maybe it was just the blackness.

Onyegbula was outside the United Community Bank in Georgia, speaking to his wife about opening an account there while a teller inside called 911 and said:

“He went to the front door and he’s been on his phone, and, I, um, called from my phone to tell the employees to lock the front door.”

They locked the doors at 2:15 though they close at 4:30 because … black man … in a hat … on a phone … outside. The teller then told 911:

“He’s been on his phone out front. And we have no cars in the parking lot. He’s a walker. So, I feel like he’s up to no good.”

Onyegbula and his wife left to go to another bank and that's when they realized police had been called; officers came into that bank, asked the manager to clear the room, and then spoke to Onyegbula.

Black man. Hat, Bank. Phone.

The regional president for United Community Bank sent Johnson a statement, that reads:

“For privacy reasons, we do not comment publicly about the details of any customer or potential customer transactions. However, providing excellent customer service is our top priority and we are disappointed that we didn’t deliver that to Drs. Onyegbula and Tedga in this case. This afternoon we were able to speak directly with Drs. Onyegbula and Tedga to personally apologize for the misunderstanding. We are glad for the opportunity to connect and improve, and hope to have an opportunity to earn their business in the future."

Good luck with that, unless you supply a sheet to people of color on how to dress and act, and to stay off their phones, and drive a car to the bank, so they don’t look like robbers.

Josh Owens, the CEO of Indianapolis-based online retailer SupplyKick, announced his bid for governor of Indiana making him the state’s first openly gay major party candidate for that office:

Indiana; home to bigoted homophobe and … ALLEGEDLY closeted gay male, Michael Elizabeth Pence might have a gay governor.

Just sayin’.

On Monday night, former Trump White House Press Secretary Liar Sean Spicer made his debut on Dancing With People Who Are Not Stars.

After one judge said Spicer looked like he was being chased around the stage by wasps, he was given a score of 4. And because Sean Spicer is a bottom feeding loser with nothing else going on, he took to Twitter to remind everyone that Jesus wants you to vote for him:

“Clearly the judges aren’t going to be with me. Let’s send a message to #Hollywood that those of us who stand for #Christ won’t be discounted. May God bless you.”

Jesus gave him a one-fingered vote.

And now I need some refreshment, in the way of 30-year-old actor and model, Darius Williams.

He oozes sexuality, both in, and out of his clothes.

And he looks good wearing a hat!

I feel so much better already!

Ruminations On A Month Away ...

First up, the header up there is the family of deer that visited my father’s house every afternoon to eat apples, both on the ground and from the tree. You could actually get quite close to them, though they watched you carefully, and were so graceful and peaceful. It was a nice way to spend the mornings, waiting for their arrival.

I was happy to be able to go out to Oregon and help my Dad before, during and after surgery. I was happy that my boss, when I walked up to him and asked for five weeks off—starting in two weeks—simply said, ‘Do what you need to do. We’ll be waiting for you when you get back.’

That said … I went all Seinfeld while I was gone. I calculated how many hours I slept each night and then took that number of days off my stay. Ten days? That’s eighty hours of sleep. And that 3 days and eight hours, so really, it’s just six days.

The hospital where Dad had his surgery was more like a high-end hotel. I mean, there was a lady playing a grand piano in the lobby and there was an actual restaurant—not a cafeteria—in the place. Even the rooms had views, and except for the medical equipment, I might have checked in for a stay myself.

This is ‘The New Ankle.’ In the right image, those screws are from when he broke the ankle about eight years back; the new ankle is where they drilled a hole in the bone and inserted the new ankle, with a bottom piece screwed into his foot. All I can see when I look at this is ‘Ouch.’

Oh … and his doctor was adorable. So much so that I almost asked for an ankle replacement myself. Or, at the very least, a consultation.

I’ve had it with “thoughts and prayers” and am ready for substantive gun laws. Anyone … anyone … who thinks it should be okay to own a weapon that killed 9 people in 30 seconds should be notched under the Red Flag laws because they are too insane to own a firearm.

I’m glad there’s a discernible shift between black and brown mass murderers being terrorist, while white mass murderers are called insane. Shooting up a church, a movie theater, a Walmart, a bar, a mosque, a synagogue is all terror, no matter the color of the shooter.

While I loved helping my dad out, there was that moment, or moments, when I was over it. Most notably the day we were leaving a doctor’s appointment and he had so annoyed me that while I was pushing him in his wheelchair down a ramp, I suddenly envisioned myself as Baby Jane Hudson pushing sister Blanche down a flight of stairs. What can I say …?

I had to return a pair of crutches my father had ordered to a medical supply company because they were too tall for him; he used to be over six feet tall, and now he’s 5’11”. I took the pair back and asked for another size, which they didn’t have, but could order. By the time I returned to my Dad’s house, they’d called to say they had the crutches, so I picked them up the next day. But the crutches were not going to work getting my father up the stairs, so I had to return this other pair, too. As I explained to the women at the medical supply company, I was my usual polite self, causing one of the women to ask where I lived. I said, “South Carolina” and one woman looked at the other and said, “It figures. That’s why he’s so polite.” I laughed, and then explained that I was so polite because my mother was Southern, and my father was military.

I’m over racists in the White House and anyone …anyone … who stands with him. If you like _____ because you got a tax break but can turn a blind eye, and deaf ear, to his hate speech, then, yeah, in my mind you’re a racist too, because you’re selling out black and brown people, not to mention kids in cages, for a few more coins in your bank account.

On that note, Anthony Scaramucci? Your Fifteen Minutes were up on Day Eleven when you got fired from the White House and ran to Celebrity Big Brother. If you expect me to buy that you loathe _____ now, I don’t. You’re just searching for a way to get you mug on TV. Go.The fuck.Away.

My dad is an avid news watcher and so I watched, too, as he recorded all the news shows he liked and watched them while recovering. Now, he was interested in the news, while I was interested in the Hot Mens reporting the news, like … clockwise from the top right … Jeremy Diamond Craig Melvin, Jacob Soboroff, Phil Mattingly, Andrew Scholes, and Alex Marquardt.

And then, in the wake of the El Paso shooting was Hot Texas Congressman Cesar Blanco. Hot, and compassionate, and passionate about doing something about guns in America and racists in the White House.

Finally, Carlos. I don’t think I’ve ever missed someone so much in my life. We’ve taken time away from each other, whether for work, or family business and the other couldn’t get away, but  31 days was quite the long stretch. And we had a very nice reunion, steamy, you might say, and spent about five days together, just us; perfection. 

I’ve never been so happy to see someone in my life, well, except for maybe Tuxedo who came running to the door when we got home and leaped to the back of a chair so I could pick him up and give him smooches. As is his way, Carlos didn't want his picture up, so you'll have to make do with Tucky.

Lastly, the things we've seen and heard this last month? You all have a choice to make next year if we want to make a change from being the country that forces other countries to tell their citizens not to visit because we have a gun problem, or being the country that fixes it.

And that was my month, more or less …

Anthony Dickerson Has To Be On His Best Behavior Before Donating A Kidney To His Son

What is wrong with people? Why, when a simple decision, a right decision, is in front of them, do some people take a step back to think about it? The right thing is always right.

A.J.  is two; he was born without kidneys. But a surgery that could save his life is being held up because of red tape and bureaucracy.

See, there is a donor of kidney for A.J. and he’s a perfect match because he happens to be A.J.’s father, Anthony Dickerson. And Anthony, who had always wanted a son, was ready to donate a kidney to his son until he was arrested for violating his probation last month on an original charge of possession of a firearm.

And that’s when the hospital decided to take a step back and rethink Anthony Dickerson’s offer. Oh, originally, Emory Hospital was fine with the situation, even asking the Gwinnett County Jail if Dickerson could be escorted to Emory for blood work and a pre-operative” but then, Dickerson claims, the hospital’s attitude changed once he was released from custody.

Now, the Living Donor Transplant Team at Emory wants evidence Anthony Dickerson is in compliance from his parole officer for the next three months; they say if Anthony Dickerson exhibits “good behavior” for the next three months, will re-evaluate his offer to donate a kidney to his own son.

So, basically, the man who is a perfect match to donate a kidney to his son, a man who wants to donate, who is ready to donate, who is in perfect health to donate, is being denied that option because he violated his parole. And Emory Healthcare will not answer questions about the case because of patient confidentiality; they have even refused to answer a question about how someone being arrested impacts the possibility of donating a kidney.

Naturally, Anthony Dickerson hopes his arrest doesn’t hurt his son's chances at living a normal life:

"What do he got to do with the mistakes I made? Nothing."

A.J. suffered a stroke two months ago, and now needs constant care and doctor's visits, but now he's being told to wait even though the perfect match has been found. The family now says their only option now is to get on the kidney transplant wait list, and that can take months, or even years.

Emory Hospital is risking the life of a child because, basically, they want to play the moral card: daddy committed a crime so he cannot donate a kidney? A child is suffering because they are asking for evidence of “good behavior”? What kind of fuckery is that? And, while I hate bringing race into it, I wonder, if A.J. was a little white boy in need of a kidney and his father, a perfect match, was a white man who violated his parole, would the story be the same?

I wonder ... and while Emory Hospital wants to wait and see, random strangers are reaching out to the family, calling the local news, contacting the hospital, to see if they’re a match for A.J. ...

This may sound crazy but if I could get in touch with this family, and if I were a match for this boy would it be possible to donate my kidney to him? As a gift so to speak? I would want nothing in return ...  I am a perfectly healthy 25-year-old female and it seems so silly and awful that this child could die because of the situation. I have a 3-year-old daughter and I can't imagine if it were my baby. I know I might not be a match but IF I were, I would want to do this...

I’m only 18 but after reading the toddlers story I feel like no child should have to suffer from mistakes one of their parents have made. I would love to help and see if I’m a match.

I would like to know how I can help the child by donating one of my kidneys.We recently came across your news article about 2-year-old, A.J., being denied a kidney transplant his father, Mr. Anthony Dickerson, is willing to donate to him and thought we may be of assistance to A.J. and his family. We have fought the good fight of justice for over 20 years and offer help and support to those who may not get heard otherwise. We are about community, what's right, and above all, justice for our clients. Our motto is "Not I But We!"

I am a 19-year-old college student in Missouri. I read your story on Carmella Burgess and her 2-year-old son and it weighed on my heart. I would like to get in contact with her to see if she would allow me to get tested to see if I am a match for a kidney transplant for her little boy.

I saw the report on the 2-year-old. We would be delighted to consider doing their surgery at the Texas Medical Center.

I live in Dayton, Ohio. I will be willing to donate a kidney to the 2-year-old boy if I am a match. I do not do any drugs, smoke any tobacco products, nor am I a felon/have a criminal record. The father and myself may be around the same age. If you and the family are willing or want to try to get the process going, you are more than welcome to contact me.”

Strangers are offering kidneys because a hospital wants Anthony Dickerson minds his manners for three months before they will allow him to donate a kidney to his son.

And who knows what might happen to A.J. during those ninety days ...

11 Alive